by Dani Hart
“Oh, okay.” I pushed myself off the counter. Before I could walk him out or say anything else, he was gone. I heard the click of the lock being engaged on the front door and then silence. Again.
Wish Upon a Dandelion
WHAT IN THE world was I going to do? I didn't know anyone, including myself, and I didn't have any mode of transportation, and too much alone time with my thoughts would surely spell madness. I slumped back on the couch and stared at the fireplace. The mantel was barren and in desperate need of some family pictures. The whole house needed warmth. I chewed on my fingers as I scanned the room. I could pick flowers. Surely, he had a vase somewhere. That would bring a little life to the place.
I rummaged through the kitchen cabinets. It was only stocked with the essentials, but I found a glass pitcher that could serve as a vase. I took it out and placed it onto the island, a proud smile covering my face, because for the next few minutes, I had a purpose.
I slipped on the only shoes I owned—the ones I wore home from the hospital yesterday. They were brand new white and pink running shoes. I wondered if I was a runner. I lifted my arm and tugged at the skin hanging off my tricep. I was in serious need of muscle definition. Maybe I would start running. It would get me out of the house and would give me a chance to get to know the area around my new home. And a chance to see Brandt again, I thought, making my heart flutter.
After scoping out the garage and coming up empty for gardening tools, I settled on a pair of scissors that were in a kitchen drawer. I went out into the yard to another beautiful summer day. Grady had informed me that he lived in a coastal community off the beaten path on the outskirts of San Diego.
I headed out past the fire pit where the ground was a combination of dirt, rocks, and weeds with an occasional dandelion. I bent down to one, remembering that dandelions held the magic of wishes come true if you could blow off all the seeds in one breath. I could use all the wishes in the world to get my memories back, so I pulled it from the stem, stood up, and held the dandelion in front of me. A breeze threatened to take the seeds off before I could blow, but I couldn't formulate my wish. I wanted to wish for my life back and my memories, but I was also afraid of what I might remember. The ache in my chest flared as I stood and stared at the dandelion, contemplating what was worse.
"You're supposed to make a wish."
I turned, nearly jumping out of my skin and dropping the dandelion to the ground. The jostling loosened a few of the seeds, blowing them in Brandt’s direction. He caught one in his fist as he walked toward me.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you lose your wish." He opened his hand to reveal the seed in his palm.
I reached out and swept it up, feeling a tingle his presence elicited in my body. "It's
okay."
"You speak." He smiled genuinely.
"Yes."
It was limited with him, though, and almost as if he caused mini seizures in my throat that restricted words from coming out. I shifted, not entirely comfortable with the way he studied my face. His eyes were intense, filled with an emotion I didn't understand, but we were close enough now that I could make out their color. They weren't quite green or hazel, but rather a swirl of both. The color was intriguing, and the way my body came alive in his presence, I imagined I liked his staring just a little. The magnetism was building between us, and when he raised his hand, I braced for his touch, but instead, he rubbed the back of his neck nervously as he stepped away, giving us some distance. I released a breath, not even aware that I was holding it in.
"That was…odd," I blurted out.
"Sorry...I didn't mean…I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable." He looked at the ground. "That's the last thing I would want to do." He stumbled on his words.
He was nervous, too, and somewhat vulnerable. We had only just met, and I hadn't even spoken enough words to signify a coherent exchange, but I liked the idea of him and me.
"That probably wasn't the best choice of words. It wasn't a bad thing. It's just, I mean, I don't know you, and you definitely don't know me, and is this what they consider love at first sight?" I clamped my mouth shut. I could die right here and right now. Did I just say “love” to a complete stranger?
He started making this nervous little chuckle, that damned if it wasn't the most endearing sound I had ever heard, but I was mortified, nonetheless.
"I…uh…I didn't mean to say we were in love. I don't even know why I said that. I think I just need to be quiet now." I twisted a lock of hair around my finger, which grabbed his attention more than me saying we could possibly be in love.
A painful look consumed his eyes, a stiffness stole his carefree stance, and the curve of his smile vanished. It was the single most horrible thing I had seen and reminiscent to a similar reaction I witnessed in Grady. Why did I have that effect on them? It made me feel like crawling under the sheets and hiding away. Not to protect myself, but to protect those around me. I seemed to break them without even trying.
I stopped twirling my hair and tucked my hands into my pants pockets. I could tell he was torn between running for his life and saying something.
Please, just say something.
My stomach was knotting so tightly that I fought the urge to ball over.
He masked the expression consuming him. "Have you been down to the beach yet?"
"No!" I shouted awkwardly. Apparently, I wasn't as good at this quick, awkward-moment transition thing. And just like that, his laughter filled my heart and it was like the last minute had never happened. The knots loosened cautiously, ready to tighten again at a moment's notice.
His laugh further cut through the tension. "If you're not too busy making wishes, maybe I could take you?" His voice was back to turning my bones into molten cake.
"I like cake," I blurted out on accident. I covered my face with one of my hands, stunned by my behavior. That was it. I figured it out. I was crazy before I lost my memories. I had to be mentally insane. Why else would I act this way and tell a complete stranger it was love at first sight and declare out of nowhere I liked cake? My face was twenty-five shades of red, and my eyes were certainly about to pop out of their sockets.
