Revik grimaced openly at that, but still wouldn’t meet any of our gazes.
"He talked about you, too, Esteemed Bridge,” Chandre added, looking at me. “He told the rest of us that you knew the truth. He said you were the only one who believed him, because you were his sister.” Chandre’s frown deepened as her gaze swiveled to Wreg. “He also talked about Jon. He seemed particularly obsessed with Jon. How Jon was doing, whether Jon missed him, whether the rest of us knew how important Jon was. He worried Menlim would ‘find out about Jon’ from ‘the worms.’ He definitely thought Menlim was talking to him in his dreams...and that Menlim and Shadow were the same person. He worried he couldn’t keep secrets from him...”
"Fantastic," Wreg muttered, leaning back on his good hand.
Revik continued to stare at Chandre, as if trying to make sense of what she'd said, or somehow work it into a different explanation. Finally, he shook his head.
"He was lying," he said flatly. "This was Terian, remember? He was playing some kind of mind game...consciously or not."
"I thought that," I said, before Chandre could answer. "I thought that, even at the time...but honestly, I just can't see why he'd go there. He doesn't know anything about that part of your past, does he? Not in detail. Not enough to really be able to screw with you about it. Besides, if that was all it was, why talk to me about it? Why not you?"
"I wasn't in there enough––" Revik began.
"That crazy fuck could have found out about Nenz’s past," Wreg cut in. "He was Head of the damned network. Long enough to have access to all of their intelligence. He'd know everything Galaith collected over the years..."
"He was Head, yeah," I agreed. "But would he have found out anything about Menlim? I'd be surprised if Galaith knew most of that stuff. What he did know, he kept off the network. We found those books of his, remember? When the boy first appeared, we got all of our intelligence from primary sources, most of them hand-written...?"
I glanced at Revik, but he still wouldn't meet my gaze. His face was like stone, his eyes trained on the far wall. I looked back at Wreg and Chandre.
"...Terian tried to find out things about Revik's past from me when he held me captive in D.C.," I added. "He told me he found the boy through an old journal of Revik's, but that he couldn’t figure out what most of it meant. I didn't see anything in Galaith's diary about Revik's past, not in terms of actual details. Whatever Galaith knew, he didn't risk writing down. The few references he made, even about Revik's true identity, were oblique, to say the least."
"Again," Revik said, anger edging into his words. "How do you know Terian wasn't simply lying, Allie? We've seen plenty of evidence that he picked things up, even while wearing a collar...things there’s no way he could have known unless he was reading us right through the damned thing. Even the prescience displayed through the collar, so why couldn't he have gotten information from you? Or Salinse? Or Shadow himself?"
I looked at him. Caution slid over my light when I saw his expression, but I kept my voice noncommittal. "He could have," I admitted. "I didn't say anything because I wanted to be sure. I was going to try talking to Feigran again, after that interrogation with Surli, when Surli hinted something similar about Shadow's identity..." Seeing Revik’s jaw harden more, I shrugged, holding up my hands in a seer apology. "...Look, you heard it. You were there. Then Feigran was taken by Shadow's people, and I didn't get the chance. But after what happened in Argentina, I thought we should talk about it." Hesitating, I went back and forth for a few seconds in my mind, then said it anyway. "Anyway, it feels true to me, Revik. I can't explain why, but it does. Even in my last conversation with him, Feigran didn’t act like someone who was playing games, intentionally or not. He was very curious about you. He wanted to know if the pictures 'uncle' had shown him about you were true..."
Revik flinched outright at that, moving away from me slightly.
Repositioning himself more in the middle of the room, he refolded his arms, not looking at any of us now. I felt the aggression in his light, almost a warning to stay back. I felt a whisper of sickness coil around my light from his, too.
Watching his face, I felt my worry intensify. There was no way Revik would handle it well, if Menlim ended up being alive. He would want to go after him, probably personally...probably to the detriment of all else. He wouldn't be able to be rational about it. There was no possible way he could. Hell, I wasn’t even sure if I could be rational about it.
