The Bargaining Path

The Bargaining Path Page 12

by T. Rudacille

  ***

  I was right on all accounts; the next morning, I was in so much pain that every time I moved even slightly, I sunk my teeth further down into my bottom lip. The constriction of my throat left me breathing shallowly and quickly, and at first, I was only gasping, but then, I was whimpering, and finally, I was sobbing once again. How could I not? My muscles were so stiff that I was in a state of partial paralysis. I was completely out of control of my body. The fear such a lack of control provoked in me was almost as strong as the pain.

  James sent Quinn and Alice for Dr. Terry, and while we waited, he massaged my back, neck, and shoulders while I vehemently refused to use one of the leaves Dr. Terry had sent home.

  “You're being stubborn.” He told me, more calmly than I expected him to be when I continued to defy what common sense would dictate was the appropriate action to take. “If you just eat one, you'll be able to move again.”

  “I will more than likely be completely out of my mind, as well.” I hissed, “It is early. Did you wake Quinn and Alice up?”

  “No. When I went out to get your coffee, they were already up. They must have heard us talking.”

  They returned with Dr. Terry, who told me that not only would the tonic allow me to move freely, with no pain whatsoever, but that it had none of the unsavory mental side effects that typical muscle relaxers had, such as a free, potentially one-way pass to the land of the brain-dead.

  “Just three bites, Penny.” James told me sarcastically. I narrowed my eyes at him and purposely took only three small bites of the leaf. My heart went suddenly from a slightly quickened rhythm to a full out rapid sprint. I felt the color drain from my face and a cold sweat drench my palms in less than a second.

  “Alright.” James told me. “You’re alright, baby.” I had pulled my knees close to my chest and rested my face against them. When he sat beside me and pulled me towards him, I let go of my knees so I could hold onto him tightly. “Nothing’s going to happen to you. It’s like taking Tylenol. No mental side effects, just the pain going away.”

  I nodded.

  “You need to breathe.”

  “I’m breathing.”

  “Yeah, barely. Holding your breath and then only taking a small breath of air through your nose doesn’t count as breathing, dope.”

  “Shut up, James.” I pulled away and looked up at him. “You have every right to be frustrated. Stop beating yourself up. I am a frustrating person. We all have our little problems, don’t we?”

  He blinked at me for several seconds.

  “We really have got to set up boundaries with your power. I didn’t want you to know that, Brynna. And no, you’re not a frustrating per—” I frowned up at him in disbelief at his blatant lie. “Alright, you are, but that doesn’t matter. It doesn’t bother me. Well, it only bothers me when you’re stubborn about things like this.”

  “What is the great secret that all of you are keeping from me? Behind your thoughts about how frustrating I am being and how hard it is to see me in such a state, I saw that you do not know how to tell me about ‘it.’ What is ‘it?’”

  “It is nothing, Brynna.” He replied instantly. “It can be dealt with later, or I can deal with it today.”

  James would not tell me no matter how many threats I made, but Alice, Quinn, and Violet were keeping the same secret from me, and I intended to find out what it was before the morning was over. Of course, I could not properly divulge information from them when I was incapable of even turning my head to look at them without James's help.

  The long-held secret was that Don was holding the woman and her two children captive in the cells at the far end of the village. The woman was being forced to submit to interrogations, though the severity of the violence that was being used against her was not known. A feeling told me that Don, though he was being cruel, was trying to behave himself, as he had seen the full extent of his capabilities when he had so terribly abused Maura. When she had died, he had even admitted to me how very sick he was.

  But was he sick?

  “We knew you were going to be furious, so we decided not to tell you last night.” James told me gently after I sent Violet, Quinn, and Alice back to bed; I felt terribly that I had awoken them, and as the sun was only just beginning to extend its reach from under the horizon, they could still sleep for a little longer before Penny awoke and all resting for the remainder of the day would be completely impossible; once she was awake, she was ready to play and wreak mischievous havoc on all those around her.

  “I am not furious, James. I am merely perturbed. Something tells me that thus far, she has not suffered too terribly much. Any level of suffering is unnecessary and certainly unwanted by me. As a result, I am going to put an abrupt end to it, and though I will fight the urge, I will more than likely fail to suppress all inclinations of physical violence towards Don. His 'sickness,' as he calls it, is beginning to truly disgust and infuriate me. You know how I am about violence towards women.”

  I tried to sit up abruptly only to feel my muscles give yet another emphatic shout of protest. It had been an hour and a half since I had taken those few bites of the leaf. I reached back and massaged the muscle between my shoulder blades that was screaming the loudest, and grimaced as the pressure on it only intensified the pain.

  “Alright, you valiant crusader of justice and righteousness, maybe we should get you one of those hot massage rocks or a slumber root? Or maybe, I don't know, you could just eat the rest of the leaf!”

  “A slumber root? Why on Pangaea would I want a slumber root?”

  He had shoved a handful of dried fruit into his mouth, and he made a face as he chewed it up quickly.

  “Because you don't necessarily have to slumber, dope!” He said in a tone that suggested I was willingly blinding myself because I did not want to take anything at all. He was right to assume that, as he very well knew, and I smiled innocently at him and reached my hands out so he could grab them and pull me into a sitting position.

  “You're on your way to an epic battle. I can't stop you with my Socratic reasoning and logic, can I?” He asked, and I looked up at him with a very telling expression of my own. “I should have guessed that. Fine. I will join you on your quest.”

  “Oh, will you?” I asked, and I kissed him. “Good, because I might need someone to carry me back.”

  “Are you suggesting that my accompaniment on this brave deed is merely to be used as a mule after it is completed?”

  After I had set my feet on the floor and stood up, I looked over my shoulder and grinned as I walked slowly away, but said nothing. His hysterical laughter provoked the same in me, and when he rushed to meet me, I yelped in surprise and glee when he swept me up off of my feet and instantly pressed his lips to mine for a hilariously over-exaggerated, highly dramatic kiss.

  “Smooth move!” I exclaimed through another fit of giggles after he had pulled away from me. I gasped suddenly, and shushed him as he shushed me at the same time. We both looked at Penny's door and allowed our hearing to enhance; she was still breathing with the steady, slow inhales and exhales of sleep. We both grinned again, and I rested my forehead against his as he carried me out into the living room where Violet, Alice, and now Quinn were fast asleep with a pack of cards strewn on the table and pieces of dried fruit and random vegetables in the center.

  “Two things...” James said.

  “And they are?”

  “One, should we be disturbed that there appears to be one outfit of a gambling ring in our living room, and also that the gamblers in this gambling ring are eighteen? Do you think that they are on a dangerous path that will lead to drugs, prostitutes, and teenage pregnancy?”

  I laughed in response to that, until I realized that he really was mildly concerned.

  “James...” I tilted my head on the side and frowned, “They are betting cabbage, for the sake of all deities and Gods. I do not think that they will be breaking kneecaps over vegetables, however scarce they may be.”
>
  “You're probably right. But if I see Violet carrying around a blunt weapon...”

  “We will promptly take it away, and send her to her room first, and a counseling session with Dr. Welles second.”

  “Sounds like a plan. Second, why are you shushing me? I didn't make any noise.”

  We got outside, and he put me down gently.

  “You picked me up and made me laugh loudly. My exclamation was the fault of you and your crazed games.”

  One of his loud outbursts of laughter sounded again, and once again, my laughter followed.

  “It was also the result of your ridiculous laugh! You always do the same laugh when I do something that is very highly amusing. And every time you do it, you make me laugh, too! If Penny would have woken up, it would have been all your fault.”

  “You're probably right about all of those things. And that ridiculous laugh is reserved only for you, just so you are aware. Well, you and Penny. Like when she kicked the soccer ball into Quinn's face and then into Elijah's nuts, or when she told me that I wasn't allowed to 'be your best friend' until I admitted that Dora was better than Diego.”

  “This is what you two were discussing while I was gone?” I asked with a wide smile on my face and a swelling of love for them both in my heart. “And did you recant your assertion that Diego is better than Dora?”

  He looked at me, brows furrowed and with a jocular frown.

  “Of course not!”

  “So, Penny does not approve of our relationship?”

  “That's the other funny part of the story. She looked up at me, sighed heavily, rolled her eyes, and shook her head, and do you know what she said?”

  “I do not, but I can only imagine.”

  “She said, 'Well, James, I suppose we will just have 'to agree to disagree,' as they say.'”

  “She did not!”

  “Oh, yes she did. And do you know what I did?”

  “I do not, but I can only imagine.” I repeated as I covered my mouth to stifle the sound of my own laughter.

  “I laughed ridiculously, as you say.”

  “Of course you did! That is hilarious! Oh, God or Gods...” I wiped at the tears in my eyes that the hilarity of it all had provoked. “That made me forget how much pain I am in.”

  “Well, I am glad that my stories told in my deep, manly voice, and my brilliant sense of humor are so potently hypnotic that they were able to soothe your pain.”

  I grasped his hand in both of mine and stood on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek. The gesture was a sudden and very necessary showing of gratitude for all he done while I was gone. I had yet to thank him for taking care of Violet and Penny and for guiding them to safety. In my heart, I knew every condolence and reassurance he had given them, and every joke or ridiculous statement he had used to distract them. I could feel his valiance to protect not only them, but that woman's children, as well. I could feel his determination to see them all arrive at the forest village in one piece, with as little physical and emotional scarring as was possible for him to fight off.

