by M R Field
“Dude, be lucky you can even touch that thing. She’s protective over it.” He laughs.
“Damn straight I am.” I nod and pay, ignoring Theo’s grumbling next to me about “more orgasms” or something. Not like I’d complain about that. My bean will be more than happy.
I clutch his novel in my hands and go to move when I feel a hole in the plastic behind it. “Oh no,” I whine as I turn it over in my hands, “It’s ripped.”
“Oh shit,” Theo says, “but maybe it’s not damaged. Peel it off and take a look.”
“Yeah, if it is, I’ll give you a new one,” the clerk says, and I nod, too shaken to respond. I’ve become such a precious idiot over these, but now knowing they are Theo’s, I have to make even more sure they are okay. Peeling off the plastic carefully, I place it on the counter and turn the comic around in my hands, not noticing any damage.
“I think it’s okay.” My eyes carefully zoom over the edges.
“Take a look inside,” Theo urges. “We don’t want to get home and find a page was damaged or something.”
Without blinking, I press my thumb across the pages and flip each one, carefully looking at every page while trying not to absorb any of the beautiful story that I’m getting glimpses of. But it’s useless. I’m in the sweetest torture, being tempted to fall into my usual habit of just sitting down on the floor and reading. I can only be tempted by so much.
As I turn the final page, I sigh. I can’t help it. “Okay.” I resign myself to just one peek. “I need to see if you’ve written me a secret note, and that’s it. I’ll even cover the page with … this.” I grab a pamphlet from the desk and unfold it quickly.
“You can do whatever you like.” Theo rubs my cheek. “It’s your novel.”
His eyes sparkle, and I watch him for a second as his smirk twitches. That’s strange. Shaking it off, I slip the pamphlet into the back and open the page fully, sliding it up slightly to only see the edging of the panel. As the store is dimly lit, I walk closer to the droplight near the counter and search for a message. My eyes spot it straight away, and I laugh.
Stop looking for a message when all I want to say is written on this page.
“What?” My head darts up to look at Theo. He doesn’t say anything, but he gently tugs at the pamphlet to loosen it from the page, uncovering a series of panels. “But I don’t want to read anything just yet.” I poke my bottom lip out.
He taps my lip playfully and says, “Just this once?” Tilting his head, he gives me puppy eyes. “For me?”
I narrow my eyes at him but smile, as I secretly want to read some. I start in the corner and see two young people sitting side by side at a table, looking at each other, with a caption above them saying, It all started here. My breath catches as I notice the familiar pincushion in the boy’s hand. Aw, it’s us!
I look over to the next panel to find the characters older and in an art class, their beaming faces closer together, sharing earphones. The caption above says, I tolerated your music to be close to you.
“You secretly loved it. Venga Boys all the way, baby!” I nudge him in the side with my elbow.
I chuckle as the panels continue, showing different moments of us from teenagers through to adulthood. As the drawings progress, the mood transforms from childhood innocence to adult understanding. A series of moments are flickered together, showing us staring at each other in our costumes at my housewarming party, and then us riding on the back of his bike. Each drawing grows in intensity. Even our argument is depicted with the splatters of reds and blacks that highlight how broken we felt, followed by us standing by a wall, reunited. I reach the second-to-last one of us, which has us facing each other, with the caption, Now, you see me. Shivers tickle behind my shoulders, and I squirm. I feel like my heart is about to overflow. My cheeks feel damp as small, unexpected tears trail down my face. I look up to see him smiling at me.
“You still have one more panel.” Theo gestures to the one that my hand is covering unintentionally. I take a deep breath, pull my fingers away, and gasp. Holy moly. The panel shows me standing on the mountain with the sun behind me, and Theo kneeling at my feet, a ring box in his hand. The caption reads, Trinity, will you be my forever, not just in here but in real life?
“Oh, Theo.” My hand clutches my collar, and I turn to face him, but he’s no longer standing beside me. Instead, he’s kneeling, just like he is in the drawing, holding a ring box open to me. My fingers touch the box as he clears his throat.
