I'm Not in the Band

by Amber Garza

  “I miss you, Kate,” I whisper into the quiet night air. Kate believed in spirts and ghosts. She thought the dead could hear us if we spoke to them. I like to think that we go to heaven. That we leave the earth and no longer hear from those left here. Either way, I need to get the words off my chest. I need to say all the things I should’ve said when Kate was alive. “I miss being Kate and Kass, the two Ks at Hamilton. I miss your laugh and your crazy ideas. And how you gave the best bear hugs ever. I miss the way you would tell the most fantastic stories.” I pause, a tiny laugh bubbling from my throat. “Remember when we were younger and we’d have sleepovers? You’d make up stories about all the people we saw that night and tell me as we fell asleep. I would have the craziest dreams those nights.” My lips curl into a broad smile. Peering over my shoulder, I find Archer standing a few feet away, leaning against a tree.

  Lowering my voice, I say, “I always thought we’d be friends when we were older and married with kids. You would’ve been the perfect suburban housewife. It still doesn’t seem real that you’re gone. Maybe it never will.” Blowing out a breath, I drop my hand from the gravestone and hold it in my lap. A cool breeze whisks over my skin, carrying with it the scent of soil and grass. I shiver. “You’ll always be a part of me, Kate. But I’m my own person now. I’ve tried so many new things that I never would’ve tried if you were still here. I go to Oakhollow High. You always hated public school. Thought it was beneath you. But I like it. I think I belong there. I run track and I’m really good at it. I know you always wanted me to cheer, but that was never my thing.” I clasp my hands together. “I tried a painting class. That was a disaster. But this boy I’ve been seeing—Archer—he came, and it made it a lot of fun. You would like Archer, I think. You already liked his brother, Ross Devlin. Archer’s not like his brother, but he’s really sweet.” Biting my lip, I picture Kate’s face the last time I saw her. Tears shine in my eyes. “We were so different, you and me. I think you wanted us to be alike. You tried so hard to make me like you. I wanted to be like you, too, Kate. I tried really hard. But it just isn’t who I am. This is who I am, and sometimes I wonder if you’d even like me anymore. If you’d still want to be my friend. I think you would.” Hoisting myself up, I stand. “But it’s time for me to let you go, Kate. So, this is good-bye. I love you, my friend. My bestie. My other half. Rest in peace.”

  Turning away from Kate’s grave, I move swiftly toward Archer.

  “You okay?” he asks in a concerned tone when I reach him.

  I nod.

  He lightly wipes away the remaining traces of tears on my face with his fingertips. “You sure?”

  Nodding again, I bite my lip to keep it from trembling. “I said what I needed to.”

  “Is there anything else I can do?”

  It’s such an Archer thing to say. I have no idea how I got so lucky.

  “Yeah. You can kiss me,” I say.

  “Now we’re talking.” He wraps his arms around my waist, tugging me close. Then he stops abruptly, a teasing gleam in his eyes. “Oh, should I lose the shirt, you think?”

  My cheeks flame and I swat at him. I kind of wish he would lose the shirt, but no way am I saying that out loud. “Shut up and kiss me.”

  Without another word, he presses his lips firmly over mine.

  Chapter Forty-One

  Archer

  Kassidy Milton is in a relationship with Archer Devlin

  …

  Me: Saw your post on Facebook

  Kassidy: And?

  Me: And I like it.

  Kassidy: You’re okay with being tied down?

  Me: Didn’t know you were into that kind of thing.

  Kassidy: LOL! I meant, you’re okay being exclusive?

  Me: I’m good. The hottest girl in school is mine.

  Kassidy: And I’ve got the hottest guy.

  Me: Stop talking like that or I’m coming over right now to kiss you.

  Kassidy: I dare you.

  Me: Nah. Your parents would kill me.

  Kassidy: True. But I’ll hold you to that kiss in the morning.

  Me: I better hurry and get to bed, then.

