“I thought I heard you leave,” she says quietly. “Thought you were sneaking out on me.”
Guilty as charged. “Nah, I thought we needed more food.”
“You feed me a lot.”
I set the bag on the table and pass her a coffee, which she sniffs. She closes her eyes in happiness and issues a moan, making my dick twitch. Her hair is a mess, hanging around her face in loose, tangled curls. Her eyes are heavy with sleep, and her clothes from yesterday are wrinkled.
She’s never been more beautiful.
“Complaining?” I ask with a laugh as I sit next to her on the couch.
“Of course, not,” she says with a smile and reaches for her breakfast burrito, taking a big bite. Nancy, who has caught a whiff of the food, stretches and comes to beg at Joy’s side. “These are so good.”
“Mm,” I agree, chewing. We fall into silence, eating and drinking coffee. What used to be a comfortable silence has turned into awkwardness. I can hear a clock ticking in one of the rooms. A car drives past.
And with every passing minute, I want to pull her to me and kiss the hell out of her. I want to peel off her clothes and tuck her under my body as I make love to her all fucking day.
But this is Joy.
“Fuck,” she says, setting down her food and hanging her head in her hands. She pushes on her eye sockets, then scrubs her palms over her face. “We’ve made it weird. Why is it so fucking awkward?”
“I don’t know.” I stand, relieved that I’m not the only one who feels this way. I grab her hand and pull her into my arms, rocking us both back and forth. “And I’m sorry for it.”
“I need you in my life, Jace.”
“Hey, I’m not going anywhere.”
Hell, no, I’m not going anywhere.
“But we’ll start to avoid each other because who wants to sit in awkward silence?”
“It’s one breakfast,” I remind her. “You might be overthinking this just a tad.”
“No,” she says, pulling back so she can look up into my face. “You know what I’m talking about. It’s been happening for weeks. I know you, inside and out, and things are changing.”
“We’re going to figure this out.” I pull her to me again. Her body fits perfectly against mine. “We’ll figure it out together. We’re smart people. We’ve got this. The most important thing is, we’re not ever going to lose each other, no matter what.”
“Tell me you feel it,” she whispers, her arms tightening around me.
“I’ve felt it for a long time,” I admit softly, and we fall back into silence, just holding onto each other in the stillness. I don’t know what else to say.
“I have to go to work,” she finally murmurs into my chest. “I don’t want to.”
“I’m meeting with Levi at my place in a little while. He’s going to help me with some of the projects I’m going to start around the house.”
“That’s nice of him.”
Neither of us pulls away. I love the way she feels in my arms. Small yet strong. Feminine.
Sexy as fuck.
“I want to see you tonight,” I say, and she sighs in my arms, then pulls away and pushes her hair out of her face.
“Jace, maybe we need some time apart. To think things through and figure out—”
“No way. I know I don’t need any time away from you,” I interrupt immediately. “Fuck that, Joy. I’m not running from this. I told you we’re going to figure it out together, and that’s what we’re going to do. Not seeing you isn’t the way to accomplish that.”
She chews her plump lip and watches me with wide eyes, concern etched all over her beautiful face.
“I should be home around seven,” she says at last, and relief rushes through me.
“I’ll be here.”
“That’s sixteen feet,” Levi says a few hours later as he holds the tape measure. “This is going to be a lot of painting.”
“I have a lot of time,” I mutter, writing down the measurements. “Might as well paint this ugly bathroom. I think I’ll get a new vanity, as well. And maybe new tile.”
“Hire a contractor,” Levi suggests. “Because tile is a bitch. You can afford it.”
“Yeah, I’ll hire someone for the tile. Wyatt will know someone.”
Our baby brother’s an architect and is hands-on when his homes are built. He has people for this sort of thing.
“Why isn’t he here helping?” Levi asks. Levi is the eldest of us three brothers. He’s a Seattle detective, and I couldn’t be prouder of him.
“Because he and Lia are wedding planning. Again.” I shrug. “He’ll come help another day. We have to go pick up the tuxes on Wednesday afternoon.”
“I know,” he says. “This wall is nine feet.”
“This is a big bathroom, considering no one ever uses it,” I comment, looking around.
“This is a big house for one person,” Levi agrees.
“It’s an investment. And I love the view from the west side.”
“Killer view,” Levi says as he follows me out to the living room. He’s casual today, in jeans and a T-shirt. His hair is cut short, and he’s greying at the temples.
I’m quite sure his job is the source of the grey.
“What’s your schedule over the next week?” I ask. “I could use some help around here. I’ll pay in beer and titillating conversation.”
“I have Sunday and Monday free this week,” he says, then narrows his eyes on me. “You look tired.”
“I’m fine.”
He crosses his arms over his chest. “Not buying it.”
“My job’s in jeopardy,” I remind him. “Not just my job, my fucking life. So, yeah, I’ve had some sleepless nights.”
He purses his lips. “Nope, that’s not it.”
I drop my notebook on the couch and pace to the windows that look out past the city to the water then cross my arms over my chest.
