by Bonnie Lamer
I’m not able to move backward, but I find I can move sideways. I’m still being sucked up with the others, but gradually I’m able to move closer to Ophaniel. When I’m in hearing range, I ask, “What’s happening?”
Ophaniel’s eyes turn in my direction. “The Thrones have awakened from their long slumber.”
The Thrones? In my mind, I imagine mighty chairs rising from their stone dais. In this mental image, the chairs also have large mouths with straws which they are using to suck on really hard to create this vacuum. I suspect I’m not conjuring up the correct images here.
Opening my mouth to ask, my voice is literally sucked from my throat. The vacuum is growing stronger. Which means we must be nearing the source.
Resignation sets in around us. There is very little struggling now. The only movement that isn’t forward is groups trying to move closer to each other like I did with Ophaniel. I move away from the Cherub so I can return to my group. If we’re nearing the source, it’s more important to be with them and offer whatever protection I can than interrogate an Angel who isn’t likely to answer my questions anyway. Zyla and Xavion are on either side of me now. Kallen is flying next to my head, and Isla is right behind me. Kegan and Keelan are resting their wings and riding on the kids’ backs.
“Jump on,” I tell Kallen. I can tell his wings are tired from struggling against the vacuum. Mine are, too, but they’re a lot bigger than his.
He hesitates. My husband doesn’t want to show any weakness. Fortunately, common sense takes over. We don’t know what’s coming. It’s best for him to rest while he can. I’d make the same offer to Isla, but considering she weighs probably as much as I do in her current form, I don’t think that would be a good idea.
Kallen makes his way to me and perches between my horse ears. He’s careful that his talons don’t dig into my skin. Instead, he curls them into my mane for leverage. I can feel vibrations of movement each time his raven head swivels back and forth as he keeps an eye out for danger. From his viewpoint, he can easily warn the others if someone is sneaking up from behind to attack.
Attacking each other doesn’t seem to be on anyone’s mind anymore, though. Warriors from both sides are facing forward, both in defensive and offensive positions. Depending on the personality involved. Everyone is generally more worried that there are greater things to fear from where we are going than from any foe among us. After all, anyone with the ability to just scoop up all these powerful beings is a possible threat to everyone.
The sky around us darkens, but it doesn’t feel like night. It takes on a beautiful, bright sapphire tone, and stars begin to appear. Stars that seem a lot closer than normal. Are we leaving the Earth’s atmosphere? I inhale deeply, testing the oxygen level in the air. After several deep breaths, I determine that I can’t tell if the oxygen levels are dropping or not. My shortness of breath is probably caused more by fear than anything else.
“Are we in space?” Zac asks in wonder.
“I believe it is an illusion,” Tabitha tells him. She’s trying to convince herself as much as him.
When a not so distant star blinks, I suspect she’s right. I don’t mean blinks like a twinkling light. I mean it blinks. Like an eye. In fact, it is an eye. And the eye has friends. Several more open their lids. These things are huge. I assume they’re different beings because each has its own unique iris color. My heart begins to race and with a head gesture, I encourage the kids to move in closer. What crazy land did we enter where there are giant blinking eyes in the sky?
Apparently, not everyone is at a loss. The Cherubim and the Seraphim are the first to bow their heads in reverence. As understanding sparks in the eyes of the other Angels, they do the same.
“Bow your heads,” Isla hisses from behind me. Whether she gives this instruction because she has a clue as to what is going on or because the Angels are doing it, I’m not sure. But it seems like a great idea. Our group follows the lead of the Angels.
In the Paradise Lost notes that Raziel left us, I thought the line grasping ten thousand thunders was a reference to Zeus. I was wrong. When the blinking eyes finally decide to speak, it is with rumbling, deep voices that definitely have the pitch and volume of ten thousand thunders. Remarkable how they can do this without mouths. I want to cover my ears, but I know deep in my heart how disrespectful that would be. Even if it means our ears start bleeding after just a few minutes of this. Especially since it is obvious that the voice is showing restraint in both pitch and volume in an effort to not cause us undue harm. I thought it was all for the mortals until I notice a few Angels clasping their hands together to keep themselves from covering their own ears.
