by John Buchan
And then we went down to dinner.
Miss Barriton sat on my left hand, between Deloraine and me, and it was clear she was discontented with her position. Her eyes wandered down the table to Vennard, who had taken in an American duchess, and seemed to be amused at her prattle. She looked with complete disfavour at Deloraine, and turned to me as the lesser of two evils.
I was tactless enough to say that I thought there was a good deal in Lord Mulross’s view.
‘Oh, how can you?’ she cried. ‘Is there a close season for the wants of the people? It sounds to me perfectly horrible the way you talk of government, as if it were a game for idle men of the upper classes. I want professional politicians, men who give their whole heart and soul to the service of the State. I know the kind of member you and Lord Deloraine like — a rich young man who eats and drinks too much, and thinks the real business of life is killing little birds. He travels abroad and shoots some big game, and then comes home and rants about the Empire. He knows nothing about realities, and will go down before the men who take the world seriously.’
I am afraid I laughed, but Deloraine, who had been listening, was in no mood to be amused.
‘I don’t think you are quite fair to us, Miss Claudia,’ he said slowly. ‘We take things seriously enough, the things we know about. We can’t be expected to know about everything, and the misfortune is that the things I care about don’t interest you. But they are important enough for all that.’
‘Hush,’ said the lady rudely. ‘I want to hear what Mr Vennard is saying.’
Mr Vennard was addressing the dinner table as if it were a large public meeting. It was a habit he had, for he had no mind to confine the pearls of his wisdom to his immediate neighbours. His words were directed to Caerlaverock at the far end.
‘In my opinion this craze for the scientific standpoint is not merely overdone — it is radically vicious. Human destinies cannot be treated as if they were inert objects under the microscope. The cold-blooded logical way of treating a problem is in almost every case the wrong way. Heart and imagination to me are more vital than intellect. I have the courage to be illogical, to defy facts for the sake of an ideal, in the certainty that in time facts will fall into conformity. My creed may be put in the words of Newman’s favourite quotation: Non in dialectica complacuit Deo salvum facere populm suum — Not in cold logic is it God’s will that His people should find salvation.’
‘It is profoundly true,’ sighed Mr Cargill, and Miss Claudia’s beaming eyes proved her assent.
The moment of destiny, though I did not know it, had arrived. The entrée course had begun, and of the two entrees one was the famous Caerlaverock curry. Now on a hot July evening in London there are more attractive foods than curry seven times heated, more Indico. I doubt if any guest would have touched it, had not our host in his viceregal voice called the attention of the three Ministers to its merits, while explaining that under doctor’s orders he was compelled to refrain for a season. The result was that Mulross, Cargill, and Vennard alone of the men partook of it. Miss Claudia, alone of the women, followed suit in the fervour of her hero-worship. She ate a mouthful, and then drank rapidly two glasses of water.
My narrative of the events which followed is based rather on what I should have seen than on what I saw. I had not the key, and missed much which otherwise would have been plain to me. For example, if I had known the secret, I must have seen Miss Claudia’s gaze cease to rest upon Vennard and the adoration die out of her eyes. I must have noticed her face soften to the unhappy Deloraine. As it was, I did not remark her behaviour, till I heard her say to her neighbour,—’Can’t you get hold of Mr Vennard and forcibly cut his hair?’
Deloraine looked round with a start. Miss Barriton’s tone was intimate and her face friendly.
‘Some people think it picturesque,’ he said in serious bewilderment.
‘Oh yes, picturesque — like a hairdresser’s young man!’ She shrugged her shoulders. ‘He looks as if he had never been out of doors in his life.’
Now, whatever the faults of Tommy’s appearance, he had a wholesome sunburnt face, and he knew it. This speech of Miss Barriton’s cheered him enormously, for he argued that if she had fallen out of love with Vennard’s looks she might fall in love with his own. Being a philosopher in his way, he was content to take what the gods gave, and ask for no explanations.