“It’s not supposed to be this way,” I say at last. “She’s been my best friend since I was nineteen. Through medical school, and internships. Through the death of her mom, and starting our careers and all of the shit we go through in life. It’s Joy for Christ’s sake.”
I turn to Levi. He’s sitting on the couch, one ankle crossed over the opposite leg, and he’s watching me without judgment.
That’s the best thing about Levi, he listens without judging.
“Over the past few years, we only see each other when one of us needs a date for an event. She’s always my plus one.”
“I know.”
“But the last couple of months?” I shake my head and turn back to the view. “It’s different. I see her more often, and we connect even deeper than we did before.”
“You’ve been in love with her for years.”
I whirl at his words and stare at him, dumbstruck.
“You’re not stupid, Jace. No other woman has stuck around because you always run them off. They’re not Joy.”
“Or, I just didn’t want a relationship.”
“Remember Allison Thorton?”
I cringe. “She couldn’t cook worth shit. Her lasagna was awful. Joy puts . . .” My words trail off when Levi gives me a knowing look. “Point made.”
“You’ve compared every woman to Joy whether you meant to or not,” he says, and I laugh humorlessly. Because he’s right. And no woman ever compared to Joy.
I think back over the past fifteen years and sigh. I’ve been in love with her since the minute she sat next to me in physics and introduced herself with the brightest smile I’d ever seen. Her brown hair was a mess. Her skin was perfect and smooth, and her eyes seemed to see right through me.
I was shy and dorky, and she didn’t care.
“I don’t want to lose the friendship.”
“Who says you have to?”
“When I fuck this up, she won’t want to be my friend anymore.”
“So, don’t fuck it up,” he says as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. I turn to him ag
ain, and he grins. “If it’s that important, you work for it. You don’t fuck it up.”
“I think it might be the most important thing in my life, and a week ago, I would have told you that position belonged to surgery.”
“Surgery doesn’t love you back,” my brother says soberly. “And it never will.”
I nod, shove my hands into my pockets, and swallow hard.
“You need to go for it,” he continues. “Joy’s awesome. We all adore her. There’s no one better for you than her.”
“I know.” I take a deep breath. “I know it. I was already leaning that way because I’m having a very hard time keeping my hands to myself.”
“Is she saying no?”
I think back on last night, the two of us on Joy’s couch, me holding her close as we whispered in the dark, and I smile.
“No. She’s not saying no.”
“Well, there you go,” Levi says with a nod. “Now, let’s go shoot some hoops so I can kick your ass.”
“You can try.”
I need to talk to her. I’ve thought about it all day, and that’s what it boils down to. I need to sit down with her and put everything out on the table, explain how I feel, and ask her to tell me what’s going on in that gorgeous head of hers.
We’ve always been good at talking. Communication isn’t a challenge for us.
So, I’m on my way to her place. She should be home by now. We’ll have dinner and talk through everything like mature adults.
I’ve missed her today. I spent the rest of the day with Levi, shooting hoops and buying paint, but my mind kept drifting back to the sweet woman with the bright smile and soft, honey-brown hair.
Jesus, I have it bad.
Anxious to see her, I jog up her steps and walk inside without knocking. We know the codes to each other’s doors, and we never knock.
It’s always been that way.
I intend to greet her normally and wait to touch her until we’ve laid our feelings out there, but when I walk inside, Joy is at her kitchen island, one hip leaning on the countertop as she thumbs through the mail.
Her hair is still in a knot on the top of her head. She’s biting her lower lip. And her eyes brighten with happiness when she glances up to see me come through the door.
“Hey, you,” she says, but I don’t reply.
Fuck talking it out first. Every thought of communication flies right out of my head. The most important thing in this moment is getting my hands on her.
I stomp through the house, around the island, and with one hand on her hip and the other on her cheek, I lower my lips to hers.
She gasps in surprise, her eyes wide.
But she doesn’t pull away, and I sink into her, our lips softening against each other. She sighs and buries her fingers in the hair at the back of my neck.
Jesus, she’s sweet.
I boost her up onto the countertop and reach up to pull her hair down. I want the soft strands in my hands as I kiss the hell out of her.
She sighs as her hands drift from my shoulders, down my back, to cup my ass over my jeans.
Her legs are spread wide, and I’m pressed between them, my hard cock snug against her hot core. I want to strip her bare and sink into her. I want to make her cry out my name.
I want to make her forget her name.
If I’d known years ago that it would feel like this with Joy, I would have made my move sooner.
My hands move back to her face, and I end the kiss, resting my forehead against hers as we both catch our breath.
“I came over to talk,” I say when I can find my voice.
“That was a good conversation,” she says and swallows hard, making me chuckle. “We should have more of those. They’re important.”
“I love your sassy mouth,” I reply before covering said mouth with mine again and just drinking her in. I want her. Now. Here.
But we’re not ready for that. And we really do need to talk.
“How was your day?” I ask when I pull away and smooth stray strands of hair off her face.
“I don’t remember,” she replies with a smile. “Kidding. It was fine. I delivered four puppies via C-section, and I only got peed on twice.”