“Ophaniel, Keeper of the Thrones, why have we been wrested from our slumber?” all the giant eyes demand at once.
Ophaniel lifts her head and addresses the eyes. “As Guardians of Cosmic Law, only you have the power to mete out true Divine Justice.”
The eyes take a minute to respond as they consider her words. They spend this time eyeing all of us. Literally. Wow, I thought Mom and Isla had stares that could make me squirm. They have nothing on giant eyes who can mete out Divine Justice.
I’m certain these eyes see everything and are not only assessing our souls for past crimes, but also the potential for future ones. When the eyes finally finish sizing us all up, they say to no one in particular, “Make your case.” Something tells me they are just going through the motions here. After that lengthy assessment, I think they already made up their minds.
But Ophaniel plays along. “The Seraph Johoel, after a failed attempt to bring forth his own semi-mortal offspring, has taken it upon himself to usurp others.”
“Lies!” Johoel cries. When all the giant eyes turn in his direction, he clamps his lips together to hold back the next words he was going to spew in his outburst. Wise choice on his part. I’m not sure who the giant eyes are, but with the power they’ve already shown, I doubt even a Seraph stands a chance of surviving their wrath.
Now, a sick feeling makes its way into my belly as the meaning of Ophaniel’s words burrows into my brain. Since Hera took away my morning sickness, I’m certain it has nothing to do with my pregnancy and everything to do with disgust. The words reverberate in my brain. A failed attempt to bring forth his own semi-mortal offspring. Considering how uncommon it would be for a Seraph to seek out a mortal for company, the possibilities of who it could be are limited. Likely to just one. Haniel told me that my doppelganger seduced Johoel in her search for power. But was it really the other way around? If so, why? It doesn’t make sense. Why would he try to get her pregnant? If he considers my children to be a danger to the universe, why would he want to bring more children like them into being? Possibly even more powerful children since he’s a Seraph. It doesn’t make any sense at all. At least, not yet. A big part of me hopes it stays that way because I know I won’t like his reasons if that is what happened.
It seems I’m destined to know the answer despite my wanting otherwise. When the giant eyes are convinced that Johoel is going to hold his tongue, they speak again. “For what purpose?” they ask Ophaniel. Again, fairly certain they’re just going through the motions here. I think they know a lot more than they’re letting on despite saying they just woke up.
Ophaniel continues to play along even if she believes the same thing. “Forbidden by Divine Law to interfere in the realms of mortals, Johoel plans to sidestep the law by molding these children into instruments of chaos and destruction. He will bestow upon them Divine Grace and wield them as mighty weapons. He seeks to usurp their freewill and force his own agenda upon them. They will become monsters. Unstoppable forces who will destroy most that they come upon in the mortal realm and assume control of the rest.”
No. This can’t be true. My head swivels back and forth between my children as my panic grows. Even in their Pegasus forms, I can tell that they are just as shocked as I am. The Council was never coming for them. They were never in danger of being wiped from existence.
Just the opposite. The plan was to kidnap them and force them to become weapons of mass destruction. Johoel wants to use them, use their power, to rid the universe of mortals. All mortals. A plan that once revolved around my doppelganger and the offspring he tried to have with her. With that plan foiled, he set his sights on my children. I really need to throw up now. I can’t keep swallowing all this bile back down my throat. I continue to try, but it feels like a losing battle.
Another thought hits me. That’s why Ophaniel asked the question she did when Rashnu showed up to swear her allegiance. Then she had the others swear to the same thing. Ophaniel was warning them that despite how much they are loved, the kids could still be corrupted by Divine Grace. She was warning us all that if Johoel gets his hands on them, the kids could be coerced into betraying us and our unconditional love. Their power combined with Divine Grace would be virtually impossible to defeat by mere mortals, and almost impossible for everyone else. Not to mention that Divine Grace damages the mind of a semi-mortal being. They would likely go insane.