  “I should have said this a million times by now...” I started.

  He turned his head and leaned in to kiss me slowly, stopping us in mid-stride so he could turn me towards him. My hands ran up his back and grasped onto his shoulders as my lips moved in perfect synchrony with his. The forest was quiet and the air was perfectly chilled; I feared nothing and thought nothing, and that emptiness was, as always, truly blissful, however short-lived it might have been. When he pulled away from me and put his hands on my face, I could not help but to smile slightly up at him; in the darkness of the morning, lit only by the still glowing torches that lined the path, he was, as always, simply the most attractive man I had ever seen. His eyes were alight with that gently crackling fire of the torches, and the shadows of his face were not harsh or frightening, as they were when he was angry; in fact, with that lighting, it is almost silly to say, he looked like a chiseled statue of a Greek god.

  Given how very tired I was, and how terribly my body still ached, I probably looked like the female version of Hephaestus, the deformed son of the Greek god king and queen, Zeus and Hera. The way my body was half crouched over and the way my face was slightly swollen from the many beatings I had taken, I was far more reminiscent of him than any of the beautiful goddesses I sometimes wished I looked like.

  “I am sorry I never said...” I started to say quickly to distract myself from those thoughts.

  “Shh…” He kissed me quickly, “You don't have to say anything. Keeping them safe is my job. It's something I am supposed to do for both them and you. Of course, it's not only a job.” He shook his head slightly, “You understand what I'm trying to say.”

  “I do, and if you won't let me thank you, then I will just say that I love you. I love you so much that I can't even find words for it, James.”

  He smiled, and kissed me again.

  “I love you just as much, beautiful.” A grin pulled at the corners of his mouth, and I sighed in joking exasperation, awaiting what he was going to say. “And the words are 'insanely, passionately, until my dying breath, you are stronger than Thor and your abs are more chiseled than Superman's...”

  “Alright, you have crossed over the border from possibly true to utterly ridiculous; no one's abs are more chiseled than Superman's, and no one is stronger than the Norse God of Thunder!”

  “Perhaps not, but you could also say that I have the biggest...”

  “Oh, God, I know where this is headed!”

  “Muscles. I was going to say muscles. Look whose mind has taken a tumble down into the gutter.”

  “You are an idiot.” I kissed his cheek again.

  “I am, so opposites really do attract, don't they?”

  “Oh, what a lovely compliment.” I said with a smile, “And you said something humble! I am so proud of you. But you are not really an idiot. You were an engineer. You built a spacecraft that traveled a mind-boggling number of miles without running out of fuel or breaking apart or plummeting out of the air.”

  “I helped!”

  “More humble sentiments! My stars, you are full of surprises, James Maxw—”

  The torrent of images that flooded my mind erased all lighthearted jesting and deeply feeling professions of love and appreciation from my mind. I doubled over, grasping my forehead as though my touch would somehow heal the searing pain of seeing such disconcerting things without warning. In the distance, James's voice was echoing towards me down a long, dark tunnel, asking me somewhat frantically if I was alright. Through all of the images, I could still feel his arms around me and was vaguely aware that the only reason I was still standing was because of him.

  The woman's breaths were hitching in her throat, and she was looking up at Don, who wore an expression of that most contemptible lust that I had been so unfortunate to see at a very young age. Use of repetitive, brutal force was enough to inflict deep wounds on her and to leave her blood flowing freely down her porcelain-white skin. The lens of my mind amplified this color contrast to a startling precision that nearly stole my breath: the harshly fiery reds of her blood tainted her pale skin that nothing, not even age or the illness she had nearly succumbed to in the mountains, could taint before. As my mind's eye focused, the dark blues and purples became visible, and quite jarringly, I saw parts of her bruises that had given way to black. Her mind screamed that she did not want to beg him to stop, that she wanted to remain firm and defiant, spitting her blood at him and spewing insults and threats as she had been doing for three days, but her heart was breaking as fear for her children tightened its smothering hold. Through all of that, I saw no fear for herself. The face of Paul was there at the forefront of her mind, intermixed with the faces of those children for whom she so feared. Seeing him in perfect clarity sent another wave of pain, as precise and searing as a lightning bolt, through my head and down my spine. I did not ask myself why she would be picturing him, as I already knew from the way a surge of comfort took hold of h
er heart that she had romantic feelings for him.

  How could anyone feel such things towards him? How could anyone love such an evil man? This woman did not deserve my help or even my pity if she could love him.

  “Mr. Abba...”

  Addressing him formally was meant to soften his rage and to provoke sympathy. Despite feeling nothing but the deepest ire for him, she forced herself, in a show of conniving wisdom I could not help but admire, to show him respect. When her large brown eyes looked up at him, she forced herself to look as pitiful as possible, even though it sickened her. The tears were not fake, but the crackling and subsequent break of her voice was.

  “Mr. Abba, I'll say whatever you need me to say. If you just let me take my children to him...”

  “Your children have seen too much.” He told her coldly. “Your daughter is old enough to remember all of this, and she can carry back to him where we are now. Do you really think I'm willing to risk the lives of everyone I am responsible for because you're looking up at me like that? Also, do you really think that I am so stupid?”

  “I'll come back. They have nothing to do with this. But I'll stay with you, and I won't try to run away... Please. Their father is gone, and Paul promised he'd take care of them if something happened to both of us! He said he would make sure they...”

  “You think that I'm stupid enough to hand your kids over to them, or that I believe he's this gentle, loving soul that makes promises to needy widows after their husbands have been killed?” Don laughed raucously. “Come on, Savannah! Who do you think you're talking to?! Do you think I believe that? Also, do you think that I believe this little act of yours? I can see into your heart!”

  A harsh surge of fear struck her heart as suddenly and painfully as the wave of pain through my head.

  “You're afraid not only of me and what I'm going to do to you, but of messing something up.”

  “We need to live here. We can't survive out there on our own. I can't hunt. I can't find water. I don't know how. My children will die. I need for you to let me stay so I...”

  “No, he put you up to this. You're afraid of being found out and screwing up his plans! He thought those kids would make your little story believable. Now I'm trying to decide whether you went along with his plan knowing all of that, or if you're just some pathetically dumb, piously devoted follower who doesn't know any better. Would you care to enlighten me, sweetheart?”

  Ticking. Her anger was literally ticking inside of her as he taunted and insulted her. As the release of her children became nothing more than a wish, the ticking intensified to a deafening, unified sound in her mind before exploding out of her.

  “Let them go!” She screamed, so loudly that her voice cracked under the strain. Her body thrust itself forward, and the ropes around her wrists tightened and dug further into the bloody scratches that had been etching there over her hours of struggling to free herself. “You son of a bitch! Let them go!”

  It was not his hand that cut off her infuriated shouts; it was his mouth. A cold sweat broke over me, and I threw myself upwards so I was standing on my feet again. While ignoring James's frantic questions behind me, I walked forward speedily, running my fingers through my hair with a violently trembling hand. I was not in the room with her, and yet I had been able to see what was happening to her. This was all because in the back of her mind, I had heard a droning sound, knowing that it was a repetitive phrase that she could not bring herself to say.

  “The girl who saved us.”

  She had been calling out to me for help, and my subconscious mind had picked up the phone, so to speak. In order for me to fully comprehend the message, my subconscious had to shut out the conscious part that was constantly fighting the subliminal thoughts of others. The latter of the two had to restart and reengage with reality so I could stop the inevitable consequence of Don's internally roaring, monstrous lust and fury.

  I had not realized how quickly I was moving until I had burst through the door of the prison building that I had found by pure chance. The many cells of that building were empty, so her deafening screams for help echoed to meet me at a volume even louder than they actually were. My legs moved one in front of the other at the impossibly speedy pace the creature inside of me was capable of reaching, and within a millisecond, I was in the room with them. Within another millisecond, I was turning away upon viewing the sight of her pinned down on the table by his meaty hands.

  “Brynna!” Don jumped off of her, and immediately, she kicked her bound feet at him. With ease, he dodged and held them down to the table firmly. “You're back!”

  His eyes, the size of which I normally found comical, were widened to their farthest reaches, and his mouth was opening and closing even when no words could be found to express his genuine surprise. As he had once caught James and me in the act of intimacy (which was completely normal by comparison, despite the natural surroundings and the fact that we had allowed ourselves to succumb to our desire while we were trekking off to war), I was catching him in the beginning stages of a disgusting perversion with a woman who might not have been on our side, but who was a human being and therefore did not deserve to be violated so terribly.

  “You're her.” The woman looked at me, and tears fell even more freely from her eyes. “You're the one who helped us.” Her voice dropped to a tremulous whisper when his burning look of rage fell onto her. “Please make him stop.”

  When I had taken the post as Don's second-in-command, I had vowed to offset his sickening ways. He had asked me to help him behave himself, to put it lightly. Calling it sickness had been questionable, but it was certainly sickening, what he felt possessed to do. Still, I was becoming infected by his laws, one of which stated clearly that judgment was reserved for our own individual versions of God, and though I did sympathize for the woman he had already harmed terribly, I would not kill him for trying to do what I felt was the second-most reprehensible crime.

