Now, I was even smaller than Ashley thanks to the scraps I was given to eat, my muscles withering away from the small space I was cooped up in, and the lack of sunlight making my once golden skin appear ghostly.
The house was quiet, just as I knew it would be. He only brought me up to shower when it was empty. I have no idea why, though. His mousey wife knew about me, not that she would ever do anything about it. She worshipped the ground he walked on. The first time she trailed behind him down the steps, her eyes widening when she spotted me cowering on my mattress, I thought she would help me. I thought she would save me. I thought wrong.
The one time that she came down to the basement by herself, bringing me a piece of toast and lukewarm water as my only nourishment for the day, I pleaded with her to help me escape. I promised that I wouldn’t tell anyone what happened if she would just let me go. “Quit talking to me, whore,” she snapped, pushing the toast roughly toward me before stomping back up the stairs and slamming the door so hard that it rattled on its hinges.
He stopped outside the bathroom door, pointing to his watch. “You have five minutes. No funny business.” One bushy eyebrow raised and I nodded before lowering my head to stare at my shuffling feet.
“Yes, sir.”
That was what I knew him as—Sir. Nothing else. I guess in case I ever did escape so I wouldn’t be able to tell anyone who had taken me. He said it was a sign of respect that I needed to have for him, so I kept my choice of names for him to myself.
I bumped into the door as I passed him, jumping back so he didn’t think I was trying to shut it. He learned quickly not to let me shower with the door closed because then I got ideas in my head and they weren’t good ones. I was almost halfway out the window, my freedom in sight, when he caught me. That had earned me a jarring slap across the face, my body flying across the tiny space of the bathroom, once he had yanked me down.
I showered quickly, making sure to keep only the cold water on like he required. I lathered the fragrance-free shampoo through my hair and over my body before rinsing and shutting off the water. Whores weren’t allowed perfumed shampoos or body washes. Everything was sterile, reminding me of a hospital.
I wrapped my towel around me before bending over to pick up my discarded clothes and sliding back into them. They were only to be washed once a week. At least I didn’t have to worry about him watching me as I showered and redressed with the open door. He didn’t even peek. The first few days, I feared that was why he took me, feared he would use my body until he broke me. But he didn’t.
“Go on.” He pushed on my back once I stepped into the hallway, guiding me toward the hellhole, and I obliged. “I’ll be back later tonight with your supper and another lesson.”
“Yes, sir,” I replied before stepping down the stairs and re-entering my own personal nightmare. My only reprieve coming during sleep, dreaming of what could’ve been and what already was, and the future that had been ripped away from me in the blink of an eye for no reason. The dreams were what I held onto; they were my escape.
If only I could never wake up again.
CHAPTER 3
Then
“Come here, beautiful girl.”
I giggled as Austin yanked on my hips, pulling me on top of him. I buried my nose against his chest, breathing him in as I listened to the steady thrum of his heart while he ran his fingers through my hair.
It was our first morning waking up next to each other, and I still couldn’t get over the fact that we had just moved in together. My parents weren’t too crazy about the fact that I literally moved in with him the day after I graduated from high school, but I was hoping they would warm up to the idea. Eventually.
His hands stilled and I lay on his chest for a few minutes longer before peeking one eye up, thinking that he had fallen asleep. “What are you doing?” I asked, when I found his ocean blue eyes trained on me.
“I can’t just stare at my girl?”
I snorted, burying my head back into his chest. Even after a few years of dating, I wasn’t used to him treating me like I was the only girl in the world. Austin told me almost every second of the day how beautiful I was and what he loved about me.
“I guess if you want to,” I grumbled into his shirt and his chest vibrated with laughter before his hands were pulling me upward and his body was rolling over mine until he was on top, staring down at me with that intense look of his.
“If I want to?” he questioned, shaking his head once before grabbing my wrists and pinning them against the bed. “There is no want about it, Emmy. I need to. And I need to do this.”
His head dipped down, his mouth crushing against mine, and the moan that escaped my lips was swallowed up by him as our tongues tangled. He broke the kiss to slip my already-soaked panties down and then slid his boxers off. He hitched my leg up against his waist before pushing himself fully in, rocking his hips as I stretched and adjusted to him.
“I love you, my beautiful girl,” he murmured against my skin as he peppered kisses across my forehead before trailing his lips to each of my eyelids.
My nails dug into his back as he picked up the pace and I peeled my eyes open so I could look at his handsome face, staring down at me with so much love and adoration that I couldn’t even begin to describe. One hand moved to brush back my hair and the other squeezed my hip. Every touch to my body made my skin tingle and my head spin. I blinked a couple of times, making sure that this was real. This was my life.
I wouldn’t change it for anything.
I moaned when Austin reached down, flicking my clit, and I screamed as I completely unraveled. His thrusting grew more frenzied, and grunting and squeezing his eyes shut, he found his own release before collapsing on top of me.
“Always and forever,” he murmured, his warm breath tickling my ear as he wrapped me in his arms and we became one.