"I like cake, too." He chuckled as he took my hand casually.
I liked that he took my hand as if he had done so a million times before, but I wasn't sure if all my crazy talk had him considering to throw me over the cliff as he led me closer to it.
I followed his eyes to our hands interlocked and then he suddenly dropped it. "Sorry about that.” He cleared his throat and then continued, “You have the perfect path over here." One side of his mouth curled up, revealing a dimple, as he played off the moment. "Yes, I trespass. You can call the cops later." He winked.
I didn't trust my words after the cake incident and I didn’t want to draw attention to the hand incident, so I just smiled back. As we reached the edge, I froze.
He walked back, stopping within inches of me. "Are you okay?"
The softness in his eyes gave me something to focus on other than falling to my death. "I'm scared of heights."
"Do you want to go back?"
I shook my head, keeping my eyes on him and not down the cliff side. "No, I can do this. You said there was a path?"
"Yeah, the trailhead is right here." He pointed just a few feet in front of us.
"Okay." I put on a brave smile.
This time when he took my hand in his, he didn’t let go. He checked back on me several times as we made our way down, but it only made me more nervous because I kept picturing him tripping and falling to his death. The climb down wasn't really that bad. The path was well walked, and the slope was not too steep, making the descent smooth. I tried to enjoy the majesty of the waves crashing against the rocks below, but it was hopeless. My heart was pounding harder than the water on the rocks, and my palms were a sweaty mess, making me very aware of the feat I was accomplishing.
Relief washed over me as we leaped off the last rock that served as a bri
dge from near death and solid ground. The path had led us to a thin strand of beach that went on for miles, or at least far enough to be out of sight.
"It's very secluded here," I said.
Brandt had released my hand after helping me down and now had his back to me as he looked out into the ocean. Then suddenly, he broke the silence. "There!" he shouted as he pointed to something bobbing in the water.
I squinted to get a better look. "Is that a seal?"
"Yes," he said proudly with his arms on his hips. His carefree innocence had replaced all the odd moments.
"I don't think I've ever seen one up close."
"Well then, you have to see this." He grabbed my hand with sheer determination as he dragged me around to a mound of rocks not too far away. They were covered in seals.
"Wow. That's awesome. Do they live here?"
"They beach here."
"So cool," I responded. After I soaked in the visual of the seals, I turned and walked back down the beach. Brandt followed beside me. I was as nervous as a teenage girl waiting for her first kiss. Not only because Brandt did things to my insides that were unfamiliar and tantalizing, but also because I couldn't remember my first kiss. Or any other kiss, for that matter. Surely I had a ton of them if I was twenty-three, which was still up for debate.
"Can I ask you something?" I asked bravely.
"Of course. I think that's the natural way of getting to know each other."
"Sometimes when you look at me…you seem almost sad…or maybe a little lost.”
"Oh…ummm…"
"I'm sorry. Don't…Don't answer that. It was rude. Or maybe not rude. It was something, and you really don't have to answer it." I was waving my hands erratically.
"No, it's okay. I just didn't realize you noticed." He paused and took a deep breath. "Just some of the things you do remind me of someone I used to know."
Great, I reminded him of someone who made him look like I just punched him in the gut after having left him for his brother.
"That sounded bad. I said it wrong. It's not a bad thing. She was amazing and beautiful and twisted her hair when she was nervous and said random things at random times." He was digging himself deeper. "It was cute. The random things she’d say. They were cute. And the twisty thing…I just hadn't seen anyone do it in a long time.” He stopped talking and scratched his head.
I couldn't help it. I started laughing uncontrollably. It was absolutely comical how Brandt and I interacted. With Grady, it was comfortable and easy, but with Brandt, it was, well, the opposite. Brandt made me nervous in the “I really like this boy” way.
"Are you laughing at me?"
I couldn't tell if he was feeling self-conscious, but honestly, it didn't matter, because I was laughing so hard now I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to.
Schoolgirl Crush
Brandt took me to a large rock mound where one end reached into the ocean and the other rested on the beach. We climbed up the mound and perched ourselves on the tip overlooking the ocean.
"I like how peaceful it is here," I said, more to myself than him.
"I moved here a little less than a year ago. I needed some quiet," he offered.
"Oh, yeah? Stressful job?"
"Not really. I own an online surf and skate company with my stepbrother. It was pretty stressful a few years ago when we launched, but it pretty much runs itself now."
"That's good. Congratulations. It must be awesome being your own boss." I was trying to keep the dialogue light because I knew the reason for his move here probably had something to do with the girl I reminded him of. "You don't seem to want to know very much about me."
He looked at me curiously, his brow arching gracefully, revealing the splendor of his features. "Now why would you say that?"
"Because you haven't asked me anything, not even my name."
He laughed. It was actually more like a seductive chuckle, and it made my body shiver with excitement as the octaves of his voice raised and lowered.
"I know your name, silly."
I instantly perked up. "You do?" I was excitedly hopeful that he had insight into my identity.
"Of course."