  Now, my allowing him to keep his life and my reluctance to judge him should not suggest that I approved of what he was doing. Deep down, I acknowledged my rage that he could harm someone so senselessly and cruelly. And of course, I was not going to allow that to happen to her; even if I did not like her or her choice of romantic interest; even if I hated her down to the most basic foundation of her soul, I could not knowingly allow her to be assaulted.

  “Let her up.”

  My eyes stayed locked on his, but I was so disgusted with him that my voice was only able to rise to a forceful whisper. When he opened his mouth to argue, I slammed my fist down on the table beside her, causing them both to jump.

  “I'm sorry.” He whispered to me, and I doubted that she had heard, but I certainly had.

  “Sit up.” I said somewhat abruptly to the woman. My eyes moved back to his to avoid seeing that her shirt was ripped down the front. “Sit up!”

  The movement was the desperate will of her body, I knew. Her mind was still too petrified to control the way her body reacted to my words.

  “I know she's dangerous.” Don had raised his voice so she could hear. “She wants me to let her children go back to Paul. You remember him, don't you?”

  “Not particularly.” I shot back at him, the lie so obvious that the woman looked to me hopefully, as though I might spill the details of my last time seeing Paul, and in those spilled details, I might mention if he had said that he was coming to her aid. “They are all a blur of lunacy brought about by senseless piousness, Don, and in that blur, no one face is readily discernible. You know that. I have made that clear to you in the past. You say she is dangerous? Give me a knife.”

  “Brynna...”

  “Don, you have already angered me substantially by going to this extreme! You said that you would make an effort...”

  “I said I needed your help...”

  “Give me the knife.”

  “Oh, God... oh, God...” The woman cried, and her shaking body bent over so her chest was rested against her legs. “Please don't.�
��

  With my eyes on Don's still, I cut through the ropes around her wrists. The moment they were free, she wrapped her arms around her front, and I began to realize that she was trying to bring her sobs under control. Even though she was still in the presence of the man who had almost assaulted her in the most brutal way, she was trying to regain her composure.

  “What's going on?” James came bursting through the door, huffing and puffing. “God, I'm getting old... Gotta get back in shape to keep up with you, baby.” He stopped and breathed for a second.

  “Come on.” I told the woman, still in a tone that was practically on par with the bark of a drill sergeant except that the volume was drastically lower. “Let's go.”

  “Brynna, she's not leaving here. She and her kids aren't living with us like they're part of our numbers. They're from up north, and she's in league with Paul! They have something worked out between them...”

  “Paul tried to help us when Mary and Rich made us leave.” The woman implored him to believe her. “He said he would help us find a place to settle in. I told you that. He said he'd help us! Please, that’s all!”

  “Alright.” I said, “Come on. We will find you a place to stay.”

  “Can you walk, sweetheart?” James asked her gently, and she nodded but let him put her arm around his neck so he could walk her along. “You're alright. It's okay, honey.”

  “Just take her outside and let her get some air while I talk to him.” I said to James, who nodded and lead her towards the door of the room.

  “Ellie and Oliver...” She started to say, “My children...”

  “I will get them on the way out.” I told her, and she nodded before reaching out her hand to grasp my own. The sudden contact between us startled me, and looking into her tearing eyes left me feeling shaken and surprisingly despondent. When James finally escorted her from the room, I was relieved.

  “Brynna, I'm putting my foot down. It's not happening.” Don told me angrily. “I'm willing to let you have a say in how she and her children are treated...”

  “I am taking full control over the prisoners we are unfortunate enough to acquire, Don.” I walked over to the corner of the room where a wooden carved jug was placed on a table and surrounded by small glass cups. I did not care what it was; I poured myself a glass and took a drink to discover that it was some unknown yet very potent alcohol.

  “I thought that would make her talk. It didn't. Just made her sick.” He said with almost a hint of genuine shame in his voice. “I got carried away. The guys went home for the night, and they've been keeping me on the right path while you were gone. I went home for a while, too. We thought being alone might make her want to talk, also. But I couldn't stop thinking about her, Brynna. I couldn't, so I came back, and I told myself we were just going to talk...”

  Silence ensued between us as I took another slow drink from the glass.

  “I meant everything I said to you before the city burned. I really value your opinion now. I need you.”

  “What began your sudden appreciation of my points of view?”

  “It was when you stood up to me, actually. You might not admit this, but I could sense that a part of you was frightened, however slightly. You weren't afraid of me; you were afraid of what I might do to those who couldn't defend themselves. I was wrong to suggest that we leave people behind. I've been harping on this 'everyone must have a duty' thing for too long. Well, I still believe in that, but I made a jackass move, and believe me, I've fallen out of favor. To not put too fine a point on it, I will say that part of my decision to ask you to help me out with leading these people is that they all really like you.”

  “That is quite shocking, if I am going to be modest. If I am going to be conceited and state truly how I really feel on the matter, I will say that they like me because I defended them. I value them all individually. I focus on the parts, not the sum of them all. Besides all of that, I do not promote an atmosphere where rape and murder are shrugged off as easily as changes in the weather. Don, what are you doing?!” I turned around and looked at him with what I hoped was a very minimal showing of the deep disgust I felt towards him. “I have done you a major kindness by allowing you to keep your life after you cruelly and brutally took Maura's. You are lucky I did not kill you when you murdered the woman who took care of me from infancy to age ten, and a little more after that, as well. If it weren't for the deterioration of mine and Maura's relationship, I would have snapped you right in half with my hands; not James's, not Elijah's... my own. Given the emotional investment, I would have inflicted such terrible pain on you. But you are here, and I do not want your gratitude for that...” I held up my hand to stop him from speaking, “I just want you to be aware that I gave you your life. I let you keep it, rather.”

  “When I knew that she was going to die, I was afraid that you would kill me.”

  “Of course you were, and I thought about it, believe me. But luckily for you, Maura did not want me taking up arms on her behalf. She did not want me staging a coup and possibly losing my life in the process. Now, I took this position with you for no other reason than that your behavior concerns me and your decisions irritate me at the least, and at the most, they infuriate me. As I have been establishing rapports and relationships with each member of our group, and you know that there are many, I can say that I know what they want, of what they are afraid, and how they see things going if we continue to live under only your rule. The last two of those three things are synonymous, just so you are aware.”

  “I know. I screwed up, Brynn. I've let my...” His hand made a frantic circular motion in front of his chest, “I've let my demons, we'll say, get the better of me. On Earth, I never hurt anyone, even though I thought about it all the time. Now that I'm here, and there's no law except my own, I've let it rule my life, and I need you to help me keep it in check. That's why I'm glad that you're here now, and you're saying all that you're saying. I mean, I'm pissed because I couldn't do what I wanted, and I'll admit that to you. But I like to say that that's just the demon talking.”

  “You sound like a Bachum when you say that. Do not say things like that. I will allow you to call it your sickness even though I am unsure that that is an accurate description. Don, just start trying to control it. If you feel the need...” I had to suppress an eye roll, “...come and see me, and I will talk you through it, though please do not tell James that I said that. He will think it is both stupid and reckless, and if he had any inkling that you were in that type of mood, he would rip out your heart on sight.”

  “Yes. He is very fond of you. He was the first one out of your friends and family to say he was coming after you.”

  “Yes. He is fiercely protective of me, and I am fiercely protective of myself, and I would like you to keep that in mind.”

  “I would never hurt you, Brynna. You are far too young, for one thing, and for another, I respect you far too much.”

  The issue of respect and the effects it had on choosing viable candidates for his assaults were a mental debate for another time.

  “Leave the issue of this woman up to me. I will take full responsibility for her and her children, as I am the one who found them and offered to take them in. Adam will put me in contact with the leader of this village by midday today, if he is feeling up to speaking...”

  “Adam came back with you?!” Don followed me out into the hallway, practically jogging along in my wake. “Is he alright? God, I thought I lost you both, and you're two of my only assets.”

  “You have many assets, Don. All of the people in this camp are your assets. Now...” I turned back to him, “I want you to stay away from her and her children.”

  “I don't like this, Brynna. I think you're making a big mistake. I don't want to consign control over this particular situation to you, and as the actual leader here, I don't think that I should have to if I am this staunchly opposed to doing it.”

  “Do you want my help or not?” I asked, and he was silent. “Exa
ctly. Now, where are her children?”

  James had argued on behalf of both the woman and her children, but had only won for the latter. They were staying with Rachel, whom I was sure was taking excellent care of them. When we got outside, James and the woman were sitting down on the stone wall just outside of the building. Her head was rested under his, and she was hiccupping every couple of seconds as new sobs took hold of her.

  “Alright; they are staying with a dear friend of mine, and I know that they are being taken care of. In fact, they have probably been fed enough food that their body weights have doubled. As a result of their full stomachs, they are more than likely blissfully asleep. As we still have an hour until daylight, I would suggest that you allow us to escort you to the infirmary building, where they will patch up your injuries and give you something for the pain.”

  “Brynn...” James looked up at me, “I know it's hard, but you have to try for a little humanity, baby.”