  …

  Archer Devlin is in a relationship with Kassidy Milton

  Brody “Mac” MacMillan Is this for real?

  Archer Devlin It sure is.

  Kassidy Milton Yes, it’s for real.

  Brody “Mac” MacMillan ’Bout time. I don’t need to give you the speech about not hurting my best friend. I’m sure you already know the drill.

  Kassidy Milton You don’t have to worry. But duly noted.

  Brody “Mac” MacMillan Not sure what duly noted means, but thanks.

  John Cruise Isn’t this supposed to read “Archer Devlin is in a relationship with Brody “Mac” MacMillan?”

  Archer Devlin No.

  Brody “Mac” MacMillan He wishes.

  Kassidy Milton Are you trying to steal my boyfriend? Should I be the one having the talk with you, Mac?

  Brody “Mac” MacMillan If I wanted him, he’d already be mine.

  Kassidy Milton Oh, bring it. We can throw down.

  Archer Devlin Are you inviting him to dinner, Kassidy? ;)

  Kassidy Milton According to my mom’s definition of “throw down,” I guess I just did.

  Archer Devlin Ha ha!

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Kassidy

  #21—Make it official

  “I guess we’re official now.” Archer nuzzles my cheek with his nose as he presses me up against his van in the parking lot before school. “Facebook official.”

  “It does seem that way, doesn’t it?”

  His lips trail over my cheek and up to my ear. “It is that way,” he whispers, and I shiver. Drawing back, he winks. “And to commemorate, I wrote you something.”

  The smile he wears piques my interest. It also makes me a little wary. “Oh, really?”

  “Yep.” When he starts bobbing his head up and down, I know what’s coming.

  “A rap?”

  He nods. “I know how much you love it.”

  I giggle.

  “Uh uh. Yo.”

  A few students pass us, glancing over curiously, but Archer isn’t deterred. He continues his silly little dance.

  “Uh uh. Parking lot before school, chilling with Kassidy. If I was allergic to hot girls, then I would sneeze. My name is Archer and my rhymes are fire, we can share a hot kiss now, if you so desire.”

  His arm hooks around my waist, and he tugs me forward until we almost bump. His lips cover mine, stealing my breath. Reaching up, I skim my palm over his cheek and then run my fingers through his hair. One of his hands rests against my face while the other curves around my waist, drawing me forward. Our chests press together, our heartbeats mingling. His lips move deftly over mine, his tongue coaxing them open. A soft moan sounds at the back of my throat, and he kisses me more intensely.

  When we part, I peer up at him. “That sounded suspiciously like the last rap you wrote for me.”

  He shrugs. “Why mess with a good thing. Gotta give my fans what they want, right?”

  “And by fans, you mean me?”

  “You know it.” His fingertips skim my jawline. “Plus, it worked, right?”

  I nod in agreement. “But to be fair, I would’ve kissed you even without the rap.”

  “Ah. Let’s test that theory.”

  Our lips are still so close it barely takes any movement for them to fasten to each other once again.

  “Oh, God, my eyes!” Mac interrupts us.

  After Archer pulls his lips away, I drop my head to his chest. When he laughs, it reverberates through my cheek.

  “I’m sure your eyes have seen worse,” Archer assures him.

  “Don’t mind him. He’s just jealous.” John waltzes up. “I guess congratulations are in order.”

  “Dude, they’re not having a baby.” With wide eyes, Mac glances at us. “You’re not, right?”

  A stunned laugh shoots from
my mouth. “What? No.”

  “By the way you two have been going at it, it could happen,” Mac points out, causing my face to flame.

  I bury it in Archer’s chest again.

  “She’s not pregnant. That would be impossible.” I’m grateful that Archer spells it out. I don’t want rumors like that to spread. There’s already been enough gossip about me this year.

  As we walk toward the school hallway, Archer threads his fingers through mine. Mac and John walk to the side of us.

  “Ross is coming to town for the weekend,” Archer says.

