by Julia Sykes
“It’s not like that.” Even as the protest left my lips, unease stirred my gut. She was edging very close to the uncomfortable truth. “He doesn’t want a conflict with Carmen and Stefano over me. He’s going to tell them he’s found me eventually.”
“There wouldn’t be a reason for a conflict at all if he’d just taken you safely to Carmen as soon as he found you. How long have you been here with him?”
I tried not to squirm under the weight of her scrutiny. “I’m not sure. Three weeks, maybe? But really, it’s been wonderful. Raúl’s done nothing wrong.”
Her delicate features firmed with determination. “If he’s not doing anything wrong, then why would he have to threaten me to keep his secret?”
Her challenging question hit me like a punch to the chest, knocking all the air from my lungs. “He threatened you?”
She nodded grimly. “He reminded me that my family is on shaky ground with the cartel after Daniel’s attempted coup.” Her lips twisted around her brother’s name, but her ire remained focused on Raúl. “He knows I didn’t have anything to do with it, but he still implied that I could be in serious trouble if he wanted to sway Stefano against me. Raúl is a brute, but he has a lot of power within the cartel. He could have me killed with a single word.”
I shook my head in immediate, vehement refusal. “He wouldn’t do that. No, listen.” I cut her off before she could interrupt me. “I know Raúl can be intimidating. But he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. When he told me how Daniel had left you at home during the assault, with no warning to protect yourself, Raúl was furious. He was enraged that your brother had put you in danger like that. I’m truly sorry if he’s scared you with threats, but I promise he would never follow through with them. He just wants to delay Carmen finding out that I’m here with him. He says things would get tense with the cartel if she knows.”
“But that’s exactly my point. Why didn’t he take you to her right away? Why has he been keeping you here in secret?” She speared me with a significant stare. “What is it that he wants from you?”
My cheeks flamed, and I cut my gaze to the floor. “It’s not what you think. I want him, too. I did want to get back to Carmen when he first brought me here, but I was just scared. He’s proven to me that he won’t abuse me. But after a few days passed and I settled in with him, it was too late to go back and tell Carmen that he’d lied to her.”
Strength flooded my body in a sudden burst, and a sense of peace settled over my soul. “I’m with Raúl willingly. I care about him, and I care about Carmen. I don’t want them to fight because of me. If that means letting a little more time pass until things stabilize with the cartel, then I agree with Raúl’s decision to keep me a secret.”
I reached out and squeezed her hand. “I really do appreciate that you want to help me. You thought you were putting yourself at considerable risk to even offer it. But I promise you, Raúl won’t follow through on whatever threats he made. I’m sorry that he scared you, but you have nothing to fear from him. I swear.”
When she still appeared skeptical, I powered on, determined to defend Raúl and to put her mind at ease. “Ever since the moment he met me, Raúl has protected me. He’s done so much to keep me safe.”
I launched into my story, telling her how Raúl had protected me while I was the cartel’s hostage and how he’d saved me in Juárez before bringing me home with him. I told her about how I’d trusted him enough to open up to him about my past: how Gehovany had turned my world into a nightmare; how I’d fled from my home to spare my family; how Carmen’s associate had bought me from the coyote and dragged me into hell.
“After all that, Raúl has saved me. I’m choosing to stay with him.” I spoke the last with particular clarity, willing her to understand. Surely now, she’d have to accept that Raúl was good to me. She’d have to acknowledge that he was only lying to Carmen to avoid a conflict that could turn bloody.
Isabel remained silent for several long seconds before finally offering me a slow nod. “Thank you for sharing all that with me. I had no idea what you’d been through.” Her eyes were wide and earnest on mine. “I really am happy to hear that you feel safe here. I’m happy that you’re not suffering anymore.”
I grasped one of her hands in both of mine, trying to convey the depth of my gratitude. “Thank you. And thank you for agreeing to meet me, especially when you were scared of Raúl. It’s wonderful to have female company again.”
I blinked rapidly, clearing the sudden sting from the corners of my eyes. “But I’ve been talking for what feels like hours. I’d like to get to know you. So, you live here in Mexico City? What’s it like? I haven’t been able to spend any time exploring yet.”
I made sure to add the yet, a firm indication that I wasn’t Raúl’s prisoner. I would eventually be able to leave his house.
She spoke haltingly at first, clearly still a bit uncomfortable with the entire situation. But by the time she started telling me about her favorite secret clubs and late-night cantinas, she became much more animated. Her sparkly pink nail polish flashed as she gesticulated excitedly, sharing her love of the best clubs for salsa dancing.
I peppered her with questions, catching her infectious exuberance. By the time Raúl stepped into the lounge, Isabel and I had made half a dozen plans about places we would explore together soon.
When he cleared his throat to announce his presence, she stopped speaking on a frightened squeak. I offered her a reassuring smile, silently willing her to believe what I’d said about Raúl’s good nature.
“It’s time for dinner,” he announced, a clear dismissal of my guest.
I dropped my gaze to the floor just in time to prevent myself from rolling my eyes at his surliness. I could tease him about it later, but I wouldn’t do anything in front of Isabel that might damage his fierce reputation. While I didn’t want her to fear him, I also knew that the softer side of himself he showed me was intensely private. Allowing someone else to witness it would be a deep betrayal of his trust in me.
