The memories of her name heaved out of me. “Lillie.”
I tilted my head up to the ceiling and started counting backwards to the rhythm of Vincent’s heartbeat. It’s something I taught myself after my mother left me. I’d close my eyes and count down from a hundred, breathing out from my nose until my rage died down. Sometimes it worked. Other times it didn’t. It never made my pain disappear, but it was enough to smother it with another thought. When it didn’t, I’d do something stupid like bust a window or get drunk. I hadn’t felt the need for any since I’d met Aubrey.
Not until today…
Ninety-nine. Ninety-eight. Ninety-sev––six…
“Vince. I made a mistake.” I beseeched. The countdown wasn’t working.
Gasping, I tried again.
Ninety-nine. Ninety-eight. Ninety-seven. Ninety-s––five...
“Please? Please just wake up.”
Ninety-nine. Ninety-eight. Ninety-seven. Ninety-six. Ninety-five...
Four. Three. T––
“Excuse me, miss, but you can’t come in here.”
My head veered and I saw Aubrey’s tear filled blue eyes watching me with a mixture of sadness and misunderstanding. I hadn’t even heard her come in. I didn’t even know she had followed me. The built up anger that I’d managed to tame, resurfaced, except it was ten times stronger.
How dared she spy on me?
My spiteful glare was sufficient enough for her to walk away without saying a word.
“Hey,” the same nurse that had just interrupted my fiancé’s eavesdropping scolded once she saw me standing at the foot of Vincent’s bed. “You––”
“Can’t be in here? Yeah I got that. Except I wouldn’t have been here if you assholes stopped holding back on my best friend’s condition.” I bolted out of the room too angry to listen to her response, and chased after Aubrey.
Chapter 10
Micah
Present
It took me less than five minutes to find her, but then again it probably would have taken longer if she hadn’t wanted to be found.
I paused before walking in, wondering what my next step would be. As I observed her sitting on a table alone inside the dark room, it was hard to figure out what I was feeling. Anger boiled inside me; years of built up rage yearning to be set free. I was furious with her for showing up where she wasn’t supposed to be, for second guessing our relationship, for spying on me, and after watching some asshole hit on her, I felt the need to remind her who she belonged to.
I craved to be inside her.
But deep down, I knew it was more than that…I wanted her make her suffer; for her to feel pain. I wanted her to know what it was like to be me. Better yet, I was going to obliterate the little light that was left inside her, so she could be just like me.
“So is spying on me your new thing now?” I slammed the door and locked it behind me. The sound didn’t make her flinch, neither did my harsh tone. She simply sat on the edge of the metallic desk either lost in her own train of thoughts or completely ignoring me…I couldn’t tell which one it was until I saw her snicker while she played with the drawstring of my hoodie.
“What happened to my brother?”
“You don’t get to ask questions, right now,” I snarled. “Besides, you were there. You know what happened.”
“Except I don’t. One minute I see my brother following you inside a burning house where I know you both aren’t supposed to be––”
“YOU weren’t supposed to be there, Aubrey,” I barked. “I have one fucking rule, Aub––”
“Funny,” she retorted, cutting me off. “I have one rule too, and mine is that we’re honest with each other––always. Two can play this game, Micah.”
“I asked you one thing. One. Fucking. Thing. Why––”
“Who is she?”
“Who’s who?” I gritted through my teeth. All I wanted was for her to shut up and let me talk.
“Lillie.”
My jaw ticked. “I don’t want to talk about her.”
“Why not? Is she an ex? A casual fuck you keep on the sidelines in case you fuck up?” she snapped, jumping off the desk. My immediate reaction as she started to walk away was to snatch her arm and shove her against the opposing wall. I expected her to flinch, but she didn’t. She met my stare, challenging me as she knew so well how to do. “Does Vince know about her?”