  “Are you excited?”

  “Yeah. And he’s excited to see you again.”

  I smile, grateful that things aren’t weird anymore. Archer’s cool with Ross and I being friends. He knows it’ll never become anything more.

  “Don’t tell Sophie, though,” I joke. “She’ll be camped out at your house wearing some skimpy outfit and hanging all over him.”

  Archer laughs. “I’m so glad you’re not like that.” His gaze travels down to my jeans and T-shirt, our matching Converse. “I like you just the way you are.”

  “I like you just the way you are too,” I say back.

  “Man, you two are like something out of a bad chick flick,” Mac butts in. “Dude, I always thought you’d produce some cool action movie one day, but now I’m a little worried you’re going to make a lame romance.” He nudges me. “Your girl has brainwashed you.”

  I nudge him back. “Or maybe he’s finally thinking clearly.”

  “Ooh, burn,” John teases.

  Archer laughs, proudly squeezing my hand.

  Reaching the school hallway, Archer opens the door and I walk in, our hands still linked. Passing Ella, I catch the scowl on her face as she mutters something to her friend. Tiffany doesn’t hide her disgust, either. But I don’t let it get to me. They can think what they want. I don’t care. Archer’s all mine, and I’m proud of it.

  …

  “Told you she likes you.”

  Nancy Drew has wanted absolutely nothing to do with me since Archer arrived tonight. She’s been camped in his lap for almost an hour while we sat on the couch, watching TV.

  “I think it was a ploy by you to hog all the popcorn,” Archer says.

  “No. This was all Nancy’s doing.”

  With a gentle push, he nudges Nancy off his lap. Then he rubs his palms together, wiping off all the excess hair. “As much as I like Nancy Drew, I actually didn’t come over to spend time with her. And if I’m touching anyone, I’d like that ‘anyone’ to be you.”

  “I won’t argue with that.” My insides flip the closer he comes. Pretty soon, he’s practically on top of me, his body sliding against mine. Our lips find each other quickly, as if they’ve been scoping each other out all night. His kiss is firm and strong. I lean into him, my body buzzing all the way down to my toes.

  Feeling brave, I slip my hand to the bottom of his shirt and then under it. My palm connects with his stomach, and he sucks in a surprised breath. His hands feather down my neck and collarbone as our kiss deepens. Our tongues tangle as I continue to slide my palm up his stomach until it reaches his chest. It feels as good as I thought it would the day I saw it at his house. I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind. As if reading braille, I trace every ridge and nuance, memorizing it with the pads of my fingers.

  I’ve never touched a guy’s chest before, unless you count the time I played Marco Polo at a party with some friends and I accidentally swam right up against some guy I hardly knew.

  But this is nothing like that. This is on purpose. He’s not laughing at me or treating me like a joke. A low moan sounds at the back of his throat, and his breath is coming out more labored.

  Footsteps in the hallway catch my attention, and I reluctantly remove my hand. Archer tears his mouth from mine, a flash of disappointment in his eyes. We scramble off of one another and sit upright. I smooth down my hair and lick my lips. Archer adjusts his shirt, tugging it over his stomach.

  On the screen, a man shoots another man in the head. We both flinch.

  “This is what you like to watch?” Archer raises his eyebrows. “You’re pretty badass.”

  I laugh. “I don’t like the gore part. I like solving the mystery.”

  “Ugh.” Sophie’s voice sounds from over my shoulder. “Seriously, this is what you’re watching?” Coming around the couch, she flops down in the recliner. She’s wearing sweats and her hair is in a bun. Surprisingly, her face is scrubbed clean. It’s rare to see Sophie without makeup on, but she’s so pretty she doesn’t need it. “Oh.” Sophie gives both of us the once over. “You two weren’t watching this, were you?”

  My cheeks flush.

  “Anyway, that’s cool because a special about the Playlisters is airing tonight. Wouldn’t you rather watch that?” Sophie asks.

