Micah changes the topic and asks why Jonas pulled me aside last night. Says he checked on us from his spot in the arcade a few times. I smile and relay the conversation. Good to know Micah always has my back, even when I don’t know it.
“That’s pretty ballsy of him,” Micah states. “No lie, he’s spent a lot of time with Cora. I’m shocked they’ve only remained friends all this time.”
“Yeah, we touched on that when he admitted he was in love with her.”
“And what did he say?”
I chuckle. “He said he’s actually tried a couple of times to push for more, but she stopped him. The only time she didn’t was when I left, and she was pissed and drunk. She leaned in to kiss him and he cut her off. Told her he didn’t want to be a backup option. She told him how sad she was and that she just wanted to feel something again.”
When Jonas told me that last tidbit, I cringed. I did that to her. Made her so desperate for affection she was willing to fall into the arms of someone she didn’t love. Not romantically, anyway. Hearing the truth was a hundred punches to the gut. I never want her heart to feel such depravity again. Never want her to be desperate for love because she feels she has none.
“Dude, that’s some crazy shit. All in all, he’s a good guy. He’s never done anything horrible to Cora, Shelly, or Erin. Their relationship is odd, but they all have a good time together. I hate to say it, but he helped her smile again.”
“Fuck.”
“Don’t beat yourself up over it. For years, there was nothing you could do about it. And you can’t change the past. It’s done. So now, you just move forward. She loves you, bro. Always has, always will. He just kept her afloat while you were gone. Be thankful for that. Some of the shit Shelly told me painted a pretty ugly picture. She didn’t leave her house for months after you left. Almost flunked school. A lot of people were worried about her.”
Although Cora and I stopped talking after a couple months, she was always front and center in my mind. The times we did talk after I moved to California, she never portrayed what Micah tells me now. She masked her pain, and she did it well. Either that or I relieved it when we talked. I can only imagine how it all went to shit when I stopped talking with her altogether. Every time I hear a new snippet about our time apart, the fault line in my heart opens wider.
But I deserve the pain. Deserve to let it tear me apart inside. Every horrible memory. All the sleepless nights and days of depression. Because her pain is my pain. And I pledge to never let her experience such pain again.
Micah and I eat breakfast in silence. Once we finish, we pay and head to my appointment. I crank the radio while we drive, silencing any further conversation. I need to clear my head and music is my favorite form of therapy.
When we pull into the parking lot, Micah laughs loud enough I hear him over the music. After I cut the engine, Micah asks, “So what irreversible decision are you making today?”
“Shut the fuck up.” I get out of the car and walk into the tattoo shop, Micah following in my wake.
I go through the normal spiel with the lady at the front counter, filling out the form and providing identification, then sit and wait to be called back. She twirls her pink hair and pops her bubblegum loudly.
Ten minutes later, I sit in a chair with my shirt off. The artist prints the tattoo and Micah is staring at me with a gleam in his eyes.
“Speak your mind,” I tell him.
“You’re really going to do this?” Micah asks.
“Isn’t it rather obvious I’m doing this?”
“You can still back out.”
“Backing out is not an option.” I shake my head at him.
“But this is different than the other one, bro. And it doesn’t get more permanent.”
I cock my brow at him. “Actually, other permanent things have also crossed my mind.”
Just as Micah is about to give me a ration of shit, the tattoo artist walks back in. He verifies I want the tattoo on my left pec and presses the layout to my skin. A couple minutes later, the tattoo gun is piercing my skin and a new form of euphoria filters through my bloodstream. This is different from the last tattoo. More. Everlasting. And I wouldn’t change it for anything.
“So, who’s Cora?” the artist asks.
“Girlfriend,” I say. Micah makes a face that indicates otherwise. “Although, I’m hoping she’ll be more one day.” At this, Micah shakes his head.
“Don’t we all, man. My old lady and I have been together for years. Can’t imagine life without her. Just haven’t bucked up the courage to ask her yet. You?”