My hand snaked up her body and I wrapped my fingers around her throat; adding just enough pressure. My fingers brushed against the white-gold chain and charm I’d given her as a gift the previous Christmas. “What part of ‘we’re not talking about her’ do you not understand, Aubrey?”
She narrowed her eyes derisively. “Go ahead, Lambert. You think putting your hands around my neck scares me? It doesn’t. I know you won’t hurt me.”
My lips spread into a wide grin and as I moved closer to whisper in her ear. She was right, I wasn’t going to hurt her.
Not physically anyway…
I glanced down, following the path of the shimmering metallic string and snickered. The firefly pendant rested hidden in between her breasts, or like she always said when I’d pull it out to admire it, ‘close to her heart’. Meeting her gaze, I swiftly gripped the chain, and in an abrupt harsh tug, I snapped the delicate piece of jewellery from around her neck and tossed it in the trash.
Aubrey shoved me away fighting her tears. Poor girl, she had no idea what kind of a monster she wanted to promise her soul to.
That’s fine…you won’t be giving her that choice anyway.
“You’re an asshole.”
Putting my arms on each side of her body, I cornered her, and damn if her furious glossy glare didn’t turn me on. “But that’s not much of a surprise for you, now is it, Firefly?” I taunted, coldly. “Because I clearly remember warning you that one little mistake was all it would take for this little game to be over.”
Lifting the skirt of her black dress, my hands ran up the silky skin of her bare legs. Her thighs were scorching against my adventurous fingers. Had she known better, she would have stopped me…or at least tried. But Aubrey’s hooded eyes reflected my own: anger and lust flickered through her burning gaze. Craving my warmth, but especially yearning for more friction, she gripped my shoulders and rolled her hips over mine. My dick jolted while she painfully grinded against me, it was just begging to be freed.
Something was wrong with us. Wrong place, wrong time, but both unable to tame the hunger. She searched for comfort. For me; it was fury. It was a combination that would ruin us both and since all I wanted was to soothe the need to whatever the fuck was going on inside me, what she wanted or rather what was best for her, didn’t matter.
I spun her around and pressed her perky little ass against my hard cock. Eager to know if I had as much effect on her as she did on me, my thumb pushed the thin fabric of her underwear to the side and grazed her swollen clit. She was fucking wet, and at the sound of my appreciative growl, Aubrey’s arms pulled at the back of my hair, lowering my head close to her lips.
“So, which one am I, Micah? Am I the mistake? Or am I the pawn in your little game?”
I smiled against her cheek and tugged on her braid, forcing her head back until she almost cried out. “You’re neither, Firefly. You’re a delusion.” Slipping two fingers inside her tight pussy, I fucked her with my hand. “I broke my own vow for you,” I continued. My thumb pressed her clit caressing it in a circular motion that made her body tremble. I waited ever so patiently for her breathless panting to become wild uncontrollable quivers. “And I’ll be a hundred percent honest with you––” A low gurgle escaped her open mouth. She was close, so fucking close. Her entire body shook as I held her tightly against me, and when her soft moan turned into a loud cry, I shattered her perfect little bliss. “Aubrey Bankes, I’ve never wanted to destroy someone I love as much as I want to destroy you.”
She wrestled, trying to push me away, but the more she struggled against me, the tighter I held
onto her. “I fucking hate you,” she blubbered with wet streams rolling down her cheeks.
Reality was a harsh thing to face up to.
But she was also lying––we both were.
My tongue tasted her sweet salty tears before hovering over her lips. “Good.”
The phone in my pocket vibrated as I unbuckled my belt, but I ignored it. I knew who was calling. She had called twice already––she would wait. I carelessly stripped my fiancé from her sundress, and for a brief second I admired the woman who had promised me her hand. The thin laced lingerie hugged her perfect curves and covered just enough skin as it rested low on her flat stomach. Her hardened breast cried out for attention, just begging to be teased.