  “What in God's or the Gods' names are you talking about?” I hissed furiously, “That is a very humane course of action. I am concerned for not only her physical health that guarantees her continued existence, but also her comfort. What more do you want from me?”

  “No. It's alright.” The woman stood up, “I understand. I appreciate what you've done for me so much...”

  She trailed off, and by the way her voice rose in inflection at the end, I gathered that she was asking me a question. My brows crinkled together as I tried to recall the last sentence she had spoken verbatim, and after I had with ease, I searched for any typical question words.

  “She's Brynna.” James answered for me, “And yes, she is very strange.”

  “He's James.” I said instantly, “And yes, he is very simple. And annoying. Yes, we are dating, and yes, that is strange. But it is what it is, to use an irritating tautology. Shall we go?”

  “I'm fine. I just need to see my children. I don't need to see a doctor. I'm just... I'm very tired, and I'm a little sore, but...” The tears took hold of her again, and she flinched visibly when Don exited the building behind me. He stopped to say something to her, but she had latched onto my neck and squeezed her eyes shut, much to my dismay.

  “Goodnight, Don.” I shot at him, hoping he would then walk away so the woman would let go of me.

  “Is Adam in the hospital?”

  “Yes. Goodnight, Don.”

  “It's morning.”

  “Don, go away!” I screamed finally. Knowing that he had sauntered off in the direction of the infirmary did not bring me any comfort, but it certainly calmed the woman down. She took me at my word that her children were well taken care of, and allowed James and me to lead her to the hospital despite Don's presence there.

  “He will be in another room. You will not even see him.” I told her with as much warmth in my voice as I could muster which, if you know me by now, you know was not very much.

  Apparently, while I was gone, they had set up rotating shifts in the village hospital; two of our doctors and two of Pangaea's were there when we arrived. They greeted us warmly, and one of ours and one of theirs, a woman and a man, respectively, stood up to take the woman from us.

  “We will wait outside.” I told her, and still, I was struggling to summon forth the kindness needed to speak civilly.

  Upon hearing that we would be leaving her, she startled visibly. Then, she reached out and grabbed my hand in both of hers.

  “Please stay with me.” She whispered softly, and my gaze snapped rapidly between every inanimate object in the room to avoid looking into her eyes, which I knew would be filled with tears and pleading. My stomach rolled over dangerously, and even the pains throughout my back and shoulders intensified in sheer resistance to the idea of being stuck alone in a room with this woman who may or may not have been an enemy, but more importantly, would require my emotional support. I looked back at James finally, and as I expected, the infuriating so-and-so only nodded, and told me quietly with his eyes that I should accompany this woman to her treatment. I looked back at her, but not into her eyes; I assessed the damage done to her physically to discover that her injuries were not terribly severe, which meant that her medical care would not take long, which meant that I would be in and out of the situation before it could reach a level of discomfort that would surely steal my body's ability to suppress bile.

  “Yes.” I said vaguely, and as we went into the room, I scowled darkly at James over my shoulder. His face that had been so passive a moment earlier transformed to an overly exaggerated scowl that was meant to mock my own. I narrowed my eyes, feeling my lips push outward to form what Violet would call a “kissing-face” (which she made often in pictures that were later posted on her internet social site) and Penny would call “the fish-face.” In my case, I was simply trying very hard not to laugh, which he gathered immediately.

  “I love you.” He said in a very deep voice, “Even when you're miffed at me.”

  I made sure the door was closed before I laughed, knowing that he could not hear me.

  “I heard that.” He said in the same deep voice.

  Finally, I did laugh out loud, before walking down the long, dimly lit hallway in search of the woman and the two doctors. When I found them, they all looked at me, and I immediately erased the smile from my face. I realized that they had been waiting for me to arrive.

  “Sorry.”

  “No problem.” Our doctor said, but the Pangaean one looked quite irritated. My snippy tendencies took hold of me instantly, and I wanted very much to snap at him, to demand an explanation for his attitude, but instead, I walked over to stand beside the woman, feeling as though I were acting in some poorly conceived stage production in which I played the role of a concerned daughter comforting her mother while they awaited a terrible diagnosis. Why it was that particular scenario that my mind leaped to first, I do not know; the woman's injuries were not deadly, and she looked nothing like me, nor did I feel any of the varying levels of attachment that a child can feel towards a parent.

  The second the Pangaean doctor touched her, she jumped sideways and held onto my hand again.

  “Yes. I am very frightening.” He said, in a tone that reminded me so much of Adam that I had to look twice to make sure that they were not one in the same. “This side consists of all the darkness-loving boogeymen, does it not?”

  He was checking her pulse, and she was cringing at just that slight touch.

  “What they told you about us is not true.” I told her suddenly, more to release the tension in the room than to put her mind at ease. “We do not worship idols, or dance naked under the full moon...” I trailed off, “Well, only some of us do that. We do not sacrifice camouflaging deer, or have wild sex parties...” I stopped again. “Only some of us do that, too.”

  “There is no use explaining, Reinepremier.” He told me, “This one has her heart made up.”

  The woman shook her head and looked between the three of us.

  “That's not true.” She said timidly, “They made us leave. My husband, my children, and I... We weren't allowed to stay there anymore because we didn't want to fight.”

  “How many others were there?” I asked her before the other two could get a word in.

  “A lot.” She answered, and her voice broke, “They were all living in one of the caves a couple miles or so from where Mary and Rich were. It's not right what they did to us...” Tears began to fall from her eyes, “There were so many people who died. Children died up there.”

  “In this cave?” I asked, and after our doctor had handed her a bag of ice, and the Pangaean doctor had left some leaves, I nodded to tell them that it was alright to give us time alone to talk.

  “Yes.” She answered.

  “Why did you leave there?”

  “My husband died, and I knew that it was only a matter of time before we died, too. Every night we went to sleep, and in the morning, at least five of us didn't wake up.”

  “There must have been a lot of people in
this cave if you were losing five a day and there were still people of which you can speak now.”

  “I don't know if there are still people there. I took Ellie and Oliver, and we tried to hike down the mountain. It was colder than when we came up, and we didn't have our bags, so we didn't have warm clothes to wear. I didn't let them take anything because I thought that it would slow us down, and Ellie insisted that we needed the bags, but I refused. She was right.”

  “Perhaps. No one else thought it would be prudent to hike down the mountain?”

  “We were really high up, and people were afraid that the snow and ice would make it too difficult. They were right, too. It took only a day before it was too cold to keep going, and before the way down became too dangerous. I had given them my jacket, and I got too cold. My eyes started getting blurry, and then I couldn’t see anything at all, and if it weren’t for the fact that I had pulled my shirt up to cover my nose, I would have lost it, I know. I think I had frostbite on my fingers, but it’s gone now. That man gave me something, and it healed. Elixir…” She looked up at me, and I nodded.

  “Yes. It heals all ailments. That is why it is hard to find. If we had a never-ending supply, we would never die.”

  “If you hadn't found us, Brynna, we'd be dead.” She said, somewhat randomly.

  “Your daughter was out looking for help. She knew that we weren't with the Bachums just by instinct. That is a good sign.” I added, also quite randomly.

  “Why?”

  “Because it shows that some semblance of the evolution has taken hold of her, which will put you in favor with Don.”

  “I don't want to be in favor with him.” She whispered.

  “Believe me when I say that you do. If you all are normal, and we are all mutated freaks, he is not going to let you stay. You have no chance of surviving out in the woods; forget the weather, and think about the creatures that you have never seen and about which you know nothing. There are far worse things out there than what we could possibly have encountered on Earth, and I highly recommend that you keep that in mind if you decide that running off is a safer option for you and your children.”

  “I don't want to run off. But I don't want to have to see him, either.”

  “Are you telling me that the safety of your children and yourself, that your lives, are not worth trying to make it work here?”

  “Of course I'm not saying that!” She said, and her tears flared up again. “I'm...” She looked away from me, “I'm afraid of him. His eyes... when he was hurting me...”

  “Yes. They turned white, I am sure.”

  “No.” She looked back at me, shaking her head. “It wasn't that. I just... I knew that he wanted to, do you know what I'm saying?”

  Unfortunately, I understood her completely, and was as sickened by that as she was, except I was not surprised.

  “I told him so many times that I didn't know anything... I tried to reason with him, too. I said that if I was a spy, I wouldn't have Ellie and Oliver with me, but he just thought that they were a cover-up. Even when I was begging to know if they were alright, and begging him to let them go... He even said that they probably weren't even my children. My husband is gone, and I'm all they have left, and I have done a terrible job protecting them thus far, and I hope they're angry with me...”

  “I sincerely doubt that Oliver is angry, as he is very young and probably does not understand. And Ellie was adamant that we get you help. She begged me to do anything in my power to save you. If any blame will fall on anyone for all that has occurred, it will be on me, as I was not here to prevent Don from taking you in for questioning.”

  “It's not your fault.”

  I looked up at her with nothing but the most potent bewilderment.

  “Of course it is not my fault! I was otherwise engaged for the past three days, or else this would not have happened. Don is like a stubborn child, albeit one with very sick interests; he just needs a firm hand. That is where I come in, and if I had been here, I would not have allowed him to hurt you the way he has hurt you. His history in that area is sordid, to say the least. He has questionable intentions with every woman with whom he comes in contact.”