I made a show of glancing at the setting sun through the lounge windows. “I really should start cooking.” I turned a warm smile on Isabel. “Thanks again for coming over. It’s been so wonderful getting to know you. I’ll see you again soon?”
She shot an uneasy peek at Raúl before her attention darted back to me. “Definitely,” she agreed. “I’ll get in touch in a day or two, and we’ll plan something. Sound good?”
“I’d love that.”
I walked her to the door and waited until her car disappeared down the curve in the driveway before finally going back inside. Raúl was waiting for me, his brawny arms spread wide. I stepped into them without a second thought, eager to be enfolded in his strong embrace.
Chapter 20
Raúl
I sat back on my heels, no longer bothering to pretend I was doing anything useful in the garden. Instead, I indulged myself in my new, obsessive pastime: watching Marisol. The full pout of her rosebud lips was the most exquisite thing I’d ever seen, and the bead of sweat that rolled down her chest to disappear between her breasts was shockingly erotic.
My unquenchable, savage desire for her was balanced by the quiet calm that I found in simply observing her, seeing her safe and content.
All because of me; because I provided for her. I protected her.
My little lamb wasn’t lost anymore. She was right where she belonged. Against all odds, she seemed truly content to be with me.
An irritating ding from my phone distracted me, and I pulled it from my pocket with a scowl. When the security notification appeared on my screen, a block of ice dropped in my gut.
“Go inside,” I barked, already making my way towards the front of the house.
“What?”
I rounded on her, not sparing her from my fearsome glower. She shrank back, but I couldn’t find the calm to reassure her. Rage clawed through my chest, ripping all the more cruelly because it was edged with panic.
�
�Get inside, and stay inside. No matter what. Now, Marisol!” I bellowed when she didn’t move fast enough.
Her wide eyes and fearful gasp knifed through my heart, but I didn’t stop to muster up comforting words when she fled to follow my ferocious order. The presence of the men at my gates dragged at my attention, taking up too much space in my brain for me to have any reserves left for gentleness with Marisol.
It’s good if she’s afraid, I reasoned as I ran straight for the garage. She won’t try to leave the house if she’s scared of what’s out here.
My own stomach flipped with fear; a sickening sensation I hadn’t felt in years.
But my fear of them was too deeply ingrained to ever eradicate, even if they hadn’t dared to bother me since I’d joined Stefano’s cartel.
The police were at my house. Waiting at my gate. Trying to take me from my home and lock me away.
I reached the garage and threw myself into my nearest SUV. The garage doors took an eternity to open, and a low growl sounded in the back of my throat. By the time I finally slammed down on the gas, my knuckles were white from my death grip on the steering wheel.
I took the turns far too fast as I sped down the first mile of my long driveway, but I forced myself to slow the vehicle when I neared the gates.
Don’t act guilty. Don’t act aggressive. Don’t answer any questions.
The old, well-worn litany set my teeth on edge.
I couldn’t lose my mind to my most feral instincts. Not now. Killing two police officers without cause or prior planning would put the cartel at risk. If the cops didn’t eventually figure it out and pin the murders on me, Stefano would kill me for fucking up our business.
Don’t act guilty. Don’t act aggressive. Don’t answer any questions.
My jaw clenched almost hard enough to crack my teeth, but I managed to get the worst of my rage under control. It surged again when I rounded the final turn and caught sight of the enemy at my gates, but I somehow fought off the red haze that threatened to descend over my mind.
Before I got out of the SUV, I grabbed a Glock from the glove compartment. I didn’t bother to hide it when I stepped down onto the pavement; I let the cops see my weapon hanging at my side in a clear warning.
No matter what happened next, they would not take me from my home.
My vehicle was parked several yards back from the gates, and I stuck close to it. I’d talk to the cops face-to-face, but I wasn’t stupid enough to stray from the cover of the SUV. It would serve as a shield if it came down to a shootout.
“What do you want?” My terse demand was only barely roughened by a growl.
“Raúl Guerrero?” one of them asked with a slight hitch in the middle of my name. He was the older of the two, but his age didn’t seem to have earned him much more bravery than the trembling youth at his side.
I lifted my chin, some of my panic receding in response to their obvious fear of me.
I’m not that fucked-up kid anymore. I’m not in Juárez.
I was in my house. I was behind my gates, which surrounded the multi-million-dollar property that I’d bought with blood and ruthlessness.
“You know who I am.” I spoke in my most chilling, emotionless tone.
The younger man’s pockmarked face grew craggy as his features twisted into a mask of fear. He shuddered and took a step back. His partner glowered at him in stern, silent rebuke. To the coward’s credit, he swallowed hard and returned to stand beside the older man in a show of solidarity.
“The chief of police has requested that you come in with us to answer some questions relating to a recent blog that was posted anonymously online,” he informed me. “It names you specifically in connection with some very serious crimes.”
