by Amanda Perry
Jaxon told me everyone has fight and flight instincts. He said I had to learn my fight instinct, but maybe mine is broken or missing. Is it possible to be born without it?
There have been a few times in my life I’ve wanted to lash out. When I think back on it, the thoughts scared me. Like that receptionist who was hitting on Caleb when we met with the council. I wanted to smack her. But I didn’t, and I feel better knowing I never acted on it. Maybe it was because she was threatening my relationship with Caleb. Unless he wants to leave me, it will hurt him to be taken from me. I wanted to protect him. But when I’m threatened, I freeze. Why would I be okay with someone hurting me but not Caleb?
I groan in frustration. I’m certain I’m wasting everyone’s time. I’m not capable of fighting. I would rather get hurt than to risk turning into Samael. I won’t do it; I won’t be like him.
“Well…” Caleb’s voice near my ear brings me out of my internal pity party. “That was…something.”
“Is training over for the day?” I ask, embarrassed I got so upset.
“Yes.” Caleb sighs. “Thank the gods. No more crazy ideas from Cassie today.”
“I understand why she tried it.” I shrug. “Nothing else has worked.”
Caleb frowns. “I’m not going to lie. I’m worried. I hoped you’d pick up on the self-defense by now, but nothing we do helps. I can’t stand the thought of you getting hurt. I feel like we need to try something else, I just don’t know what will work.”
“You’re not going to try what Jaxon tried, are you?” I shudder, thinking of the way my brother tried to scare me into defending myself.
Caleb shakes his head vigorously. “Not a chance. I wouldn’t do that to you again. We may need to push you a little more but never like that. Even the idea of stepping up the training and pushing a little bit more doesn’t appeal to me. I would rather keep you beside me forever and protect you all the time.”
“That would be nice but not exactly practical.” I snuggle up to his side and sigh deeply. “I’m sure something will work, we just have to figure out what it is.” Even as I say the words, I don’t truly believe them. I’m not sure anything will ever push me past the wall I run into when asked to defend myself.
Chapter 17
I wake the following morning in a gloomy mood. Today should be Jaxon’s day to train me, but he took over for Cassie yesterday. He’ll likely be happy to gain another day of doing things his way. It makes no difference to me who tries; it always ends with me disappointing everyone.
I sit quietly while we eat breakfast, pushing my eggs around my plate and sulking. I hate the idea of letting everyone down again today, yet I can’t bring myself to do what they want me to do.
“Earth to Riley!” Cassie snaps her fingers in front of my face.
The action jolts me out of my sullen thoughts, and I jerk back.
Cassie smirks. “If you think too hard, you’ll get a headache.”
“Funny,” I mutter dryly.
“I know I am.” She grins. “So, are you up for it?”
I blink at her, waiting for an elaboration that never comes. “Up for?”
“I said we should go shopping. Jaxon stole you from me yesterday,” She pouts. “So, I’m returning the favor today. We’re going to have a girls’ day eventually, so why not now?”
“I think we should come with.” Caleb frowns. “Right, Jax?”
“Yeah.” Jaxon nods half-heartedly. “I think I need new shoes or some shit.”
“As convincing as that excuse sounds”—Cassie rolls her eyes— “you two idiots are not invited. It’s girls only.” She pauses, and her eyes light with mischief. “Unless you’re willing to wear heels and mascara and carry purses?”
Caleb appears to actually consider her silly idea while Jaxon simply glares and turns to our dad. “Dad, tell her we can come, too. What if something goes bad?” His whiny tone is comical and clearly not helping his case.
“Not a chance, son.” Dad laughs, shaking his head. “Leanne said they need girl time, so they get girl time. Also, you do remember you’re an adult, right?”
Jaxon ignores Dad’s dig and pouts at Leanne as she nods her agreement. “You guys will be okay without them for a few hours. I’m going to spend the day running errands, so you’ll have the whole house to yourselves to do boy stuff. Besides, Mark and I talked, and we can’t live in fear of what might happen in the future. No firm date was given to us, and it could very well be years from now when Samael makes a move. For now, we need to be diligent and aware, but we can’t allow him to keep us from living our lives, either.”
