by T. Rudacille
***
“What is this fucking bullshit through which you fucking savages are putting these innocent kids?!” Brynna was screaming at James, Joe, Rael, and Don. “Don, we never agreed to this! We never talked about this! Christ, if we had put this shit on your fucking posters, we wouldn’t have gotten two-hundred innocent people, mostly young people, wanting to train under this band of despicable sadists!”
Brynna was holding Alice’s hair back, and when Alice finished vomiting into the basin that Brynna was holding with her other hand, Brynna laid her back on the couch and covered her up. Violet was in front of me, trying to coax me into drinking some ginger ale, still in her white doctor’s coat, because she had run home from work to assist Brynna in caring for Alice and me. Nick was rushing the basins of vomit out of the room, a scarf tied around his nose and his eyes trained steadfastly forward so he didn’t look at it.
“Brynna, this is what they’ll experience if they’re captured, or if they end up getting promoted to Deep Cover, and they go into the Old Spirit camp…”
“Oh, this fucking Deep Cover bullshit again!”
“She is so pissed.” I heard Joe mutter to James in horror. “How many ‘fucks’ is that?”
“I lost count.” James said, “Don’t whisper, she’ll…”
“Yes, I will hear you! And I, too, have lost count of the number of times I have said ‘fuck.’ I do apologize for my profanity; two people for whom I care very deeply are vomiting blood! They were forced to inhale that root and tumble around in the dark, and now his…” She pointed at me, “…shoulder is dislocated, and he has two cracked ribs! Is this how you think you are going to win soldiers, you fucking morons?! This is not preparation; this is torture! If they are captured, do you honestly think this preparation is going to help them at all?! Just because they have experienced the effects of these drugs does not mean that they will be able to fight them off. There is no preparing for that! And what is this I hear about you breaking people’s ribs and hands and legs and whatever else, James Maxwell?! And why is Augustus having you tie people to chairs so he can beat the shit out of them?! I suppose the blanket question with which I should have prefaced this whole tirade is ‘why the fuck are all of your enlistees spending every night in the fucking infirmary?!’”
“Brynna.” James tried to say, “Baby, that’s enough.” 0
“Get. Out.” She said slowly, her throat crackling from how loud she had yelled. “I will go see Adam in the morning so I can put a stop to this.”
“Brynn, it’s the only way for them to know what it’s going to be like out there. And when I administer these drugs to them, it exposes them to what it’s like. Wouldn’t you rather that happen to them for the first time in a safe environment, where I can put a stop to it if need be, rather than having them experience it for the first time on the Lapsarian?”
“Oh, the goddamn Lapsarian. You boys and your obsession with that monster ship. If they take over, which they will not, then I will worry about the goddamn Lapsarian. When they are walking me onto their prison ship, and I am surrounded by one thousand of their most bloodthirsty criminals, I will worry about it. Until then, I would appreciate it if I did not have to hear its name every five minutes. It doesn’t matter. Just leave. All of you. I will sort this out in the morning when I go see Adam.” She turned Alice back over the basin after Alice made a dry-heaving sound, and Alice vomited again.
“Brynn…” She cried when it was over, and I was throwing up in my own basin. When I came back out of it, Alice’s head was in Brynna’s chest, and James was kneeling beside them, rubbing Alice’s back.
“Brynna, it’s nonnegotiable, alright?” James snapped at her, “I’m staying to help you with them. You can’t afford to miss any nights of your sleep when you’re still recovering. I’ll stay, and Violet and I will take care of them, okay?”
“So, Violet will be losing her sleep when she needs to be in her classes before dawn?”
“Brynn, it’s fine. I’m not going to be able to sleep anyway.” She turned her attention back to me, and I took a tiny sip of the ginger ale again.
“You and your friends are so stupid, James! This is utterly ridiculous! You can bet whatever it is that you value in this world that I will be bringing this issue to the Council tomorrow.”
“Baby, I know it’s hard. I hate seeing them like this. I hate seeing all these kids like this. But this has to be done!”
“You are out of your fucking mind if you believe that, James! You are so stupid if you believe that! You are just drinking the Kool-Aid, as they say. And why? So you can have an outlet for your excess testosterone? So you can exhibit your brutish fighting skills? So you can show off? ‘Look at me, I’m a big, strong man; I can beat the shit out of kids more than half my age.’ You are fucking pathetic.”
“Alright. Fine. Why don’t you just stop talking?”
“Excuse me?! You are in my house, and you are going to listen to me insult you, because you need to hear it! You are acting like an utter imbecile!”
Alice had fallen asleep, but her breathing was steady. I leaned back to lie on the pillow, and Violet dabbed off my forehead with a wet cloth.
“You are completely unrecognizable to me! I have no idea if this is who you are, or if you are the person with whom I fell in love, and you’re just going through a really fucking annoying mid-life crisis!”
“Alright.” James said, “Let’s just stop this right now, okay? Let them sleep. It’s what they need. That antidote should start kicking in here soon, and the fluids will start working. They’ll be able to sleep comfortably for a little bit. Then you can scream at me ‘til you’re blue in the face if you want. Just let them rest, baby.”
“Do not call me ‘baby.’ And I will not be shouting at you, because I will not be talking to you anymore. Please don’t talk to me either.”
“Alright. If that’s what you want, I won’t talk to you.”
“Thank you so much.”
“You are most welcome. Psycho.”
Just before I dropped off to sleep, I felt my lips curl up into a smile.
“James…” I said, and he came over so he could hear me, “She’s… gonna… knife you… in your sleep… Watch out.”