When my hungry eyes trailed up to meet hers, I wondered if her feelings about me were the same as they were before our chaotic night. And then just like a match that burns out, I realized that I didn’t care. Darkness was all I could see.
“Micah?” Aubrey’s chest moved heavily. Reading into my thoughts, she side glanced at the door.
Go ahead little firefly…leave.
She didn’t.
Freeing my untamed erection and I licked my lips ready to feast on my prey. “I will shatter you,” I warned.
Her fearful beautiful dark pupils hardened when they locked with mine. “No you won’t.”
I couldn’t stop the snicker that escaped me. Pushing her face down on the metallic table, she hissed as her bare skin touched the cool surface. She tried to move, struggling against my hold, but I restrained her. While one hand pressed on her back, the other leisurely massaged its way down her bare stomach to tease her sensitive skin. Grabbing each thigh, I parted her legs and took my time to free her from her wet lingerie. My tongue grazed her skin and as I made my way back up, her ass perked, begging me to lick her sensitive nub.
I teased her without giving her what she needed. This wasn’t for her. This was for me.
“So fucking sweet,” I whispered on her skin. My dick pressed against her wet slit, ready to sink into her. I grabbed her chest, making her back arch and her face contort. It was more than obvious I was hurting her. She let me; and because she did, she infuriated me so much more. “Tell me to stop, Aubrey.”
Instead of pushing me away, she stretched her arms back and wrapped them around my neck, pulling me closer to her. “No.”
I finally caved. Dipping deep inside her, I crashed my mouth over hers and lasciviously caressed her tongue with mine. Aubrey was angry with me, I could feel it in her kiss, but her mouth was also greedy, begging for more. I lavished her with everything I had. I kissed the sensitive skin between her jaw and the nape of her neck and I thrusted inside her; selfish and ravenous, feeding my deprivation.
Every stroke was long and deep, pounding inside her harshly. I couldn’t get enough of her. While one finger brushed her clit, the other pulled her against me so I could feel her breath on my skin. Controlling her body, I moved in and out of her, satisfying my own needs. Her soft whimpers quickly morphed into cries of ecstasy.
One last time…she needs to know.
“Micah,I”
Thrust.
This isn’t for you. This for me.
“Fucking.”
Cry.
“Love. You.”
I fucking love you too, Aubrey…more than you will ever know.
Chapter 11
Micah
Present
“Where the fuck were you?” Aaryn questioned when I stormed out from the hospital doors.
Playing with the firefly pendant I had picked up from the trashcan after Aubrey had left our little haven to go see her parents, I climbed down the steps and faced my old blonde friend with a wide smirk.
“Oh my God. You were fucking her, weren’t you?” She wagged her eyebrows, half mocking me. “The little princess got to you, didn’t she?”
I didn’t answer. Scanning the parking lot, I saw that her bike was sitting next to mine.
“Ethan packed you a bag, I left it on your seat.” She took a drag from her lit joint.
“Your fucking shit almost screwed up our plan.” I snatched the weed out of her mouth and threw it on the ground, earning myself an angry scowl. “Did he pack my chaps?”
“Yeah,” she blew out. “But there was no room for them in your backpack. Let me go grab them from my saddle bag.”
“Thanks.”
“Micah?” an unsure voice called out to me before Aaryn and I walked towards our bikes.
I groaned scanning the sky.
“Want me to chase whoever that is away?” my friend snickered before leaving me.
Spinning on my heels, I grimaced. It was only once we were face-to-face that I recognized the mother of the child whose life I’d just saved, and when I did, I couldn’t even sum up a fake smile. Having everyone around me trying to convince me that everything was going to be okay had to be the most annoying thing I had to endure in almost fifteen hours. The last thing I wanted was to repeat the same lie to her, and for some reason I knew she appreciated it. From what I’d heard, her son Jason had a few first degree burns and a broken leg. The smoke he’d inhaled had caused serious damages to his lungs, but nothing a few respiratory therapies couldn’t fix.