“What do you say? Will you marry me?” His eyes hold unshed tears, and I shriek.
“Yes! Of course I will.” My eyes sting as I sniff, trying to hold the tears at bay as his sentiment fills my chest with love.
“Suppose I better give you this, then?” He stands and takes the ring from the box and slides it onto my finger. I stare at it for a moment, my hand shaking as I gaze at it, dumbfounded. It’s beautiful. Spectacular and so me. A round amethyst sits in the middle of a white-gold band with a diamond on either side.
“This is so me, with a splash of colour.” My voice trembles.
“It’s like I knew.” Theo smirks as he touches my hair, the newly dyed deep purple ends and chocolate base colour rubbing between his fingertips. My eyes connect with his, and his smile becomes slightly strained as a lone tear cascades down his face, causing my tears to fall again, my jubilant smile trembling from all the joy. Stepping forward, I reach my hands up to his face.
“It’s beautiful. I love you.” I bring his lips closer to mine, and his breath shudders.
“You’re my forever girl,” he says, before kissing me. Our lips tremble at first, until I wrap my arms around his shoulders and kiss him as hard as I can, trying not to cry.
An instant eruption of applause from the customers in the store surrounds us, making us stop abruptly. I quickly turn from him to see all the smiling faces, and I wink before yelling, “My fiancé writes the best happily-ever-afters EVER!”
Theo chuckles next to me, before saying, “But living it will be even better,” then pulling me back for another kiss that I don’t stop until we’re ready to.
Later that evening, once we arrive at the restaurant, the nervous energy trickles down my spine. I spent some time this afternoon calling my dad and the girls, who were all beyond thrilled. They weren’t able to make the opening tonight, as Robbie’s working while Hazel’s parents and Trice is teaching her dance classes, but we’ve scheduled some girl time before their performance tomorrow night. Theo has stolen the limelight today, but there is a part of me that will shine a bit brighter tonight. For him.
My dress is a fitted black peplum dress, with a lace overlay that covers my back. I went to my favourite fabric shop to source the right lace, as tonight is a special occasion. The ends of my hair are curled, and my makeup a little bolder than usual, with my deep red lipstick that pops. My chandelier earrings sparkle under the lights, and my legs look like they go for days with my new stilettos. Theo wears a black suit, with a black shirt that he’s teamed with a deep purple tie. I’ve even put my hand against it, and the stone matched. Him and his secret plans. It is my turn sometime soon. Just have to find the right moment.
As we enter through the glass doors, Theo’s eyes drift down to my ring as we smile secretly, knowing that his family will all be here.
Looking around, my eyes are drawn to everything. The restaurant is abuzz with staff serving at tables and the bar, while the chatter of patrons is heard. A piano plays in the distance, and I take a farther step in.
“Whoa,” I gasp, as my heels click across the deep hardwood floor. To my left, there is a lengthy mahogany bar that shines under the droplights. What floors me, though, is instead of shelves for bottles, the wall itself is a dark metal grey with cutout holes that each contains a bottle that is lying down. Two metal ladders run on a horizontal rail on little wheels that can be pulled out to climb and pushed in to store. That is freaking cool.
“Spirits are under the bar.” Theo’s lips are
near my face, and I nod before turning to check out the rest of the place. A grand chandelier hangs from the centre of the room while other droplights illuminate the area. The restaurant itself is lined with grey tablecloths, classic silverware, and crystal wine glasses. Theo’s finger rises, pointing to the back. “The kitchen is located over there, but we won’t go into it tonight as they’ll be stress heads.” He waves his arm across to the other side of the room. “Bathrooms are down there, and over here is my side project that you saw me start that day.”
“Oh, when I stripped you?” I tease
“Yes, in front of my dad, too. Cheers for that.”
“Anytime.” I wink.
His hand lowers on my back as he leads me over to the brick wall that has been completely transformed. The wall has been divided into sections with hand-painted portraits of dancing couples. Each section holds a different pose and costume, but the figures are all different. Even the detail to their hands is realistic. I remember learning in art class how hard the hands are to draw, and Theo has made it look easy.
