by A. L. Moore
“Katy called you before good daylight,” she sighed. “That’s the third time this week.”
“Did she wake Daddy?”
She shook her head, “No, he was already in the fields, but that’s hardly the point. My stomach knots when the phone rings that early. It’s not how I like to start my morning.”
I finished the coffee quickly, though it scorched my tongue. Getting fussed at was not exactly how I liked to start my morning.
The chicken coop looked much neater than I was used to. Someone had cleaned. There were only six eggs today. After the last haul, I wasn’t surprised. Mama took the basket from me and headed back to the house while I squished through the mud to the big barn. It wasn’t as clean. I pushed the doors wide so the smell of manure wouldn’t be so overwhelming. Flies swarmed my legs while I shoveled out the mess in the stalls. I should’ve worn pants, but it was just too hot. By the time I finished, I’d grown used to the smell or grown one with it. I grabbed the heavy brush and stroked Adeline’s swishing tail. She grew still before stomping her leg and shaking her head. I felt like it was her equivalent to a stress releasing sigh. She was mine, more so than any of the other horses. They were all on my chore list, but Addy wasn’t so much a job.
We got each other, and she knew things even Katy didn’t know about me. She knew every time I’d snuck out of the house after curfew to meet up with Thomas, and when Thomas left, it was her smooth frame that kept me together. I knew her just as well, how she liked to be brushed, how much she liked sweet cereal, and that if her blanket was forgotten on a cold night, she was untouchable the next day.
The afternoon sun came in heated streaks through the slanted roof of the barn. I twisted my t-shirt into a knot and tightened my ponytail. It helped that it was windy. The wind rustled the stray hay hanging from the bales blowing it across the ground, but it never lasted long enough to stop the sweat on my neck. I let Addy, Arnold and Allendale out of their stalls and lead them to the front pen. They didn’t need me to find it. They made this same track every day. My returning customers, Michelle and her sister, Morgan, were already waiting with their mom. They’d paid for the next six months of lessons in advance. Half the money went back toward the horses’ upkeep. My half was still a nice chunk of change tucked safely beneath my mattress.
I really needed to look into a checking account before fall.
Michelle was big enough now to mount Allendale all by herself. He was a sweet horse but not as patient as Addy. That’s why I saved Addy for Morgan. Morgan was only five and just starting out. Last week had been the first lesson she’d actually ridden and not cried for her mama. I gave some standard instruction to Michelle, never taking my hand off Addy. Addy had never started without approval before, but stranger things had happened, and Daddy'd drilled me about lawsuits before he'd agreed to let me start giving lessons.
Morgan stayed on long enough for her mama to get pictures, and then was ready to get off. As soon as I helped her to the ground, she took off to the fence to pet the goats.
“Careful, Morgan. They’ll taste that sucker on your hand and mistake you for a snack,” I kidded as she giggled. Her mama didn’t get the joke, pulling her quickly out of the goats' reach. They weren’t farm people.
I took Michelle out to jump. It wasn’t really so much a jump as it was a high step, but her mama squealed with delight when she did it. It was a long forty-five minutes with no shade, and I was relieved when their Buick wasn’t blocking our drive anymore. Allendale and Arnold trotted back to the barn as soon as I opened the gate. I dumped out the warm, fly trapping water and replaced it with fresh. Addy was waiting on me when I got back. I adjusted her saddle into place and climbed on. Like breakfast this morning, I didn’t feel the need to rush. The wind swept the stray hairs away from my heated face as I rounded the house. Daddy smiled on his way up the back steps. I could feel another set of eyes on me too. I nudged Addy to go faster. Then, we were flying by the tall, swaying corn stalks and through the grassy field that led the way to the trees. I didn’t go as far as the river. I cut back to the left and headed toward the blinding haze that hid Katy’s house. Her golden retriever caught sight of me long before she did.
“I called you,” Katy yelled from the blanket where she read to John Tyler. He used her temporary distraction to slip away, running toward the tree house.
“Thanks for that,” I grimaced, slowing Addy. “Mama raked me over the coals this morning for your wake-up call.”