“Sexy,” I say with a wink.
“It’s good that I have a shower at work, along with several changes of clothes.” She drags her fingers down my cheek. “How is Levi?”
“A pain in my ass.”
“So, normal then.”
I laugh and kiss her hand. “Yeah, he’s good. I bought paint and kicked his ass playing some basketball.”
“Are we painting your house?” she asks, blinking rapidly.
“Well, Levi and I are, yes. You’re welcome to come help.”
“Can I come supervise?”
“No, I’m the boss.”
She smirks and jumps off the counter. “Right. Well, we’ll see how long that lasts. I’m a very good painter, you know.”
“No.” I lean on the counter, watching her with my arms crossed and a grin on my face. “How did I not know that?”
“You think you know everything about me, Jace Crawford, but you don’t. I still have some secrets.”
And I look forward to discovering every single one of them.
“What’s for dinner?” I ask.
“I was going to whip up breakfast,” she says. “Omelet?”
“Perfect.”
“I’m putting spinach in yours,” she warns me. “You need more greens.”
“Just when I was starting to like you, you make me eat spinach?”
“You like me,” she says, her back to me as she looks for her omelet pan.
But she’s completely wrong.
I’m head over heels in love with her.
~Joy~
“That dog just follows Dad all over the place,” Noel says on Sunday afternoon. We’re at Dad’s, making dinner while he’s outside with Nancy, working on the yard. “You should give her to him.”
I stop peeling potatoes to turn and stare at my sister. “Uh, hello? She’s mine.”
“Okay, maybe you could share custody. Dad’s been lonely, and Nancy clearly likes him.”
I glance outside and grin at my one-eyed bulldog, who is currently sunbathing in the grass while Dad mows the lawn around her.
“Okay, that’s pretty cute,” I concede. “Maybe Dad would like to have Nancy around more. I could leave her here during the day when I’m working.”
Our father isn’t retired, but he works mainly from home, so maybe having Nancy here to keep him company isn’t such a bad idea.
“Something to think about,” Noel agrees, reaching for the hand-mixer. She’s whipping up a batch of cornbread.
“Remember when you broke this?” she asks, pointing at the chip in the plastic of the mixer. “You were so mad, and you threw this on the floor.”
“Yeah, I was mad at you because you raided my closet again and ruined my favorite jeans.”
“Mom didn’t even bat an eye,” she murmurs softly. “She just told us to clean up our mess and that I’d be buying you new jeans.”
“Which you never did.” I turn to her. “Maybe you should go to that anniversary sale and make good on that.”
She sticks out her tongue at me, making me laugh.
“These hand towels are threadbare,” I say, trying to dry my hands. “Why doesn’t Dad throw them away and get new ones?”
“You know why,” Noel says softly. “Because they were Mom’s.”
She’s right. Everything in the house is exactly the way it was the day Mom died. It’s as if she’s just run out to the grocery store and will walk back through the door at any minute.
“I understood it for the first year,” I comment with a sigh. “I mean, we all miss her. But it’s been two years now, and he hasn’t made any changes at all.”
“It’s comforting for him,” she says.
“It’s not healthy,” I reply and walk to the window to look out at Dad and Nancy, then frown at
the third figure squatting in the garden. “Is that Jace out there?”
Noel joins me and nods. “Looks like it. Speaking of Dr. Handsome, you need to spill it.”
“Spill what?”
Noel cocks a brow. “You’re a smart woman, Joy. You know what.”
I blow a raspberry through my lips and lean on the counter, still staring outside as Jace stands and pushes the wheelbarrow full of weeds to the alley to toss the debris onto the compost pile.
“Things are changing,” I say, watching his muscles flex under the weight. “Not in a bad way.”
“I noticed you’ve been spending more time together,” Noel says.
“We have, and honestly, it’s been a lot of fun. I don’t think I realized over the past few years that I missed him.”
“Well, you’ve both been busy,” she offers and pours her batter into a pan, then slips it into the oven. “But I feel like I need to point out that you never looked at him like this before.”
“Like what?”
“Like he’s a hot fudge sundae, and you want to lap up every drop.”
I bust up laughing but don’t deny it.
Because holy shit can the man kiss. I had no idea.
He might have ruined me for all other men.
But before I can say anything, both men and the dog come through the back door.
“What’s so funny?” Jace asks as he walks straight to me and wraps me up in a hug. I haven’t seen him since yesterday morning. I got called into work and spent all day there yesterday, and by the time I got home, I fell into bed and slept like the dead.
“Nothing,” I lie. Jace narrows his eyes at me, but I change the subject. “What are you doing here?”
“Jace comes every weekend to help me out with the yard or things around the house,” Dad says as he pulls two bottles of water out of the fridge and tosses one to Jace.
“You do?” I ask in surprise. I had no idea.
He leans in and whispers in my ear, “You don’t know everything about me.”
He’s echoing my words from the other night, and it’s hot as hell.
“Sometimes, we just watch sports,” Jace adds, making my dad smile.
“I had no idea that you guys were such good buddies.”
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