by Nicole Nwosu
“She seems infatuated with you.” She thinks you’re in love with her.
“Alexis and I have known each other for a long time. It’s nothing serious.”
I grabbed the soccer ball. “You might want to tell her that.”
Sam followed me to the porch. “I’ll see you tomorrow? It was kind of boring without you around. Who else am I going to argue with?”
“Caleb?”
“He ends up taking my side after a couple of words.” He tilted his head. “So . . . tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow,” I agreed. “’Night, Sam.”
“’Night, Hazel.” He walked down the front porch steps and to his grandmother’s.
22
Like a Hormonal Pregnant Woman
Andrew called on Tuesday afternoon. Andrew, who’d been texting me repeatedly for the past few days. “Sorry,” I said. “I’ve been taking a break—”
“From everyone? Just because you and Jasmine had a huge blowout?” At least he knew.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” My stomach rumbled. I had been so caught up in doing as much homework as I could in the morning that my body had decided that I should eat now that it was afternoon.
“Mace, it’ll be okay,” Andrew said. “Talk to her when the break’s over.” He didn’t allow me to respond, changing the subject to prevent me from arguing. “Caleb says he has a short play he wants to show us.” The mention of Caleb’s name brought me back to the topic of Sam and I sucked in a breath. It didn’t go unnoticed by Andrew. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
“Sam’s in Redmond,” I explained. “Turns out our grandmothers are good friends and she lives down the street.”
“That’s a shitty coincidence. I don’t know if the universe is on your side or not.”
“I’m not sure either.”
Andrew’s mom’s voice rang out in the background, calling his name. “I’ll talk to you later,” I said.
After we hung up, I went downstairs to find Justin and Emma talking on the couch in the living room.
“You missed breakfast,” Nonna said. “I saved you some pancakes.” She handed me a plate of pancakes and a bottle of maple syrup as I headed for the table.
I shot her a look of gratitude, and was eating quickly when she said, “I’m concerned about your digestive system.”
“Dad’s been saying that for years.”
After I finished eating, the doorbell rang and I opened the door to Sam. “Hey,” I said as I closed the door behind him. He entered the living room where Justin and Emma were talking.
“Emma,” Sam said.
She turned to look at him and leapt off the couch to give him a hug. “My sister’s been hogging you.”
He reciprocated the hug. “It’s good to see you too.”
Nonna walked in and pointed at me and Sam. “Try to get home early. Rain’s coming later on.”
“Do you like being here?” Sam asked me once we were on our way to wherever he was taking me.
“Yeah, we used to come here all the time when we were kids, and Nonna’s really cool.” Sam nodded, keeping his eyes on the road. “What about you?”
“I like it. It’s quieter than Port Meadow.” His eyes flicked over to me. “It’s kind of strange how our grandmothers happened to become friends—what are the chances?”
“Yeah, it’s strange.”
Sam rolled down the driver’s side window. I rested my head against the window on my side, looking at him from the corner of my eye. The corner of Sam’s mouth raised when he saw me looking at him but he didn’t say anything. My cheeks burned and I took out my buzzing phone, answering the call. “Yup?”
“Why can’t you say hello like a normal person?” Austin asked.
“Hello, Austin, what do you want?”
“I’m bored,” he whined.
“Then go to Jon Ming’s or something.” Placing the phone between my ear and shoulder, I took out my camera. When I pushed the button, the window on my side of the car rolled down and I took pictures of the passing scenery.
“All the guys are busy until later.”
“Then you’re screwed,” I said.
“What are you doing?”
“Sam’s taking me somewhere.”
“Oh.” He paused and I stopped taking pictures to bring my phone away from my ear at a safe distance.
“Yo, Sam!” he yelled through the speaker.
Sam chuckled as he turned onto a street. “Hey, Austin.”
I brought the phone back to my ear in time to hear Austin say, “You and Sam are spending the break together? How? Is this why Jasmine gave you that look in the cafeteria the other day?”
“What look?”
“As if you had a thing for him or something. Do you?”
“Bye, Austin.”
“Wait—”
I hung up on him, hoping Sam hadn’t heard what Austin said.
“We’re here,” Sam said.
We got out of the car, slamming the doors shut. “You brought me to a café?”
“It’s like the diner. Remember detention?”
“Mr. Oliver still gives me weird looks like I’m going to scream in homeroom.” Sam chuckled, holding the door open for me. The place did remind me of the diner back home. Same atmosphere of teenagers talking, but with the smell of bread and coffee.
“Let’s get something to eat, yeah?” Sam suggested.
“I just ate breakfast.”
“You had brunch. It’s about one o’clock, Hazel.” I punched him lightly on the arm. “Plus, we always get food. It’s tradition.”
When we sat down at a table after getting our food, a voice asked, “Sam?” Oh. My. God.
“Hey.” Alexis took a seat beside him. “I had a great time yesterday. We should do that again.” She twirled her brunet hair and batted her eyelashes. I almost puked. Sam agreed and Alexis’s eyes flicked over to me with distaste. Don’t worry. I’m looking at you the exact same way. “Mabel, right?” she said snidely.