I do not know how their conversation prospered, for my attention was distracted by the extraordinary behaviour of the Home Secretary. Mr Cargill had made himself notorious by his treatment of ‘political’ prisoners. It was sufficient in his eyes for a criminal to confess to political convictions to secure the most lenient treatment and a speedy release. The Irish patriot who cracked skulls in the Scotland Division of Liverpool, the Suffragist who broke windows and the noses of the police, the Social Democrat whose antipathy to the Tsar revealed itself in assaults upon the Russian Embassy, the ‘hunger-marchers’ who had designs on the British Museum — all were sure of respectful and tender handling. He had announced, more than once, amid tumultuous cheering, that he would never be the means of branding earnestness, however mistaken, with the badge of the felon.
He was talking, as I recall the scene, to Lady Lavinia Dobson, renowned in two hemispheres for her advocacy of women’s rights. And this was what I heard him say. His face had grown suddenly flushed and his eye bright, so that he looked liker than ever to a bookmaker who had had a good meeting. ‘No, no, my dear lady, I have been a lawyer, and it is my duty in office to see that the law, the palladium of British liberties, is kept sacrosanct. The law is no respecter of persons, and I intend that it shall be no respecter of creeds. If men or women break the laws, to jail they shall go, though their intentions were those of the Apostle Paul. We don’t punish them for being Socialists or Suffragists, but for breaking the peace. Why, goodness me, if we didn’t, we should have every malefactor in Britain claiming preferential treatment because he was a Christian Scientist or a Pentecostal Dancer.’
‘Mr Cargill, do you realise what you are saying?’ said Lady Lavinia with a scared face.
‘Of course I do. I am a lawyer, and may be presumed to know the law. If any other doctrine were admitted, the Empire would burst up in a fortnight.’
‘That I should live to hear you name that accursed name!’ cried the outraged lady. ‘You are denying your gods, Mr Cargill. You are forgetting the principles of a lifetime.’
Mr Cargill was becoming excited, and exchanging his ordinary Edinburgh-English for a broader and more effective dialect.
‘Tut, tut, my good wumman, I may be allowed to know my own principles best. I tell ye I’ve always maintained these views from the day when I first walked the floor of the Parliament House. Besides, even if I hadn’t, I’m surely at liberty to change if I get more light. Whoever makes a fetich of consistency is a trumpery body and little use to God or man. What ails ye at the Empire, too? Is it not better to have a big country than a kailyard, or a house in Grosvenor Square than a but-and-ben in Balham?’
Lady Lavinia folded her hands. ‘We slaughter our black fellow-citizens, we fill South Africa with yellow slaves, we crowd the Indian prisons with the noblest and most enlightened of the Indian race, and we call it Empire-building!’
‘No, we don’t,’ said Mr Cargill stoutly, ‘we call it common sense. That is the penal and repressive side of any great activity. D’ye mean to tell me that you never give your maid a good hearing? But would you like it to be said that you spent the whole of your days swearing at the wumman?’
‘I never swore in my life,’ said Lady Lavinia.
‘I spoke metaphorically,’ said Mr Cargill. ‘If ye cannot understand a simple metaphor, ye cannot understand the rudiments of politics.’ Picture to yourself a prophet who suddenly discovers that his God is laughing at him, a devotee whose saint winks and tells him that the devotion of years has been a farce, and you will get some idea of Lady Lavinia’s frame of mind. Her sallow face flushed, her lip tremb
led, and she slewed round as far as her chair would permit her. Meanwhile Mr Cargill, redder than before, went on contentedly with his dinner.
I was glad when my aunt gave the signal to rise. The atmosphere was electric, and all were conscious of it save the three Ministers, Deloraine, and Miss Claudia. Vennard seemed to be behaving very badly. He was arguing with Caerlaverock down the table, and the ex-Viceroy’s face was slowly getting purple. When the ladies had gone, we remained oblivious to wine and cigarettes, listening to this heated controversy which threatened any minute to end in a quarrel.
The subject was India, and Vennard was discoursing on the follies of all Viceroys.
