Conviction
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Epilogue
More Books by Corinne Michaels
About the Author
Acknowledgements
Sneak Peek of Fear of Falling by S.L. Jennings
Chapter 1
Copyright © 2015 Corinne Michaels
All rights reserved.
ISBN 978-1-942834-06-9
No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means including electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written consent of the author.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and beyond the intent of the author or publisher.
Editor: Lisa Christman
Adept Edits
Proofreading: Ashley Williams, AW Editing
Interior Design and Formatting: Christine Borgford
Perfectly Publishable
Cover Design: Okay Creations
Cover photo © Perrywinkle Photography
To my mother, you always believed in me even when I didn’t.
Your love, friendship, support, and courage made me the woman I am today.
Without you, none of this would be possible.
Time isn’t something I ever thought much about.
It ebbs and flows, but it never changes. I can’t make it stop—no matter how much I want to. There’s no way to rewind the clock or halt it. In this moment, all I want is to make the world stop and go back to when I was happy and ready to tackle the world. Just two short minutes ago, there was no worry about how my day would go. I was going away with the man I love, the one who healed me. But time isn’t my friend. It slaps me in the face and laughs as I stand here wondering how the hell any of this is happening. I don’t want to move forward, and I sure as hell don’t want to slow it down.
“Aaron?”
He stands before me—alive. The man who I would’ve sold my soul to have back again a year ago is here. I take a hesitant step forward. I’m aware of the people around me, but my mind can’t focus on anything else but him.
“Hi, baby,” he rasps.
“Oh, my God. You’re alive?” I ask and step closer. His dark brown eyes glimmer with hope and happiness.
“I’m here,” he says, and I rush forward. My arms wrap around his neck while the tears fall. He’s alive and here. In my arms, I hold my lost husband as he rubs my back. My heart races as I fully start to process what’s happening. Aaron holds the back of my head as I sob into his chest. “I missed you so much,” he murmurs and rocks.
“You’re alive.” My heart stutters while I struggle to catch my breath. I hold him closer and squeeze just to be sure.
He winces, and I step back. Aaron comes forward with a smile, and I place my hand on his face. He has bruises on the side of his cheek and neck, his hair is long, but it’s really him. The man I loved for so long and the father of my daughter is home. It’s unbelievable.
“I-I thought . . .” I choke on the words, as my breathing grows shallow. “You’re . . . I don’t know what—”
My mind spins as the last year of grief, sadness, and devastation crashes around me. He was alive and we didn’t know. We didn’t look. Or maybe it’s just a dream?
“Shh.” He takes my hand in his. “It’s okay now. I’m here, we’re going to be fine, baby. I’m home.”
The words filter through me and my gaze shifts as I notice movement to the right.
Liam. Oh my God . . . Liam.
I look over to the side where he stands with his head bowed. My heart thumps out of sync. Tears well in my eyes as the enormity of this moment comes down around me. Liam still doesn’t look at me. The pain lances through me as I beseech with my eyes for him to turn and look at me.
Please, just see me, I beg him, but he doesn’t lift his eyes.
My feet move toward him, but he still doesn’t move.
“Liam, please,” I plead with tears falling.
His eyes lift, and while his face is stoic, his eyes give it away. He’s hurting.
“Natalie?” Aaron’s voice breaks through the small moment I was having with Liam.
I turn around and try to get a hold of myself. Jackson and Mark stand to the side, watching the mess unfold. There’s so much confusion rolling around within me. I don’t know what to do, where to turn, or how any of this is happening. I was packing my car to go to Corolla. I was going to spend time with the man I love. The man I was building a future with. And now my husband is here.
I step back and my body begins to shake. This is too much. No one can endure this and come out on the other side. I’m losing it. Shock rolls through me like waves on the sand. “I can’t breathe,” I say aloud.
Mark takes a step toward me. “Lee, it’s okay.”
I laugh sarcastically. “No. None of this is okay. None of this makes any sense!” I scream as my heart implodes. “I can’t! I mean, this isn’t real.”
I feel someone close in behind me and Mark shakes his head. “It is real.”
Turning around, Aaron is right there. “I’m here, Lee. I’m home.” He sounds so hopeful as if this is everything I could want. Of course I had wanted this for so long. He was my world and now he’s back, but what does all this mean? Liam is the man I love. How am I going to do this now?
Aaron’s hand reaches out then he touches my arm. My body locks as Liam watches with sadness in his eyes. I look at Aaron, and the past comes down upon me. This isn’t my husband I dreamt of. This isn’t the man I loved with every part of me. This is the man that a few months ago I found out had an affair. The same man who almost had a baby with someone else. His hands feel foreign, and as he goes to embrace me, my hand rises and I stop him. I’m no better than he is in this moment. “Please, just, I need . . .” I trail off.