Dad chuckles as Jaxon deepens his pout. “I’m heading to work. You girls have fun. You boys stay out of trouble.”
“When are we ever in trouble?” Caleb gasps, feigning offense.
Dad’s reply is a snorted laugh as he gives Leanne a kiss and hugs Cassie and me before leaving for work.
“Come on, let’s clean up our mess so we can get ready.” Cassie grabs her plate and heads to the kitchen.
Caleb sighs heavily and rolls his eyes at his sister. He knows he and Jaxon have lost to Cassie, and he clearly isn’t happy about it. I, on the other hand, could use some time away from training and the stress of the upcoming battle with Samael that may or may not happen soon. If I don’t de-stress somehow, I might explode.
After cleaning our breakfast mess, I give Caleb a quick hug and follow Cassie upstairs. She pilfers through my closet for a good twenty minutes before finally throwing an oversized ivory sweater and black leggings at me. The temperatures outside have dropped in the last few weeks, making long sleeves and jackets necessary. Halloween is just around the corner and Cassie’s been begging me to dress up with her. Some of her old friends have a party planned, but I’m skeptical it’s a good idea.
While I throw my long hair into a ponytail, Cassie gets herself ready. We make our way back downstairs half an hour later where Caleb and Jaxon continue to pout as we say our goodbyes.
“Sweetheart, I’ll go see that stupid chick-flick with you if you stay home,” Jaxon coaxes Cassie, but she’s having none of it.
She snorts and shakes her head. “You’re going with me to see that movie whether you want to or not, Jax. You made me go see that superhero movie, which lasted forever, so now you can endure a movie with me that’s actually decent. Nice try, though.”
Caleb watches me with pitiful puppy-dog eyes, and I almost give in. It probably won’t kill me to be away from him for a few hours, though. It’ll be good to get out of the house and have some fun. Caleb likely needs time away from me, anyway. Maybe it’s why he’s been different lately.
I hug Caleb tightly and kiss his cheek. “We’ll be back soon.”
He harrumphs but doesn’t protest further. He knows he won’t win against Cassie and Leanne.
The drive to the mall goes quickly—mainly because Cassie drives like she’s trying out for NASCAR. She parks near the food court, and we pass through there on our way to the first store.
We scan the racks of clothes for a while. When I find something I like, I hold it up for Cassie to see, and she does the same for me. She ends up with a much larger pile to try on than me. It’s still not easy for me to spend money on anything not considered a necessity.
“I could use a smoothie,” Cassie announces as we wrap up our search of the first store. “Mind if we make a stop at the smoothie place before we go to that costume store next door?”
I shrug. “I don’t mind.”
Cassie mulls over the plan, then shakes her head. “Actually, why don’t we go to the food court and get one there instead? That place has better options.”
Again, I agree. “Are you going to try those on first?” I point to the oversized clothing pile draped across her arm.
“Yeah, I’ll be quick.” She gestures to my significantly smaller pile. “You try those on, and don’t turn them down just because of the prices.”
It goes against everything I know, but Cassie manages t
o convince me to purchase three pairs of jeans from my pile. She tried to get me to buy more, but I couldn’t bring myself to pay three digits for a handful of clothes.
With my one bag and Cassie’s three, we leave the store and venture back the way we came, toward the food court.
Cassie points out the smoothie place she mentioned. “At least, the line’s relatively short.”
She’s right, too. The rest of the restaurants have full lines, while our line is only five or six people long. While we wait in line for our drinks, I gaze around the full food court. “The mall seems busy for a weekday.”
“Not for this mall,” Cassie disagrees. “This is the best mall for miles. Everyone comes here to shop. Plus, it’s only a few days until Halloween and months until Christmas. People are already starting their shopping.”
The mention of Christmas has my mind wandering to gift ideas for everyone. I never received gifts for holidays before, and I never had any money or anyone to buy gifts for. It’ll be different this year because I know my family will celebrate like other families. It’ll be hard to decide what to give everyone, though. They already have everything they want. My birthday is just before Christmas, also, and I can’t help but wonder if I’ll be wished a happy birthday for the first time.