Katy was much cleaner than I was, and her pale-yellow sundress looked cooler too as if ruffled in the warm breeze. Babysitting wasn’t the best job but from the looks of it, it beat shoveling the barn.
“Sheesh, Breelynn,” she started, her eyes as round as saucers as her bare feet padded over to me. “You’re lucky I wasn’t banging on your front door!”
“Why?” I asked, quickly pulling on the reigns. I never dreamed Katy was calling about anything serious. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” She eyed me like I was harboring a national secret. Crossing her arms, she stated rather severely, “I know Thomas is at your house.”
“How…”
“Because I saw him get off the bus yesterday,” she cut me off. “I almost missed him. Mama and the boys had already gone into the theater, but that new usher made me go back to the car and unload my bag. Can you believe that? I mean, so what if butter was dripping out the bottom. It’s not like that burnt-orange carpet is clean.”
“Katy, you didn’t,” I grinned, picturing butter running down her legs as she argued with the poor usher. “What did you have in there?”
“Just some baggies of popcorn,” she said defiantly with a hand on her hip. “That pimply faced kid couldn’t have been more than fifteen. I should’ve dumped it on his head.”
“You went all the way back to the car for that?” I asked, pulling back on Addy who’d caught sight of a bumble bee. “Why didn’t you just throw it away?”
Her cheeks turned red, as she shuffled her feet like a child. “I might’ve had some candy bars, a couple of corndogs and a drink, too.” Her appetite never ceased to amaze me. “Don’t look at me like that,” she insisted. “It wasn’t all for me. Anyway, who cares about some stupid corn dog? What is it like having Thomas back?” She was practically bouncing. “Tell me everything. What did you say to him? What did he say to you?” She clutched at her heart dramatically like she might fall with a heart attack. “We can go on double dates now!”
I shifted my weight uncomfortably. Addy’s body seemed to have grown stiffer beneath me. “I wouldn’t make any reservations just yet.”
Her face clouded over as another breeze lifted her blond hair from her shoulders. “Oh no, what happened?”
“Nothing happened,” I muttered. “We shook hands and—"
“Shut the front door," she deadpanned, her eyes growing three sizes. "You shook hands?”
“It’s been years, Katy,” I explained, trying to sell her what I’d only recently bought myself. “We aren’t the same people anymore. He’s...different.”
“He didn’t look that different to me,” she said with the tilt of her head. A little scruffier maybe, but I thought it worked for him. He was probably just surprised to see you is all.” She was wrong, but I didn’t tell her that. It was hard enough to stomach the changes myself. He couldn't have been more different.
“Are you going to invite me over for dinner?” Katy asked, her face expectant.
“I was sort of hoping you'd ask me over,” I sheepishly admitted.
Now she was clearly accessing my mental state. “You want to eat here...with my family?”
I tried to make my smile look authentic, glancing back at my house. I could see Daddy’s hat, no bigger than the tip of my fingernail, moving in the yard. “Of course, I haven’t been over here in what, like weeks?”
“You can’t avoid him forever,” she sang with a knowing smile as she plucked a clover from the grass a
nd proceeded to tear the petals off one at a time. “And why would you want to?"
“There’s no one to avoid,” I sighed.
“Right,” she said, her dimple prominent as she fought a smile. She clearly didn't believe a word I was saying. “Doesn’t matter anyway. We're going to Granny’s for dinner. If you don’t save me, I’m destined for a pot of pintos and a pan of corn bread.” She made a disgruntled face, but steak wouldn’t have sounded any better to me right then. Anything sounded better than going home.
“What do you say,” she asked, still sounding encouraged. "Invite me over?"
“Tell your granny I said hey,” I called over my shoulder as Addy carried me back across the trampled wildflowers in the overgrown field.