Is that how it worked with my doppelganger? Is it possible that she didn’t start out evil? Was her mind warped by Johoel’s Divine Grace way before she committed all those horrible deeds? How I despised her. But maybe I should have pitied her. Was it all Johoel’s evil plan? Wow. I thought I hated Johoel before. Every molecule in my body is vibrating with it now. If I don’t rein it in, I might shatter into a million pieces.
Around Johoel, the Angels who stood with him during the battle begin to squirm. From their expressions, it’s easy to tell that this information is a little different than what the Seraph originally told them. If that’s the case, I wonder how he got around the whole ‘Angels can’t lie’ thing? Or maybe that doesn’t really apply to the Seraphim? Whatever it was, most of the Angels on his side don’t want to stand with him if his ultimate goal is the destruction of mortal life. That’s not what they signed up for.
Most of them. I look deeper into the assembly of Angels. From the mixed expressions among them, I can tell that there are Angels who don’t hate the idea. It seems that some of them at the very least they don’t believe mortals should have free will. They think Angels should rule them over them. The killing part may not be ideal for them, but I bet a few would get on board with little convincing. Which means those Angels are still a threat that needs to be addressed, even if they aren’t standing behind Johoel anymore. Anyone who wants to take away someone else’s freewill is dangerous.
My gaze circles back to our side. I find Tabbris in the crowd, and I suddenly feel a tiny bit sorry for those Angels. The fury and calculation in her expression doesn’t bode well for them. If they giant eyes don’t take care of the situation, Tabbris is already putting together ideas for their punishments. The chance of the Angels surviving any of her ideas seems slim to none.
When Ophaniel finishes speaking, the giant eye closest to Johoel focuses on him again. Giving the Seraph a chance to defend himself, the eye asks, “What say you?”
Straightening his shoulders, Johoel addresses his followers as much as the eye when he says, “The Cherubim owe a debt to these mortals. Ophaniel is twisting the truth to gain them favor to repay this debt.” So, he knows that we saved Ophaniel and the rest from the deadly magic placed inside them. Magic he likely cast. Strange that he would mention this since his own crime in that situation is going to come up.
I’m not the only one who thinks so. Ophaniel’s lips curl into a frightening snarl. Disgusted, she snaps, “You use your own betrayal as your defense?”
“You believe I am the one who set out to cause you harm?” Johoel smirks. “Look within your own ranks to discover the truth.”
No. That can’t be true. He’s just trying to deflect. He wants us to focus on someone else instead of him. But I already know I’m fooling myself with these thoughts. That sick feeling growing inside me intensifies. The bile is likely burning quarter size holes in my esophagus now as I battle it back by sheer force of will.
I can’t fight back the truth, though. My internal lie detector isn’t giving any indication that Johoel is lying. Which means we do have a betrayer in our midst. I sigh and turn to look for her in the crowd. There she is, right where I knew she would be. Looking guilty, too. At least she has the decency to stop trying to hide her betrayal.
Mine aren’t the only eyes turning in her direction. As soon as Johoel spoke the words, we all knew it could only be one Angel. She’s the only Seraph supposedly fighting on our side. So, it’s easy to figure out she is the one who betrayed the Cherubim. I’d marvel at her acting skills if rage and dread weren’t stomping any possible admiration for them into oblivion. How else has she betrayed us, I wonder.
“You?” Ophaniel asks in horror. Even she was fooled by the Seraph.
“Yes,” Haniel admits. The shame and grief that washes over her face makes it difficult to remember that she’s the Seraph of Joy.
“Why?” Ophaniel demands. It is taking everything the Cherub has not to attack the Seraph and rip her into pieces so tiny, even an electron microscope wouldn’t be able to find traces of her existence.
