by A. L. Moore
I grabbed his hand and pulled him behind the barn. “I don’t care,” I said, pushing his back to the red siding. He grinned, lifting me off the ground, his sweat dampening my tank top as he hugged me tight.
There was nothing I liked better in the world than kissing Thomas. Katy had warned me that no kiss was as good as the first, but she’d clearly never kissed Thomas. Each time was better than the last. I couldn’t get enough of him. Just being wrapped in his arms was making my knees weak. As if he had some kind of superhuman radar that detects a spike in hormonal activity, Daddy's voice calling my name carried from the house. Thomas started to pull away, but I fisted his shirt in both hands and kissed him again. His hands circled my wrists, successfully breaking my hold.
"Bree, you trying to get me killed?"
Biting my lip, I studied his beautiful face as he peeked around the corner for Daddy. "I won't let him kill you," I said, grabbing his hat and taking a few steps backwards. "I'm not done with you yet."
"Come on now, Bree." He arched a brow, hedging closer, but I matched his every step moving further away.
"You want it back, cowboy?" I waved the hat in a come-and-get-it gesture before sticking it on my head. He stalked toward me like a lion ready to pounce his prey, with a mischievous smile stretching his full lips. Just before he was within an arm's reach, I made a mad dash for the fields, glancing back over my shoulder to be sure he was in pursuit. "Come and get it!"
His long legs overtook mine just as I entered the first few rows of vegetation. His arms wrapping my waist, we both tumbled to the soft ground. We were laughing, a little breathlessly, as he hovered over top of me, softly brushing my hair from my forehead. Before I could contemplate my next move, he kissed me in such a way I didn’t even notice he’d taken his hat back. That wasn’t the only thing I failed to notice. Daddy was closer. His voice was just a few rows away. I smiled against Thomas’s hand as it came to stifle my giggle. He acted like Daddy was going to shoot him dead on sight every time we were alone together. Of course, if he'd found us like this, he just might've.
“You’re crazy,” Thomas whispered, his breath tickling my ear as I squirmed beneath his hand. His eyes were mostly green today and wild with excitement as he stared at me in awe. I lived for that look. I tried to pry his hand away, needing the feel of his lips on mine, but he didn’t move his hand from my mouth. Instead, he started kissing my neck. Startled at first, I went rigid and my heart began to race like it might beat right out of my chest. What was he doing…and how did it feel so good? How did anything feel so good? His warm lips moved in agonizingly slow circles until I simply didn't care what he was doing anymore. When his lips inched back to mine, I could barely remember how to move them.
There was a new urgency to our touches that hadn’t been there before. I wondered if he felt it too. We stayed like that, drawing more heat from each other than from the sun as it slowly faded from the sky.
“I’ve got to get back to work,” Thomas finally said, inches away, breathless, as if he’d just realized the time. I moved my lips against his neck, trying to mimic his movements. It seemed to have a similar effect on him. “
Go on then,” I teased against his throat, feeling him shiver.
He chuckled, shaking his head and propping up in a plank pose above me. "You're going to be the death of me."
Unable to stop smiling, I leaned up and kissed his cheek promising to be good. He sighed with a I-don't-believe-you-for-a-second smirk before pushing off the ground and reaching back for my hands to pull me to my feet. We both seemed to notice his hat on the ground at the same time, but I was quicker. I was nearly to the barn when he caught up to me, his arms circled my waist and lifted me over his shoulder. My laughter echoed across the yard, interrupting the crickets' song. I didn’t have time to push him away. Daddy was waiting, and he was not amused, standing with his arms crossed, in front of the tractor. Thomas spotted him too and immediately put me back on my feet. It was then I noticed how dirty we'd gotten from lying in the field. I quickly combed my fingers through my hair, coming back with a corn silk as Thomas dusted off his t-shirt. For the first time in my life, I was scared of my daddy.
“I didn’t mean to be gone so long, sir,” Thomas said as Daddy stalked toward us with a deep scowl painting his face.
“It’s not his fault, Daddy,” I said quickly. “I made him take a break with me. I was bored.”