The sun was just starting to set when I put Addy in the barn. She always seemed smug after a day of riding, holding her head high as she passed the other horses. I double checked the stable locks and peeked up at the kitchen window. It was bright and I couldn’t see any heads moving about. No doubt, they'd already started eating. I untied my shirt and trudged up the back steps. Everyone looked up when I walked in. I self-consciously smoothed my hair back, feeling the tangled mess the ride had left me with. Daddy and Thomas had clearly already showered and changed clothes. I glanced down at my riding boots. They were splatted with mud and much, much worse. There were even streaks of orange dirt across my thigh.
“Bree Bree stinks,” Jenny giggled, her face covered in spaghetti sauce as she attempted to twirl a noodle around her small fork.
“Yes ma’am,” Mama agreed. “She sure does.
“Where’ve you been, Breelynn? I rang the bell over an hour ago.”
Was she really scolding me for coming to dinner late? Had I stepped into a time warp? We'd barely managed to eat together at all lately and nowhere close to a reasonable time. “I went to see Katy."
“Well don’t just stand there tracking mud all over the place,” she frowned with the wave of her hand. “Take those boots off and go get a shower. I’ll save you some chicken.”
I trudged upstairs, barely glancing at the mess in the bathroom mirror that stared back at me before claiming the hot water. It took more than one scrubbing to get the grime out of my chipped nails. When I stepped out of the shower, the tub looked like I’d thrown Katy’s retriever in with me. I tucked the towel underneath my arm and washed the red dirt down the drain. I’d just started combing my hair when the door pushed open.
“My mistake,” Thomas said, his t-shirt drawing out the green in his eyes, which had widened infinitely. He took a cautious step back.
“The water’s turned off in my bathroom,” I said pointedly, gripping the towel closer to my chest. “There’s a leak.”
“I fixed it this morning,” he said, looking at me longer than he had since he’d arrived. I waited for him to close the door, but he waited too.
“If you’re finished here...” he started.
“Right.” Realizing I was blocking the door, I hurriedly stepped out of the way and walked quickly to my room, contemplating another shower. Humiliation was thicker than mud.
Chapter 5
I could hear the pelting sheets across my window before I opened my eyes. By now, the rain was a regular unwelcomed visitor. Until very recently, it was the only thing I'd hated to see coming. Now, watching it roll off the windowpane and disappear, I wished fervently I could join in its journey. There would be no escape today, not when the fields were sopping wet. Daddy would yell at anyone who started out, afraid they might trample the weak stalks struggling to stay upright in the soggy ground. Mama would have a fit too if mud was tracked in the house again. I rifled through my desk until I found a granola bar. The expiration had run out but only by a few weeks. I scarfed it down, envisioning syrup covered pancakes and crispy bacon. Damn Thomas for coming back here and making me a prisoner in my own house! It would've been one thing for him to be over me. I could’ve swallowed that...eventually, but what was with the brush off? No, brush off was the wrong word. He wasn’t brushing me off. He was nice, cordial even, like I was some old lady at the grocery store counting pennies. It had been nearly a week, and besides when I'd nearly flashed him in the bathroom, he hadn't given me a second glance.
The minutes felt like hours as I paced my room, my anger with Thomas growing with every step. What was I supposed to do, quarantine myself for the duration of his visit? Not likely. On the verge of waltzing out and reminding him exactly whose house he was staying in, a car engine started outside. Racing to the window, I saw Daddy. My life had meaning again. I tapped on the glass as I struggled into my raincoat, but he didn’t hear me. Racing across the room, I stuck my feet in my shoes, taking the stairs two at a time. The tailgate had all but disappeared by the time I flung the front door open. I wondered aloud if they’d taken Jenny.
“She had a doctor’s appointment,” Thomas's voice came from behind me, sending a tingle up my spine.
Turning around, I found him leaning into the doorframe of the kitchen already dressed for the day's work, down to the straw-colored cowboy hat on his head. He held a steaming cup of fresh coffee in MY mug. My cheeks burned as I struggled to get the stifling rain jacket off.
“Both of them went?” Usually, Daddy didn’t tag along on doctor check-ups. He didn’t even go half the time when they were for himself.
