by Terry Towers
I didn’t bother to knock. Instead I tried the door and it opened. “Darrin,” I called out as I entered his place, looking for a sign of him. I came up empty. His boots and uniform jacket were in their usual spots, however.
Perhaps he and Layla had gone out? That wasn’t beyond the realm of possibilities, as she’d been ignoring my texts and calls all evening as well, which was unlike her. As I approached the bedroom, I detected the sound of soft snores.
“Darrin?” As I entered the bedroom, I stopped dead in my tracks and stared.
“Nate?” my brother answered as he slowly sat up on the bed and wiped at his eyes.
“What in the fuck did I miss out on?” I looked down from Darrin to see Layla’s naked body curled up against him, sending rage through me. We’d had a fucking agreement. We’d never told her about the agreement, but she wasn’t stupid. She must have known something was up when neither one of us would sleep with her without the other present.
But it was my brother I was disappointed in more. He was my damned brother, my flesh and blood. He knew how in love with Layla I was, but I was willing to share. That had been the agreement from the start, we share. No matter the feelings, but he hadn’t shared tonight, he’d taken her all for himself.
Darrin’s complexion paled as he looked down at Layla and then back at me. “Oh fuck me.” Immediately he leapt from the bed and after a moment’s frantic search grabbed a fresh pair of boxer briefs from his dresser. “Fuck Nate, I don’t know what to say.” He motioned towards the bed and Layla’s sleeping body.
“There’s not much to say, you broke the pact.” My jaw clenched as I stared at him. It had been years since we’d been in a fight, not since high school, in fact. But I wanted to punch him square in his fucking jaw. If it hadn’t been for the fact I knew the news he’d had to deal with today I damned well would have.
“I don’t… I came home. I started drinking.” He came around the bed to my side and motioned for me to follow him into the living room. I decided that would be a good idea, as seeing Layla looking so naked and content on his white sheets was only getting me more pissed.
“And so, she came over and took advantage of you? She’d have had to give you a roofie and gotten rapey in order for you to break your word with your brother.”
He groaned aloud as he grabbed a bottle of aspirin from the coffee table and flopped down onto the sofa. Shaking a couple out into his hand, he popped them into his mouth and swallowed the two caplets dry. “No. I… Fuck.” He sighed. “You heard about Gabriella’s killer?”
“Yeah. I’m sorry man, really I am.” My rage gave way a moment for the sympathy I’d been feeling previously. Setting the case of beer on the coffee table, I took a seat in the arm chair next to the sofa.
“I started drinking while watching a home movie of me and Gabriella, looking at some old photos, feeling sorry for myself, and then somewhere along the line I fell asleep.”
“How does that get you to having sex with Layla and having her naked and asleep beside you?”
“I woke up when she came over. I must not have been sleeping for long, the pictures were still out. She turned off the movie and I told her about Gabriella and I was basically wallowing in self-pity. She consoled me.”
“She consoled you.” The muscles in my body began to tense again. This was bound to happen. Eventually, it had to happen.
He opened his mouth to speak and then snapped it shut again.
He wasn’t telling me everything, I could feel it. Neither one of us could ever tell a lie to the other one and now was not an exception. “What aren’t you telling me, Darrin?”
“Fuck, man, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” He ran a hand through his hair and then placed his head in his hands, elbows propped on his knees.
My eyes narrowed at my brother as I impatiently waited. “Mean to what?”
Looking up, his expression grim, he replied, “I told her I was in love with her.”
~*~ TT ~*~
Darrin
A look came over Nate’s face that I couldn’t quite place, which was unusual, since I thought I knew every one of Nate’s expressions. It seemed to be a mixture of anger and something else…
“There’s more,” I added.
Cocking a brow up at me, Nate continued to stare at me with that odd stare of his.
“I told her that from what I could tell you were in love with her as well.”
The odd expression left him and his face became a blank slate.
“Look, be honest, if not with me then with yourself. You know as well as I do that you’re falling in love with her, if you’re not already there, which I think you are.”
“Like you’d know.”
I straightened and gave him a don’t shit me look. “I know you better than you know yourself sometimes, because I can access you objectively. I can tell just by watching you when you’re with her. You’re a different person. You’re just as much in love with her as I am.”
Anger filled his eyes. “Then back off and let me have her,” my brother growled.
I couldn’t do that. I loved my brother, but I couldn’t let her go. Not now, not after what we’d shared earlier. Losing her would be as painful as Gabriella, just in a different way.
“I can’t do that.” Shaking my head, I met his gaze.
But I couldn’t lose my brother either. Dammit, why couldn’t things just stay as they were? Things had been going fine. Maybe we just needed to tweak the arrangement?
~*~ TT ~*~
Layla
I awoke with a start, the nightmare that had woken me already beginning to fade from my consciousness. Frowning, it took me a moment to realize that I wasn’t in my bed and that I was at Darrin’s place. Fighting the grogginess, I swung my legs over the side of the bed and noticed the box of pictures on the night side table. What had transpired between us came to the forefront of my mind.
He loved me. Both of them did. We’d made love.
My heart soared.