CHAPTER 4
Now
Wetness glided down my cheek but I didn’t bother to wipe it away. I knew there was only more to come. That was one of the dreams that seemed to play over and over again, a reminder of what I could’ve had and what would never be. A future with Austin, thinking about grew to be my own personal torture, but I embraced it every day.
My throat tightened as the tears streamed down my face, and I licked my lips to moisten my dry mouth. I’m not sure how I even had any tears left in me, but somehow they continued to fall, especially when my dreams were filled with memories of Austin.
Of course, happy memories weren’t the only things filling my nights. Sometimes, nightmares and blackness or things that I couldn’t remember, no matter how hard I tried, plagued me. I felt like my life was slowly slipping away. I shook my head, trying to rid it of the heaviness weighing me down.
I hadn’t seen anyone in days, if I was counting correctly. No voices or footsteps creaking above me, either. Maybe they just left me here to die. I flopped back onto the mattress, chewing on the thought of being left to die in peace, and right at that moment, I heard the lock being turned and heavy footsteps clomping down the stairs. It was him. I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or not.
“Whore,” he greeted, tapping the book in his hands. “Ready to begin?”
That he actually asked left me stumped. He never had before, and I was always compliant. But this was different. I didn’t know if it was because I was ready to give up or what, but I figured I might as well go out with a bang.
“No, I’m not.” His bushy gray eyebrows shot up and his jaw tightened. “And I’m not a whore.”
His face grew red as he took a step closer to where I sat on the mattress, my arms crossed defiantly over my chest as I locked my narrowed my eyes on his. His anger radiated as he moved one hand upward, and I braced myself for what was to come, but nothing ever did.
“Anyone who fornicates in a public place is a whore. And dressed like you were?” He snorted. “Can’t you see I’m only trying to help you?”
“By taking me away from everyone I love? That ma
n was my fiancé!” My voice broke at that word and I looked down at my bare finger. He had made sure to remove my ring along with everything else I owned. “That doesn’t make me a whore. Haven’t you ever done anything out of character?”
“I know the truth and so does He,” he spit out, ignoring my question, and opened the book that he was holding. “Now, listen up. I’ll be making sure you paid attention afterward.”
I let my mind drift as he rattled on, something I normally didn’t do, but I was losing hope. I just didn’t care anymore.
“Did you listen to anything I just said, whore?”
My shoulders were shaken, my whole body jostled, and it took me a minute to realize his hands were the cause. “Wake up!”
He held up one finger, wagging it in my face. “You’ll pay for not listening. I’m done trying with you. You’re on your own from here on out. Good riddance.”
With that, he spun away from me, stomped up the stairs, and slammed the door, clicking the lock back into place. Seconds later, my lone source of lighting was cut, something that was inevitable, and I blinked rapidly to adjust my eyes to the darkness.
I was all alone.
CHAPTER 5
Then
“Emmy,” my mom gasped, pressing a hand against her mouth and my eyes filled with tears. “I just love it, sweetie. You look so beautiful.”
“Really?” I ran my fingers over the white tulle and finally allowed myself to look in the mirror. I had to do a double take at the reflection. Even I’m amazed at how I look.
“Of course, honey. You have to get this one.”
“Mom, this is the first one I’ve tried on.” I studied myself carefully in the mirror, looking at the dress from all angles. “And I want Ashley’s opinion so I’m not deciding today.”
“Where is she? I thought for sure she would be here to see you try on dresses. She is your maid of honor after all.”
“Something came up and she couldn’t make it.” I waved off Ashley’s absence, even though I was more than disappointed.
“Well, I think this is the one, but you should try on the others you picked out. You better hurry and decide though since you’re in such a hurry to get married. Are you sure six months is enough time to plan a wedding?”
“Yes, Mom. It’s plenty of time. We’re not planning anything too fancy. And you said you would help, right?”
“Of course, sweetie. I just want you to be able to enjoy the experience and not feel rushed. Your father and I love Austin and whatever we can do to help, we will.”
“Good,” I pushed out a breath and smiled when our store attendant came over with her hands full of lacy veils, “because I’m starting to get a little overwhelmed. I already have my bridesmaids dresses picked out. We decided on the beach for the ceremony, but we need to figure out where we’re having the reception. Then the food, the cake, the DJ, decorations . . . I’m sure I’m missing about a million different things.”
“Nothing too fancy?” One eyebrow popped up and I got that knowing Mom look. “It sounds like you’re already stressed, sweetie. Try not to be; in the end, all that matters is you and Austin. Everything else will fall into place.”
“I sure hope so,” I muttered, a smile creeping onto my face at the mention of Austin. I was going to be his wife. It was a little surreal but I couldn’t wait.
***
“I’m so ready for our pre-wedding honeymoon!” I giggled when Austin picked me up to swing me around in a circle before setting me on the hood of his car.
“Me too.” His lips brushed against my ear as he settled in between my thighs and his lips began to travel over my face—my forehead, my eyelids, and then sliding down to my nose. I tipped my head back, a moan escaping when he grabbed my hips and pulled me harder against him.