After we get our drinks, we find a table nearby and watch the people milling about. It’s fun to people-watch with Cassie. She loves to make up stories for people’s lives. One woman in pajamas walks by. Cassie dives into a whole tale about how the woman is an adventurous sleepwalker and walked all the way here. While the woman was out, she woke up and decided to get some shopping done. I giggle at the theatrics Cassie displays while telling her tales.
Cassie’s grin drops quickly when she glances behind me. Her eyes narrow, and her spine straightens. Her sudden change in demeanor puts me on edge, but before I can turn around to seek out the cause, a pair of hands land on the table on either side of me, caging me in. While I try not to panic, someone else rounds the table and leans against it, close to Cassie.
“Hey, sugar.” The guy who trapped me backs away and moves to the side, allowing me to see him. Neither he nor the one who stands closest to Cassie, look nice. They’re grungy with glazed over eyes and stink of alcohol.
I shoot Cassie a panicked glance, but she’s too busy glaring at the men to notice.
The one next to her leans in closer. “Want to have some fun?”
Cassie’s eyes narrow further, and her anger scares even me. She opens her mouth, no doubt to say something unsuitable for children’s ears, but she doesn’t get the chance.
Caleb storms up to our table with Jaxon in tow. “Stay the fuck away from them.”
I watch with wide eyes as he stops toe-to-toe with the taller guy next to me.
The guy sneers at Caleb, “Who the hell are you?”
“None of your Goddamn business.” Jaxon takes a step closer to the shorter one next to Cassie. “Just like these girls are none of your business. They’re not interested, now fuck off.”
“You gonna make us?” the taller guy taunts.
I sense a physical fight coming on. The idea of Caleb or Jaxon getting hurt or even hurting someone else makes my chest tighten painfully, and I whimper aloud before I can stop myself. The sound barely reaches my own ears, but Caleb manages to hear it. His eyes instantly dart to me. He gives me a once over, and as soon as my fear registers with him, he relaxes his stance slightly. He puts a hand on Jaxon’s shoulder just as Jaxon takes a step toward the two guys. Jaxon glances back at Caleb, then to me when Caleb gestures toward me.
Jaxon sighs in resignation. “Come on girls,” he growls. His eyes never leave the two men in front of us.
Not one to go against direct orders from pissed off people, I jump to my feet and scoot behind Caleb before Cassie can even push her chair out. Cassie’s whole body vibrates, but instead of from fear, it’s from anger. Her face turns a deep shade of red as she pushes up from her seat too hard, sending the chair crashing to the floor. By the glint in her eyes as she shoots the two guys one last dirty look, I know Cassie wants a chance to finish this battle on her own. Instead, she links her arm through mine, bypassing Jaxon completely and pulling me away from Caleb. Her pace quickens, and I find myself running to catch up with her.
Without another word to the jerks who ruined our lunch, Jaxon and Caleb turn on their heels and follow us to the parking lot.
The second we step outside, Cassie unhooks her arm from mine and swings around to face off with Jaxon. “Seriously? One girls’ day! You couldn’t give us one day?”
“Sweetheart.” Jaxon rubs his forehead. “There’s too much going on with Samael to risk you two going out alone. Obviously, it was good we were here. Look what happened.”
“It is a crowded mall, Jaxon. We were handling those dicks just fine.” Cassie raises an eyebrow, arms crossed over her chest. “I’m telling your mother about this.”
“Wait a second.” Jaxon holds his hands up in surrender and takes a step away as if worried Cassie may physically attack him. “We don’t need to do anything rash. We can talk about this.”
“Forget it, we’ll see you guys at home.” Cassie swirls around, smacking Jaxon in the face with her dark hair. She takes my hand and drags me away without any thought of Caleb. As I’m pulled away, I turn to look over my shoulder and find a frustrated Caleb hanging his head and an ashen Jaxon watching us with mounds of regret. Cassie’s threat to tell Leanne has him scared. What might happen when she finds out Jaxon and Caleb didn’t listen?