Daddy stopped in front of Thomas without acknowledging I'd said a word. Now that he was closer, I could see that he looked more worried than angry. I waited on pins and needles for him to rip us a new one, but the words that came out of his mouth were far from what I expected. “The police were here asking questions about the Tyners.
“Breelynn why don’t you go help your mama with supper.” I handed Thomas his hat, stalling for Daddy to continue. “Go on now,” Daddy said, waving me toward the house. He didn’t say anything else until I was out of ear shot. When I got inside, I saw that Mama had finished cooking, the rich scent of something fried filled the kitchen. She was sitting at the table, rocking the bassinet with her foot. Jenny fast asleep.
“Where were you?” she asked, her forehead drawn up into deep lines that made her look much older than her age.
“Just off with Thomas,” I shrugged, self-consciously dusting my shorts. Seriously, it looked like I'd brought more dirt in with me than I'd left in the field.
“Are the Tyner’s dealing drugs?” Mama didn’t beat around the bush.
I didn’t want to lie to her, but I wouldn’t betray Thomas’s trust. “Not that I’ve seen.”
She nodded, seeming to read through my carefully selected words. “Is Thomas involved?”
“No,” I said surprised that she’d even considered that. “Thomas would never do anything like that. Did someone say he was?” I didn’t know if she was shushing me or Jenny, but I sat down and spoke softer anyway. “Did the police say he was?”
“They were asking if we’d seen anything suspicious,” she explained, smoothing Jenny’s thin hair back. “I think the Johnson’s called.”
My eyes were stinging with anger. “Why would they do that?”
She reared back in her chair. “If they’re involved in drugs, the authorities need to know. The Johnsons are not the only ones who’ve called. The police said they’ve had several complaints about the traffic over there. They’ve been watching the house for some time. It sounds like they’ve gotten enough to take them in.”
Thomas! I jumped to my feet, the chair sliding noisily against the floor. She tried to stop me, but I was already going down the back steps before she reached the door. I didn’t see Thomas, or Daddy. I ran to the front yard, breathing a sigh of relief when I didn’t see a cop car in the drive. There was only the Tyner’s car. Agreement or no agreement, I had to talk to Thomas and be sure he knew how serious this was. He’d have to stay with us. It would probably take some convincing, but Daddy and Mama liked Thomas well enough, when he wasn’t touching me.
“Get in the house, Breelynn,” Daddy said sternly, surprising me from the porch where he stood with his strong arms crossing his chest in a way that told me not to argue.
“Is Thomas okay?” I asked, my eyes darting up and down the empty street. “I thought he was staying for supper.”
“He thought it better to see what was going on at home first,” Daddy said, holding the screen door open wide for me, the living room light filtering out onto the cement porch. “Now, come on in and eat. You’ll see him later.”
But I didn’t see him later. Thomas never came back, not for dinner or to the field that night. I watched the Tyner’s house from my bedroom window. The front of their house grew dark sometime before midnight, but I could see a glow from the back. That small light made me feel better, able to breath. It was probably Thomas sitting on the back steps. I wanted so badly to talk to him. I entertained the thought of making a sheet ladder like he’d teased me about, but I was too afraid of heights, and my sheets were rather
thin. The light in the back was still on when I finally closed my eyes for the night.
Only the birds were aware it was morning when I woke. The Tyner’s car was gone as I peeked out the curtain. I crept down the stairs, careful not to make too much noise. The grass was wet beneath my feet as I crossed the street. I didn’t dare look back. I knew Thomas would give me hell for coming over, but he’d just have to get over it. I went to his window first, tapping lightly and then harder, but no one came. The back of the house was dark, a broken picture frame was scattered down the steps and a paper blew across the ground. It was a bill of some sort. I let it go and ran back to the front porch. This time when I knocked on the door, it opened. “Thomas,” I said quietly, pushing the door back against the wall and turning on the light. Trash littered the floor so much that it took a minute before I realized everything was gone. The ratty old couch was there but not the television or the few pictures that’d been on the wall. All of the kitchen cabinets were opened and empty.