“Umm . . . .” I took a big gulp, licking my lips. “Aren’t we supposed to be leaving?” We were doing things a little backward with having the honeymoon before the wedding, but it was just how our schedules worked out. We had done everything else backward in our relationship anyway, so why not continue the tradition?
Austin laughed against my collarbone where those lips of his were currently working some magic, making me want him to rip my clothes off and have him right on the hood of his car. “I guess we should,” he said, planting one more kiss before he pulled away and held a hand out to help me down. “We’ve got a little bit of a drive and we need to get there before six.”
“Why?”
“Don’t you worry about that.” He tapped me on the nose before jogging over to the driver’s side and I grumbled as I slid into my seat, pouting like a two-year-old because I knew, no matter how much I bothered him, he wouldn’t tell me. His phone beeped in his pocket and I watched his face, scrunching my eyebrows together as he checked the screen. Something flashed across his face that I couldn’t quite put my finger on, mixed with a hint of anger before he stuck it back into his pocket.
“Is something the matter?”
“Nah, just the usual from the restaurant.” He smirked, shaking his head before he cranked up the music and headed out of the parking lot of our apartment complex. I couldn’t focus on whatever that was for long, Austin’s off-key singing made it difficult, and pretty soon I was joining in to the eighties rock that he lived by as we cruised along to our destination.
We’d been planning this trip together for the past month. Sure, we lived by the beach but it was still nice just to get away sometimes. So, after a lot of finagling, I was able to get four days off from the dealership where I worked the front desk, and he was able to get some time off from the restaurant that he managed.
His hand landed on my thigh just as he hit a high note and I laughed, pushing my head back against the seat. I was beyond happy with Austin, words really couldn’t describe the euphoric high that I was on with him in my life, and in a little less than a month, he would be my husband. That seemed so weird to think, but I couldn’t wait.
Our drive passed by quickly with just two stops. We decided to stick pretty close to home but we picked a more touristy spot than our little speck on the map. I didn’t mind being in the car with Austin one bit, but I was ready to get our pre-honeymoon started. We didn’t get much time to relax, though, because as soon as we checked in at the hotel and brought our bags up to our room, he gave me ten minutes to get ready. He was pulling on my arm and directing me back to the car. I groaned as I re-buckled my seatbelt.
“We won’t be in the car long, I promise.”
“All right.” I pushed a smile on to my lips, staring out the window, taking in my new surroundings as they whizzed by. Before long, he pulled into a mostly empty parking lot across from a beach close to the edge of town. We both slipped off our shoes when we hit the sand and he ushered me over to a lone table that was set up near the tide, underneath a canopy strung with twinkling white lights. A basket was centered in the middle and Austin pulled out my chair, helping me sit down, before he started to unpack the contents and dish them out onto the waiting plates.
“How in the world did you plan this?” I asked, watching as he poured wine into our glasses. “This is amazing.”
A crooked smirk stretched over his face as he lit the candles that were wedged into the sand surrounding the canopy in a circle. I knew how sweet Austin could be, but this was beyond anything I had ever expected out of him. He pulled out his phone before sitting down, turning on some low music before scooping up my hand and pressing a kiss to my palm.
“I have my ways, but you don’t need to worry about that.”
We ended up staying on the beach for hours, long after the candles burned down and everyone lying on the sand or playing in the surf disappeared. Austin wrapped his arms around me, and we watched the waves crash and talked about our future well into the night. I couldn’t wait to get started with our forever after.
CHAPTER 6
Now
I blinked several times, my eyes readjusting to the darkness, and I groaned when I realized that i
t was still the middle of the night. I could only sleep for so long before my body fought with me and wouldn’t let me keep my eyes shut any longer. I pressed a finger to my still tingling lips before I rolled to my side, the thought of not being next to Austin and probably never seeing him or anyone else that I loved sitting heavy on my chest, making me gasp for air.
The panic attacks had gotten worse since he left me alone the other day. He hadn’t returned for lessons yet. Most of the time, I was able to get through my attacks, but once it was so bad that I knew I needed help. I banged on the bottom step with the palm of my hand as hard as I could. My vision blurred with blackness before he finally came down. In that moment, I wasn’t worried about what kind of punishment I would receive.
“What’s all that racket, whore?” he snapped before looking down at me. I swear, a look of concern flashed across his face before he stooped down, grabbing onto my wrist, and dragged me toward the toilet that sat in the corner and splashed some of the water from the bowl on my face. I sputtered as the water broke me from the haze, thankful that he had saved me. I still wanted to live.
Now, I wasn’t so sure.
My breathing began to slow, the weight on my chest lifting slightly, and I sat up as it slowly disintegrated. That one wasn’t so bad and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I was giving up and it would be easier if my time here would just end. I couldn’t take much more. Everything in me ached, and the only medicine I had was my dreams, though sometimes, they just made things worse.
Memories of what my life had been made me miss it even more. I’d never believed it before when I heard that people could die from a broken heart, but every day that I remained captive, I was starting to believe it possible.
Angels & Sinners: The Motor City Edition Page 13