‘Take this idiot we’ve got now,’ he declared. ‘He expects me to be a sort of wet-nurse to the Government of India and do all their dirty work for them. They know local conditions, and they have ample powers if they would only use them, but they won’t take an atom of responsibility. How the deuce am I to decide for them, when in the nature of things I can’t be half as well informed about the facts!’
‘Do you maintain,’ said Caerlaverock, stuttering in his wrath, ‘that the British Government should divest itself of responsibility for the government of our great Indian Dependency?’
‘Not a bit,’ said Vennard impatiently; ‘of course we are responsible, but that is all the more reason why the fellows who know the business at first hand should do their duty. If I am the head of a bank I am responsible for its policy, but that doesn’t mean that every local bank manager should consult me about the solvency of clients I never heard of. Faversham keeps bleating to me that the state of India is dangerous. Well, for God’s sake let him suppress every native paper, shut up the schools, and send every agitator to the Andamans. I’ll back him up all right. But don’t let him ask me what to do, for I don’t know.’
‘You think such a course would be popular?’ asked a large, grave man, a newspaper editor.
‘Of course it would,’ said Vennard cheerily. ‘The British public hates the idea of letting India get out of hand. But they want a lead. They can’t be expected to start the show any more than I can.’
Lord Caerlaverock rose to join the ladies with an air of outraged dignity. Vennard pulled out his watch and announced that he must get back to the House.
‘Do you know what I am going to do?’ he asked. ‘I am going down to tell Simpson what I think of him. He gets up and prates of having been forty years in India. Well, I am going to tell him that it is to him and his forty-year lot that all this muddle is due. Oh, I assure you, there’s going to be a row,’ said Vennard, as he struggled into his coat.
Mulross had been sitting next to me, and I asked him if he was leaving town. ‘I wish I could,’ he said, ‘but I fear I must stick on over the Twelfth. I don’t like the way that fellow von Kladow has been talking. He’s up to no good, and he’s going to get a flea in his ear before he is very much older.’
Cheerfully, almost hilariously, the three Ministers departed, Vennard and Cargill in a hansom, and Mulross on foot. I can only describe the condition of those left behind as nervous prostration. We looked furtively at each other, each afraid to hint his suspicions, but all convinced that a surprising judgement had befallen at least two members of His Majesty’s Government. For myself I put the number at three, for I did not like to hear a respected Whig Foreign Secretary talk about giving the Chancellor of a friendly but jealous Power a flea in his ear.
The only unperplexed face was Deloraine’s. He whispered to me that Miss Barriton was going on to the Alvanleys’ ball, and had warned him to be there. ‘She hasn’t been to a dance for months, you know,’ he said. ‘I really think things are beginning to go a little better, old man.’
III
When I opened my paper next morning I read two startling pieces of news. Lord Mulross had been knocked down by a taxi-cab on his way home the night before, and was now in bed suffering from a bad shock and a bruised ankle. There was no cause for anxiety, said the report, but his lordship must keep his room for a week or two.
The second item, which filled leading articles and overflowed into ‘Political Notes’, was Mr Vennard’s speech. The Secretary for India had gone down about eleven o’clock to the House, where an Indian debate was dragging out its slow length. He sat himself on the Treasury Bench and took notes, and the House soon filled in anticipation of his reply. His ‘tail’ - progressive young men like himself - were there in full strength, ready to cheer every syllable which fell from their idol. Somewhere about half-past twelve he rose to wind up the debate, and the House was treated to an unparalleled sensation. He began with his critics, notably the unfortunate Simpson, and, pretty much in Westbury’s language to the herald, called them silly old men who did not understand their silly old business. But it was the reasons he gave for this abuse which left his followers aghast. He attacked his critics not for being satraps and reactionaries, but because they had dared to talk second-rate Western politics in connection with India. ‘Have you lived for forty years with your eyes shut,’ he cried, ‘that you cannot see the differences between a Bengali, married at fifteen and worshipping a pantheon of savage gods, and the university-extension young Radical at home? There is a thousand years between them, and you dream of annihilating the centuries with a little dubious popular science!’ Then he turned to the other critics of Indian administration - his quondam supporters. He analysed the character of these ‘members for India’ with a vigour and acumen which deprived them of speech. The East, he said, had had its revenge upon the West by making certain Englishmen babus. His honourable friends had the same slipshod minds, and they talked the same pigeon-English, as the patriots of Bengal. Then his mood changed, and he delivered a solemn warning against what he called ‘the treason begotten of restless vanity and proved incompetence’. He sat down, leaving a House deeply impressed and horribly mystified.
