“Dad—”
“When he graduated, he was ready to go after you. Almost did, but things… got in the way. I had my buddy in Pasadena call him out for work. I let him sweat through his anger for a few weeks, fuel his newfound passion fighting fires, saving lives. Then I pulled him in for full Blaze work.”
“I have so many questions,” I whisper. “More, now than ever.”
“Oakley… I can’t do this over the phone.”
“Then come home.”
“I can’t, baby girl. Not right now.”
“This whole thing sucks. Everything is messed up with you gone.”
“He’s intense, isn’t he?”
A laugh bubbles out of me. “That’s one way of putting it.”
“Oakley… don’t feel guilty for feeling. Sometimes things are just meant to be. Remember what I said before?”
I close my eyes, whispering the words he spoke to me. “Be unstoppable.”
“That’s right. Be bold, Oaks. Be brave.”
“Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“Did Rowan know? About Alec and… everything.”
“You mean, did Rowan know that his older brother wanted what he had, but didn’t value?”
I swallow, asking when I already know the answer. “Yeah.”
“Yeah, baby girl, he knew.”
Tears fall freely, running down my face and neck.
Rowan knew. He knew how Alec felt.
When Alec left, Rowan and mine’s relationship flatlined, completely on a friend level. When just months before, when Alec first started hanging around again, Rowan was warm toward me. He’d call every morning and night, hug me and kiss my cheek often.
Much like recently when Alec came back.
God, I’m an idiot.
It was never about us with Rowan. It was about keeping me from Alec.
He was using me to show Alec he would never let him win.
But this isn’t a game and I’m not a prize.
I love Rowan, he means the world to me, but I won’t do this back and forth with him. Not when there’s room for so much more.
Alec wants it, and I just might give it to him.
Chapter 13
I chew my lip as the last three recruits begin testing, Rowan being one of them.
I know he's been nervously awaiting today, as he's had trouble with this particular drill over the last few weeks. I'm starting to wonder if the pressure of written exams is getting to him as he tries and tries, but still can't get it right.
Unfortunately, today is looking to be no different. Right off the bat, he struggles with proper form.
I peek at Alec and like I knew it would be, his frown is on Rowan. He only watches for a moment before his attention shifts to the other two recruits also being tested.
“You’re set to carry a twenty-four-foot, 120-pound ladder on your shoulder. Use your ergonomic training to lift properly. Call out your movements.”
Two call out their positions, giving a play-by-play of their steps and assessment of the area.
Rowan gets his ladder positioned and when he stands, turning to head for the wall, I wince.
“Your moves, recruit,” Alec reminds him. “What are you looking for?”
Rowan continues forward, growling, “Electrical hazards.”
“Let it be known. When you're on a job, your team needs to be aware of all possible dangers.”
Rowan makes it to the deposit point, but I see his error instantly and have to look away. His ladder is only two-and-a-half feet from the wall, when it’s supposed to be a full three. An automatic fail.
Alec's eyes cut to mine, then back. Neither of us correct him. This is something we'll go over in one-on-one eval's.
The first of the two finishes at four minutes and forty-two seconds.
Rowan and the last student, Jayden, are at the same point. They begin tying the halyard, the rope connected to the ladder that helps secure it in place.
Jayden steps back first, then Rowan and I stop the clock, three seconds past the allotted time.
Alec’s eyes meet mine expectantly.
“Five three.” I glance at Rowan and his shoulders drop a fraction of an inch.
He lets out a quiet curse and stomps to the backside wall, where he grabs water with the rest of the group.
With a sigh, I slide off my stool, Alec falling in line beside me.
“It’s sad,” Alec spits in a whisper. “How your attention’s glued to him.”
He never reacts like a normal human when Rowan’s involved, so I ignore his comment, not taking my eyes off Rowan. “I want to help him.”
“Course you fucking do.”
“He wants this, Alec.”
“Yeah?” He leans in some, whispering in my ear, “Well, not everything we want is so easily obtained, Oakley.”
I turn to glare at Alec, but my gaze is pulled to the boys goofing off in the corner.
“Please. You’re wound tight, Daniels.”
Rowan chuckles, one hand on his hip, the other squirting water into his mouth. He shrugs a shoulder.
“Oakley!” Kevin shouts. “Rowan here needs some aid.”
When I pop an eyebrow, Rowan chuckles through a grin.
“He could use a good night in with his girl.”
I tilt my head, grinning through nerves. “I guess he better find himself one then, huh?”
As soon as the words leave me Alec goes stiff at my side.
When Kevin gives an awkward laugh, my eyes shift to Rowan, finding the frown I knew would be there. Slowly, his eyes move from mine to the man beside me, and back.
For the first time, in all our years of friendship, I’m the one to squash the rumor. I blew away the smoke that fogged the line we’ve been walking for years, in front of his friends. In front of Alec.
For Alec?
Rowan’s brows pull in again, but this time it’s different. Pinched tight around the edges, his light brown eyes hold mine.
It’s clear the second he sees it, the shift and his eyes slope at the edges.