“Soon.”
“Really?” Micah asks in disbelief. “You have got to be shitting me.”
I drill holes in his head with my death stare. “Yeah. Why would you think otherwise? She’s it for me, bro. Always has been. Just because you turned into a manwhore…”
“Let’s not talk about me right now. We’ll be here all day. Maybe we should be talking about the fact that you plan to marry Cora. Have you asked her?”
The artist laughs at our banter. “Not yet. But I’m not waiting. When the time comes, it’s happening.”
“You’re ridiculous,” Micah says.
“Why? Because I love her? Because I refuse to fuck this shit up again? Nothing will keep me from her now or in the future.”
Before Micah chimes in with something snarky, the artist speaks up. “You two whine like a pair of bitches.” He laughs, then goes back to the tattoo.
I tip my head back and close my eyes, shutting Micah out and dropping our conversation. He is such a pain in my ass sometimes. When the tattoo is done, I check it in a mirror and pay the artist.
When we get back in the car, Micah speaks up for the first time in an hour. “What’s the French line?”
I tell him the line I memorized a lifetime ago. “Tu es les étoiles de ma lune. It translates to you are the stars to my moon.”
“You really are lost,” he says before laughing and cranking the music.
“In the best way. One more stop to make, okay?”
He nods. “Yeah, sure. Where to now?” I don’t answer him as we pull onto the street and head south. He shakes his head and shrugs. “Whatever, bro. It’s your day.”
Damn right it is.
We arrive at Cora’s house just before six. In her driveway is her Subaru, a motorcycle and a Beetle. I park behind her car and glance over to the window by the back patio. Through a crack in the curtains, I spot people running around like rapid fire. I squint and shift my head to the side to get a better view, but don’t see anything else.
What the hell are they doing in there?
“Don’t be upset,” Micah says. When I shift to look at him with narrowed eyes, he shrugs. “She wanted to do something for your birthday.”
For the first time in years, my birthday isn’t an upsetting day. In fact, this is the best birthday I have had since my teens. Heat spreads through me like warm honey. She intentionally planned a gathering for my birthday. Not just so she and I could spend time together, but also so others could celebrate too. God, I missed celebrating birthdays and holidays and monumental occasions with her. They were never elaborate, but she added flare to the day.
“I’m not upset,” I say. “Far from it. Best birthday I’ve had in a while.”
We step out of the car and take our time walking to the back door. No doubt Micah texted Shelly as we got closer, so it should be no surprise when we knock. Just as I bring my hand up to knock, the door flies open and Cora stands on the other side. She is all smiles and slightly out of breath.
My girl. My. Girl.
“I was beginning to wonder how long you were going to sit in the driveway,” she says.
“You knew we were out here?” I ask.
“Yeah. Shelly saw you turn onto the street. Come in, come in.” She waves us in and her excitement is infectious.
Micah steps past her and wanders into the house. But I step up to her, my mouth an inch from hers. �
��Thank you. This is perfect.” I wrap my arms around her and kiss her forehead.
“You’re welcome. Glad you like it.”
“I love it. I love you.”
She squeezes me tighter. “I love you, too. Come on, everyone is waiting.”
We step into her small house. Once in the open space, I scan the rooms. Added to her normal decor are shiny happy birthday banners and cheesy kid’s decor. On one wall is a plastic version of pin the tail on the donkey. The moment I see it, I burst out laughing. She loops her arm in mine and keeps us going forward.
On the kitchen countertop is a small round cake, Happy Birthday piped in white over the black icing. Next to the cake is an array of finger foods and alcohol. When I glance over at the dining table, which has a couple chairs added to the ends, I spot a small pile of gifts next to a stack of board and card games.
“I vote food first,” I say.
“Second that,” Micah chimes in.
And just like that, we all clamber into a line and grab platefuls of finger foods. We clear the games and gifts from the table and gather around to eat. When our plates are almost empty, Shelly pipes up and suggests I choose the first game. I riffle through the choices and go with the adult version of Watch Your Mouth.
