by Randy Alcorn
Eden was the forerunner of the New Earth. Since meaningful human companionship turned God's assessment of "not good" into a declaration of "very good" on the first Earth, we shouldn't expect him to change his mind on the New Earth. Yet many people minimize human relationships in Heaven. Protestant reformer John Calvin said, "To be in Paradise and live with God is not to speak to each other and be heard by each other, but is only to enjoy God, to feel his good will, and rest in him."256 To Calvin's credit, he longed for the joy to be found in God. But he imagined a false dichotomy between the joys of relating to God and relating to God's children. To take pleasure in another image-bearer doesn't offend God; it pleases him. To enjoy a conversation with a brother or sister does not require making that person an idol or competitor with God. God was supremely pleased that Adam and Eve enjoyed each other's company in Paradise. God is our father, and fathers delight in their children's close relationships.
Some people falsely assume that when we give attention to people, it automatically distracts us from God. But even now, in a fallen world, people can turn my attention toward God. Was Jesus distracted from God by spending time with people on Earth? Certainly not. In Heaven, no person will distract us from God. We will never experience any conflict between worshiping God himself and enjoying God's people.
Deep and satisfying human relationships will be among God's greatest gifts. Jonathan Edwards saw no conflict between anticipating our relationships with God and our loved ones:
Every Christian friend that goes before us from this world is a ransomed spirit waiting to welcome us in heaven. There will be the infant of days that we have lost below, through grace to be found above. There the Christian father, and mother, and wife, and child, and friend, with whom we shall renew the holy fellowship of the saints, which was interrupted by death here, but shall be commenced again in the upper sanctuary, and then shall never end. There we shall have companionship with the patriarchs and fathers and saints of the Old and New Testaments, and those of whom the world was not worthy. . . . And there, above all, we shall enjoy and dwell with God the Father, whom we have loved with all our hearts on earth; and with Jesus Christ, our beloved Savior, who has always been to us the chief among ten thousands, and altogether lovely; and with the Holy Spirit, our Sanctifier, and Guide, and Comforter; and shall be filled with all the fullness of the Godhead forever!257
Jesus affirmed that the greatest commandment was to love God, but that the second, inseparable from the first, was to love our neighbor (Matthew 22:37-39). He never considered these commands as incompatible. Neither should we. He saw the second flowing directly from the first. One of the highest ways we love God is by loving people. Jesus rebuked the religious leaders because they imagined they could love God without loving people (Luke 10:27-37). The spiritual-sounding "I will love only God and no one else" is not only unspiritual; it's impossible. For if we don't love people, who are created in God's image, we can't love God.
WHAT DID PAUL SAY ABOUT REUNION IN HEAVEN?
Paul says to his friends in Thessalonica, "We loved you so much" and "You had become so dear to us," then speaks of his "intense longing" to be with them (1 Thessalonians 2:8,17). In fact, Paul anticipates his ongoing relationship with the Thessalonians as part of his heavenly reward: "What is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the presence of our Lord Jesus when he comes? Is it not you? Indeed, you are our glory and joy" (1 Thessalonians 2:19-20).
Isn't this emphatic proof that it's appropriate for us to deeply love people and look forward to being with them in Heaven? Paul sees no contradiction in referring to both Christ and his friends as his hope and joy and crown in Heaven.
Paul then asks, "How can we thank God enough for you in return for all the joy we have in the presence of our God because of you?" (3:9). The joy he takes in his friends doesn't compete with his joy in God—it's part of it. Paul thanks God for his friends. Whenever we're moved to thank God for people, we're experiencing exactly what he intended.
Paul also says to the Thessalonians, "You long to see us, just as we also long to see you....How can we thank God enough foryou in return for all thejoywe have in the presence of our God because of you? Night and day we pray most earnestly that we may see you again" (3:6,9-10). Paul finds joy in God's presence because of other Christians. He anticipates the day "when our Lord Jesus comes with all his holy ones" (3:13). He looks forward to being with Jesus and his people.
Paul tells the Thessalonians that we'll be reunited with believing family and friends in Heaven: "Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no h o p e . . . . God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. . . . We who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them.... And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words" (4:13-14,1718). Our source of comfort isn't only that we'll be with the Lord in Heaven but also that we'll be with each other.
Puritan Richard Baxter longed for that comfort: "I know that Christ is all in all; and that it is the presence of God that makes Heaven to be heaven. But yet it much sweetens the thoughts of that place to me that there are there such a multitude of my most dear and precious friends in Christ."258
In Philippians 1, Paul speaks with unapologetic affection to his brothers in Christ, describing himself as longing for them. Note that he clearly sees no incompatibility between his Christ-centered desire to be with Jesus (1:21) and his Christ-centered love for others:
I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:3-6)
Paul's delight in his brothers in Christ reminds us that the first and second greatest commands are inseparable: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart... and love your neighbor as yourself " (Luke 10:27). And if you love your neighbor as yourself, how much more your family, which derives its identity from God himself?