Liam is here, watching me go into another man’s arms. Five minutes ago, I was relieved Aaron’s alive and Liam saw the joy in my face. I’m killing him. I see it.
“No!” I yell and step back. “Please, don’t touch me.” My hand flies to my mouth as shock locks my body in place.
Aaron’s hand drops and his breath hitches. “You’re my wife, Lee. I know you’re confused and this is a lot to take, but I’m here, baby.”
I move toward Liam, his blue eyes meet mine as I rush toward him. I take his hands in mine, but he releases them. My heart shatters as he steps back.
“Don’t pull away from me,” I demand.
“I think you need some time,” his voice cracks. “You need to talk.”
“I don’t know what I need,” I acknowledge.
“Lee,” he says and looks at Aaron, but then he returns his gaze to me.
I see it in his eyes, the resolution
forming and masking over this pain. “You’re going to walk away from me, aren’t you?” Tears fall relentlessly as I wait for his answer.
Liam’s hand lifts, and he tenderly cups my cheek. “I’m not walking away. I need a minute.”
Aaron clears his throat. “I missed a lot more than you filled me in on. I guess I understand why you’ve been so quiet now.”
The loss of Liam’s touch registers immediately.
Anger boils within as the hurt and betrayal at Aaron’s hand over the last few months comes flooding forward. “You should stop,” I demand.
“My wife?” he yells and steps forward. “You’ve been fucking my wife?”
“You were dead!” I scream, and my legs give out. I fall to the hard ground as the gravel scrapes my skin. Liam’s arms are around me in an instant.
“Get your hands off of her! You son of a bitch!” Aaron continues to raise his voice warning Liam. “I’ll kill you!”
I look up, and Jackson and Mark are holding on to Aaron, dragging him to the back of the house.
I turn into Liam’s embrace allowing his strong arms to hold me close. “Take me to Corolla. I’ll grab Aara, and we can go,” I plead. “Please, take me away.”
“Lee,” he says with regret laced in his voice. “I can’t. I wish we could, but we can’t.”
“No,” I reply defiantly. “You and I had plans.”
“And now your husband is home.”
“My cheating husband?”
Liam sighs while pushing me back slightly. “You both need to talk. I can’t be that man.”
We both stand looking at each other before I speak. “What man? The man I fell in love with? The man who told me he loved me? Because that’s the man I need.”
Liam wipes his hand down his face. “He’s your fucking husband, Lee! Not to mention he was my best friend. I saw the way you looked at him. It was clear in the second you saw him how much you love him. You ran to him, and I get it,” he says despondently. “I get why you would. You loved him. I mean, what the hell do you want me to do?”
“Fight!” I slap his chest and push. “Fight for me. Fight for us. So what, you’re going to walk away? Just hand me over like I mean nothing?” The question hangs in the air as I wait for the bomb to drop.
“You want me to fight?” he steps closer. “You think I’m not? You think this is what the hell I wanted? To deliver your husband back to you when I’m so fucking in love with you that I would’ve rather cut out my own heart? I hate that I brought him home to you.”
Anger stirs between us as the weight of the situation descends around us.
“I can’t believe this.”
Liam’s shoulders sag in defeat. “You both have a lot of things to work through. I should leave before this escalates. I won’t be that guy.”
I huff and look away. Unreal. “I can’t believe you think so little of us.”
With my pulse beating rapidly in my chest, Liam grips my shoulders pulling me close. Our noses touch while we both breathe heavily. “I would give my life for you. I would go in there and pummel his ass to a pulp if I thought that would help. But it won’t. You’re married to him. You’re his wife. Right this minute, I’m the other man. Do you understand that?”
“I belong to you.”
“No, you belong to him.”
I need him to understand me. My life changed when Liam came. He made me feel again, loved me like I’ve never known. I don’t know that I’ll survive if he leaves me. I close my eyes and press my lips to his. Gripping his shirt, I yank his body against mine.
Kiss me, dammit.
Claim me.
He stands unmoving as I pour myself into him. He doesn’t respond, and my anger grows.
Pulling back, I glare at him as his eyes shut. My hand rears back then I slap him across the face. I take pleasure in watching his eyes snap open, hoping this draws him back to me.
“What the hell was that for?”
I slap him again. I see the fight coming to life inside of him.
“Fuck you. If I mean this little to you, then go. Go. Run. Leave! Go be the man you’re not because of whatever bullshit you’ll feed yourself! Go!” I raise my hand again, but he grabs it.
Liam’s control snaps, he grips my arms tighter jerking me against him. I breathe one deep breath before his lips crash against mine. I savor the feel of his mouth pushing against mine. I get lost in the brute force of this kiss. His fingers are a vice around my arms, and I don’t care. I want him to bruise me. Leave his mark so I have proof of what we shared. My lips mold to his as I give him back all I am.