But before anyone catches on, he laughs it off, shoving Kevin playfully. “Let’s hit the showers before we get our asses chewed, fellas.” And with that, he’s gone, the remaining stragglers following behind.
Once the door clicks shut, I lick my lips, inhaling deeply, right as Alec’s front hits my back.
“Turn around,” he whispers with gentle force and my eyes close.
“Not now. Not here,” I whisper back, a light shudder running through me when his deep inhale has his strong chest pressing into my back.
Before he can respond, because I know he will, I break away and head straight for the doors. I don’t dare look back at the man behind me as I rush to my car for a quiet, solo lunch.
Unfortunately, the hour is over too quick and before I know it, it’s time to go back in.
I ignore the others in the parking lot and make my way to the doors. But before I can enter, Rowan intercepts me and pulls me to the side.
“Rowan, what the hell?” I glare, yanking my arm back.
“What was that today?” he questions.
"I cleared up a misconception. Even you have to admit it was a long time coming.”
“What’s going on, Oakley? You’re acting different.” He starts pacing in front of me. “We haven’t hung out with each other all week. I haven’t even been able reach you on your cell the last few days. I feel like you're pushing me out.”
“It hasn’t been intentional or to hurt you. I’ve just been busy with Academy and Alec’s been there...” I trail off and he stops to glare. “I don’t know what you want me say.”
“I want you to tell me you’re not involved with him.”
“Would it matter if I were?”
“Yes!” he shouts in a whisper. “It would.”
“Why, Rowan?” I challenge. “Tell me why.”
“Because—” The word is instant, but then he hesitates and looks away.
“Beca
use you thought I’d always be here, waiting for when you were ready?” His pinched gaze comes back to mine. “That’s fucked up Row and you know it.”
“That’s not it! You’re acting like I don’t care for you and I do. You have to know I do,” he pleads, his hands coming up to case in my cheeks. “Oakley, other than my mom, you’re the most important person in my life.”
“Rowan…” I whisper, tears forming in my eyes. “I can’t be that girl anymore. I love you, I do. But there’s a big difference between being important and being yours. I can’t be left in limbo with you.”
“Then you won’t be,” he promises, and my hands lift to cover his. “Let’s give it a shot.”
“I don’t want to, Row. Not anymore.” I give him a sad smile and he shakes his head, stepping closer.
“You don’t belong with him.”
“Don’t do this.”
“You don’t. He’s not what you think.”
“Stop.” I remove his hands from my face and step back. “We’re not doing this.”
As I walk away, he calls out, “I’ll prove it to you, Oakley. You’ll see.”
I halt my steps, slowly turning to look back at him. “I don’t need you to prove anything Rowan. Alec’s shown me enough for me to make my own decision. What I need from you is my old friend back. The one that cared for me because he wanted to, not because he was worried someone else did.”
Rowan’s shoulders drop and he lets out a deep breath. “Oaks… I’m sorry.”
I nod, turning to the door before he sees the tears that start to fall.
I fear our friendship won’t make it, now that he knows where my head is, but I’ll do all I can to try and make it work.
Because, at the end of the day I don’t want to lose Rowan, but losing Alec isn’t an option.
Chapter 14
My eyes fly open, panicked, when a hand clamps tight over my mouth. I try to scream, but more pressure is applied, and the figure grows closer.
I can’t see, so I swing and kick blindly, freezing when he hisses in my ear. “Stop! It’s me. Don’t fucking move. Don’t say a word, got it?”
Alec.
I nod, inhaling deeply when he removes his hand.
“Someone’s outside,” he whispers.
“Call the police!” I whisper yell and he frowns, lifting his finger to his lips, telling me to stop talking.
“I’ve got this. Get in the closet, close the door quietly, and don’t come out unless you hear me call for you. Understood?”
“What? Hell no! You’re—” He frowns again, so I lower my voice. “You’re not leaving me in here! Let me help.”
“Fuck no.”
“I’m not as fragile as you take me for, Alec.”
“As far as I’m concerned, your ass is glass.” He scowls. “Stay. Here.”
I pull myself closer to him. “Why can’t we call the cops?”
“It doesn’t work—”
He cuts off and my eyes widen when we hear footsteps outside the window.
“Please,” I mouth, tears starting to form as the threat gets real. “Don’t leave me here.”
He grips my waist, lifting and depositing me in the closet. “Don’t fucking move, I mean it. I’m going around the side.”
I shake my head, gripping his bicep hard, begging without words not to be left alone.
His face contorts, the vein of his jaw beating angrily. He lowers his head, quickly dragging his nose against my neck, before he’s gone.
Only when he walks from the room do I see the gun in the back of his jeans.
Slapping my hand over my mouth, I squeeze my eyes tight, trying to force the tears away and anxiety down, but it’s no use.
I tilt my head back, leaning against the wall as I listen to the chaos that starts to unfold.
First, the window rustles as the stranger tries to wedge it open. Just as soon as the sound comes, it’s gone and a loud crash from outside rattles the TV mounted on the wall.
It continues for a few moments, then my ears perk.