As if anticipating that someone might object by saying, "But God is the only one we should find joy in and long for," Paul continues his thought in the following verses:
It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:7-8)
Note the source of Paul's deep longing and affection for his brothers and sisters: Christ Jesus himself. Though it is possible to put people over God (which is idolatry), it is also possible, while putting God over people, to find in people a wonderful expression of God himself, so great that it is completely appropriate for us to have them in our hearts, to find joy in them, and long to be with them.
Such sentiments are not idolatry, and it is not wrong to have them. In fact, something is wrong if we do not have them. For finding joy in God and longing for God does not kill our joy in and longing for others. Rather, it fuels it. The joy and longing we have for other people is directly derived from our joy in and longing for God.
WHAT WILL WE REMEMBER?
One writer claims, "We will not even remember this old world we call Earth . .. nor will we even recall it! It simply will not come into our minds."259 This common misperception confuses people. They think we won't remember our earthly lives, including the relationships so precious to us.
The people who believe we will not remember our present lives often cite Isaiah 65:17 as their proof: "Behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind." However, this verse should be viewed in context. It's linked to the previous verse, in which God says, "For the past troubles will be forgotten and hidden from my eyes." This doesn't suggest literal lack of memo
ry, as if the omniscient God couldn't recall the past. Rather, it's like God's comment to Jeremiah: " I . . . will remember their sins no more" (Jeremiah 31:34). It means that God chooses not to bring up our past sins or hold them against us. In eternity, past sins and sorrows won't preoccupy God or us. We'll be capable of choosing not to recall or dwell on anything that would diminish Heaven's joy.
In chapter 7 we learned that the martyrs now in the intermediate Heaven remember what happened on Earth, including that they endured great suffering (Revelation 6:9-11). Jesus promised that in Heaven, those who endured bad things on Earth would be comforted for them (Luke 16:25). The comfort implies memory of what happened. If we had no memory of the bad things, why would we need comfort? How would we feel it?
Our minds will be clearer in Heaven, not foggier. Memory is basic to personality. The principle of continuity requires that we will remember our past lives. Heaven cleanses our slate of sin and error, but it doesn't erase our memory of it. The lessons we learned here about God's love, grace, and justice surely aren't lost but will carry over to Heaven. Father Boudreau states, "For the sins which so often made us tremble, are washed away in the blood of Jesus, and are, therefore, no longer a source of trouble. The remembrance of them rather intensifies our love for the God of mercy, and therefore increases our happiness."260
It seems likely that recalling the reality of our past troubles, sorrows, and sins would set a sharp contrast to the glories of Heaven, as darkness does to light, as Hell does to Heaven. We would lose this contrast if we forgot what sorrow was. If we forgot we were desperate sinners, how could we appreciate the depth and meaning of Christ's redemptive work for us?
Even though God will wipe away the tears and sorrow attached to this world, he will not erase from our minds human history and Christ's intervention. Remember that Christ's resurrection body has nail-scarred hands and feet (John 20:24-29). Seeing those scars in Heaven will always remind us that our sins nailed Jesus to the cross. Heaven's happiness won't be dependent on our ignorance of what happened on Earth. Rather, it will be enhanced by our informed appreciation of God's glorious grace and justice as we grasp what really happened here.
The Greek word for truth, aletheia, is a negated form of the verb translated "to forget"; knowing the truth means to stop forgetting. While a word's history doesn't determine its present meaning, in this case it's certainly suggestive. A Christian view of truth is based not on forgetting but on remembering. Truth is seeing God at work in all events in our past, present, and future.
The New Earth will include memorials to the twelve tribes and the apostles (Revelation 21:12-14). This indicates continuity and memory of history. If we're aware of others'pasts on the old Earth, surely we'llbe aware of our own.
God's acts of sovereign faithful grace will never be erased from our minds. Heaven's happiness will be dependent not on our ignorance but on our perspective. We'll see and know as never before.
WILL WE RECOGNIZE EACH OTHER?
When asked if we would recognize friends in Heaven, George MacDonald responded, "Shall we be greater fools in Paradise than we are here?"261
Yet many people wonder whether we'll know each other in Heaven. What lies behind that question is Christoplatonism and the false assumption that in Heaven we'll be disembodied spirits who lose our identities and memories. How does someone recognize a spirit?
As we've seen, however, these assumptions are unbiblical. (See appendix A for further discussion.) Christ's disciples recognized him countless times after his resurrection. They recognized him on the shore as he cooked breakfast for them (John 21:1-14). They recognized him when he appeared to a skeptical Thomas (John 20:2429). They recognized him when he appeared to five hundred people at once (1 Corinthians 15:6).
But what about Mary at the garden tomb or the two men on the road to Emmaus? They didn't recognize Jesus. Some people have argued from this that Jesus was unrecognizable. But a closer look shows otherwise.
