“I want you, Devan,” I say against her soft lips. “I’ll do whatever you want.”
“I need to tell you something.”
“What is it, baby?”
She’s out of my arms and steps backward, away from me, and I stay where I’m standing. I don’t want to crowd her. If she needs space then I’ll make sure I’m giving her space.
“Tell me, baby.”
“I’m not experienced. I mean, I’ve kissed before.”
Yeah, I don’t need to know who she’s kissed.
“That’s it, though.”
“Baby, I don’t care if you’re not experienced. Hell, that makes me happy as fuck, knowing I’ll be the first man to touch you. Worship you.” I step closer into her space. “Taste you. Make you moan. Do you want that?”
“I do. Just can we go slow?”
“Whatever you want.”
I take her in my arms and walk into my bedroom. Her body is tightly against mine. The swell of her tits makes me groan. As soon as we’re in my bedroom, I gently set her on my bed. I’m taking her in. Memorizing her body and the way she’s staring at me. Desire is all over her face. Tonight we’re going to kiss and I’m going to feel her skin. That’s it. I don’t want to scare her.
I lie next to her, bringing her body on top of mine, and she easily meets my lips again. The kiss is electric and wild. I tilt her head to the side, going deeper, sucking on her bottom lip. My hands roam down her back until they're on her ass. Damn, what an ass she has. Somewhere in my mind, I know I should push her a little more, show her what I know she’ll like. I push that thought away. I won’t scare her.
“Brennan,” she moans my name and I’m about to come in my jeans. Damn, her breathy moan is killing me. “I like what you’re doing.”
“Kissing you?”
“No,” she says. “I like the way you grab my butt.” Her tone gets low and shy, so I sit up and have her legs wrap around my waist.
“Tell me what you like again. This time keep your voice confident and strong. Let me know what makes your pussy wet and needy for me.”
Her face turns red—fuck—it’s too damn adorable. “I like when you grab my ass. It feels good.”
“Thatta girl. Confidence, baby.”
“You make me feel sexy and confident, Brennan. I want to do everything with you, and I hope you won’t get bored with me since I’m not experienced and would like to go slow.”
“Of course not. You can never bore me. Like I told you before, knowing I’m the first man to do these things to you is an honor and a fucking turn on. No man has seen you naked. No man has put his fingers into you, feeling your wetness, and making you moan. No man has fucked you or made love to you. I promise I’ll do it all to you. And you’ll love it.”
“I don’t doubt that.” She smirks and instantly I need to have her lips again.
Chapter 11
Devan
I’m slowly waking up after a night of passionate making out and feeling Brennan’s hands on my ass and playing with my nipples. My body is screaming for more, and I’m internally slapping myself for not being ready to go further. I’m not afraid to be naked in front of him. I’m nervous I won’t be good. What if he thinks my pussy is ugly, or what if he thinks I’m too virginal and he doesn’t want to waste his time on me? Ugh. If that happens, I’m not sure what I’ll do. This is all too much to handle. Yet, it’s all I want. Throughout my life, I’ve had one bad thing after another happen. Now I’m with Brennan: a fierce, strong, passionate, sexy, and caring man. A man who’ll do anything to make sure I’m okay. We’ve known each other for less than a week and already he’s a big part of my life. A part I never want to lose. I’m going to be what he wants and show him that I appreciate him. I’ll start by making breakfast.
Brennan is still sleeping, so I slip on one of his shirts and turn to see the peaceful expression on his face. He’s gorgeous.
In the kitchen, I get to work and make a breakfast fit for a deserving man. My man.
Everything I need is here, so I quickly make breakfast and get his coffee ready. There’s a wooden tray in one of the cabinets; I grab it and place his food, coffee, and juice on it. I’m smiling from ear to ear. This is romantic and sweet. Sure, I don’t know anything about romance, just what I’ve read in my books, but this seems to be romantic. Maybe one day, he’ll make me breakfast in bed and we’ll eat together, on our bed, naked, and so in love.
Love.
Love.
Love.