  “So, why is he allowed to lead all of you?”

  “Because he rebuilt their lives from the ground up, long before I even arrived. He gave them stability and community and a purpose. We are all held together by those things, even now. There were hiccups in all three, but they righted themselves. Despite his faults, he has jump-started the second life of every person who chose to follow him and not your leaders.”

  On the last word, my voice dropped into mildly derisive sarcasm, a tonal shift that was not lost on her. She smiled ever so slightly, and I sensed that suddenly, I had her pity. You can imagine my indignant fury.

  “So, he is like your God?” She asked me, and it sounded as though she were speaking to a child about his or her imaginary friends, when the child was twelve and should have let go of such things years earlier.

  “No. He is like our leader.” I replied in the same voice. What else could I do?

  “That's just what Mary and Rich said.” She covered quickly, one hand compulsively pushing her long black hair behind her ear. “They said that you all look to him as your God.”

  I studied her, feeling another wave of irritation rise up to an ominous height.

  “We all have our own gods, but he is not one of them. Contrary to what Mary and Rich have drilled into your ears and mind, freedom to have a God or not have one was guaranteed to us on Earth, in all free countries. God or Gods, I did not think I would be having a debate after the world ended about the importance of separating church and state.”

  “I don't argue with that. I'm not debating the importance of that with you.” She insisted somewhat frantically. She was afraid that if she angered me too much, I would force her to leave, even though she was not sure whether she wanted to stay in the first place. “I'm just telling you that I don't think someone so terrible should be leading innocent people.”

  “And it is like I said: Despite what he has done, and despite his extra-curricular interests, he is a strong leader who, besides a few missteps, has always put the interest of the group above his own. Without him, we would not have survived.”

  To be saying all of that out loud was no longer difficult, as I had finally realized that all of those things were true. Don's decisions were sometimes reckless, and just once, I sincerely thought that he had lost his way (when he had suggested that all those who could not fight did not serve a purpose and were therefore no longer his concern), but now that I was aiding him, I could not hold him accountable for the rockier patches of his rule, as I knew they would not repeat. I certainly was not in the frightfully large group that thought his appointment as leader was on par with the second-coming of Christ, but I did appreciate all he had done. While out in the woods, struggling to survive, I had had plenty of time to think, and one of the thoughts that I had allowed to settle into comfort within my mind was that Don was a strong leader, who deserved respect for only that. As a human being, he was flawed and dangerous, but those were times of war, when those two traits were not only hard to care about, but easy to look at as being convenient in the long run.

  “Will he hurt my children? Will he try to hurt me again?”

  “No. I will ensure that he keeps his distance.”

  “He will listen to you?”

  “If not to me, then to his boss.”

  “That's Adam?”

  “Adam is his boss, yes. What, dare I ask, have you heard about Adam?”

  “Only that he is very, very dangerous, and that he is probably the worst man ever to be born, worse than Satan, as per Rich.”

  “Interesting. I will let him know all of those things, and he will be most entertained. God, his ego, which, let me tell you, is already gargantuan, will stretch to the Earth and back now. Oh, he will be entertained. Delighted, also, I am sure.” I found myself grinning as I pictured the glint o
f malicious amusement that would be glowing in Adam's eyes when I told him what she had just said. Within a fraction of a second, though, I forced the passive look of nonchalance to reappear back on my face.

  “Brynna?” She said, and I looked at her, despite wanting nothing more than to run away, for I knew that some emotional admittance was coming my way...

  “Yes?”

  Her hand rested on my face, and I winced at her touch.

  “It's alright.” She assured me gently, and I was insulted that she believed I was afraid of her. I opened my mouth to quickly swat down that belief, but she interrupted me. “Thank you.”

  “It is not a problem.” I peeled her hand from my face and stood up. “Nor is it a big deal, as they say. Come along.” I scooped the leaves that had been left for her into a cup and handed them to her. “Let's go get your children.” I stopped, realizing that I had left something out of the conversational equation long ago, which would suffice for why it was over, and I still could not find a point where it had begun to flow with even a semblance of normalcy. “What is your name?”

  “Savannah.” She answered, “Savannah Mack.”

  I had known that, but I had wanted to hear it from her. I figured since she had found out my name through formality, I would find out her own the same way.

  “Alright, then.” I nodded, “Now I know.”

  “And you are Brynna Olivier, aren't you?”

  “Do you know of any other Brynna's who survived? I have always wanted to meet one.”

  “That was a fun avoidance of the question.” She told me with a slight laugh as she wiped at her eyes.

  “Are you a therapist?”

  “I am, or I was.”

  “Oh, so you are an educated woman, with at least a PhD, I presume.” We were leaving the room. “May I ask why you chose to follow the Bachums?”

  She smiled slightly, and said in a tone that was slightly teasing:

  “Are you suggesting that one can't be educated and religious?”

  “Are you playing psychological mind games with me in an effort to understand the quirks of my personality?”

  “I am, indeed.”

  “I know you are. I asked that question to answer yours. Think about it.”

  She laughed softly at that, and I couldn't decide if she thought I was kidding. I wondered briefly if I should clarify for her that I was not, that I could not have been more serious, but thought better of it. I was tired, and wanted to check on Adam before heading out to find her a place to stay.

  “You're clever.” She told me.

  “I am, and I have been for a very long time. In response to your question, I will say that while one can certainly be educated and religious, an educated woman cannot coexist with religious zealots who believe the place of that woman is in the kitchen or on her back.”

  Yes. It was salty. But I did not want Savannah to get the wrong idea, thinking that I was supportive in any way of the place from which she had been exiled. Perhaps it was her association and continued pining for Paul, Tyre's true right-hand man, but something told me that her ties were not completely severed to the place. The bond between herself and the people there remained. I could not help but wonder if her dedication to their cause was still alive, at the very least. A part of me even wondered briefly, after listening to her hesitations about accepting Don as leader (however warranted they might have been), that she might have been a spy, sent to learn our location so she could report back to her leaders. Tyre and Rich would have loved nothing more than to finish what they had started, and the bottom line was, they had left many alive. Their quarrel was not with only Adam anymore; it was with whoever had been so foolish as to choose the opposing side. In Rich's view, at least, choosing to live under Don's laws was tantamount to breaking every commandment handed down by God. We were children of darkness. We were not worthy of our eternal lives.

  “May I ask you something?”

  “Absolutely.” She replied.

  “Did Rich, Paul, and Tyre mention the little hiccup in their faithful plan?” I stopped, shook my head slightly, and tried again. “Let me offer a little context and then rephrase that: Dying is the way that religious people return to their Creator, correct?”

  “I suppose so. But really, Brynna, I'm not the authority in this matter. I barely believe in...”

  “And if that is how they return to their Creator, then it is a sacred, necessary journey. One cannot be sacred without it.”

  “If you say so.” She told me gently. “This is a strange conversation to be having at a time...”

  “So, did they tell you that we are all immortal?”

  Her skin went pale. Her brown eyes widened, and her hands flew up to move her hair away from her face once again.

  “I try not to think about that.” She whispered, and her eyes stayed glued to the floor. With a pang in my chest of the terror provoked in me by awkwardness, I saw that two tears had streamed down her face, which she promptly wiped away.

  “You want to die? See, I was right. It is a hiccup in the plan of the faithful, which is how I meant to phrase that statement the first time.”

  “No, it's not that.”

  “It is not what? I am surprised you followed along.”

  She furrowed her brows at me, trying to decipher if I was insulting her, which I was, for no other reason than that I was tired of our conversation and uncomfortable with all that had occurred. A forty-something year old woman who appeared to be strong-willed and dedicated to her children reminded me of another, and that particular woman's face had finally blotted out of my mind completely. Although I sometimes missed seeing my mother's beautiful, barely-aged face, I knew that it was for the best that I did not remember. The guilt had given way to numbness, and that numbness was like a silent death. It ate away at me without my knowledge, never allowing me to know how far it had etched into my being until it was too late to stop it.

  But since she was gone, I thought that I could let go of all the fear I had felt. For so long, I had thought that at any given moment, my grief and guilt would end my life, or at the very least, steal away my sanity. But that did not seem to be a plausible scenario any longer.

  “It's not that I want to die so I can return to my Creator, which would show me that everything I believed was truthful. It's not that at all. They told us that we're immortal, and they said that they didn't have the specific numbers yet, but that every year, they'd be...” Her hands grasped the diamond cross that hung around her neck absentmindedly, and I struggled not to scowl. “They would take a number of us, and...” She shook her head, “I don't know if they were going to exile us or kill us, but they said it would be random.”

  “And people are still going along with them? Astounding...”

  “People went along with all sorts of things on Earth. They're not all bad up there, Brynna. You are colder towards me now because you think that I'm looking down on your way of life, or that I think you all are evil. You think I believe all they've said, but I don't. Believe me, I don't.” She grasped my hand again, and I cringed visibly; her touchiness was beginning to aggravate me. It motivated my need to run away.

  “Your father...” She started to say.

  As my gaze turned to a glare, the ice turned to fire. Red was staring back at her when she looked at me, and I expected her to scream, pull away, and run, but she did not. Instead, her grip tightened on my hand.

  “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. We don't have to talk about him...”