The Times did not know what to make of it at all. In a weighty leader it welcomed Mr Vennard’s conversion, but hinted that with a convert’s zeal he had slightly overstated his case. The Daily Chronicle talked of ‘nervous breakdown’, and suggested ‘kindly forgetfulness’ as the best treatment. The Daily News, in a spirited article called ‘The Great Betrayal’, washed its hands of Mr Vennard unless he donned the white sheet of the penitent. Later in the day I got the Westminster Gazette, and found an ingenious leader which proved that the speech in no way conflicted with Liberal principles, and was capable of a quite ordinary explanation. Then I went to see Lady Caerlaverock.
I found my aunt almost in tears.
‘What has happened?’ she cried. ‘What have we done that we should be punished in this awful way? And to think that the blow fell in this house? Caerlaverock - we all - thought Mr Vennard so strange last night, and Lady Lavinia told me that Mr Cargill was perfectly horrible. I suppose it must be the heat and the strain of the session. And that poor Lord Mulross, who was always so wise, should be stricken down at this crisis!’
I did not say that I thought Mulross’s accident a merciful dispensation. I was far more afraid of him than of all the others, for if with his reputation for sanity he chose to run amok, he would be taken seriously. He was better in bed than affixing a flea to von Kladow’s ear.
‘Caerlaverock was with the Prime Minister this morning,’ my aunt went on. ‘He is going to make a statement in the Lords tomorrow to try to cover Mr Vennard’s folly. They are very anxious about what Mr Cargill will do today. He is addressing the National Convention of Young Liberals at Oldham this afternoon, and though they have sent him a dozen telegrams they can get no answer. Caerlaverock went to Downing Street an hour ago to get news.’
There was the sound of an electric brougham stopping in the square below, and we both listened with a premonition of disaster. A minute later Caerlaverock entered the room, and with him the Prime Minister. The cheerful, eupeptic countenance of the latter was clouded with care. He shook hands dismally with my aunt, nodded to me, and flung himself down on a sofa.
‘The wo
rst has happened,’ Caerlaverock boomed solemnly. ‘Cargill has been incredibly and infamously silly.’ He tossed me an evening paper.
One glance convinced me that the Convention of Young Liberals had had a waking-up. Cargill had addressed them on what he called the true view of citizenship. He had dismissed manhood suffrage as an obsolete folly. The franchise, he maintained, should be narrowed and given only to citizens, and his definition of citizenship was military training combined with a fairly high standard of rates and taxes. I do not know how the Young Liberals received this creed, but it had no sort of success with the Prime Minister.
‘We must disavow him,’ said Caerlaverock.
‘He is too valuable a man to lose,’ said the Prime Minister. ‘We must hope that it is only a temporary aberration. I simply cannot spare him in the House.’
‘But this is flat treason.’
‘I know, I know. It is all too horrible, and utterly unexpected. But the situation wants delicate handling, my dear Caerlaverock. I see nothing for it but to give out that he was ill.’
‘Or drunk?’ I suggested.
The Prime Minister shook his head sadly. ‘I fear it will be the same thing. What we call illness the ordinary man will interpret as intoxication. It is a most regrettable necessity, but we must face it.’
The harassed leader rose, seized the evening paper, and departed as swiftly as he had come. ‘Remember, illness,’ were his parting words. ‘An old heart trouble, which is apt to affect his brain. His friends have always known about it.’
I walked home, and looked in at the Club on my way. There I found Deloraine devouring a hearty tea and looking the picture of virtuous happiness.
‘Well, this is tremendous news,’ I said, as I sat down beside him.