The feeling is foreign to me and now I want it. I want it so badly. I want it with Brennan.
The room is still quiet, so I place the tray on his nightstand and feel brave all of a sudden. I remember one time, Georgina and I were watching porn and I saw the way she took care of him. I shimmy my underwear down my legs and kick it aside. I keep his shirt on and climb back on the bed, peeling the sheet off him. My eyes widen when it lands on his very hard, very big cock. I feel my face blushing, heating up with a mix of passion and embarrassment. This must be against the law—staring at a nearly naked man while he’s sleeping, and daydreaming about his very impressive member. A tingle starts in between my thighs. I breathe in a breath, bringing my lower lip in between my teeth and gently bite down.
As soon as I’m straddling him, I feel his hardness right where I need it to be. Wow, this feels so good. Holy moly. The sudden surge of confidence springs inside me. I lean forward and rest my fingertips on his bare chest, raking down it, feeling the delicious ridges of his abs. His very built, athletic, and has washboard abs that put underwear models to shame.
The muscles in his chest tense and the veins pop out. My eyes are glued on him. I don’t feel his hands on me until they’re against my bare skin. The chilling sensation makes me lean my head back. Just from his touch.
“You’re so responsive,” his dark, raspy voice mutters.
I let out a deep sigh and slowly rock my hips. The grip tightens and my body erupts in desire and hunger. I want him. I want him badly.
“I want you, Brennan.”
As soon as the words are out from my mouth, he sits up and settles his eyes on mine.
“You’re a virgin.”
I nod. “Yes, we’ve established that already.”
“And you’re going to stay that way. Right now, you’re in the moment. In the heat of the moment and you’re not thinking clearly. Before you start thinking I don’t want you, that’s obviously not the issue. I want you. Just not in this way.”
From the stories I’ve heard about them, and what my foster sisters have said, my impression of men is they all want sex. When they see women, they see ass, boobs, and pussy. They see a conquest and will treat the chase like a game. I’m not entirely sure I believe in love or the idea of a soul mate. My past isn’t the greatest; yet, Brennan’s changing all of that for me. He’s opening my eyes to a real possibility of being fully happy and complete. Besides my foster family, and my sisters from the building, Brennan, Amber, and Greg are my family.
“Are you real?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I breathe in deeply, keeping my eyes on him, trying to formulate the words I want to say without sounding like a freak. “You’re perfect, Brennan. There’s this alluring light about you and your heart is genuine. You make me feel safe, and when I’m with you, there’s no fear. I can be myself. I can trust you. After all the crap I’ve been through, trusting a man isn’t easy for me to do.”
When those words are out, I slowly get off of him and sit crossed-legged on the bed, still next to him, and still in reach.
“The reason why I left my foster family is because I found a peephole in my bedroom. On the other side…” I pause, slow my breathing, and swallow the enormous lump of emotions in my throat. “My foster father would bring his friends to that room, and they’d take turns watching me change or sleep. Since I thought my bedroom was private, I was usually always naked because I wanted to preserve my clothes. My foster parents only allowed
us to do laundry once every other week and my clothes were limited. In the shower, I’d take my underwear with me, wash it the best I could, and let it air dry. I only had four pairs.” My voice goes soft and I hold back the tears. “That hole in the wall stays with me. That’s one of the reasons why I don’t like staying in a room by myself, and why being around men makes me nervous.”
Brennan sits up straighter and reaches over to hold my hand. He doesn’t say anything, and for that I’m grateful. There are so many things he could say; yet he chooses not to say anything, and allows the silence to let me know everything will be okay. Sometimes the best advice is the advice not spoken. Sometimes the quiet is what a person needs to feel better.
“Enough sadness,” I finally say. “Can we go for a walk or something?”
“Anything for you, Devan. You never have to ask.”
I smile and lean over to kiss his cheek before getting out of bed to get ready for the day.
Chapter 12
Brennan
Tonight’s my last night at the station before I’m off for three days. My body aches from the long nights. I fight the exhaustion and down an energy drink.