I escape the moment we’re both drowning in when our tongues touch. His grip loosens as his hands glide to my neck until they cradle my head. The mood shifts to sadness. My fingers thread in his hair as I try to hold him against me. Liam’s hands tighten, and he breaks us apart.
“I need a minute. I need a few of them. I love you, but I have to go.”
My heart shatters all over again. I’ve lost him.
“If you leave me, I don’t think you’re coming back,” I say, hoping he’ll refute me and give the comfort I’m desperate for.
Liam rests his forehead against mine. “I’m never far. You need to get through this without worrying about me.”
“You think I can do that? You think right now as happy as I am he’s alive. That I’m not distraught? That I’m not worried about how the hell you and I will survive this? I’ll worry every day about you and us.” I beg him to stay. I need him to stay.
“Aaron and you had a whole life together. We had a few months.”
“Don’t you dare downplay what we have!” I fight the urge to slap him again.
Liam runs his fingers the length of my arm. “I need you to see this from my side. I never knew if you’d have chosen him, but now I don’t know if you should choose me. I need to get my fucking head on straight. Right now, you have to let me go.” Liam’s eyes mirror mine with the agony of this moment.
I fight the tears that build. As much as I know he’s right, I wish he were wrong. I don’t know how to navigate this. It’s too much. My heart had healed, and instantly I’m raw all over again. There was a time that Aaron was everything I wanted. Now that he’s back in my life, I no longer want him. If any prayer I wish went unanswered, it was this one, only because now I have to endure the pain of breaking a man I love. But my life doesn’t work that way.
“I want you to know something before you walk away from me. I need you to know that I want you. You are the man I’m in love with. Yes, he’s my husband and Aarabelle’s father, but I love you, Liam. I love you so much more than I want to, but God, I love you. Please, hear me. I love you.”
“I love you too, but I have to do what’s right.”
“Right for who?” I scoff.
Liam leans back and waits until I look at him. His blue eyes shimmer with unshed tears. “For you. For Aarabelle. For all of us. I can’t be the man who destroys a marriage, and sure as fuck not yours and Aaron’s.”
There’s no convincing him, and all I can hope for at this moment is that he heard me.
Before I can respond, I hear someone approach from behind. Liam looks up, and by the flash in his eyes, I know it’s Aaron.
“I hate to break up this touching scene, but I’ve been gone more than a year and this isn’t exactly the reunion I anticipated.” Aaron’s voice is on the edge. “If I could have my wife, brother.”
I don’t miss the way he enunciates “wife” or “brother.”
Liam doesn’t say anything, but his arms fall, as does my heart.
He walks away without a word. I face my husband, my first love, with tears in my eyes as the man I love more than anything leaves me behind.
I want to die.
Aaron and I walk toward the back of the house where Jackson and Mark are standing. Jackson shifts, and I smother the urge to punch him in the face. “No one thought a heads up would be a good idea?” I spit the words. “No one thought I should know th
is? Did your cell phones all die? Because I can’t think of any reason why you all wouldn’t want to tell me.”
“Natalie,” Mark steps toward me. “First of all, none of us knew if it was definitely Aaron. Secondly, we couldn’t compromise the mission. This all had to happen very secretly and very covertly. And what, did you want us to call on the way over? No one knew how to handle this.”
Jackson takes a hesitant footstep. “I know you were getting your life together. I know you were happy, and for that, I’m sorry. No one here would want to hurt you. Least of all me.”
“Sure, you’re sorry.” Anger flows through me, tearing me apart.
His head bows then he turns to Aaron. “We should let you guys talk. Remember what I said about a lot changing in a year. But I’m glad you’re home.”
Aaron looks at me before turning back to Jackson. “I appreciate it. I’m happy to be back with my girls.”
The last few months rush back. I remember how I felt finding out about his transgressions. How he loved another woman. My mind starts to wonder if he means me and Aarabelle, or me and Brittany.
I can’t listen to this. I need to get a grip on what the hell is festering inside of me. There are so many things I’m feeling all at once. I walk down onto the beach, the sand burning my feet, and I welcome the pain. I stand still, lifting my head to the sky. Why? I ask the clouds. This should be a happy moment. One filled with hugs and tears of joy, but I’m left feeling as if a gaping hole was punched through my chest. Just when I thought my life was on track—boom.
My mind drifts to Liam and how devastated he was. His eyes lost the spark I loved to see. I don’t know where my life will go—once again. There are no easy answers in this situation. I have a husband, a baby, a boyfriend, and suddenly a shitload of problems. But I need him to see that I meant what I said. I want him beside me.
“Are we going to talk?” I hear Aaron ask from behind me. The raspy voice that once made me long for him now makes me want to cry.
I turn as he stands still, waiting for something from me. “No, I’d rather not. I feel like I’m about to wake up any moment, so I’m just waiting for it to happen. All of this is so confusing,” I reply and wish I could slap myself.
Conviction (Consolation Duet #2) Page 1