For the next thirty minutes, each of us slobbers over semi-dirty phrases that sound absolutely filthy. Cora tries for a solid two minutes to say something no one can translate. While this happens, I pull out my phone and record a video of the whole show. I will definitely be watching that over and over. After we have all laughed our asses off, we opt to take a game break and dish out cake.
Cora and Shelly make a show out of adding twenty-nine candles to the cake and lighting them. The lights go out and everyone sings happy birthday to me as Cora holds the cake between us. The entire time everyone sings, I stare at her. Watch the mini-candle flames flicker on her skin. Take in her smile, remembering how long it has been since I saw her smile like this. Genuine and wide and happily. When the song finishes, I silently wish to spend every day of the rest of my life with Cora, then blow out all twenty-nine candles in one breath.
Cora smiles, then takes the cake in the kitchen. She hands me a big enough piece of cake for two and I take it back to the table while she finishes cutting it.
With a forkful of chocolate cake in my mouth, Shelly shoves the stack of gifts toward me. “Happy Birthday, Gavin.”
I thank her after I swallow. “You didn’t have to buy me anything.” After I shove another bite in my mouth, I unwrap the small box. As soon as I see the package, I spit cake out of my mouth. “What the hell, Shelly?” Thank fuck Cora is still in the kitchen messing with cake. Not sure if she would be embarrassed or giggly or shocked.
I stare down at the one-hundred-count box of condoms and shake my head. When I peek up at Shelly, she shrugs in the same manner Micah does. “Not like you won’t use them. Especially if you guys are back together. Plus, they were on sale at Costco.”
As discreetly as possible, I wrap the paper around the box again and push it aside. The other two gifts are simple and normal. A gift card and a card with cash. Somehow, I will use the cash and card to buy them all something in return. I don’t need gifts as long as I have Cora. She is the greatest gift of all.
For the next two hours, we play cards and shoot the shit with each other. Tonight is the most enjoyable evening and birthday I have had in a long time and I bask in the sentiment. My mom or parents always did nice things for me over the years, but it was never the same as when I was with Cora. Now that she is back in my life, I will never let anything break us apart again.
Erin yawns and it starts a ripple effect throughout the room. Within ten minutes, Erin, Shelly, and Micah pile into Shelly’s car, and Jonas hops on his motorcycle. In the blink of an eye, only me and Cora stand in her house. And the solitude is heaven.
I help her clean up a few things that need to be put away now. After, we sit on the couch and simply hold each other. Only with her is silence comforting. I close my eyes and enjoy the warmth radiating off her and soothing me. Reminisce in the affection and warmth we once shared as I dream about what the future holds.
“Do you want to watch a movie?” she whispers into the dim-lit living room.
“Only if you want to. I’m content like this.”
She turns into me more and presses her hand over my heart. I suck in a breath when her weight covers a portion of my new tattoo. Her eyes widen at my expression. “Are you okay? What’s the matter?”
I sit up a little and kiss her forehead. “Yeah, baby. I’m okay. Just got a new tattoo today.”
Cora perks up next to me. “You got a new tattoo? Can I see it?”
Eventually, I knew Cora would see my new tattoo. I just had no idea it would be tonight. Not that I fear her seeing it. Only curious how she will react.
I scoot forward a few inches and tug my shirt over my head, tossing it aside. The moment she sees it, all air leaves the room. “Gavin,” she gasps. “I… I don’t know what to say.”
As I sit back against the cushion, she shifts closer to me. Her fascination with the ink is cute. By the way she studies it, I know she wants to run her fingers over it. “It’ll heal over the next week,” I inform her.
Her eyes well as she peeks up at me. “You know that’s forever, right?”
“You are my forever, Cora. No other name will brand my skin. No other woman will have my heart. It has belonged to you since the first day of high school. The day I joined you under that tree and you drew me beside you on a sketch pad.”