When Wreg spoke next, I glanced over, and saw him watching Revik too, the same thread of caution in his eyes.
"That fucker was old even then," he said. "He has to be dead by now, ilya. Even seers don't live that long. And anyway, Nenz...we saw him die."
"You saw him die?" I pressed, looking between them. "Who did, precisely? You yourself, Wreg? You, Revik? What does that mean, exactly, that you saw him die? He committed suicide, right? Pulled a Hitler when they finally broke into that stronghold in the Bavarian Alps?"
Wreg made a 'more or less' gesture with his hand, exhaling.
"Yes," he said. "That is right. So? Are you saying he contrived to make his light leave his body? That he created a body double of some kind? Pulled some kind of Barrier trick to convince a dozen or so high-ranked seers that he could shoot himself in the roof of his mouth, blowing out most of the back of his head, and somehow survive this thing, ilya?"
I opened my mouth to speak, but Revik cut me off.
"I felt it," he said, looking at me. "I felt him die, Allie. I may not have been there, but there was no mistake. I felt it."
Even so, something in Wreg's words seemed to hit at Revik, too, enough that I caught him staring off, a different layer of meaning coloring his clear eyes. I could almost see him thinking through everything I'd said and everything he remembered, as if mapping a different scenario somewhere in another part of his mind. I wanted to ask him what it was, but I didn't dare, not yet. I could tell he didn't want to talk about this...parts of this, anyway...at least not in front of Chandre and Wreg. Maybe not with me, either, at least not yet.
"Are you saying Menlim wasn't capable of a Barrier trick of that kind?" I said, my voice cautious. I aimed the question at Wreg, but my focus remained primarily on Revik. "I can think of a few things we already know he was experimenting with back then, that might have aided him in something like this..."
"The host body cannot die," Wreg said, impatient. "If he did that corpse-riding trick of Terian's, he couldn't kill his original body."
I didn't answer that, either. Even so, I found myself watching Revik again, seeing him frown as he stared at the metal floor.
There was another silence. Through it, all of us seemed to be looking at Revik, but he didn't look at any of us. I watched him go somewhere else, still staring at the far wall, his hands in fists under where he had his arms crossed over his chest.
"You're the only one who would have known for sure," I said to him. "You were already gone, baby...Galaith had you, along with the Adhipan. You would have been on your way to the Pamir by then, so you couldn't have verified that he'd really been gone."
"Allie," Revik cut in. His voice held that hard note again. "I went over the Barrier records meticulously. If you think I would risk making a mistake about something like that..."
"No, Revik,” I cut in. “I don't. I really don’t...not intentionally. But," I reminded him, my voice quieter again, more gentle. "...He would have known that, too. Right?"
"So? You're saying he managed to..." He trailed, shaking his head angrily, but I saw a hard coil of energy leave his light, bright enough to make me flinch, brighter than anything I’d seen him emit, at least without using the telekinesis. “...It’s bullshit,” he said, controlling himself with an effort. “It’s bullshit, Allie. Even he couldn’t have pulled this off.”
"You’re probably right,” I said, still watching his face. "Except for one thing, Revik. You've been worried about this before. I know you have. This isn't the first time it's crossed
your mind that he might be alive. You went after him in Argentina without a second's hesitation. The instant that mirage appeared, you tried to kill him. Why wouldn't you assume it was a trick, if you really believed he was dead?"
At his deepening frown, I hesitated again, adding softer,
"...You told me once, that you had doubts,” I said. “You said that a part of you never quite believed that he was gone."
"Because I was afraid of him, Allie!" he snapped, staring at me with his pale, colorless eyes. "That was trauma, not logic...gaos...to use that against me!"
"I'm not using anything against you! Jesus, Revik..."
"The fuck you're not..."
"Isn't it better to know the truth? Whatever it ends up being?"
"I know the truth! He's dead, Allie!”
Silence fell in the room again. None of the rest of us looked at one another, but I felt nerves shiver off Wreg and Chandre’s light, too, as they watched Revik. As if he felt some of that himself, Revik exhaled in frustration, running a hand through his black hair.