I couldn't help but smile from ear to ear.
"You're Freckles." He winked and nudged me playfully.
My smile lowered a bit in disappointment. I really thought he knew me. "Grady?" I asked.
"Don't sound so disappointed. I like that name."
I would agree if it were a term of endearment to substitute my actual name, but it wasn't. It was the only name I had. "It's cute," I agreed. "How do you know Grady?"
"He's my stepbrother."
His random pop-ins made complete sense now. Grady had told him about me, and he was babysitting. Here I thought it was because he liked seeing me. "Oh." I tried hard to mask the despondent undertones in my voice, but I just wasn't good at façades.
"Look, can I be honest?" he asked carefully.
"Please." I swallowed hard.
"I enjoy your company. Grady didn't ask me to look after you—which I'm sure that look a moment ago was all about—I wanted to."
My disappointment was lifting, and the little schoolgirl tickle under my rib cage returned. His smile was candid, but there was so much hurt hidden in the look he gave me that it had me spinning with conflicted vibes.
"Did he tell you about me?"
He peered at his shoes. "I'm sorry. It must be hard not knowing who you are."
"You know what the hardest part is? That it seems as if no one is looking for me." I choked back the words.
I hadn't allowed myself to admit it, but there it was. I was in that hospital bed for over a month, and not one person claimed to know me. Isn’t that one of the first places someone would look for a missing person?
"I'm sorry, but you're not alone, okay? You have Grady and me now. I know we aren't much, but we're something."
He rested his hand on my knee, sending shockwaves throughout my body. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on breathing as my body released a wave of shudders.
"I'm sorry." Brandt withdrew his hand quickly.
The waves crashed loudly against the rocks below our feet and the sea gulls squawked as they soared overhead.
"We should go back,” he said when I remained silent.
"Yeah," was all I could say because a mix of emotions had rolled through me when he touched me and I was having a hard time understanding them. I was elated, but sad.
He helped me off the rock, careful with how much he touched me now, and then led me back up the cliff.
"Thank you. I don't know why you guys are helping me, but you're right. I don't have anyone else right now, but I do have you guys."
"Do me a favor, though, Freckles. You are a little trusting with us, so maybe be more cautious."
"Are you saying I should padlock my doors and sleep with one eye open?" I teased.
"Yes."
"Well, the fact your brother is a regular volunteer at the hospital, and everyone seemed to know and love him, and they let him take me home spoke volumes to my psycho killer meter, if that makes you feel better."
He erupted into a heartfelt laugh that made me want to leap into his arms, wrap my legs around his waist, and plant a kiss on his mouth. I had so many feelings for Brandt and we had just met, which told me my feelings couldn’t be trusted. It wasn’t normal and the insta-love, like, or whatever, was making me super uncomfortable.
"That does give me some comfort. Thank you.” He smiled.
The silence drifted between us as he stood with his hands firmly in his jeans pockets, rocking on his feet, and I twisted my hair absentmindedly.
"Do you want to come in? I mean, it's practically your house." My invitation hung with a question mark of hesitation. I wasn't sure if I wanted to invite him inside, but I wasn't sure I didn't want to invite him either.
"Actually, I have to get going. Grady and I have a business dinner."
"Oh, okay then." I nervously brushed my foot
back and forth in front of me.
"Do you want to come?" His question raised a few octaves near the end.
"Really? That would be awesome. I've been feeling…"
"Island fever?" he finished.
"Yeah, kind of. Only we aren't on an island." I laughed.
"But, we do have an ocean."
"Yes, that we do." He rubbed the back of his neck again.
The conversation was getting awkward again as we tried to make small talk.
"Do I have a few minutes to change?" I wasn’t exactly dressed for a dinner out.
"Yeah, I'm just going to run home and get the car. I'll be back in fifteen."
"Sounds great. I'll be ready." I was fighting to hide the giddiness in my voice.
"See you in a few," he said as he jogged out of sight.
I rushed inside and rifled through the clothes that Grady had bought for me on the way home from the hospital. My wardrobe consisted of a couple of shirts, a casual dress, and two pairs of jeans. I sighed deeply. I really needed to get a job soon.
I couldn't decide between jeans and a shirt, or the sundress. I wanted to look nice, and the dress was really cute but still casual. It was white with a faint grey and pink embroidered floral pattern on it, and the spaghetti straps added a touch of sexy. Did I want to come off as sexy? Maybe. I smiled.
I yanked the sundress from the hanger, causing the hanger to spin and fall to the floor. I pulled off my shirt and jeans and slipped into the dress and then rushed to the bathroom to look myself over. The dress looked nice, but my bra straps didn’t, so I unclasped my bra and slipped it off, tossing it behind me into the bedroom.
"Nice."
I jumped, clasping my palpitating chest. I turned to find Brandt standing in front of the bed with my bra hanging over his head. He slowly peeled it off and dangled it from a finger. I covered my mouth, somewhat embarrassed. "You and your brother have serious privacy issues."
As he spun the bra in the air, he wittily replied, "To be fair, you did say it was practically my house, too." He seduced me with his deep dimples and tossed my bra onto the bed. "Are you ready to go?"