If she was trying to insult me by forgetting my name, she needed to try harder. “It’s Macy. Hazel to some.”
Sam cracked a smile. Alexis turned to him, looking at the drink in his hands. “You always get that drink.”
“It’s the only one I like,” he said.
“It’s the only one you’ve picked for so long.” She giggled. “You have to choose a different drink.”
Sam looked over at me. “What do you think I should get?”
Alexis pointed at a drink on the menu for him to try. They spoke naturally, with their banter and inside jokes. Sam excused himself to go to the bathroom and moments later, Alexis said, “Did you know Sam sings? He used to sing all the time when we were younger. Played soccer well too.”
“We’re on the same team.”
Alexis’s eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “You’re on the boys’ team? That explains a lot.”
When Sam came back, she acted like she hadn’t said anything. I wasn’t having it.
My hands fished out my phone and I ignored the notifications, pretending to read a text one of the boys had sent to the group chat. “Nonna wants me back home for something. Any chance you can give me a ride?” When Alexis protested, I spoke faster. “Or I can find my own way back. I’ll see you later.”
I left the diner quickly, irritated at people like Alexis, like Beatrice, who always attempted to make me feel less than I was. To make things worse, the light rain Nonna had warned me about started to fall. I was pulling out my phone to call Nonna when a hand clasped my elbow. “You think I’m going to leave you stranded? C’mon.”
I followed Sam to his car. As he started the engine, he looked worried. “You okay?”
I nodded as he backed out of the parking space and drove down the road. My thoughts moved from Alexis
to Beatrice to Jasmine to Sam. My knee bounced up and down. I leaned against the door, my head on the window. The houses and trees blurred around us. Suddenly, the car rolled to a stop at the side of the street. The car engine turned off as Sam twisted the key in the ignition. He turned to me, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” I muttered.
“You’re a horrible liar. I’m not leaving until you tell me.”
“Fine.” Unclipping my seat belt, I got out of the car and slammed the door behind me.
I was mad. At Alexis and Beatrice for the way they were. At the fight Jasmine and I had had before this. At Jasmine’s dad for doing what he had done to their family. I was mad at Sam for being here when I needed distance to think things through. I was mad at stupid Mother Nature who wanted it to rain today.
“Hazel, stop,” Sam yelled, grabbing my arm. “Why are you so mad?”
I whipped my head around to face him, my hair moving in wet locks. “Leave me alone.”
I tried to pull my grip from him, failing. “Hazel, tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong, it’s just . . .” I paused. “. . . your taste in women is very questionable.”
“Are you talking about Alexis? Wait.” His eyes widened and he let go of my arm. “Were you jealous?”
“Why would I be jealous of her?” I exclaimed, walking away.
“Would you talk to me and stop acting like a child?”
He bumped into my back as I stopped in my tracks. When I turned around, I poked my finger in his hard chest. “I’m not acting like a child. If I was a child I wouldn’t notice these stupid things about you.”
He stared at me with disbelief. “What stupid things?”
“I don’t know. Your stupid hair and stupid face. How you talk in that stupid accent of yours and whenever you say Hazel it sounds weird but fits because your voice is . . . you know what, I’m just sick of it. Right now I hate you.”
A lock of his hair fell into his puzzled face. As I got wetter, I got even angrier, my fists clenching and heart thudding hard inside my chest.
“What could I have possibly done? I didn’t hurt you in any way.”
“You didn’t, I’m just . . . I’m just mad at myself for having feelings for someone like you.” There. I’d finally had the guts to tell him I felt like a hormonal pregnant woman, my emotions all over the place.
Sam froze. “You can’t have feelings for me.”
“Give me one reason why.” Determination replaced the hurt I should have been feeling over what he’d said.
“For the past two years all I’ve done is hurt and disappoint people—my parents, my brother—and I can’t hurt you, Hazel. I can’t hurt Cedric either.” His eyes grew dim. “I’ll give you space again, and that might help whatever is going on here.”
“Don’t you realize I’ve been trying?” I pushed my hair out of my face in frustration. “And it hasn’t been working. Then Alexis comes by and you guys are friends and she clearly wants more too.”
He took a cautious step toward me. “This conversation is not about Alexis. It’s about you and me. You’re mad at me and I get that. It’s what happens when you bottle up emotions: you explode.”
“I think I know what happens when you do that.” My voice was tight. “Like when you hurt Drake. Or Oscar for what he said to you.” Sam suddenly looked agitated. He was getting angry and I was happy he was experiencing what I was feeling. “And what I’m feeling sucks because I know how you are with other girls. I mean, when was the last time you slept with a girl?”
“Beatrice. Every other girl you probably heard about after her is a lie.”
No part of me wanted to believe him. “You’re lying.”
Sam closed his eyes for a moment before opening them. “Why would I ever lie to you?”
“Why wouldn’t you lie to me?” He looked conflicted. “Why, Sam?”
Then he kissed me.
Sam fricking Cahill kissed me.