He nodded, watching me as he took another slow sip from the steaming mug. I could practically taste the rich flavor on my tongue. “The road is partially washed out, so your daddy thought it better if he drove.” He took a bite of buttered toast, reminding me of the expired breakfast I’d eaten that had done very little to stifle my angry stomach.
“Nice to be asked,” I muttered as I pulled the last sleeve of my raincoat from my arm and closed the door. I really needed a car. Heck, I’d have settled for a moped. Anything to get some distance from the eyes that were staring a hole through me.
Thomas smirked over my blue Smokey Mountain mug. That did it! “What?” I demanded, clinching my fists at my sides. “Do I amuse you?” He didn’t answer, taking another slow sip of what should have been my coffee. I started back for the stairs when I caught sight of my pink unicorn pajama shorts and tank top in the hall mirror. Good grief! They didn’t exactly go with the camo rain boots and raincoat. “I’d planned to leave the coat on,” I said stubbornly over my shoulder as I crossed my arms to cover my apparent braless state.
My angry tone didn’t affect him in the least. At least he didn’t look amused anymore. It was like I was the old lady in the grocery store again. I was too angry to be hurt by it this time. Halfway up the stairs, I stopped. This was my house! If he wasn’t going to talk to me, he was sure going to listen. The frustration carried me back down. He hadn’t moved an inch, his right boot crossed over his left.
“Thomas,” I started, taking a good look at the man who stared back at me.
Now that he’d shaved the light beard, that much to my dismay had made him even more attractive, I could make out the scar on his chin where he’d cut it fixing the tracker back before he’d taken off. I could also make out the small, brown specks in his eyes that kept them from being overtaken completely by the warm, hunter green. That color alone was summer in my mind. Looking at him now was like staring at a ghost. I could see the boy he had been. My eyes moved over every inch of him as if seeing him again for the first time, and I felt the breath leave my body. I don’t know how long I stood there staring at him, mouth agape, but it must have been longer than intended because it took him clearing his throat to jar me back to the present.
An amused smirk curved his lips as he waited for me to continue. For the life of me, I couldn't remember what I was going to say. Snapping my mouth shut, I stormed back to my dungeon and slammed the door.
There were so many things I wanted to say to him. I wanted to tell him how painful it had been each day since he'd left. That it had broken my heart to find his house empty without as much as a goodbye. He should know I never cared for anyone t
he way I did for him. That for months I waited for his call. I wanted to tell him so many things, but how could I say, "I love you," to a stranger?
I hid like a coward in my room until I heard the familiar crunch of daddy’s tires in the gravel drive. If my folks hadn’t come soon, I’d have gone out the window in search of sustenance. I headed straight for the kitchen. Waiting on the microwave was not an option. I peeled two left over chicken legs right off the bone and made a sandwich. The way my stomach was rumbling, it was going to take something heavy to quiet it.
“Thanks for leaving without me,” I said between dry bites. Mama was babying a pouting Jenny who had a bright pink Barbie bandage on her upper arm. Daddy was staring a hole through the kitchen window.
“Now why on earth would you want to go to Jenny’s checkup?” Mama asked, arching a brow as she peered at me over the shoulder of her beige blouse. The color nearly matched the speckled tan that colored her arms.
“Beats sitting around here,” I said, forcing down a hunk of bread.
She shook her head, turning back to Jenny with a scowl. “You know how crowded that clinic is. That’s the last thing we need, someone catching a bug and getting the whole lot of us sick.”
“I could’ve sat in the truck,” I pointed out stubbornly.
“It’s not like we abandoned you, Breelynn,” Daddy said without turning from the window. No doubt watching for any sign of the rain slowing. “Thomas was here.”
“Really?” I said, setting my plate on the counter. “I didn’t see him.”
It didn’t slip my attention that Thomas had stepped into the room. My parents would’ve never left me alone with him back before he'd moved. Daddy would’ve skinned him alive for even thinking about being alone with me, let alone in our own house. That was the only confirmation I needed that my Thomas was gone. Even my parents could see it.
“Rain is stopping,” Daddy said, tapping his cigarette pack on the counter, or packing the cigarettes as he called it. “I reckon I’ll go assess the damage.”