Voices. Not just any voices, but those of the brothers, could be heard coming from the other room. They sounded angry. Anxious, yet a little nervous to see them, I grabbed Darrin’s shirt from the floor and pulled it on over my naked body and made my way into the living room where I found them both.
I was about to speak, but they seemed to be in a heated discussion which made me reconsider entering the room—neither one seemed to notice me in the entryway. Perhaps I should go back to bed and pretend to be sleeping?
“Back off and let me have her,” Nate growled, staring at his brother.
Was he talking about me? I didn’t even have to ask that question, I knew they were.
Run and eavesdrop or let them know I was present? Decisions, decisions.
“I can’t do that,” Darrin responded.
They stared at each other, as if in a stalemate.
I couldn’t speak. I became frozen with indecision. If I had to choose between them, how could I? I was in love with them both. They both had faults, but also amazing qualities unique to each of them.
In my worst fears, I knew the day might come that I’d have to make the decision between them, but I didn’t want to face that fact. The optimistic part of me hoped we’d continue as we had been, that we could make it work, all three of us. Maybe I’d just had my head stuck in the ground all this time.
Taking a deep breath, I decided to bite the bullet and announce myself. As much as I’d have liked to avoid this conversation, it involved me and I had to address it.
“Nate. Darrin.” Both sets of eyes shot over to look at me. Despite Darrin sitting in his underwear, I felt underdressed, as though being fully clothed would stop whatever pain was on the immediate horizon.
They stared at me and I saw the truth in their eyes. All barriers had been broken down and they were both completely exposed. They both loved me as much as I loved them. We just had to figure out what to do about it.
Nate was the first to speak. “Come on in, this actually
involves you as well and we need to know what you’re feeling.”
Terrified. That was the main emotion in me right now, but I didn’t want to admit it.
“Okay.” I walked over to the sofa and sat next to Darrin, with Nate still in the armchair on my other side. “What’s going on?”
“We’re discussing the situation between us,” Darrin said.
“Oh. What about it?” Maybe if I pretended to be aloof we could forget that we needed to have this conversation. Everything could go back to normal. “Everything is fine, right?”
“We’ve got an issue.”
“Oh.” I tried not to frown, but it didn’t work. “What’s the issue?”
Nate jumped in. “We’ve been talking, and when this all began we were all just having some no strings attached fun. It wasn’t supposed to turn into something serious.”
Chewing at my bottom lip, I nodded, not trusting myself not to start rambling like an idiot. Oh God, were they both going to break up with me? If I couldn’t make a choice did I lose them both? This wasn’t my idea, this was theirs, dammit.
“But it has turned serious,” Darrin cut in, taking my hand in his.
“And that’s where the problem comes in,” Nate continued.
“Why is there a problem? So, we’ve come to care for each other. That was bound to happen, right?”
“Yes, I suppose it was,” Darrin admitted, with Nate nodding his agreement. “I guess we hadn’t considered this far in advance and now here we are.”
“What’s the solution? Are you guys breaking up with me?” I looked from one man to the other, not able to stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks.
Nate took my free hand and gave it a squeeze. “We’re just discussing the options, okay? The problem is that we both have strong feelings for you and we had certain rules we’d put into place to try to keep things from becoming…” He grimaced. “For lack of a better word, unbalanced.”
My brows furrowed as I stared at him.
“For instance, we were to only sleep with you together, but Darrin and you…”
“I’m sorry. This is my fault.” I looked at Darrin. “I saw how upset you were and I heard the story for the first time and…” I turned back to Nate. “It just happened. It doesn’t change how I feel about either of you.”
Taking a deep breath, I gathered my resolve and decided to just let the chips fall as they may. “I’m in love with you both. I want and need you both. But I also don’t want to be the person that comes between you two. I’d never be able to live with myself I did.” I didn’t have any siblings, but always wanted some. Jealousy over my friends having brothers and sisters was a familiar feeling for me.
As much as it would kill me, I’d back away from this if I had to.
“I can’t choose.” The room grew eerily silent. My silent tears were threatening to turn into sobs, so I pulled my hands from the brothers’ grasp.
“Layla,” I heard one say as I stood and stepped away from the sofa.
Turning back to them, I forced a smile to my lips. “I’ll give you both time to talk and discuss it. Just know I can’t and won’t make a choice. I refuse to be the one to break you two apart. I want you both or neither.” Grabbing my purse which was sitting at the door, I slipped out and into the hallway, hoping and praying they would stop me and tell me I was being foolish, we’d all stay together.
They didn’t.
I should have known from the beginning that this was going to end badly.
Chapter 20
Layla
The next few days went by in a blur. Every second that passed felt like an hour. I threw myself into my work. Numbers were numbers and they never lied. Numbers were always true and there was no grey area with them. Damned grey area.
I missed them both terribly.
My phone chimed, signalling a text message. As with every text message I received a part of me held the hope that it would be one of the brothers. It never was. At least they could have told me it was over—leaving me in limbo like they had for the past couple days was agony.
The phone chimed again and I pulled it out of my purse. I groaned when I saw the name associated with the text message. Craig Vance. Jesus, why couldn’t he just get the hint already? I was done and over with his shit and had been since I left.