I barked a frigid laugh. “A blog post? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
“It-it’s from a credible source,” the younger man piped up. “The posts are made anonymously, but they’ve led to a handful arrests in recent weeks. Someone—or it might be several people—has access to detailed information about criminal activities throughout the country. They’re on some sort of crusade to fight back against cartel violence by exposing their crimes. It’s just a conversation!” he exclaimed hastily, melting a bit under the heat of my glower. “The chief just wants to ask you a few questions. He has to be seen doing something, since the blog has proven to provide solid information in the past.”
“We’re here as a courtesy,” the other officer clarified. “You’re not under arrest.”
Despite his reassurance, the unspoken yet hung in the air between us.
“What, exactly, am I being accused of?”
They glanced at each other, and the more mature officer seemed to gather courage from the younger man’s evident fear.
“Kidnapping, human trafficking, and drug trafficking. Those are just allegations, not charges,” he rushed to add, as though that would appease me.
“Is that all? That’s your credible information? Just a list of allegations?”
The man licked his lips nervously. “No, ah… It’s all written up in an extremely detailed account: a story about a woman who’s allegedly being held on your property against her will. Someone named Marisol Cortés.”
All my muscled locked up tight. Even my heart stopped beating.
How could they possibly know her name? How could her story end up on some vigilante crusader’s anonymous blog? Marisol didn’t have access to the internet. And no one knew—
Isabel.
“Get the fuck off my property.” I barely managed to keep my voice lower than a roar.
The younger man cringed back, but his partner managed to stutter. “We-we have orders. You need to come with us. It’s just a few questions, that’s all. It’s simply a matter of—”
I loaded a bullet into the chamber of my Glock. “That is your only warning. Leave.”
Both officers blanched, and their survival instincts sent them scurrying back to their car. I watched them drive away, until their vehicle disappeared around a bend in the road.
Once they were out of sight, my ingrained, fucked-up emotions when it came to cops faded just enough to make room in my head for a fresh surge of rage. It burst through my chest, a black beast with lethal claws. They sank deep into my heart, tearing it asunder.
A purely animal howl reverberated through the wilderness that surrounded my property, shocking every creature within a mile into terrified, cautionary silence.
Marisol had told Isabel everything. She’d plied me with her sweet smiles and supportive reassurances that she would make my excuses for me. She’d made sure I wouldn’t disturb her while she spilled her secrets to Isabel; while she spilled my secrets.
The instant I’d slipped up and given her an opportunity to escape me, she’d betrayed me again.
This time, it was so much more agonizing than when she’d colluded with Daniel and left me for dead. I’d easily survived his pathetic attempt to take over the cartel.
But this…
She brought the police to my house. She wanted me dragged away in chains, caged like an animal.
A feral roar ripped from my chest as something inside me withered and died; an anguished bellow of loss.
Everything had been a lie. Her sweet sighs, her tender touches, her soft submission.
I’d known I shouldn’t believe her lies, but I was too weak to resist temptation. Like a pathetic, needy child, I’d craved for our connection to be real. The false light in her eyes that had entranced me—when she looked at me as though she saw something good in me—had been my undoing.
A cold, maddened laugh encased my body in ice.
Evil was in my blood. It was embedded in my soul, and I’d known that irrevocable truth forever. It was etched into even my earliest memories: the deep, inherent knowledge that I’d been born a monster.
Allowing myself to pretend otherwise with Marisol was the greatest shame of my life.
Evil was my strength. It’d kept me alive and mad
e me powerful. Untouchable.
And I’d let my ridiculous infatuation with a frail, deceptive woman to strip me down to nothing.
I raked both hands through my hair, scoring my scalp as though I could claw the treacherous images of her sweet smile from my mind.
I will not let her ruin me.
I’ll ruin her.
She would pay for what she’d done to me.
Moving with savage purpose, I threw myself into the SUV and tore back down the drive. Cruel punishments for Marisol rattled through my mind, but the shameful memory of my cowardice when facing the police danced around the edges of those ruthless plans.
I had to do immediate damage control.
“Fuck!” My fist released its white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel to punch the dashboard. I was going to have to reveal my lie to Stefano. He’d find out about the blog post soon enough. He’d know that I’d been keeping Marisol at my house, when I was supposed to have brought her to Carmen.
There was another call I had to make first. I needed to at least be able to inform Stefano that I was doing what I could to clean up the mess I’d made.
Sebastián Castillo answered on the first ring. “Yes?”
“I need you to pick up Isabel Vera.” I didn’t waste time providing an explanation, and I knew I could rely on Sebastián. He wouldn’t question me. “Find her, and do whatever it takes to confine her. Stefano will want to talk to her very soon.”
“Okay, boss.”
I ended the call, confident that he’d handle the other little traitor in our organization.
My fingers twisted around the steering wheel, itching for an outlet for the aggression that churned just beneath my skin.
I gritted my teeth and forced myself to make the call to Stefano. If he chose to kill me for this, I hoped he’d at least hold off for a few hours. Better yet, several days; long enough to allow me time to make Marisol thoroughly regret crossing me.
“Raúl. To what do I owe the pleasure?” Stefano greeted me with his usual deceptively delighted tone. He wouldn’t be bothering with the pretense once I made my confession.