“He's been dead for almost a hundred years,” he said, his voice more subdued. “If you think I'm going to question that because of something Feigran said, you're out of your fucking mind..." He trailed again, as if running out of words, his eyes as hard as glass. "Gaos..." he growled. "Di'lantente a guete...ends of the darkest earth, and this is what I'm considering. Like we don’t have enough crap to deal with right now...!"
Gripping his hair in one hand, he muttered a few more phrases under his breath, that time in a language I didn't know. Even so, his eyes never lost that faraway look, as if he were arguing more with himself at that point, or maybe someone I couldn't see.
In any case, gauging his eyes, I didn't answer.
Chandre and Wreg didn’t say anything, either.
I saw Wreg frown, as if thinking. I saw his eyes blur faintly, too, and I wondered if he was going over his own memories of what had occurred, trying to frame them in this new light, even through the painkillers. After another pause, where Revik wouldn't look at any of us and Chandre watched Wreg, I let out a sigh of my own.
"Anyway," I said. "We don't know anything. And you’re right. It was Feigran. Terian. So maybe me telling you this doesn't actually bring us any closer to the truth about Shadow, but I thought I should tell you anyway. Given everything, I thought the rest of you should at least look at it." I watched Revik's face, but only for a breath. "It bears looking at, right?” I said. “I mean, if it's actually Menlim we're dealing with...in terms of this Barrier-based network thing, we need to know. Especially if we’re talking multiple anchors in the physical. Didn't you and Wreg say they'd have to be really highly-trained seers to act as anchors? Adepts of some kind? What if it was him and Salinse and this Xarethe person Balidor told us about? Would that be enough, do you think?"
I tried to make my voice businesslike that time, in the hopes of engaging Revik's more practical, strategic side, I guess.
It almost worked. At least it got him to glance at me. I could see him thinking about what I'd said. A few seconds later, his frown deepened, but that look I'd seen building behind his eyes seemed to have faded into the background.
"Yeah," he said finally. "We can try a few more combinations. The most we'd gotten to were three, though, and it still didn't work, Allie. There are still too many structural instabilities without a framework like the Pyramid for sharing light." His eyes met mine again, and briefly, the expression I saw there clutched at my heart. The dead look behind his eyes made it difficult for me to breathe for a few seconds. "...We'll need to get 'Dori to look at this," he added. "...and maybe Varlan, Tarsi, anyone with a high enough actual who would have been active back then."
His jaw firmed as he continued to take in my face almost warily.
"...You were convinced by this, when you spoke to Feigran?" he said. "Something in you and Terian's connection made you believe it?"
I nodded, stifling the impulse to walk over and touch him. Whatever he was feeling, he was keeping it locked behind his light's shields, but enough of him leaked through the connection we shared that I found myself fighting tears.
"Yes," I said, clearing my throat.
"Then we'll need to do scans on you, too, Allie. We'll need to see every second of each interview...all of them, all right?"
His voice grew less hard towards the end. Seeing his expression soften as he looked at me, I nodded again, wiping my face with my hand.
"Of course," I said.
Looking around at Wreg and Chandre, I fought my voice clear.
"...I hope I'm wrong," I said. "I hate that son of a bitch more than I can possibly put in words. But that's all the more reason to be sure. If there's even a small chance that Feigran picked up on something real..." I glanced at Revik again. "I want that bastard dead. It has to take priority. Above everything else. Even Cass."
I saw something in Revik's eyes relax, right before he nodded.
"We need to know," Wreg agreed, decisive. He looked at Revik, too, as if measuring his reaction with his eyes. "...I'll round up everyone who fought with us the first time," he said. "See how many knew that fucker's light well enough to track him...and who else might have been there when he died. For some reason, I'm thinking Deklan was there, too. For the death rituals, at least. Neela was with me when we found the body..."
Revik nodded again, once. His eyes were still harder than usual, but clear, I noticed; I could see him there again. His shoulders and arms had relaxed somewhat, too. Enough that I could feel some of the tension leaving my own body.