  “Are we having a walk and talk right now? Is this a therapy session slash Aaron Sorkin drama? What the hell are you doing right now?!” I hissed venomously. “God, you probably have no idea what I am talking about, and I do not care. Ma'am, I will set you up in a house near mine so you and your children will feel secure, and anything you need, you may ask my boyfriend or myself, but please know that I will not pay you in secrets. You 'shrinks,' as my sister calls you, were paid in an abundance of money on Earth, and that money was y
our prime objective, but the second was to learn other people's weaknesses. You will come to know me during your stay here, and you will discover over that time that if there is one thing I hate, it is weakness. I would strongly suggest that you not attempt to seek out mine, as I have very few, and the ones I do have are nearly impossible to find.”

  Her smile was not malicious, but rather, calming. Her eyes were alight with concern for me, and tears of sadness brimmed there, though what provoked that minimal level of despondency in her was unclear to me. Those in the mental health profession were not supposed to show emotion, but there she was, not just showing it proudly but wielding it expertly.

  “Brynna...” Her grip tightened on my hand. “I already found one. But it's not weakness. It's not...”

  “Thank you so much.” I cut her off again. “Wait here.”

  I opened the door to Adam's room and shut it quietly so as not to wake him. Our visit had to be quick, because I knew that James would not take kindly to me spending time alone with him after what I had admitted the night before. Savannah was right outside the door, and I could swear that I heard her sniveling. My heart plummeted first as I realized that I would more than likely have to apologize for the brusque tone I had taken with her. But really, who did she think she was? I had saved her life and her dignity by stopping Don. I had prevented her from being forced to submit to his agonizing interrogation techniques. Now, she had questioned me from the moment she had gathered her wits back, insulted my way of life, suggested that we were all fools for following Don, and most offensively, said that we looked to him as our god.

  I knew that I was not wrong to have helped her escape Don's wrath, and I would continue to aid her integration into our society, but after that, we would go our separate ways. The last thing I needed was another pesky shrink asking questions with no intention of actually helping me, if I needed help, which I did not.

  My forehead came forward to rest against the door, and I closed my eyes. For a good long while, I stayed still, focusing on my breathing, trying to keep it steady, struggling to control the unwarranted anger the sight of that woman's face made me feel. It was not her fault that she reminded me so much of my mother. It was not her fault that I had very little respect for her profession. The only fault I could possibly attribute to her in fairness was the side she chose when the time had come to choose; her association with the Bachums was a sufficiently sizable dark spot on her record.

  I sighed heavily and placed both of my hands on the door, thanking God that no one could see this new, strangely effective way I was dealing with my tumultuous emotions...

  “If you are in need of rest, I can gladly make room for you here in this bed.”

  I jumped and even exclaimed in surprise. By the time I whipped around to face him, I was livid.

  “Why didn't you say anything?!”

  Studying me over the top of his reading glasses, he smiled and closed the book that was rested in his lap.

  “I was confused and fascinated, watching you, my strong, beautiful warrior queen, as you behaved naturally. I do so love your acts, but when you drop all pretense, it is truly wondrous to behold.”

  “You sound like a Bond villain when you talk sometimes.”

  “A what?” He asked, and his face shifted easily from one of passive interest to one of slight bewilderment fused with nearly unquenchable curiosity.

  “James Bond was a very famous spy from popular novels, but he was more well-known from the many film adaptations of those novels. His was one of the longest-running film series, if not the longest-running.”

  “And the villains he faced eloquently wooed their breathtaking love interests with observations on their most beguiling behavior?”

  “Smooth, Casanova.”

  “First I am a Bond villain, then I am Casanova. You are full of allusions to popular culture this evening, my dear. But if you continue in this way, I will begin to suffer a crisis of self; all of these different identities will muddle my mind in confusion.”

  “I sincerely doubt that.”

  Despite myself, I was smiling. My eyes searched around quickly for a chair into which I could allow my body to fall without pretense or grace. Finding none, I had no choice but to sit on the edge of his bed, which caused his annoyingly arrogant smile to form without hesitation.

  “Do not get any ideas, you fiend.” I told him, “I am merely here to check on you and to ask for your assistance in a matter that requires your authority.”

  “Well, I may act like I am unwell so you will stay by my side but then, I remember very clearly my delusional ramblings about how you must return to James Maxwell.” His eyes met mine, and when he spoke again, there was not a hint of his former tone of jesting. There was only grave seriousness now. “They were just that, Brynna. Delusional ramblings, I mean.”

  “Wow.” I raised my eyebrows and sighed. “You really went there quickly.”

  “I did. I cannot allow my fondness for you to guide my actions, for it will lead me towards you when I should be staying away. You know why I must stay away?”

  “You explained it.”

  “And what did I say?” He asked me.

  “You said that if we were together, a brash, bright-red target would be painted squarely on my back.”

  “Those were not my exact words, but yes. And I will not see your life in danger. After what happened in the forest with the Old Spirits, I have seen a small fraction of the harm that will befall you if you were mine.” He leaned forward slightly, his tone imploring. “I have had much time during my recovery to think on this and to decide exactly what words to say. I have settled on these: You are intelligent, powerful, and beautiful in every sense. There are others for you, Brynna. There are others who are strong and good and who will care of you...”

  How could I not scowl darkly at him for saying that?

  “I do not need anyone to take care of me. I appreciate all that you have just said, but James and I have resolved our issues, and you knew that we would, Adam.”

  “Yes.” He replied dismally with a slight nod. “But I did so hope that you would find another.”

  “Over the course of one night? My stars, am I Aphrodite? Do I attract men as though they are metal and I possess a magnetic pull? Also, if I jumped from man to man in such a way, what would that say about me?”

  A small smile, one that quite paradoxically betrayed his distress and not any semblance of happiness one would normally expect when someone smiles, formed on his lips. His hand reached out to touch my face, and before it reached me, I had resolved to pull away. But the second that his wonderfully rough palm was pressed to my smooth cheek, I was intoxicated. My own hand flew up to cover his, and my eyes blinked only when absolutely necessary, even though my eyelids were hanging lazily. I did not want to blink, as I was looking at his handsome face; looking at him was the salvation of my heavy, tired eyes; his face was the cooling, endless stream of water I had so wished for while we were struggling to survive out in the woods for those three dreadful, agonizing days...

  “You saved my life,” He whispered, “despite how little you thought of me. You do not have that same unfavorable opinion of me anymore, do you, Brynna?”

  I shook my head and said, “Of course not.”

  “I am glad. I can never repay you. But I can protect you. If he so much as looks at you in a way with which I am displeased, I will end him.” His tone had intensified; I could hear how very serious he was. There was no mistaking his threatening tone, and there was no doubting that he would make good on that threat should James give him a reason to do so.

  “You will not have to hurt him.” I told him firmly, “Adam, I can handle him. I appreciate your concern, and I am comforted by your willingness to protect me, but I can take care of myself. You know that, don't you?”

  “Yes. Of course I know that.” He grinned, “You are my warrior queen, after all. Without your quick thinking and fighting skill, we would both be dead.” He let go of my face an
d the flushing of my cheeks evaporated instantly. I must admit, I was a little disappointed to be thrust back into the frigid reality.

  “It is cold in here.” I told him, “Do you want me to start the fire?”

  “What I want is for you to crawl in here with me.”

  I forced myself to scowl at him.

  “The fire works as well. I am sorry for behaving in such an ungentlemanly manner, Brynna. Now that I am feeling better, I must keep these thoughts to myself again.” I could feel him watching me closely as I bent over to stoke the fire. “I am behaving like an adolescent boy, which I have not been in many, many years. You must forgive me.”

  “There is nothing to forgive. All men are scoundrels, essentially, and I have grown to accept that in most cases, the quality is merely a harmless annoyance. I am annoyed frequently and have grown very skilled at dealing with such an unpleasant feeling.”

  “We are not all scoundrels. Do you think me a scoundrel, truly? A scoundrel?!” He asked, and I laughed somewhat hysterically because of how shocked he was by the assertion. “You are laughing at my pain. I am truly insulted.”

  Despite knowing that our antics were against the new keeping-distance policy upon which we had silently agreed, I laughed. James and I had reconciled, and he was the only man I truly loved, but Adam was slowly winning a prominent place of fondness and respect in my scarcely populated heart. Our relationship had changed drastically and in a blink; it had taken relying only on one another to reach the level we were at presently. Yes, he had started the war, but I trusted that he had a reason. Yes, he had allowed Don to behave in ways that had led to deaths and suffering both told and untold, not to mention the moral degradation of our entire community, but honestly, that was not even his fault. I would have been complaining even more about him if he had assumed the role of tyrant and forced us to submit to his will. Yes, he had wanted to take me from my family, but in the same way that James had not handed me over, he had not forcibly removed me from their lives and kept me for his own. In fact, I believed with certainty that his continued prodding of James was only a method used to gauge how deeply James's feelings for me ran and how strong his loyalty truly was.

  To sum all of that up with conciseness that is now too late to count for much, my loathing of Adam seemed to be completely unwarranted suddenly. After all we had overcome, I could no longer hate him. Even after we had almost gambled away any chance we would ever have at coexisting harmoniously with one another (which would have been the case, had we copulated, I mean), I could not hate him, even though hating him would be much easier than harboring such complicated, complex, completely undecipherable feelings for him.