“Thomas!” I called louder, panic rising in my throat as my legs grew heavier. “Thomas!” I stepped over an empty dresser drawer to get to his bedroom. The door was open. The dresser drawers that weren’t pulled out on the floor were hanging open, empty.
It was fruitless, but I checked every room, barely able to see through the tears as the realization sunk in.
Thomas was gone.
Chapter 16
(Present)
An early morning at my house was nothing out of the ordinary, but after fuming over Thomas's cold shower reference for hours last night, I wanted so badly to bury my head beneath my pillow and catch a few more winks. Unfortunately, Katy’s mama had called early, having to be at work by nine, to light a fire under Katy, so she'd be home in time to babysit. Katy'd looked even worse than I had as she'd shuffled down the hall. She'd been up just as late gabbing about that stupid double date. The mental image of her with Drew was now permanently etched on my brain.
I had breakfast with a moody Jenny, eating her castaway Cheerios and staring absently out the window. If I closed my eyes even for a second, I was sure to doze off, and I couldn’t afford to do that this morning. Summer or not, Morgan and Michelle would be here in less than an hour, and I hadn’t even saddled the horses yet. I wiped Jenny’s sticky hands and set her up with some building blocks in the living room.
I buried my head in my arm when the back door opened, blocking out the deathly glare from the sun. It was too bright and too hot. My head felt almost as heavy as my eyes at the thought of having to go out in it. “Are you sick?” Daddy asked. I peeked at him from between my fingers as he washed his hands at the sink.
“Just tired,” I yawned, not moving my head from the cool tabletop.
“Did you have a good time last night,” he asked, taking a carton of milk from the refrigerator and pouring himself a tall glass. “That boy treat you alright?”
“It was fun.” I yawned, again.
“You think you might be seeing him again?” he asked, holding the milk in my direction. I shook my head, no, not bothering to tell him that Lucas had a girlfriend and that she’d be back by the week's end. “If that were to change, you know the rules.” He put the glass in the sink and came over to the table, his hands firm on the chair next to me. “I know you haven’t dated in a while.” That was the understatement of the century. “But now that you are going out again, the rule is, I get a sit-down before they take you out.”
Considering I was nineteen and about to start college, it seemed a little late in the game for such a rule, but I didn't want to hear an as-long-as-you-live-in-my-house speech, so I nodded my aching head in agreement. He brushed my hair out of my eyes, and I noticed Thomas leaning against the counter in jeans he'd clearly already been working in this morning and a damp t-shirt. I sighed heavily. Was it too much to ask for him to look bad for once? Even dirty, he looked like he was posing for a cowboy pin-up calendar.
“If dating is going to do this to you, maybe you shouldn’t make a habit out of it,” Daddy frowned.
“Marshal,” Mama scolded before she stepped through the doorway from the living room and saw me. Then, her mouth fell open. “Breelynn, you better run upstairs and comb your hair. Splash some water on your face before the girls get here. If their mama sees you like this. She’s liable to start taking them elsewhere.”
Thomas was sipping a cup of coffee, pretending to ignore our conversation, but not appearing in any real hurry to get back outside.
“You girls shouldn’t have stayed up half the night. I heard y'all when I started out at five this morning,” Daddy pointed out as he scooped fresh coffee into the filter.
“That was Katy,” I said, pulling the rubber-band from my hair.
“Don’t do that in here,” Mama swatted at me. “You’ll get hair all over the table.”
My chair screeched across the floor as I pushed away from the table and trudged upstairs. I put some concealer under my eyes and pulled my hair up into a messy bun. I could still pass for an extra in the Thriller video, but it was the best I could do without zonking out for a few hours.
