When Jim was sure Keira had got what she needed, he grasped her hips riding her and pushing her body to the limits again. “Yes…Shit…Yes!” He screamed as he continued to pump into her wet core. He let go of her wrists to grab her waist instead. The bed creaked from the pounding it was getting from their lovemaking and the sound was turning her back on.
With a loud growl, he tossed his head causing the ends of his hair to brush over them as his orgasm rocketed through his entire body almost causing him to black out from the sheer pleasure of it. He collapsed on Keira’s soft body after it was over.
Keira felt her breasts crushed against the hardness of Jim’s hard chest. Skin to skin, they were like one person. Closing her eyes, she tried to relax as Jim separated their bodies and fell on the bed next to her. Her skin still prickled with heat even after their love making was over. Keira vaguely sensed Jim covering their drenched bodies with a light sheet, kissing her on the forehead and pulling her exhausted body close to his before drifting off to sleep.
Chapter Thirty-Four
“You let me die,” the man yelled at her. “You were supposed to save me but you didn’t!” He took a step towards her with this crazed look in his light blue eyes.
“I’m so sorry. I should have helped you,” Keira cried as the man ran up to her. He grabbed her by the arms and shook her so hard that her teeth rattled. “Damn you! I had a family to get back to. You should have died instead of me!”
“Stop…” Keira yelled, shoving at the man, but he wouldn’t stop shaking her. “Let go of me!”
“Not until you admit what you did,” he threatened shaking her harder than the first time.
“Leave me alone!” Keira was totally lost in the nightmare completely and utterly caught up with fighting the man who had been haunting her subconscious for months. The more he touched her the more she tried to get away from his touch, but he wasn’t going away no matter how she prayed for him too.
* * * *
“Keira, wake up!” Jim yelled shaking her for the fourth time. He’d been sound asleep until he got awakened by her frightened screams. He never thought after the surprise shower and outstanding sex they shared Keira would have a nightmare screaming and yelling about the plane crash. As long as he lived he would never forget the first scream that shook him from his sleep.
“Baby…wake up!”
“No!” Keira hollered sitting straight up in bed with a wild-eyed look, shaking with sweat pouring down her beautiful face. “What happened?”
“You were having a bad dream about the plane crash,” Jim pulled Keira against his chest and rubbed his hand down her damp back. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I can’t…I won’t.” Keira tried to move out of his arms, but he tightened his grip. He didn’t have a clue Keira was being so tormented by what happened to her. She couldn’t keep this all bottled up inside for much longer.
She needed to talk to someone. Maybe he could get the ball rolling first and then find a professional for her to see. The thought of his woman being so terrified made him sick and angry all at once. He would be able to fight a man if he was physically harming her, but he couldn’t fight the nightmares running around in her head.
“Keira, please open up to me. It tore at my heart to see you so upset and I couldn’t do anything to help you because it’s in your mind. Let me in,” Jim asked, softly.
“I’m not used to depending on someone else for support,” she confessed. “I usually bounce back from things pretty quickly, but not this. It’s horrible and painful how the crash is staying with me. I should have died with everyone else, but I was spared for some reason.”
“You went through a traumatic experience, some of it’s bound to stay with you; however, you can’t let it eat you up from the inside. That’s the worst thing you can do.”
Unable to take what Jim was telling her, Keira shoved him away and got out of the bed. Picking his t-shirt off the floor, she pulled it on covering herself. “You aren’t getting it,” she said as she paced in front of the bed. “I have tried to get over it, but I can’t. It’s burned into my memory forever.
“Do you know that for a month after the crash while I was in the hospital I would scream in my sleep ‘Grab your ankles’, or something else my flight attendant training taught me? I was in really bad shape.”
“Sweetheart, why didn’t you tell Charisma about this?” Jim asked.
“How could I burden my best friend with this after she went through such a difficult pregnancy and labor with the baby? I wasn’t about to be so selfish. My problems were nothing compared to hers.”
“You know Charisma would have helped you the best way she could. The two of you have been friends since college and a friendship like that can hold up through anything. You and Charisma are more like sisters instead of best friends.”
Keira wasn’t going to do what Jim was pushing her to do, so she wished that he would stop pressing her. This was her life and no one else’s.
“Death is a hard thing to swallow in general, but when you’re the only survivor on a plane full of people it becomes ten times worse. Do you know that I keep having recurring dreams about the same man? He continues to die and each way gets more painful. The one I had last week showed him with no limbs. How could he save himself without those?” Keira waved her arms in the air. The longer Keira spoke about the crash the worst Jim felt. He had thought so many bad things about her when they first met and a few more after she gave him so much trouble about her father’s shop, but that entire attitude was hiding so much pain. Pain that he vowed to take away if it was the last thing he would do. Keira didn’t deserve to be carrying this weight around on her small shoulders.
“I can’t talk about this anymore,” Keira said. She stopped pacing and stood at the foot of the bed looking worn down and stunning all at the same time.