  “You think I am a scoundrel. What am I to make of this? Do I wear this designation proudly, or do I change my crooked ways?”

  “Would you prefer for me to call you a dog?”

  “No. I suppose not. What is it that I can do for you, my dear? Also, and more importantly, how are you feeling?”

  “I am in pain. What I need...”

  “Yes, I can see that you are barely able to stand up straight. Come here, and I will fix that.”

  “I appreciate it, but that is not a good idea.”

  “I will force myself to stand so that I can come to you, if you are going to be stubborn.”

  I knew that he was not bluffing, so I walked from the fireplace over to him and sat down where I had been sitting before. He gestured for me to turn around, and I turned my head on the side and frowned at him, a movement and expression he immediately mocked. Scowling only slightly, I turned around so that my back was to him, and when his hands began to massage my shoulders, warmth spread from the spots he was touching throughout my body until it had consumed every inch of me slowly. I was reminded of that day when he had healed my broken wrists so delicately, barely with my knowledge that he was doing so. The warmth of his healing power resonated most profoundly in my shoulders and neck, and within a few short seconds, I was able to move them both freely.

  “I cannot stand that I left these bruises on you. Your shoulders look terrible.”

  “Well, they are better now. And besides, you did not do it knowingly.”

  “I still cannot believe that you carried me while I was unconscious. It is not that I doubt your willpower; you have shown me many times that your spirit is that of a most fearsome tempest, chaotic yet determined, violent yet cleansing.”

  Even though my back was turned, I bit my bottom lip when, together with the top, it tried to turn upwards at the corners. I would not smile. I would not smile.

  “You are so very poetic today.”

  “Yes. I have been given copious amounts of slumber root. When my mind fogs, I can focus on my courting skills.”

  “Well, I thank you for your very imaginative and verbose compliment, Adam.”

  He chuckled softly and planted a soft kiss on my shoulder.

  “And I accept your gratitude joyfully, my dearest Brynna. I know that it was nothing short of your most unshakeable determination that allowed you to summon the strength necessary to carry me. Believe me when I say that I owe you more than my life. Even the most dedicated of my people would have given up when I lost consciousness. They would have left me to die simply because there was nothing else that could be done. Anything that you need, please do not hesitate to ask. And you do need something. You told me that you had a favor to ask. What is it?”

  “I need to meet with the leader of this group.”

  “Oh, Janna. Yes, you two will get along very well. Your natures are very similar. She is more than likely awake and will soon be on her way here to see me. Well, she is likely awake; she does so love to sleep until noontide.”

  “I would wait, but that is the other part of my request. You know about the woman and two children whom we rescued up at the base of the mountain.”

  “They were mentioned to me by your lusting leader. Well, the woman was. He was immediately infatuated with her, which I am sure motivated his immediate imprisonment of her.”

  “More than likely.” I agreed, “I stumbled upon him engaging in his typical degenerate ways, to say the least...”

  “Did he manage it, or did you stop him in time?” He asked, and his jaw clenched. I sensed that if Don had actually harmed the woman, he would be hearing an earful of choice terms and mild threats from Adam. Knowing how much Don feared Adam, I could not help but smirk. Luckily, Adam was not looking at me, but rather, reaching out slowly to grasp the silver cup on the nightstand beside him. When I saw that reaching his arm out that way was paining him, I leaned forward, grabbed the cup, and handed it to him.

  “Thank you, my dear.”

  “You are welcome. No, he did not manage it. However, he did submit her to an interrogation that was even more pointless than the one he forced Maura to endure.” I cleared my throat nervously upon mentioning Maura's name, and continued speaking quickly to cover up my emotional hiccup. “What I need for you to do is keep Don away from her. This woman has been through many hardships here of late. She was exiled from the Bachum camp, her husband died while they and the rest of the outcasts were struggling to survive in a cave, and then, I find her and her children, promise the latter safety, and Don pulls his barbarism act.”

  “It is not so much an act anymore these days, I am afraid.” He was once again reaching out, this time to place the cup back on the table, and again, I aided him, all the while thinking that I did not want to spend even a moment contemplating the resounding truth of his statement. What it meant for us in the present and what it would mean in the future were two mental paths down which I did not want to stray, not when I was still very tired and suffering from mild trauma after all that had occurred in the woods. A rapturous chill twisted around my spine and tightened as I contemplated even beginning to decipher the implications of what Adam had proclaimed. For a moment, I shuddered visibly. When Adam encased me in his embrace, the chill, only half way complete, stopped immediately, and whatever premonition I was meant to und
erstand faded before it had even come clearly into view. I was not angered by being unable to see; I was relieved, and without hesitation, I turned my head so it was rested underneath of his, expecting James to come bursting in at any moment, engage in a violently vitriolic argument with Adam that might descend into a primitive physical altercation, before storming out, vowing never to return into my life. But my heart told me kindly that James was otherwise preoccupied with something involving Janna, whom I had never met but recognized by her essence that was, as Adam had said, very similar to my own.

  “I did not mean to upset you.” Adam told me softly. “I am very sorry.”

  “No. I have to start learning to steel myself to these things. It is very strange, Adam; sometimes, the things people say, if they are profound and actually mean something for our futures, force me into this strange space where I feel these odd sensations and think these elaborate, almost labyrinthine thoughts; no matter which way I turn, I find another long corridor densely populated with strangeness and possibilities. That is actually the most apt description I have ever been able to compose. Your poetic tendencies are infectious.”

  “I am very glad. Your kind was always adept with words until it came time for them to describe what it was like to be able to See. It is mistakenly called the 'subtle power' because it is not obvious to anyone but the wielder. But by the one God, I could not carry the burden. I am unsurprised that you can, but I could not. The ones whom I knew all those years ago would dream the terrible events that would soon transpire. They would be stricken with dread shortly before something tragic came to pass, knowing that they could not stop it. It is a terrible burden, and I wish that it was not you who had to carry it.”

  “But I can, Adam.”

  “Yes. I know that. But just because you can does not mean that I do not worry about you. As I have said before, both here and elsewhere, anything you need from me, you will have it.”

  I nodded, and leaned back to rest my head against his.

  “Can you tell me a way to sleep through the night that does not involve the use of natural narcotics?”

  “I knew that you looked very tired. You are unable to sleep?

  “Yes.” I replied softly, knowing that divulging those details proved my weakened state but continuing to divulge them despite that. “I slept last night for two hours at most, and then the nightmares started. Adam, they are worse than any I have ever experienced before this. One of them felt like a vision, but it could not have been. The other was just a reliving of what happened with the Old Spirits. I mean, there were inconsistencies, like the fact that Ray was not actually a Reaper, but...” I shook my head, biting my tongue to keep from saying what I said next. But the warmth of his touch and the complete soothing of my rapidly moving, frantically shrieking anxieties provoked me to continue.

  “I feel like something is damaged in me, Adam. I feel... different. Strange. Stranger than I am usually, I should say.”

  “Have you told James what happened?”

  I shook my head.

  “I can't.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don't know.” I shrugged almost compulsively, feeling that ominous tightening in the back of my throat and tears rushing into my eyes. “Something feels disjointed, or lost. It is not a matter of what he did. It is not a matter of me loving him; I do, of course I do. It's that I can't stand for anyone to know what happened, even him. Even him, to whom I should be able to tell these things. I just don't understand this, Adam. Nothing happened. I honestly think that I am losing my mind or being dramatic. It must be one of the two.”

  “Something did happen. You were attacked brutally and mercilessly. That disgusting man almost did to you what you fear the most. He terrified you. You know it. I know it. But that is nothing to be ashamed of, my darling. Anyone would have been terrified. Anyone would suffer repercussions long after he or she reached safety.” He pulled away from me and lifted my head gently so my eyes could meet his. “You are neither going mad nor exploiting sympathy through melodramatic means. You are not damaged. You are not different. You are, for once, completely normal.”

  I could not help but beam brightly at that. He smiled, too, and held his lips to my forehead for a prolonged, warm kiss.

  “Everything is going to be alright. In no time, you will feel none of this. Or at the very least, you will feel a small, almost unnoticeable fraction of it. I promise you.”

  I nodded and leaned forward so my head could rest comfortably under his for the third time.

  “I know that you are right. You know that from here on out, we are going to have to stop this.” I told him delicately, “We have no choice but to...”

  “We have a choice, my dear. There are always choices. With age, you will come to see that clearly. Perhaps it is trite, but choices do so often break down into two distinctive paths: One that is easily traveled and one on which you must crawl and fight and bargain precious possessions, both worldly and otherwise, to survive. I need not tell you on which path you and I will be traveling if you left James and came to me, and I have made clear to you that I will not see you in danger that way again.”

  I looked up at him, my heart pounding so powerfully against the wall of my chest not in a desperate plea to stop me from saying the words that brimmed on my lips but in recognition of the fact that once they were said, they could not be taken back. They were heavy, weighted with a significant meaning that could not be denied. If I said them, and if we allowed them to be recognized in reality, then everything would change.

  Still, I said them.

  “What if I want to be in that danger, Adam?” I whispered, “What if I am alright with it if it meant that you and I...”