“They look like they’re bursting out of the brick.” I step forward and look at the black and red dress at the end, and my mouth drops open. “Is that Elly?”
“Sure is.”
Walking closer, I see Elly looking over her shoulder, her back bare in a deep plunge, wearing a long black dress with frilled trim and red ribbon running along the edges. A man in black pants and a tight black shirt is positioned against her, with one arm above her and the other to the side.
“Is that Aidan?”
“Yeah, he’s the partner in all of them. All the girls are different.”
“Trice would’ve loved to have been chosen to be part of this.”
“She did,” Theo says, and I gasp, watching his finger point along the wall as he continues, “Here is Anastasia, Trice, and Hazel.”
I gaze at all their portraits in wonder at the intricate detail of their faces and body shapes. I turn slightly. The figures continue down to the other wall that leads back to the entrance, and I chuckle at how I did not notice them before. My friends are here!
“This is incredible.” I grab Theo’s arm. “They look real.”
“He’s done a great job.” Ricardo ’s voice sounds behind us, and I turn to find him, Aria, and Theo’s sisters, who are dressed in traditional Spanish dresses.
“I thought the dancing was going to be on Thursday nights.”
“Yes, but we wanted to look the part tonight,” Anastasia responds, holding her dress out slightly. “Plus, it’s fun to dress up now and then.”
“It sure is.” I beam at her, as most of her legs are showing under the various frills at the hem. “Nice pins.” I wink and watch her face deepen in a crimson blush. She’s just adorable, and her shyness reminds me of Theo at that age. I was blind to have missed it at the start. I push my hair behind my shoulder and hear a gasp.
“No way!” Elly marches forward and yanks on my hand before turning to Theo. “Are you engaged?”
Anastasia races forward excitedly, and they both examine my hand as I wiggle my fingers under their faces.
“He proposed this afternoon, and even wrote it in his novel!” I boast proudly.
“Oh, so that’s why you didn’t want me to read it until tomorrow.” Anastasia points at her brother. “You sneaky, sneaky man.”
Aria and Ricardo come closer, with grand smiles on their faces, and Ricardo takes Theo’s shoulder and pulls him into a hug. I hear muffled words of congratulations.
Aria holds my hand for a moment before leaning in to give me a cuddle. “So happy for you,” she beams, “Perfect match.”
I squeeze her back, knowing that as corny as it sounds, she is totally right.
We spend the evening enjoying the company of Theo’s family. The tiny similarities that he has with his father do not escape me, especially when Theo listens to people speak. His mouth quirks in the same way and his eyes brighten when he is happy or excited, just like Ricardo’s. Even the girls look similar in their characteristics with Theo. There is a gentle ease to him now. Theo knows he belongs, is welcome, and can be relaxed with them while being himself. His strain with using emotion has loosened, making him more carefree to give and receive affection, not just with me, but with everyone here.
Once dessert is served, Theo excuses himself to go to the bathroom, and I chat with Aria about her next fitting, as I have been making her a dress for an annual fundraiser that she organises. As we chat, her eyes run along my body a few times, and I glance down to see what she is looking at.
“You’ve got the glow.” She beams as she looks at me.
“Oh, I think it’s just the wine.” I pretend to touch my face, knowing that my skin still feels the same.
“You haven’t touched any wine tonight.” Her brow raises.
My eyes dart to the side as I nervously bite my lip and shrug. She leans in to speak, but her gaze darts over my shoulder, where she indicates for me to turn around.
Across the room, where the band will eventually play, is a piano. Right now, seated at the piano is Theo. My fiancé.
We make eye contact, and his shoulders move as he takes a deep breath. I don’t want his tortured gaze to return, so I nod enthusiastically and smile, hoping that my proud expression is encouraging him. His arms shift as he raises his hands to the keys and begins to play. I expect him to play a classical music piece, but, instead, the opening chords of “What A Wonderful World” play. My eyes brim with tears, remembering how much my mother loved playing Eva Cassidy at home and how even though this was her funeral song, it does not remind me of her death. It reminds me of her vibrant life and the beautiful letters she’s left for me. I smile, remembering an envelope entitled, So you’re getting married, and my hips wiggle with excitement.