His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me to him, and my response was quick. My hands on his shoulders, my mind hazy as my eyes closed. This isn’t happening. But the intensity of the kiss and the way my heart was pounding begged to differ. I met his intent with my own and his hands moved from my waist, trying to get lower, and I slapped his shoulder softly. He laughed against my lips and I found myself grinning back as he deepened the kiss.
When his tongue touched mine, a sound escaped the back of my throat and I coiled my hands in his soft hair. A meteor could have crashed and I wouldn’t have noticed in that moment. When we pulled away from each other, my eyes flew open. I didn’t know how to feel, but somehow it was happiness—and shock—at what Sam had done.
23
Spark, Spark, Bang, Bang
I laughed.
Most likely because this moment occurred with the most unexpected person and I didn’t know how to feel. Sam looked at me, puzzled. Then thunder echoed in the sky. He tugged on my hand. “C’mon.”
We ran back to the car then headed straight for Nonna’s house. Shortly after, I sat in the living room, a couple of pillows and blankets surrounding me. Nonna had left a note for me on the fridge saying that Justin was at Emma’s house and she was over at Lucy’s. I got up and looked out the window as the rain got worse, trees blowing frantically in the powerful wind.
I sat back down on a blanket, covering myself with the other one and leaning back against the couch. Sam came downstairs from the bathroom and sat next to me. My heart heaved in my chest and guilt coursed through my entire body.
“Look at me.”
Tears pricked at my eyes and he slid an arm around me, pulling me into an embrace. “We kissed,” I said.
“I know.” He sighed. “You should stay with my cousin. I mean, I want to be with you, Hazel, but . . .” My heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest. “I think we both—I don’t want to lose you because I could mess up what we have. We can’t be together. I don’t want to do that to you.”
His words only reminded me of why I hadn’t wanted to feel this way about him in the first place. “Do we just forget about it?”
“I don’t know. You obviously still have feelings for Cedric, and he doesn’t have to know about the kiss.” Sam sounded like he was trying to convince himself. Convince both of us. “He isn’t here right now; it’s only me,” he added.
After a couple of moments, he cleared his throat. “I have an idea.”
“What is it?” I ask cautiously.
“We have a few days together before we go back.”
“And . . . ?”
“It means that we could try something out here and then everything could go back to normal when we go home. We need to get each other out of our systems and move on.”
If we were back in Port Meadow, his proposal would’ve been dismissed. In Redmond, this was our bubble, away from the worry of home. “That sounds complicated.”
“Maybe it does. I know that you have feelings for Cedric. We may have our fallouts but as strange as our relationship is, he’s a good guy, and you deserve somebody good for you. If we have these days together then we can say we had this time. And then we’ll go home, you can go back to my cousin, and I will go back to being the . . .”
“The player, the bad boy, as the school calls you?” I suggested.
He shook his head. “I’m not that. I’m just Sam, Sam Cahill. Do you want to go along with this? We could try. Think of it as just our friendship with the couple shit added on.”
I couldn’t think properly with him sitting so close to me. The brief conversation I had with Justin back in Port Meadow about feelings crossed my mind. Like my brother had advised, I went with my heart, which was pounding so erratically. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“We do whatever this is and forget about it after the break. We’ll be g
ood.” I didn’t know how I would forget about it, but I didn’t care about that now.
“We’ll be good,” he echoed.
Then a tickle in my throat caused me to cough into my arm. “I’m pretty sure you got me sick.”
“You’re blaming me for kissing you?”
“I’m not.”
“I don’t regret it.” He pressed his lips against mine again. At this point, my heart was doing a full-out gymnastics session. I allowed myself to get lost in him. Was this what falling in love felt like?
The growl from my stomach made me pull away from him.
“What’s wrong?”
Cedric’s face flashed through my head. “Nothing, I’m starving,” I lied. “Come on, Nonna has lasagna in the fridge.”
Sam turned the oven on, setting the timer and the temperature before sticking the lasagna in the oven. I grabbed a chair and sat behind the tiny island in the middle of the room. He brought out a cutting board, then grabbed some vegetables from the fridge. I took out my phone and found a message from Caleb. “Do you think tomato sauce is a jam?”
“What?”
“What?” I mocked Sam’s accent. “Caleb’s asking stupid questions.”
I pressed my finger against the screen to call Caleb. He optioned to video chat me instead and I accepted. He was lying down on his bed holding his phone above him to reveal his face. “Hi, princess.”
“Hey, Charming. Tomato sauce?”
“Do you think it’s a jam? Because I think it is.”
I let Caleb see the both of us, leaning my phone against a fruit basket and he said, “Look who it is. Mister I’ll-hang-up-on-my-friend-because-it’s-fun-to Samuel Cahill.”
“Tomato sauce is not a jam, Caleb,” Sam said.
“Tomato is a fruit,” Caleb explained. “Therefore tomato sauce should be considered a jam.”
Sam put the vegetables into a pan while I grabbed some ice cream from the freezer. “Applesauce isn’t a jam,” Sam pointed out.
“I’m going with my theory,” Caleb said as I took a spoonful of ice cream out of the carton.
Sam suddenly grabbed my hand and put the spoon in his mouth. He removed his hand from the spoon as Caleb spoke up. “What just happened?”