—
All in all, the time I spent in DC and on television and radio shows was well worth the difficult moments. I finally felt like I was making a dent when I watched as senators started using the talking points that I had crafted and proliferated out into the media. I was honored to represent the women fighting and bleeding on our battlefields. Having my name appear on lists like Newsweek magazine’s 125 Women of Impact for 2012 and Foreign Policy magazine’s 100 Leading Global Thinkers of 2013 was absolutely surreal. To be included in the ranks of people like Malala Yousafzai and Pope Francis was more of a nod to the great strides female soldiers were making than it was personal recognition. I took every opportunity I could to speak to the world about the great things these women were doing.
Being so outspoken on such a controversial topic is not without its cost, though, and this particular topic seems to bring out the worst in people whose fragile grasp on their idea of gender roles cannot withstand the challenge of intellectual debate. While waiting in the coat check line during Foreign Policy magazine’s Leading Global Thinkers celebratory dinner in Washington, DC, an older gentleman behind me struck up a conversation by asking me how I was involved with the event. When I told him that I was one of the recipients and why, he began trying to convince me why women have no place in combat.
“Little lady, why can’t you just leave the fightin’ to the men who are so good at it? I mean, what could you possibly have to contribute?” he asked.
I grinned at the irony as I thought about all of the things I had seen and done. We were living in a different world from the one in which this former ambassador and US Marine had served. And out of respect for his generation and his service, I attempted to politely end the conversation as I retrieved my coat. My husband, Brandon, had just emerged from the restroom and joined me, but quickly noticed the look on my face.
“Hey, what’s up?” he asked with a concerned look on his face.
“Oh, nothing. This gentleman is explaining to me why women shouldn’t be in combat,” I said, smiling up at my sweet, supportive husband.
With eyebrows raised, Brandon helped me with my coat. Then he turned back toward the gentleman and gave him a polite nod.
“I see. Well, good luck with that, sir,” he said.
With a chuckle, we both turned to go. Unfortunately, the ambassador wasn’t satisfied with that and proceeded to follow us, raising his voice and drawing glances from the other attendees gathered around the venue.
We bypassed the escalator at the other end of the hall and decided to jog up the staircase in front of us, managing to lose our pursuer. Even high heels and an evening gown can’t slow down this chick when she’s determined to evade the enemy.
—
Despite the occasional backlash, I’ll continue to speak on this topic until people stop assuming that this debate is about whether or not to allow women into combat. Women are already fighting in combat with or without anyone’s permission, and they’re doing so valiantly. What they aren’t doing is being trained alongside their comrades-in-arms, given credit for doing the same jobs as their counterparts, given promotions to jobs overseeing combat operations, or being treated like combat veterans by people back home (even some in the Veterans Administration).
Not every man has the skill set or warrior spirit for combat. Not every woman does, either. But everyone that does have that skill set should be afforded the opportunity to compete for jobs that enable them to serve in the way their heart calls them. For some people, that calling is in music or art. Some are natural teachers. There are those who will save lives with science. I was called to be a warrior and to fly and fight for my country. I was afforded the opportunity to answer that call, and because of that, I have lived a full and beautiful life.
People will always be afraid of change. Just like when we integrated racially or opened up combat cockpits to women, there will always be those who are vocal in their opposition and their fear.
History will do what it always does, however. It will make their ignorant statements, in retrospect, seem shortsighted and discriminatory, and the women who will serve their country bravely in the jobs that are now opening up will prove them wrong. Just like we always have.
MJ on board.
All photos courtesy of the author.
At Tarin Kowt (TK) with MJ flying.
Jager.
At SERE with MJ’s evasion partner.
MJ receives the top academic award.
MJ is sworn in by Graham Buschor.
MJ solo in her T-37.
Fighting fires.
Helo pickup.
MJ in the co-pilot seat.
Refueling (painted for wildfires).
Pedro 15 and 16.
Pave Hawk.
Pedro 15.
MJ and ***** ******.
TieJie “TJ” Jones (on right).
Steven, George, MJ, and *****.
Distinguished Flying Cross (with Valor) Certification.
MJ on MSNBC.
Acknowledgments
There are two people without whom this book would not be in print. To my agent and friend, Gillian MacKenzie, who has walked this long road to publication with me, believing in me every step of the way. Janie Fransson, your notes and edits took this story to another level, and I am so grateful to you for all of your help. I’ll think of you every time I order a bourbon . . . so I’ll think of you a lot.
There are hundreds of people without whom I would never have had such an amazing career, both in the military and out. To the men and women I’ve served with who epitomize the Rescue motto of “These things we do that others may live”: Your sacrifices and bravery are priceless to those on the battlefield and off. Steve, TieJie, George, Dave, Finn, Darren, BT, Rhys, Blue, Astro, Jimmy, Andy, Gibby, *****, Red, Nate, Matt, Dono, Zerk, Rabbit, TK, and many others, it was the honor of my lifetime to have gone into battle with you.
Ric, my Brit Commando hero, thank you for your contribution to this work and your unwavering support. Quil Lawrence, you got me off to a great start! To Penguin Random House and Berkley Publishing Group for believing in this story enough to champion it with your teams. Greg Crouch and Conley Giles, thank you for your guidance and mentoring. Pat Muller, thanks for letting me steal your loving phrase for Jude and Daniel’s dedication. To Julia Bringloe, a true warrior, you are my hero, and I am humbled anytime anyone uses our names in the same sentence. To the ACLU, we may not always agree about everything, but I will be forever grateful to you for continuing to challenge the status quo.
To my stepkids, you have shown a resiliency that I aspire to myself, and I hope that the things I do today will help create a better world for you as you grow up.
To my mom, Grace Jennings, for supporting me all of these years. Your sacrifices and strength have made all of this possible. To my sister, Elaine, thank you for being Aunt Lanie to Jude and Daniel.
To my dad, David, who inspired me to try anything without wondering first if I would succeed. To all of my friends, family, and comrades-in-arms who have filled my life with these stories. Thank you.
And to everyone who ever tried to convince me that I couldn’t win, thank you for inspiring me to prove you wrong. Na-na na-na boo-boo.
* I would advise anyone reading this who may be going to SERE at some point in their career not to read the next couple of pages. I also advise you to resist the temptation to research and find out what it will be like. I won’t include anything in this book that’s not available on the internet (posted by people who have shared experiences on blogs and such), and my account has been cleared by the DoD for release, but if you go to the training with an idea of what to expect, you’re doing yourself a disservice. By the end of the course, you will not be as well prepared for the future as the person standing next to you.
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Shoot Like a Girl Page 23