Devan’s hanging out with Amber tonight, and since I have a twelve-hour shift, I won’t be home until tomorrow morning. I’m glad they’re friends. Devan’s getting out of her comfort zone.
A few nights ago, Devan took Amber out with her other friends. I stayed in with Greg and we watched the game. The girls came home after one in the morning and Lydia, Amber’s friend, got Devan a fake ID and they took advantage. Greg and Amber spent the night and the four of us stayed in my living room. It was nice I won’t lie. Devan was immersing herself in my life. I liked it.
“Yo, man.” I look up and see Greg coming into the kitchen. “What're you cooking, honey?”
“Shut the fuck up.” I laugh, and toss him a banana, before turning back and warming up the soup Devan made. “Have you tried any of Devan’s soup? So damn good.”
“Are you sure we’re talking about her soup?”
“I’m not going to answer your question. Instead, I’m going to sit here, enjoy this soup, and savor each bite.”
“Just like you savor each taste of her.” Greg winks and holds up his hand, putting it in a fist, as if he wants me to bump it.
I’m not.
“You’re an immature asshole.”
I get situated and take a few bites before the alarm blares. The guys in the kitchen drop what they’re doing and rush down to the bay. Everything’s a blur: the alarm, the rush of adrenaline, the commotion of busting ass to get on the truck and to the fire.
“Let’s go!” I scream and hop on the truck.
In seconds, our crews are racing down the road. The engine screams behind our truck, lights blaring, alarms sounding, the radio is loud and directions are being fired through the speaker. The motor roars to get to the scene. I close my eyes and say a prayer, then refocus and get my mind on the fact that I need to be one-hundred-percent, so I can save precious lives.
Before I know it, we’re getting off the truck, as the other crew’s preparing, while Greg, Captain Hector, and I are analyzing the fire.
Captain shouts orders and Greg and I give each other a nod and get to work. The fire is going wild in the two-story home. There’s a bicycle in the yard and some toys on the porch. Without any more thinking, we rush inside, scanning for anyone, listening for screams.
We split up into two crews, using our radios to communicate. Greg takes a man toward the living area and I take mine up the stairs. We’re careful not to move too hard, but to move quickly enough. Once we reach the top, crying from one room is heard, so I tell my guy to go into there, while I head to the other room. Luckily the doors are open, so I’m not running into risks of the door not opening. In a swift move, I find a woman on the floor with a sheet over her face. Her eyes are wild and wide.
I hold my hands up, kneel, and look at her, letting her know I’m here to help. She nods. I help her up, and rush out of the room. Once two children and the woman are out, she composes herself and screams, “Where’s Steven? Oh my God! Please! My oldest! Please, he’s still inside.” She drops to her knees, clinging onto her chest and staring at her house. The flames are swallowing it whole, taking away their home, their belongings, their safe place.
“Captain, I got it!” I yell and rush back inside. “Steven!” I yell again and listen carefully for any signs of life. The fire is getting out of control, and fuck, I can’t go back out there without her son. “Steven!” I yell once again and head into the kitchen since we cleared the upstairs. With a quick scan, I find legs on the other side of the counter and hurry to pull him up on my shoulders. The entrance to the kitchen is blocked with flames. “Fuck,” I growl, looking around for another way to exit.
The windows are too small and the door is being consumed by flames. I need to get out of here. Fuck!
I find a small entryway in the corner and hurry over to get through. It’s a tight fucking squeeze, but I manage to get through. The smoke is getting to be too much and I’m getting weak…dizzy…light-headed.
“Come on,” I mutter, “come fucking on.”
The space goes completely dark and I have no fucking clue where I’m going. I take a few more steps and feel a door—fucking shit—it’s locked. I bang on the door, taking off my mask and screaming for help.
“Greg!” I shout. “Someone!” I shout again, covering my mouth and holding my breath. I look behind me and the light from the flames is coming closer. “Fuck! Help us!”