Unable to face the betrayal in Ophaniel’s eyes, Haniel focuses on me instead. Shaking her head, her next words spew a vat of loathing in my direction. “I watched you transform into a vile, evil being. You turned your back on the Angels and all we taught you about what is just and right. You struck out at mortals as if they were nothing more than playthings to destroy once you finished amusing yourself with them. You think yourself so strong, so virtuous. Yet it took hardly any effort on Johoel’s part to turn you ugly.”
Rage practically blinds me now. No. She’s wrong. I will not take responsibility for what a different version of me did. One living in wildly different circumstances. We were not the same person. “That wasn’t me,” I grind out.
“They are all you,” Haniel hisses vehemently. A healthy amount of spittle flies from her mouth as she speaks, and those around her lean back to avoid the spray. Jabbing her finger in my direction, Haniel continues, “Each incarnation, down to the very last cell, is you. Each version of you has the same potential for evil. I fought for you, defended you. But Johoel showed me that you’re just as weak as the other mortals. You can’t be trusted with freewill any more than they can.”
We’re back to that nature vs. nurture argument again. “No, you’re wrong,” I respond evenly. I force myself to remain calm, despite the rage her words incite inside me. Yelling and screaming my defense would be the wrong thing to do here. That would make me seem defensive instead of confident in my words. “I would never do the things she did. That was not me. I fought against her and helped stop her. Not once did I think about joining her. I fought her because I despised the things she was doing, and I wouldn’t let her bring her depravity into the universe I live in. We were not the same person no matter how much alike we looked. I could never be led down that path of evil. By anyone.”
My words are emphatic, and I mean them with every fiber of my being. But my brain is still whirling in the shadows of my consciousness. Under the same conditions, and with help from Johoel’s brain-warping Divine Grace, could I become her? I can’t help a quick glance around at my family. Without their love and support, could I be led astray like my doppelganger was? My eyes land on Dagda and the fierceness of his expression startles me a little.
Taking a step forward, my father points an accusing finger at the Seraph of Joy. “You are wrong,” Dagda snarls at Haniel. “My daughter is incapable of betraying those she loves. She would die before she would let him,” he points at Johoel now, “or any of you lead her down a dark path. I should know. In my darkest days, I tried to bend her to my will. I wanted her to use her power to control and coerce. She stood against me, and she was right to do so. It was Xandra who saved me from my dark path. Not once was she tempted by it. She does not want the power and control over others that she could obtain with her magic. You obviously know nothing of my daughter. So, you can spew all the poisono
us words you want, but all it will prove is that you are the one who was led astray by Johoel. He convinced you with one example that all must be bad. Then he convinced you to betray your own. How stupid does that make you?”
Before I can signal to Dagda that he should probably watch what he’s saying to a Seraph, who could smite him with little thought or effort, a cacophony of voices erupts from the rest of my family. Each and every one of them offers up a similar defense for me. Their voices climb over one another, reasoning out why I could never be anything like my doppelganger. They also claim that I could never raise children who didn’t follow the same moral compass that I have. My eyes fill with tears as I listen to them. Their courage to defend me while they stand here before the most powerful beings in the universe is nothing short of amazing. If I could love them more than I already do, which is impossible because I already love them to infinity and back, I would in this moment.
Suddenly, a rush of power washes over our group, cutting off the noise. When the magic pulls back, we stare down at ourselves in shock. We’re all back to our normal forms. Those who were riding on the backs of someone else are now standing next to them. Which is a little scary since there isn’t anything resembling the ground beneath our feet. Even those of us who didn’t suffer from acrophobia before coming here are feeling its effects now. My head spins a little when I look down and find nothing visible holding me up. But we don’t go anywhere. We don’t fall into the nothingness below us. Apparently, the eyes are holding us in place. It even feels like we have solid ground below our feet even though all we can see is air. Still terrifying.