I watch the man I love serenade me using his darkest fear. Using the love we share to give him the confidence to make it his grandest performance. All his exams are nothing compared to this. A cleansing. A rebirth into the man he is now. I watch the man I love play with such beauty that I am compelled to rise from my seat. And I do. Without taking my eyes off him, I weave between the patrons and staff, dodging the children that run around, all to get to him. To be with him. And he plays with such pride that I feel my chest will burst. I move around the piano and place my hand on his back, marvelling that there is no tension there, just loose muscles under my touch. I begin humming the lyrics while I stand behind him, the heat of his back that warms beneath my fingers.
When the final chords play, a polite clap from the restaurant is heard, but I take no notice of it. Theo turns to face me and draws me into his body, his head sitting against my chest as I stroke the back of his head and neck, curling my fingers into the ends of his hair. “I want to hear you again and again.”
“Then you shall.” He cuddles into me.
“You going to teach our children how to play one day?”
“Yes.” He shifts his head against me. “But I will make it fun. Fill our house with music, and they can choose to learn it if they want.”
“So, I guess our place is going to be a bit noisy in about seven months then,” I continue to stroke his hair.
I bite my lip when he jerks under my touch. His hands grip my hips as he leans back and stares straight up at me. “We’re having a baby?”
“Yes.” I touch his face, watching as his eyes brighten with awe.
“How far are you?” His hand moves to my belly, warming my stomach.
I shift his fingers lower. “Bub is there. I’m eight weeks. Kind of explains why I was feeling off a few weeks ago.”
He watches his hand as he rubs gentle circles around my stomach. “So this is what it feels like,” he murmurs.
“What, honey?” I run my fingers around his ears and across his cheek.
“To be loved before even being born. The feeling my mother wanted so desperately.” His lips kiss my belly, and my tears threaten to fall as he whispers, “I feel what she did.” L
ooking up at me, his eyes widen as he says earnestly, “I’m so glad she fought for me.”
“Me too, my love.” I sniff as the tears tumble, no longer able to keep them at bay. “Amaya fought with everything she had, just like my mum.”
His head tilts to my tummy as he speaks. “You are loved, baby. You are so unbelievably loved.” He gives my belly one more kiss before standing and taking my face in his. “You, my fiancée, are my heart and my soul. You are my tree of life.”
I gasp as his strong hands wrap around us, his lips meeting mine in a passionate and reverent kiss.
My mother was right about him. Not only is she carried in my heart, but our children will go on to carry her in theirs, just as they will Amaya. My heart soars with a stronger charge of adrenaline than any stunt or ride I’ve had in the past. I’m here, with the man that I love and our child. Our future is going to be full of adventure. There will be no greater high than with them.
COMING SOON
Leon and Lily’s story
Shatters
Cole and Letty’s story
Do Not Respond
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
It astonishes me that I’m here once again, yet I’m thrilled to be. I am so incredibly grateful for this journey and especially for the support from family and friends who have stuck beside me. I owe a lot to these wonderful people, and like always, I apologise if I have forgotten anyone.
Firstly, my husband for his endless support, encouragement and his colossal fear of reading one of my many naughty scenes. That fear is a keen motivator to take it up a notch. Thank you for distracting our kids with endless Netflix shows and catering to my chocolate needs. I love you to the moon and back.
To our adorable munchkins who remind me everyday that dreams can happen. Strive for your own dreams and soar. Also, don’t read mamma’s novels until you’re at least 16. I mean, 27.
To my parents and siblings for your support and encouragement while I chatted about plot twists and scenes that you pretended to be interested in.
To my amazing editor Lauren McKellar, who continues to push me to become a better writer and encouraging me to be the best that I can possibly be. You’re awesome! Editing is not so painful with your cute little comments.