Tears spill from her eyes. “You’re my forever, too. I tried to move on for so many years. Tried to care for another person. God, how I tried. But it never happened. Even when I tried to force it. Because I could never imagine life with someone other than you. So, I tucked you away for safekeeping in the hopes you would return.”
I pinch the ends of her hair and play with it between my fingers. Fuck, I want to kiss her. But I promised I wouldn’t kiss her until she initiated the kiss. And fuck if that isn’t the most difficult vow to keep right now. Because everything about this day, this moment, cries out for me to lean forward and press my lips to hers.
She brings a hand to my other pec and skims over the flesh. Electricity shoots through every atom, cell, and molecule in my body. I swear to god, if she doesn’t kiss me soon, I will break my promise. Because as patient as I am, this is pure torture.
Just as I am ready to cave on my desires, she leans forward and presses her lips to my left pec, an inch above the tattoo. “I love you,” she says, breath hot on my skin.
And a switch flips inside me. Fire heats my blood, scorches my skin, has me panting for breath. I become a starved man and Cora is what my body needs to survive.
Twenty
Cora
The moment I kiss Gavin’s chest, a ticking time bomb detonates beneath my lips. As if my lips on his skin is the invitation he has been waiting for. The key to solve a riddle.
Before I grasp what is happening, Gavin scoops me up in his arms and walks toward my bedroom. A moment later, he tosses me on the bed and crawls over me. His lips brand my navel as he shoves my shirt up my torso and over my head. Every press of his lips is kindling added to a raging inferno inside me. An inferno that has always been there, but faded with his absence.
He peppers kisses across my collar bone and up my neck, nipping and sucking. His forearms press into the mattress on either side of me and cage me in. I knead the sides of his ribcage and around his backside, digging my nails into his bare flesh.
“Oh god, Gavin,” I gasp, tipping my head back.
His lips graze my jawline and finally land on my mouth. Liquid heat swipes across my lower lip and begs me to open up for him. The second his tongue brushes against mine, I lose all coherent thought. Gavin is everywhere. The saltiness of his lips on my skin mingles with my taste buds. His fevered skin heats up every inch of my skin. The piney-beach scent only Gavin has seeps into my senses. Fuck, it’s
too much.
He hovers above me a second. “I want you, baby. To be inside you.”
“God, yes.”
As soon as I grant him permission, Gavin’s hands travel to my waist and unfasten my jeans. He jostles them down my hips and yanks them to my ankles before depositing them on the floor. The pads of his fingers graze the tips of my toes and slowly descend over the tops of my feet. “Do you know how long I’ve waited for this?” Heat dances over my ankles and ascends my shin. “How long I’ve waited to see you?” Tingles play over my knee and tease the distal end of my thigh. “To touch you.” Sparks ignite in my quads and I squirm beneath him. “To love you.”
His hands reach my hips and I am ready to explode from anticipation. But he remains idle, his fingers toying with the bands of my panties. I pant and wriggle beneath him. “So, what are you waiting for now?” I tease, egging him on.
A smirk tugs at the side of his mouth. “Baby, I’m just reveling in the moment. I won’t take you or us or our lives for granted. Never again.”
“Gavin…” I whisper into the darkness.
He lowers himself and presses a sweet, earnest kiss to my lips. Packed with intensity and longing and hope. “I love you, Cora. I have loved you for as long as I can remember. And I will love you for the rest of my days.” We kiss as if the past thirteen years never happened, as if time was never stolen from us, and the world rights itself again. Stars burn brighter. Planets align. And everything goes back in its rightful place.
As our lungs gasp for air, Gavin breaks the kiss and his lips trace my ear and down my neck. He massages the sides of my torso as he lavishes kisses down my sternum, between my breasts, and stops at my navel. Fingers skirt around my backside and unhook my bra. Heated breaths paint my navel for three unshakable beats before his hands glide out and slip the black barrier from my breasts.
Time Exposure (Click Duet #2) (Bay Area Duet Series) Page 14