Aside from Alec, I hear two more voices, both males. A loud force hits my window, followed by a deep grunt of pain.
Alec. He’s outnumbered.
No!
I run from my closet to my dad’s room, quickly popping open his faux DVD player and grabbing the pistol that reveals itself. And I thought he was paranoid by having it.
With a deep breath, I run from the room, screaming when I slam into a hard figure and fall to the floor.
Wide, terrified eyes fly to the source and I start to cry.
“What the fuck did I tell you?” Alec grits through clenched teeth, but I ignore his anger and jump to my feet, wrapping my arms around him.
“Are they gone?”
His breathing is ragged, wild. “I told you to stay in the closet.”
“There were two of them. I couldn’t… I had to help you.”
He’s quiet for a moment and finally, his body starts to relax, his breathing returning to normal. His chin dips just the slightest, burying his face further into my arms locked around his neck.
He takes one deep breath, then bends to lift me.
Cocooned in the safety of his arms, I close my eyes as he carries me into my room and lowers us onto my mattress.
“Are you okay?” I whisper into the skin at his neck and a chuckle leaves him.
“I’m good, princess.”
Reluctantly, I pull back to stare at him.
His eyes search mine, and the longer they do, the more I see. Wrinkles cover his normally smooth forehead, deeper creases caging in his bottomless green eyes. Worry.
“What’s going on, Alec?” I whisper, my grip on his arm tightening. “Why are these people breaking in… what do they want?”
Dark green eyes shift between mine. “You, Oakley. They want you.”
My head pulls back slowly. “I… why?”
“Blaze.”
“Blaze…” I look off, then back. “Where’s my dad, Alec? What’s he done?”
“Your dad is a good man, Oakley. So are the majority of the people who employ his crew.”
“Blaze.”
He nods, pulling me closer.
“Tell me everything, Alec.”
He sighs, but gives me what I want. “Three years ago, a little girl was murdered in pure cold blood, right in front of her mother. But no one believed the mom when she named the man that had done it, and somehow, once in court, the surveillance videos that caught it all disappeared. The mother went to prison and the man walked, scot-free.
“Just before your graduation, your dad was hired by one of the woman’s sons, a brother to the little girl. In their world, murder and chaos is normal, but he couldn’t touch this man without serious consequences. Your dad is a prominent man in these people’s worlds, Oakley. He was hired to take away the murderer’s power and pulled it off without a hitch. Blaze went in, burnt down his hidden warehouse. His entire operation—black market dealing and street drugs, money—burned to the ground. Blaze makes everything look natural, so all his investigators could find were electrical hazard.”
“So how did they learn about my dad?”
“An insider leaked the information. Your dad heard someone was asking questions about an academy on the West Coast that was training henchmen. He knew they’d eventually find him, which meant finding you, so I went in undercover to learn how close they were. I was only days away from exposing the person, but your dad got a call saying Blazer’s name was being thrown around. Immediately, he left to try and throw them off, fix what he could and sent me here to protect you.” He eyes me. “Nobody’s ever hurt in the work he does. He only takes jobs that guarantee nothing and no one else is affected by it. He’d never put innocent in harm’s way.”
“This is insane. I can’t even wrap my head around it.”
“It’s a lot to take in at first, but once you talk with your dad, you’ll understand it better. The things he does, the people he helps, it’s all to serve
justice where the government failed to. He researches everything, gets all the facts before anything. It’s a solid organization.”
“Yeah, I’ll deal with that bomb later, but what happens now?” I question, removing myself from his lap to stand. “We wait for them to show up again?”
He looks away as he stands as well. “It’s the middle of the night. Get some sleep, and we’ll talk in the morning.”
He rushes out, heading back to his room before I have a chance to argue.
I stare after him for a moment before I drop onto my mattress, hoping sleep will come.
Chapter 15
Three hours.
I’ve been starting at my window for three damn hours, replaying what happened tonight over and over again in my head.
Alec had no fear when it came to those men. None.
This man, who owes me nothing, who I thought hated me all these years, has shown he’s willing to put his own life at risk if it means my safety. I know he’s a fireman, has risked his life more times than I’m aware of for complete and total strangers, but whatever’s going on involving me, it’s different. I see it now.
It’s strange, the feeling of empowerment, the intensity that comes hand in hand with desire when the other person craves you the same.
Alec’s told me in several ways he wants everything I have to give, and I believe him.
His aggressive behavior and impulsive attitude is simply a testament to his eagerness, his desperation—a raw need to have me. Because he wants to have me.
I can feel it in his animalistic stares and raving words. The way his hands shake when he’s near me, forcing his fingers to curl into a tight fist.
And I don’t know how it happened, or when, but I want something from him too. I’m not sure what or how much of it yet, but tonight? Right now? I want in his bed.
When it comes to men, I’ve never been good at taking what I want, what I need.
I’ve never been bold.
But I want to be. I want to be the strongest, bravest version of myself, for him.
So tonight, I will be.
As quiet as possible, I pull myself from my bed and make my way to his room.
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