"We'll pull a meeting together when we get back," Revik said, sounding like the military commander he was. When he looked at me that time, I saw a faint apology in his eyes. "...But first, we'll conduct preliminary scans on Allie, Jon, Chan, Maygar and whoever else. Hopefully, we can get something of a composite on Feigran's light during that time, too." Briefly, his mouth turned grim again, even as his eyes hardened. That time, it wasn't aimed at me. "...At least we know now, one possible reason they might have been so determined to get their hands on Feigran. If his ability really did give him eyes into Shadow, he probably could have helped us map the network, too. He could have seen this thing coming with Cass..."
"Oh!" Chandre said suddenly, making all of us jump.
We all swiveled our eyes, staring at her.
"I forgot,” she said, her voice more subdued. “...Perhaps he did. Perhaps there are diagrams of this mapping already? I am told there are drawings, correct? Feigran seemed quite concerned about these...about his drawings back at the hotel in New York.”
Wreg was already shaking his head, though.
"I’m sorry to say, those were almost completely incomprehensible, sister," Wreg said. "I had my people look at all of them. Feigran didn't so much as doodle a smiley face that we didn't double-check for imprints or anything that might gain us some intel. On 90% of it, there was nothing."
"But you didn’t know what you were looking for back then,” I pressed, looking first at Wreg, then at Chandre and Revik. "You didn’t figure out this network thing until we got to Argentina. Maybe you wouldn't have realized what you had, if he only drew parts of it? I mean, you didn't have Revik look at most of those, did you?"
"We gave him a few," Wreg said, but he looked at Revik, too. His eyes narrowed as he seemed to be thinking about my words.
"You would have given him the ones that resonated with the old network, under Galaith," I said, pressing once I saw his expression clear. "You wouldn't have thought to give him just the random Barrier diagrams...the ones that made no sense without the context of this new design you and Revik have been mapping recently. Most of your people on that detail were younger, right? They wouldn't know how to look for anything to do with Menlim or World War I. They wouldn't have even picked up on the resonance. Most of them, I mean..."
Wreg's frown deepened, but he looked at me, a faint gleam in his dark eyes. The look there turned briefly into something else, a near appreci
ation.
"Damn, your girl is smart, Nenz,” he said.
I snorted involuntarily, folding my arms. "His girl?" I rolled my eyes, even as Wreg grinned at me. "I believe that’s ‘Esteemed Bridge’ to you...peon Wreg.”
"None of this matters," Revik said, gesturing for us to cut it out. Learning his weight on the exam table on the opposite side as Wreg, he looked at the other male. "They took all the drawings, right? You said the books were all gone the night Feigran disappeared."
"The recent ones, yeah," I broke in, before Wreg could answer. "But he gave Jon, what? Four or five of the older books, at least. They wouldn't have known to take those."
"What?" Wreg's previous amusement dimmed. "That piece of shit was giving my boyfriend presents?"
“Boyfriend,” Chandre muttered, looking between the three of us. She didn’t look all that surprised, but I saw a frown touch her lips anyway. “...Ah.”
I laughed, I couldn't help it. "Feigran had a huge crush on Jon, Wreg. Don't tell me you didn't know that?"
"I didn't know that scrawny freak gave him presents."
Revik held up a hand to silence us. His eyes remained hard as glass.
"Does he still have the drawings?” he asked me. “Jon.”
"I think so. That must be what Feigran was complaining to Chan and the others about.” I glanced at Chandre and saw her nod, then smiled a bit at Wreg. “...I think he said he hid them under his bed. Probably so his man wouldn't freak out."
"Under the bed," Wreg muttered. "Wonderful."
Again, I grinned. Maybe the tension earlier made it easier for me to want to siphon it off in some way, and Wreg was the easiest target. "Speaking of beds, what are you two going to do about living arrangements when we get back?" I raised an eyebrow at him. "Neither of you has their quarters in a private construct. Or do you plan to just keep torturing the rest of us for the next however-many months?"
Allie's War Season Three Page 88