Chapter 13
Devan
The lights are dim and the machines are steadily beeping. Amber’s in the corner sleeping, and I’m sitting next to Brennan, holding his hand, and praying he’ll wake up. With the injuries he sustained from the fire, the doctor put him in a medically induced coma. They’re hoping to bring him out of it today. I’d give everything to see his beautiful dark brown eyes again. His eyes are the only eyes that make me feel safe whenever he looks at me.
“You’ve been sleeping for ten days. It’s going onto eleven days in two minutes. Brennan, the nurses told us if we talk to you, then you can hear us and I hope it’s true. Since we got here, Amber and I have been taking turns staying up with you. Amber takes the day shift, and I take the night. While she’s up with you, I sleep, or go back to your house and clean. I organized your closet and hope you like it. Also, Amber told me about your Sunday visits.” I pause and fight the tears.
“Fuck. Today’s Sunday.”
“He never told me where he goes or what he does. I’ve never asked because I don’t want to pry. Is there something I can do to help?”
“Shit,” Amber mutters. She runs a hand over her face and lets out a loud sigh. “Okay, I’m going to tell you something, and I know when Brennan wakes up he’ll freak the fuck out, but someone needs to go and I can’t.”
“What is it?”
The next words out of Amber’s lips I never imagined hearing.
“I went to visit Iris. She stared at me and I sat down, held her hand, and I talked to her. There were books on her shelf so I took one and read it to her. Her eyes never left mine. I wasn’t sure if she heard me, but I told her who I was and the man you were. I know that she was your fiancée, but there was a fire two years ago, and the trauma caused her to be in a catatonic state. She’s beautiful, Brennan.”
I’m holding back my tears. My heart’s breaking from the loss that Brennan’s experiencing. Now I understand his need to protect. His need to save me.
He couldn’t save Iris.
The next few days are hard. By day fifteen, the doctors are weaning him off the medicine, and he should be waking up by tonight or tomorrow. It’s a waiting game now. Amber, Greg, and I take turns staying with Brennan. Whenever I need to leave, I’m quick about it. I don’t want to be away from him for too long.
“Please, come back to us, Brennan. Come back and smile again. Come back and do Zumba with me and take long walks. I hate bei
ng in your house without you. I hate knowing you’re here and there’s nothing I can. If you wake up I promise I’ll cook for you every single day.” I laugh and lay my forehead on his hand. “Whatever’s holding you back from opening your eyes, you need to fight. Fight your hardest and come back.”
Brennan
The grass is soft and I feel the sun beaming on my skin. I’m surrounded by the beauty of nature. It’s quiet where I am. There’s no pain. No scars. Nothing’s broken.
But I don’t have Devan.
Her sweet voice is like a whisper in the wind, carrying around me and gently traveling through my senses and settling on my heart.
Devan.
Devan.
Devan.
A hand touches my shoulder, and I look up to see familiar green eyes. Eyes of the woman I was going to marry. Eyes of the woman I wanted to have children with.
Iris.
“Hi, Brennan.”
“Iris?” I get up from the grass and stand before her, reaching over and feeling her hair between my fingers. “How?”
“It was my time. I met Devan and she’s so sweet.” Iris’ eyes shine and instead of blankness, I see life. I see brilliance. I see the woman I love. “She’s amazing and exactly the kind of woman you need. When she came to see me I knew exactly who she was. I wish I could’ve talked and told her to take care of you since I wasn’t going to be able to anymore. Brennan, she read to me and talked to me as if I was okay. I watched her leave, and I was finally able to breathe. I knew I had to let go.”
“Iris…”
“No.” She smiles, and wraps her arms around my waist. “No, sweetheart. This is where I’m going to be from now on. You don’t have to come and visit me on Sundays. You don’t have to take care of me anymore. It’s time for me to watch over you. Live your life and be the man I know you can be. Let Devan in. She loves you the way you love her and that’s okay. I can rest peacefully because I know your heart will heal. I know you’ll have someone to take care of you. To love you. To cherish you. To spend your life with.”
Burn Me Anthology Page 47