“Baby, you have to unburden yourself. Is there more you aren’t telling me?”
Of course there was more, yet she wasn’t going to tell Jim the worst of it. He may not love or care about her, but this confession would make him hate her. It was better left unsaid and in the back of her mind.
“Keira, I asked you a question.”
“Yes, there is something else. I can promise you that if you hear this you will walk out of my door and never set foot in my house again.”
“Sweetheart, I’m older than you and have lived through some horrible things that none of the guys know about. I’m positive whatever secret you’re holding in about the crash won’t scare me away from you.”
She hadn’t realized what a powerful opponent she had chosen to discuss the plane crash with. She couldn’t deny the truth any longer. She was falling in love with Jim and she didn’t know when those emotions had wormed their way into her heart.
Would she be able to handle it if Jim did walk out after he found out the truth? Quickly, she banished the thought from her mind. There wasn’t time for such thoughts. She could think about them later if Jim did run after her confession.
Wiping her sweaty palms on Jim’s shirt, Keira calmed her nerves while she got her thoughts together. “I haven’t been completely honest about the plane crash,” she confessed, softly.
“What have you lied about?”
“The man didn’t happen to go over the cliff. I let him fall.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Pensively, Keira looked at Jim from her position at the foot of the bed. She began to wonder if she should feel some guilt from the relief she felt for telling someone about what really happened with the plane crash.
The event had been holding her down for so long that she never thought she ever would be able to confess to anyone about what she had done. She would understand if Jim got dressed and ran from the room like the hounds of hell were after him.
She was curious that the calm expression on Jim’s face hadn’t changed since she’d spoken her deepest secret. It was almost like he hadn’t heard her or he was in total shock that he had be
en sleeping with a murderer.
“Did you hear what I just told you?” Keira asked.
“Yes, I heard every single word that came out of your mouth, but I know you don’t expect me to believe you killed a man in cold blood because I won’t. So, why not tell me all of the events on the plane leading up to the crash?” Jim patted the spot on the bed next to him.
Keira got back on the bed and tucked her legs at the side so she was facing Jim. How could she penetrate the deliberate confusion Jim was trying to give to her? Taking a deep breath, she had to fight her own battle of personal demons not to freak out while telling the story.
“Everything was going perfect that day from arriving at the airport early, checking our emergency equipment and catering supplies. The greeting of the passengers went the smoothest it had gone in months. Even the first class passengers weren’t throwing a fit if their wait was a little longer than usual.
“See, usually there is one person, maybe two, that want their stuff and they won’t stop bothering you until it’s up to standard for them. None of that occurred the day of the crash and should have been a warning sign to all of us.
“While the other flight attendants were making sure the overhead bins were secure and helping out anyone who might be having a problem, I was doing a second passenger count. Some companies don’t require it anymore, but the pilots still like it so I did it. After all of the overhead bins were shut and the passengers were seated, the flight was ready for departure.
“Before the door was closed Tiffany handed me a copy of the manifest that consisted of all of the first class passengers, passengers who might have any special needs which might include the meal, and the gate connections.
“After that we pointed out the exits, enabling the slides to inflate if the doors come open. We got through the safety video, one final cabin walk through and then Tiffany, Amanda, and I strapped ourselves in for the long flight. God, we leveled-off to 10,000 feet without a problem and all of us were talking about how amazingly good things were going for us that day. Now, I think we might have cursed ourselves by being too happy.”
“Why would you say that?” Jim said as he reached out and placed his hand on her knee.
“It wasn’t two hours later when somehow we suddenly hit some unexpected turbulence. The beverage cart flew by and crashed into the rear of the cabin. Oxygen masks started falling down which sets off a chain reaction and then people were praying, screaming and clutching each other in fear.
“I started telling passengers to prepare just in case we crashed and soon as the words are out of my mouth, we felt the jolt from the plane hitting something and I mean not three seconds later the plane starts going down and I mean a FAST!
“After that everything is such a blur.” Keira cried brushing away tears. “I do recall Tiffany and Amanda yelling my name before something hit me on the head and everything went black.”
“Something hit you…I never knew that,” Jim said rubbing her leg.
“I told you I hate talking about this. It makes the hole in my heart even wider. Can’t you leave it alone? Just leave it alone,” she pleaded.
“No, you need to get through this first time. It will help you get out the rest of the ordeal.”
The undeniable and dreadful facts were Jim was telling her the truth. She did need to get some of this off her chest before she thought about going seeing Dr. Gearan, because she wouldn’t be able to get her job back without his approval.
“Yes…I think it was a piece of luggage or something. When I woke up all the back end of the plane was gone and so were most of the passengers. I was in such shock I couldn’t do anything at first, but stand there and look around. But it didn’t last long before my training kicked in. I checked the other passengers that were still strapped into their seats, but none of them were alive either. I tried to get to the cock pit, but it had caved in.
“I started screaming for anyone to say anything if they could hear me. It seems like I waited for hours and I thought I was truly alone until I heard a faint sound coming from the back of the plane. Which I thought was impossible since most of it was completely gone and a huge hole was left in its place.