Craig: Why aren’t you returning my texts? We need to talk.
Shaking my head, I gave in. I’d been ignoring his texts since I arrived here hoping that he’d get the hint and give up. Alas, it was close to three months and he hadn’t.
I hesitated, gathering my thoughts on how I was going to respond.
Layla: We have nothing to talk about. You cheated. I left and came home.
I gave the text a nod of approval before pressing send. The dots indicated it was sending and then it was done. Sent and over. Grabbing my purse, I was in the process of shoving the phone back in when another text message came through.
You’ve got to be fucking with me. I groaned out loud.
Craig: At least meet me for a coffee somewhere.
Layla: I’m back in New York. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t meet you. Which I don’t.
I waited a solid minute to see if any more messages came in before putting the phone away. Really? What did that asshole think, that he could apologize and erase the past? Maybe before the brothers that may have worked—maybe. But now I knew what it felt like to be truly loved and desired.
~*~ TT ~*~
I slowly made my way through the lobby of my building complex, hoping to bump into one of the brothers. I didn’t. When I was trying to avoid them a few months ago, I couldn’t seem to. Now that I was attempting to run into them, I was having the exact opposite problem.
Was nothing going to go my way this week?
Unlocking the door to my place, I shot a look of longing towards the door down the hallway. If I was someone else, I’d simply walk down there, knock on the door, and talk to him. Hell, he still had my clothes. That right there was a justifiable reason, isn’t it?
When the door unlocked, I hesitated. I’d just go ask for my clothes back and if he asked me in then all the better. But I didn’t, I chickened the fuck out. That was what I did. I stepped inside, closing the door behind me, feeling like a chump for being so scared of rejection, which was exactly what this was.
I took some psychology courses when attending college, I knew my issues.
Kicking my heels off, I set my purse on the little table by the door which held my keys and so forth and entered the living room, stripping away my clothing as I went. Walking naked to the towel closet, I grabbed one for my body and one for my hair. I’d take a nice warm soak in the tub, put on some relaxing music, light a lavender candle, and melt those worries away.
The worries didn’t melt away. Sure, I felt better to a certain degree, but not good enough to be able to focus on the romance novel I’d loaded on my Kindle. I kept having to read the same line several times over before it made sense to me.
After forty minutes of attempting to read the book and lose myself in the story I gave up. A person had to know when it was time to throw in the towel. So that was exactly what I did—on the book and bath anyhow.
Getting out of the bath, I wrapped a towel around my head and then another around my body. The water slithered down my legs and made a small puddle at my feet. I’d remembered everything for my bath except the bath mat.
Whatever. A little bit of water on the floor was the least of my problems.
Exiting the bathroom, I padded barefoot across the beige carpeted floor and into my bedroom. Going to my dresser, I pulled on a pair of boxers and t-shirt sans a bra. I wasn’t planning to go anywhere tonight. Maybe a good romantic comedy, scratch that, a thriller, would take my mind off my personal issues.
And popcorn. A nice big tub of popcorn. Extra butter. Walking through the living room, I entered the kitchen and grabbed a bag of microwave popcorn. Pulling the plastic wrap from the package, I opened the microwave and
shoved the popcorn in, setting the timer for two minutes. I left the popcorn to do its thing and walked back into the living room.
Sitting down, I grabbed the remote and turned on the television, switching to Netflix. As I scanned through the movies, my eye caught the title of Wild Things. I’d seen it before, though it had been a long time. A movie where someone was crossed and double crossed and then triple crossed would be the ticket.
I’d just started Wild Things when a knock came at the door. It had to be one of the brothers, or perhaps both, since no one called up on the intercom. I was both excited and nervous at the concept. Stopping at the floor length mirror in the hallway, I did a double check on my appearance. My face was devoid of make-up, but I looked okay. They’d seen me looking worse.
In my excitement, I didn’t bother to look through the peephole. Opening the door, my breath caught in my throat as I stared at my ex-fiancé, Craig Vance.
“Hello, Layla.”
~*~ TT ~*~
Nate
“How much longer are we going to do this to ourselves?”
Looking up from my steak dinner, I stared at Darrin a moment before answering. “I don’t know. Until she’s out of our system.”
He laughed. “It’s not going to work.” Swirling his spaghetti on his fork, he brought the fork to his mouth and sucked up the strands of pasta.
“There hasn’t been a woman I’ve never been able to forget.”
“She’s not just some woman,” he pointed out.
He was right. She wasn’t. Normally, I’d be already on the prowl for my next conquest. But not this time. Not with her. Every minute that went by confirmed it. I truly was in love with her.
“That doesn’t change the issue. We’re both in love with the same woman. She won’t choose and neither of us can take her without feeling a lifetime of guilt knowing we had what the other loved and wanted as well.”
“We are at a stalemate.”
“We are.” I cut another piece off my steak, with a little more force than necessary, scratching the plate beneath. Normally, I loved the steak at Tucker’s Point Restaurant, but not tonight. My mind was numb and my dick was sore from the excessive masturbation. A part of me hoped I could masturbate her out of my system. Fucking stupid idea that was. All I got for my troubles was more fantasies of her to draw from and a chafed cock.