She stammered. It was obvious she had something to say, but wasn’t able to find the right words.
“I’m happy Jason will be okay, Mrs. Phoenix.” My voice sounded so much colder than I wished it had. Unfortunately, I had run out of empathy and there wasn’t anything else I could say. My choice to go back inside her house, without assessing the situation, had caused so much more damage than I could have anticipated. Saving her son was obviously a miracle, but it ended up being at a costly expense. “Um…I gotta––”
“When I was sixteen years old, I was hanging out in this park on the outskirt of Saratoga.” She closed her eyes for a brief second. “I wasn’t supposed to be there. My parents wanted me to stay home to babysit my six-year-old sister, but I had this double date thing with my best friend, Jamie, and two guys she’d met at a party. So instead of following through to their request, I waited for my mom and dad to leave, got Maya dressed and went to the park like I’d planned.”
I frowned, wondering where she was going with her story. “Mrs. Phoenix as much as I––”
“I got drunk, Micah. And while I was supposed to be paying attention to my pesky sister, I decided I’d rather be wrapped-up in some guy’s arms while sipping on Goldschlager straight from the bottle. The guy was hot and my sister was having a blast, so why should I care right?” She gave a bitter laugh. “But there was this one second when I peered up at Maya playing tag with other kids, running around the swing set. She was having so much fun…but there was this guy, I swear he was a beast…he kept swinging from side-to-side waiting for someone to pass by just to squash them. Maya ran past him, but by the time I realized what was going to happen, I was too far and too plastered to do anything about it.”
I wrinkled my nose, understanding why she had decided to tell me her story…
“But there was this other kid, he was just sitting alone on the park bench––he must have been I don’t know, eleven or twelve years old maybe? He saw her––he saw me. He knew she was going to get hurt and right before my sister got plummeted to the ground by this huge beef of a monster, he whisked her into his arms, saving her from what probably would have been a few cracked ribs.” Her lips curled into a warm smile once she saw my recognition. “I never got to say thank you.”
I shrugged. “With all due respect, Mrs. Phoenix––”
“Beverly. Please call me Beverly.”
I sighed. “Beverly, although I appreciate the trip down memory lane…”
I don’t, it’s a fucking lie…we’d just buried my own sister that day and I wanted to be alone.
“I don’t see the point to this conversation.”
She contemplated her next words as she regarded my bike. “The point is, Micah. This saving people thing; it’s anchored insid
e you. Don’t turn your back on it.”
“Hey, Lambert,” Aaryn called out, but I ignored her.
“You don’t understand…” I bit back at the woman standing in front of me. “I can’t stay here.”
“What about your fiancé? That family up there loves you.” It was surprising to hear how much the woman had managed to find out about my life in less than a few hours. “You’re making a mistake.”
My lips curled. “One more mistake to add to my list.”
“Except you’re going to regret this one.”
“With all due respect, I regret all of them.” My response was brutally honest. No matter who this woman thought she was, I chose to put my life into destiny’s hands to save her family. The least she could do was to be grateful and let me be.
“Do you?”
Aaryn appeared out from behind me and tossed me my chaps. “Are we going or what?”
“Today is Jason’s birthday. How about you come in and wish him a happy birthday,” Beverly offered. “He’d love to meet you and say thank you.”
“I’ll pass.”
Angry tears blurred her eyes. “He gets to celebrate another year because of you. Do you regret that?”
I didn’t reply.
“You saved a life, Micah. And if you––if you…” It took some time but she finally understood that no matter what she was going to say, I wasn’t going to change my mind. Her brows drew together. “Come back in a year.”
I frowned.
“Go do whatever you have to do, it’s more than obvious that there’s nothing I can say to hold you back. But you need to promise me that next year, on this exact date, you’ll come knocking on my door and repeat those words to me. If you do, I promise you I won’t tell the woman you love I saw you leave.”
Burn Me Anthology Page 56