How happy is that love, in which there is an eternal progress in all these things; wherein new beauties are continually discovered, and more and more loveliness, and in which we shall forever increase in beauty ourselves; where we shall be made capable of finding out and giving, and shall receive, more and more endearing expressions of love forever: our union will become more close, and communication more intimate.
JONATHAN EDWARDS
Jesus said to Mary in the garden, " 'Woman . . . why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?' Thinking he was the gardener, she said, 'Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him'" (John 20:15).
Distressed, teary-eyed Mary, knowing Jesus was dead, and not making eye contact with a stranger, naturally assumed he was the gardener. But as soon as Jesus said her name, she recognized him: "She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, 'Rabboni!' (which means Teacher)" (John 20:16).
Some commentators emphasize that the disciples on the Emmaus road didn't recognize Jesus. But notice what the text says: "As they talked and discussed these things with each other, Jesus himself came up and walked along with them; but they were kept from recognizing him" (Luke 24:15-16, emphasis added). God miraculously intervened to keep them from recognizing him. The implication is that apart from supernatural intervention, the men would have recognized Jesus, as they did later: "Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight" (Luke 24:31).
Another indication that we'll recognize people in Heaven is Christ's transfiguration. Christ's disciples recognized the bodies of Moses and Elijah, even though the disciples couldn't have known what the two men looked like (Luke 9:29-33). This may suggest that personality will emanate through a person's body, so we'll instantly recognize people we know of but haven't previously met. If we can recognize those we've never seen, how much more will we recognize our family and friends?
Scripture gives no indication of a memory wipe causing us not to recognize family and friends. Paul anticipated being with the Thessalonians in Heaven, and it never occurred to him he wouldn't know them. In fact, if we wouldn't know our loved ones, the "comfort" of an afterlife reunion, taught in 1 Thessalonians 4:14-18, would be no comfort at all. J. C. Ryle said of this passage, "There would be no point in these words of consolation if they did not imply the mutual recognition of saints. The hope with which he cheers wearied Christians is the hope of meeting their beloved friends again.... But in the moment that we who are saved shall meet our several friends in heaven, we shall at once know them, and they will at once know us."262
The continuity of our resurrection minds and bodies argues that we'll have no trouble recognizing each other—in fact, we'll have much less trouble. In Heaven we probably won't fail to recognize an acquaintance in a crowd, or forget people's names.
Missionary Amy Carmichael had strong convictions on this question:
Shall we know one another in Heaven? Shall we love and remember? I do not think anyone need wonder about this or doubt for a single moment. We are never told we shall, because, I expect, it was not necessary to say anything about this which our own hearts tell us. We do not need words. For if we think for a minute, we know. Would you be yourself if you did not love and remember? . . . We are told that we shall be like our Lord Jesus. Surely this does not mean in holiness only, but in everything; and does not He know and love and remember? He would not be Himself if He did not, and we should not be ourselves if we did not.263
CHAPTER 35
WILL THERE BE MARRIAGE, FAMILIES, AND FRIENDSHIPS?
Receiving a glorified body and relocating to the New Earth doesn't erase history, it culminates history. Nothing will negate or minimize the fact that we were members of families on the old Earth. My daughters will always be my daughters, although first and foremost they are and will be God's daughters. My grandchildren will always be my grandchildren. Resurrection bodies presumably have chromosomes and DNA, with a signature that forever testifies to our g
enetic connection with family.
Heaven won't be without families but will be one big family, in which all family members are friends and all friends are family members. We'll have family relationships with people who were our blood family on Earth. But we'll also have family relationships with our friends, both old and new. We can't take material things with us when we die, but we do take our friendships to Heaven, and one day they'll be renewed.
Many of us treasure our families. But many others have endured a lifetime of brokenheartedness stemming from twisted family relationships. In Heaven neither we nor our family members will cause pain. Our relationships will be harmonious—what we've longed for.
When someone told Jesus that his mother and brothers were wanting to see him, he replied, "My mother and brothers are those who hear God's word and put it into practice" (Luke 8:19-21). Jesus was saying that devotion to God creates a bond transcending biological family ties. Jesus also said that those who follow him will gain "brothers, sisters, mothers, children" (Mark 10:29-30). I think of this when I experience an immediate depth of relationship with a fellow Christian I've just met.
If you weren't able to have children on Earth or if you've been separated from your children, both now and later God will give you relationships that will meet your needs to guide, help, serve, and invest in others. Your parental longings will be fulfilled. If you've never had a parent you could trust, you'll find trustworthy parents everywhere in Heaven, reminding you of your Father. And you can start with some of those relationships here.
So, it's not at all true that there will be "no family in Heaven." On the contrary, there will be one great family—and none of us will ever be left out. Every time we see someone, it will be a family reunion.
WILL THERE BE MARRIAGE AND FAMILY?
One group of religious leaders, the Sadducees, tried to trick Jesus with a question about marriage in Heaven. They didn't believe in the resurrection of the dead. Attempting to make him look foolish, they told Jesus of a woman who had seven husbands who all died. They asked him, "Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her?" (Matthew 22:28).