When we round the building toward the parking lot where Cassie parked, I notice Jaxon’s car is parked a few spots down from hers.
“That must be how they found us so fast,” I muse aloud, gaining Cassie’s attention.
She follows my line of sight and stops suddenly. She drops my hand, and a firm look of concentration crosses her face. At first, I don’t understand what she’s doing, but when the sprinkler in the grassy area to the right of Jaxon’s car sputters, I know she’s summoning water.
A frantic glance around the area shows no signs of people, but it doesn’t ease my worry. I have no idea what Cassie has planned, and anyone could walk up and catch her. For the time being, we’re alone, so I turn my attention back to Jaxon’s car where Cassie’s focus is and find it filling with water from the sprinkler that continues to flow faster than it should.
My mouth drops open, and I stare at the car in awe. Jaxon loves his car. It’s his most prized possession. Cassie’s stunt may send him over the edge. Idly, I wonder if Caleb would be able to dry it out by channeling fire and heating the seats, almost like a blow dryer. If I had better control of my affinities, I’d be trying to stop Cassie and fix the damage, but instead, I stand shocked.
Before I recover and attempt to stop Cassie from completely destroying Jaxon’s car, a tiny cry for help reaches me. For a moment, I worry it’s a child in trouble, but it dawns on me quickly that the language spoken isn’t one I’ve ever heard before. It doesn’t make sense for me to understand this voice calling for help, but somehow, I know.
My feet move before I consciously decide to follow the sound. Cassie calls out for me, but I don’t acknowledge her. If someone needs help, I need to find them. As I get closer to the sound, I find a line of prickly bushes dividing the rows in the parking lot. The cries come from inside the bushes, and I realize whoever is in trouble is stuck in the prickly patch. I do my best to avoid the sharp spikes as I rummage around in the brush, attempting to locate them. My hand brushes against something unexpectedly soft, and I jerk back in surprise.
“Riley!” Cassie yells when I continue to ignore her. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Can’t you hear that?” I move branches aside again.
“No.” When I glance back at Cassie, I find her head tilted and her expression curious. “Are you sure you heard something?”
She probably wonders if I’ve lost my mind, but I know what I heard. It’s odd she can’t hear the cri
es as well, but I turn from her and find my way through the brush again to the soft spot I’d touched before. There, twisted among the branches, is a tiny black kitten with bright blue eyes. It takes me a full minute to realize it wasn’t a person calling out at all, but instead, I heard this kitten in need. The undetectable language makes perfect sense when I know it’s an animal I heard. I haven’t been around any since Sacramento, so I’d nearly forgotten about my ability to communicate with them.
“Awe,” Cassie coos, looking over my shoulder into the bush. “She’s so cute.”
The kitten hisses at Cassie, then mewls again. Her tiny hiss sounds out of place, and I grin despite her obvious upset over her predicament. “I can’t believe it.”
“Can’t believe what? Do you hear her?” Cassie grins. “What’s she saying?”
The kitten growls low and tries in vain to wiggle free. Without any true words spoken, I understand what the little fuzzball wants and where her frustration comes from. “She’s stuck, and she’s worried we might be a threat rather than here to help.”
“Poor little thing.” Cassie frowns, watching on as I gently untangle the kitten from the overgrown prickly bushes. “Is she hurt?”
“No, she’s not in pain, and I don’t see any blood.” I pull the kitten the rest of the way out and examine her tiny body. “She’s really small, though, and she’s not happy with us. She’s convinced people are bad. I think someone dumped her here recently. She doesn’t trust us and she wants her mama.”
“Some people are such assholes,” Cassie huffs.
Satisfied the kitten isn’t injured, I snuggle her to my chest. She struggles briefly, and I whisper reassuring words to her, “We won’t hurt you, kitty. We want to help you.”
Immediately, the small ball of fuzz stops wiggling against me and buries her face into my arm. She purrs contentedly and I grin. “She’s adorable.”