Michelle was the only one who showed. Morgan was sick with a stomach bug. I tried to keep my distance from Michelle as much as possible. I felt bad for Adeline. I sure hoped the virus wasn’t contagious to horses. I would give her a good scrubbing, later, when the sun wasn’t assaulting my head, just in case. Waving goodbye and plastering on a fake smile for the last time, I watched until their car disappeared out of sight. Addy didn’t want to go back in her stall as I led her to the barn. She was used to our rides, but all I wanted to do now was go find my pillow. Getting her squared away, I finally made it back to the most wonderful place in the world, my bed. But as sleepy as I was, I couldn't find sleep. Katy called twice, letting the phone ring and ring and ring until finally the machine kicked on, and then Lucas called, thanks to Katy giving him my number. Then, Katy called back to see what he had called about. In truth, I didn’t know myself. I was in and out of it, barely hearing him when he said goodbye. It was after two in the afternoon the last time I’d looked at the clock.
When I woke fully, the headache was still there, but at least it was only a dull ache now. The sun was much lower in the sky, streaming into my room at odd angles and for that, I was grateful. I found the kitchen empty, supper dishes drying on a checkered dish towel. I pressed start on the microwave, not bothering to look inside. I’d eat anything at this point, which was a good thing because it was meatloaf. Meatloaf was in the same category as bran flakes in my book. It was unnatural. If God had intended meat to come in a loaf, he’d have made square cows.
“I was wondering if you were out for the night,” Mama said, startling me from the laundry room. She was busy folding a load of bed sheets. “If you’d gotten up a half hour earlier, you could’ve gone to town with your daddy. He went to get more pull-ups for Jenny. I swany that girl ain’t never going to use the toilet.”
“Did Thomas go too?”
“No,” she said, kicking the washer back to life. “He was going to give the horses a good washin’.
“I’m going to do that,” I grumbled as I watched the rotating plate heat my food.
“After Allendale almost kicked you—” Mama started.
“A rat spooked him,” I said, palming the steaming plate and practically throwing it into the sink.
“Breelynn,” she yelled just as the plate broke into two pieces.
“Sorry, Mama,” I said, grabbing a dish towel and carefully pulling the broken pieces from the sink and maneuvering them into the trash bin. “That wasn’t one of your good ones, was it?”
Mama sighed, her lips quirked in a scowl as she pulled the garbage bag out, the plate already sticking through the plastic bag. “I don’t care about the plate.” She shook her head, giving me disparaging once over. “I just don’t know what’s gotten into you lately. Taking off for hours and not telling anyone where you’re going, not coming down for meals, and being rude to our house guest.
” Me! He was the one playing Daddy at the door last night to my date and running his mouth in the bathroom afterwards, but I knew better than to argue. There was no reason on God’s green earth to be rude to a guest in Mama’s eyes.
“I’m sorry, Mama.”
“Is it school? Are you anxious about college?”
I wiped the mess from my hands and took the bag she’d tied up to the back door. Turning the knob, I glanced over my shoulder and shrugged, “Maybe. It just feels like everything is changing.” That wasn’t a lie. Things had changed, just not the things she was thinking. I didn’t wait on her to reply, the screen door slamming behind me. I loaded the trash into the outside bin and headed to the barn. The doors were open, and the fresh scent of hay drifted up to greet me as I walked inside. The tip of Thomas’s old, worn-out hat could be seen just beyond Addy’s stall. He was more likely to be without pants than that hat, and in my current mood it irritated me to no end. He was taking a curry comb to Addy as she stood patiently, enjoying her brush down. Traitor. I started filling the metal tub and pulled it to the first stall.
“You look better,” he said conversationally.
“Sleep will do that,” I said evenly. “I know Daddy asked you to come in here, but I don’t need any help.”
He put the brush down and grabbed the hose, bringing it around to Allendale. His feet were pretty caked in mud.
“I think I’ll stick around just the same,” he said with a smirk.
Fine. No skin off my back as long as he stayed out of my way.
He held the hose full blast toward the ground, mud splashing over Allendale’s legs. Allendale wasn’t afraid. He didn’t look scared at all. If anything, he was ignoring us, the water too. He was too irritated with the flies that lit on his ear to care that I was soaping his legs.
“That horse bucks and you’ll be on your ass,” Thomas said, trying to keep a hand on Allendale.
“Why don’t you worry about the hose,” I said, using my arm to brush away a few fly away hairs while washing Allendale’s hind quarters. “I’ve managed just fine washing these horses without your help for years now.”