  I stopped and closed my eyes for a much-needed moment of blank, empty solace; seeing his face would make me say many more dangerous things. I loved James, and would not leave him, but those raging, screaming, overall completely violent feelings that I had for Adam were stronger than I ever could have realized at the time. They are still baffling in their intensity, even today. They had bloomed to effervescent life without a shuddering gasp, nor had they struggled to survive their first hours; they were born from the earth and lived in the glorious Pangaean sunshine, breathing Her precious, crisp air steadily, without difficulty or pain. It was so dangerous, to change from feeling nothing but the deepest loathing to such tremendously powerful feelings of the deepest affection.

  “You cannot be alright with it,” He told me softly, “You cannot, because you do not know it. If you knew the danger you would face, we would not be engaging in this discussion. My dearest love, you must forget this idea. You must. My envious nature consumed me briefly earlier when I spoke of James, and for that, I do apologize. I must stop discouraging you from seeing him.”

  “Adam, I love him. I do not want you to think that my feelings have lessened for him; he is still, to put it very childishly, my first love, and obviously, the greatest I have ever had. I cannot begin to describe to you how much I love him. There are no words for it. But it is complicated now, whereas before, it was not. I did not question it. But after what you and I experienced out there, with those terrible people...” I looked up at him, “Can you tell me with absolute honesty that our fight with the Old Spirits, and our joint quest for survival, or whatever you would like to call it, did not bring us closer? Can you say and believe wholeheartedly that things are the same between us as they were before all of this?”

  “Of course not, Brynna. How can you suggest that I would ever be able to say something so profoundly untrue?” His eyes flashed with mild aggravation, but I did not flinch. I knew that his greatest feeling was not anger but hurt. He was just like me in the way that he would not admit when his feelings had been scorned. He preferred, just like me, to pretend that they did not exist.

  “I was not suggesting that.” I told him calmly, “I was asking you a question, which your outburst has answered sufficiently.”

  “Did my unconscious answer sway you aw
ay from this idea of you and me?”

  “It did not, but I need no swaying. I am devoted to James and always have been. I wanted you to know, for your own sake, that I do feel something for you. If I did not, we never would have gotten as far as we did, if you catch my drift.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “‘Catch my drift?’”

  “Yes.”

  “It means ‘if you understand what I am saying.’ Generally, it is used when what someone is saying is taboo or awkward, though those two qualities are so often linked; this instance is an example of that.”

  “I see. And what are you saying?”

  “You and I know perfectly well to what I am alluding. If you want me to move on and forget about it, then do not make me say it.”

  “Ah, yes. I understand now. I will only say this in regards to that wondrous encounter...”

  “Oh, it was wondrous.” I murmured sarcastically, with a roll of my eyes.

  “...It has been hundreds of years since my desire for a woman has been so strong, and your beauty astounded me, Brynna. Your bravery astounded me. If this were another world...”

  “Don’t say it.” I pressed my hand to his lips. “I know.”

  Now I was the one who kissed his cheek.

  “If you need anything, do not hesitate to send someone after me.” I told him, “I am at the end of the path, in one of the larger houses.”

  “I know where you are, Brynna. Your location was the first piece of information I required when my wits had returned to me. I do not like you being so far down the path, but the ash circle prevents them from getting inside, so I do not have to worry. Besides, you are my warrior queen. Why would I worry?”

  “Who is this mysterious 'them'? That pronoun is eerie, to say the very least.”

  “They are none of your concern just yet. They might not ever be. Rest assured, my dear, that you will be very well taken care of here, and that you and all whom you hold dearly, including this new woman and her children, will be protected.”

  “I do not hold her dearly, Adam, I simply...”

  He gave me a look that called me on my lies, and I raised my eyebrows at him.

  “I am sorry, but to say that I hold her dearly is simply an inaccurate, misleading statement! I am merely concerned for her...”

  “Well, then, all those for whom you are merely concerned will be protected.” He told me, “By the one God, woman, you are beguiling!”

  “By the one God, man, you are aggravating.”

  “Am I?”

  “Yes! Now, get well soon so you can continue to aggravate me out there in the world. Besides that, everyone is already growing restless. A counter-strike on the Bachums is a course of action wanted by all. This time, from what I have gathered, we want to meet them out in the open. Both sides will arrive at one place and fight.”

  “That will never work, and you know it. The Bachums are cowards.”

  “Yes. But Don is, as well. Meeting in one place does not show bravery. It shows foolishness, chiefly, but also, a will to end this war that is so strong, he is willing to compromise lives in return for a swift end.”

  “You are right, and I will discuss this with him when he returns here today.” He smiled up at me with a mischievous glint to his eyes.

  “What is it, Adam?” I asked through a slightly exasperated but very good-natured sigh of expectation.

  “I just wanted to say congratulations on your promotion. I believe that you will be a most valuable asset to our team.”

  “Thank you. I know that I will be.” I looked down at the old, worn leather cover of the book he had been reading. The gold letters were faded to a point that I could not read them, and I found myself wondering quite intensely what he, the leader of the free people of Pangaea, enjoyed reading.

  “Before I go,” I said, “What are you reading?”

  “Observe the first line, and you will be able to tell me immediately.”

  He opened the book, which gave a delightful creak and seemed to visibly cough dust. When I read the first line, I gasped and grasped my chest.

  “That is Great Expectations! Where in the world did you get this?”

  His wicked smile and the light in his eyes only intensified, and I frowned jokingly at him.

  “You are not going to reveal your sources.”

  “Of course not.” He pulled me forward gently so he could tenderly kiss my cheek. Before he let me pull away, he whispered in my ear, “I know of your powers of avoidance. I need something that will make you come see me.”

  I laughed softly and pulled away, stopping for a moment before I walked away to touch his face.

  “Things are going to be different between us from here on out, Adam.” I told him gently, “I am going to start keeping my distance.”

  “Yes. But I'd bet my friend, Charles...” He held up the book, “…that you will still find reason to visit. Until then, my dear Ms. Olivier.”

  Though I know he did not mean it, I could not help but feel a pang of terrible sadness upon hearing him use my full name to address me. He saw that he had stung me, and he kissed my hand before I left, but I could not shake the feeling of finality that suddenly took hold. Though I had been the one to say that things would return to how they had been before our long-winded quest to return home, I hated that he had so willingly agreed. After I had left his room, and returned to Savannah, that feeling continued to prickle most uncomfortably in my stomach. Comprehending his reasoning behind saying it was easy: He was not only going to create physical distance between us but an emotional distance, as well. There had been nothing cold in his tone, which showed that perhaps he was unwillingly putting that space between us... But we needed to stay away from one another, I knew that beyond any doubt...

  “Are you alright?” Savannah asked me gently.

  Her voice cruelly pulled me from the space where I could ponder over what to her would be considered a mundane return to social protocol, but then, she would not know that it was a return, as she did not know mine and Adam's newly established bond...

  “I am fine.” I said icily, “You will be fine, as well. Adam is the most powerful man in our group, as he is the most powerful man on this planet. The leader of this particular tribe will gladly set you and your children up with housing. I am sure that you will all be assigned a job.”

  “Am I living close by to you?”

  My brows furrowed, and I wondered how her proximity to me could be important. When she saw that I was confused, she quickly began to elaborate.

  “It's just that you've been very kind to me and to them, and I would feel comfortable having you close by.”

  “This is kindness?” I asked incredulously, “God or Gods, what do they do to you poor souls up there in that camp?” I shook my head, my face contorted into an expression of complete confusion, and began to walk away.

  “Are you alright?” She asked me again.

  In the greatest irritation, I rolled my eyes.

  “If you had not already told me your profession, I would guess either therapist, which would be correct, or journalist, as you have a tendency to ask too many questions. Although, I did know a journalist once…” My heart somehow surged and plummeted at the thought of her, “Unlike most, though, she just listened. People talked, and somehow, she retrieved from them what she wanted to hear, sometimes without uttering a word. But then, she was brilliant.”

  “And I am not brilliant?”

  “You said it, I did not.”

  “I'm sorry.” She said, though she did not sound like she was. “Asking questions is an old habit I can’t seem to break. Plus, I'm a little concerned about you. No offense, but you look very tired.”

  “I am very tired, but as we have only just met, there is no reason for you to care about that.”

  “Would you like to talk about him?”

  I startled visibly, and actually stumbled over my words in my hastened attempt to answer with enough scornful warning. By the time my b
rain sent the signal to my legs to stop walking, my eyes had turned red. By the time I whipped around to face her, I was trembling.

  “There is nothing to talk about in regards to him!” I hissed in nothing short of the most venomous rage. “Nothing, do you understand?!”

  “Yes.” She said timidly. “Yes; I'm sorry.”

  “You saw nothing. Rather, you did see me in his room, but I was only in there for ten minutes, at most. Do you understand what I have just said? Do you understand that those are instructions?”

  “Yes.” She nodded, “Brynna, I'm sorry... I didn't mean to offend you.”

  “Do not...” My voice was shuddering now along with my body, and I could feel the red of my eyes darken to the color of blood, “Ask me questions. Do not ‘shrink’ me.” I raised my voice to a tone of condescending cheerfulness. “Thank you so much!”

‹ Prev Next ›