  “Not really,” I say.

  “Doesn’t matter to me.” Archer scoots until we are flush against each other, then he drapes his arm over my shoulders. “I just want to be close to this girl.”

  Sophie rolls her eyes. “You guys are disgusting.” Picking up the remote she points it at the TV. The channel changes and there is Ross singing and dancing around the stage with no shirt on, jeans riding low on his hips.

  “If I wanted to see that I would’ve just looked in a mirror,” Archer jokes.

  “You don’t look that much alike,” I say.

  “We’re identical,” Archer says in disbelief. “We’ve actually pretended to be one another a lot of times and been successful.”

  “I know. Looks-wise you are identical. But that’s where the similarities end. I’d never confuse the two of you.”

  “Really?” He raises his brows. “If we were both here, you would definitely know which one I was.”

  “No doubt.”

  “I totally agree,” Sophie chimes in. “Ross is hot with a capitol H.” She licks her lips. “Yummy.” Her smile turns to a frown. “Then again, I’m the only of the three of us who hasn’t met him.”

  Archer and I exchange a look. We won’t get away with hiding Ross forever. Inevitably Sophie will have to meet him. But we’ll do our best to keep under wraps as long as we can.

  Without responding to Sophie, I lean over and whisper in Archer’s ear, “Don’t listen to her.” You’re definitely hotter than your brother. And I have met him.”

  “God, I love you,” he growls.

  I freeze, my heart stopping. Sophie gasps from over my shoulder.

  Archer’s eyes widen. “Did I say that out loud?”

  I nod. “Did you mean it?”

  “I did. I’ve thought it a lot. I just couldn’t work up the nerve to say it.” He laughs in a stilted way. “Guess I just needed to blurt it out.”

  “I love you, too, Archer.”

  He rewards me with hot, searing kiss. Blocking out everything around us, I press my lips firmly to his. With my gentle touch, I convey how much he means to me, and with my lips I promise to never let him go.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Archer

  @archerdev1 She loves me. #taken #inarelationship #luckiestguy

  Me: I love you.

  Kassidy: I love you, too.

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  Acknowledgments

  Writing and publishing a book takes courage, stamina, and a lot of hard work. And in order for that to happen, the author needs an amazing support system. Here is mine:

  Andrew, thank you for choosing me. Not just nineteen years ago, but every single day. You make my life so much better.

  Eli, I never could’ve made it through the edits without your knowledge of how teen boys speak and text. Thank you for always being available when I had a quick question (or a long one). And thank you for writing Archer’s stellar rap.

  Kayleen, thanks for being so understanding on those nights when wor
k came before our “girl time.”

  To both of you, I’m so proud to be your mom. Keep reaching for the stars. I have no doubt you will catch them.

  Stephanie, I appreciate you always being a phone call or message away. Thank you for believing in my book. I’m so lucky to have you as my agent.

  Candace, I learned so much from you during the edting process. Thank you for your initial belief in the book, and for all the work you did to take it to the next level.

  To the rest of my team at Entangled – Anita, Crystal, Melissa, and so many more – thank you! You guys are great!

  Cambria and Cameo, our daily chats keep me going. Thanks for always being so supportive and encouraging.

  Megan, my first reader of this book, I’m so grateful that we get to do this crazy job together.

  To my parents, thank you for instilling in me a love of the written word from an early age.

  My high school English teacher Mr. Greenbaum, thank you for believing in my writing ability.

  Grandpa, thank you for being one of my biggest cheerleaders in life.

  Thank you to all my friends and family (there are too many of you to name) who have supported me from the very beginning.

  And, most importantly, I’m grateful to God. Everything I do is for you.

  About the Author

  Amber Garza currently lives in California with her amazing husband, and two hilarious children who provide her with enough material to keep her writing for years.

  Amber loves to connect with her readers. You can visit her at ambergarza.com, or find her on Instagram and Facebook as ambergarzaauthor, or on twitter @ambermg1.

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