“However, I ran over there despite the fact my head was still spinning and blood was pouring down the left side of my face. If there was somebody out there who needed my help I was going to give it to them no matter the cost.
“Stepping as close as I could to the opening I saw a man hanging onto a thin piece of metal with two hands and half of the missing passengers were broken on the rocks below him. I had no clue that I could scream so loud until I spotted Tiffany and Amanda down there among the dead.
“The man kept hollering at me to calm down so I could help him back into the plane,” Keira said as she looked past Jim and found a spot on the wall to concentrate on instead of his eyes.
“Keira, look at me,” Jim demanded. “I need to see your eyes to make sure you are still with me and not back in your memories.”
“I won’t be able to finish the story if I look at you. I swear I’ll be fine. I need to get all of this out in the open, however, I can’t stand to see the pity hidden in your eyes. I won’t have the power to do what I have to do.”
“Baby…”
“Jim, let me do this my way or I’m done talking about it,” Keira warned.
“Go ahead.” Jim grabbed her hand, but didn’t do anything else.
Keira fought away the urge to snatch her hand away. She wasn’t used to depending on too many people in her life besides Charisma and her family. Having Jim here with her like this was a bit unsettling, but she would have to teach herself how to accept help more.
“I had to fight off going into negative panic pretty fast or I was going to be in bad shape and someone was counting on me to save his life too. It took me less than five minutes to get myself under control to help the man.”
“What did you try to do?”
“I got down on my stomach and reached my hand out for him to take it, but he was scared because of our height and weight difference. He was about six feet one and around a hundred eighty five pounds. I assured him he had nothing to be scared of, that I would be able to pull him back into the plane.
“He stared at my hand for a minute or two before the let go with his left hand and reached for mine. I was able to grab it pretty quickly, but I slid more towards the edge and that’s when panic set in. All I could think about was what would happen if I let him go and he fell down there with all other poor people.”
“Keira…?” Jim whispered, rubbing her suddenly cold hand.
“His name was Josh Strickland? I learned that after he was dead.”
“Sweetheart, you left out something. How did Josh fall?”
“Don’t you know? I wasn’t strong enough to hold on to him. He lost his grip with his right hand that was holding the metal rod and went down taking me with him. But somehow I got tangled up in something and didn’t hit the rocks like he did. I’ll never forget his ‘please God save me’ screams.”
“I should be dead with everyone else, but I got spared and I don’t see why?” Confused, Keira tried to tug her hand away from Jim; however, he wouldn’t let her go.
“I can tell you why that,” Jim said as he laid her down on the bed covering her body with his. “You were meant to be here to make a change in someone’s life. The day of the crash wasn’t your day to die and you should be so thankful. I know that I’m very grateful you’re still here.”
“Why? When we aren’t making love we’re at each other throats about everything from the shop to your ex-wife.” She was realistic and wasn’t about to let Jim pretend the only thing they had in common wasn’t sex.
“Keira Winters, I want you to listen to me because this is the last time I’m going to tell you this. I’m here with you because I like how you make me feel.”
“How do I make you feel?”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Jim hesitated, measuring Keira for a moment.
His mind was congested with a touch of fear at telling her how he was growing to care about her. Every fiber in his body pushed him to do it, but there was a nagging doubt in the back of his mind that Keira could hurt him worse than Kathy ever had, but it wasn’t going to let that stop him.
“You make me feel like I’m the most important man in the world. Do you know that you’re the only woman who gets what makes me tick? You’re so refreshing from the other women I’ve dated in my past before my marriage and after.
“Even when you aren’t around all I have to do it think about you and I get this smile on my face. I used to tease the guys about how quickly they fell in love with their wives, but I’m beginning to see that when you have a good woman in your life, it’s hard not to jump in feet first into a relationship and give it all that you got plus more.”
“Are you telling me this because you don’t want me to feel bad about killing Josh?” Keira asked tracing the side of his face with her fingertips.
“No…I’m telling you this because it’s how I feel. You’re quick to give out ‘helpful advice’ to show me or anyone else they can do better. At first, I thought you did it to be malicious, but I know that I’m wrong now.”
“I never want to hurt anyone by being honest. I only point out errors because I want my friends to live up to their best potential.”
Grabbing the edge of his t-shirt, Jim dragged it inch by inch up Keira’s body until it was off her and tossed over the side of the bed. “Do you think I’ve lived up to my best potential when it comes to you?” he questioned as he ran the palms of his hands over her nipples. “I mean I’m not against you pointing out things I might need to improve to make you happier.”
“Hmmm…I can’t think of anything I have a problem with,” Keira moaned lifting her back slightly off the bed.
“I have a feeling you aren’t telling me the entire truth.” Leaning down, Jim licked at the tips of her breasts before drawing a nipple into his mouth. He rolled his tongue around Keira’s plump nipple like it was a sugary Werther’s Original.
The Men of CCD: Help Wanted Page 13