by Deborah Carr
Florence had always known that there was a possibility that Jesse would go before her. It was something she had pushed from her mind since their marriage. Since Jesse’s physical breakdown just before they had met, his health had held up. She couldn’t bear his body to let him down now, fifteen years later. The fear that this time Jesse might not have the physical strength to fight back terrified her.
‘You’re going to be fine, Jesse,’ she whispered. ‘I just know it.’
‘The ambulance is here, Mrs Boot,’ Albert said quietly, arriving at her side with two men and a stretcher. Florence went light-headed with relief.
Lily rushed over to her. ‘Florence,’ she said forgetting their agreed formality when at work. ‘If there is anything at all you need from me, please let me know.’
Florence gazed blankly at her dear friend’s face, comforted to have her nearby. ‘Thank you, Lily. I’ll call on you if I need to.’
She clutched Jesse’s hand, as the ambulance men placed him gently onto the stretcher. They covered him with a blanket and lifted him. Florence reluctantly let go and stepped back, giving them space to pass. Seeing them carrying Jesse away was too much to bear. Florence struggled to contain herself, holding the damp handkerchief over her mouth to stifle her cries.
Lily must have noticed. ‘He’s strong,’ she reassured Florence quietly. ‘Keep your faith, Florence. Jesse will fight this with all his might. I know he can do it.’
Florence wasn’t sure how much strength he still possessed. At least Jesse would have a decent chance being treated in the new wing of the hospital, she thought, trying to remain positive. She and Jesse had read about all the place in the newspapers recently with its latest equipment and electric lighting. She knew that Jesse would receive the best medical care in Nottingham; she just prayed that it would be enough to save his life.
Chapter 17
April 1901
Nottingham Hospital
Lily had insisted on accompanying Florence to the hospital. It was comforting to have her friend by her side. Now, as they waited in an area assigned for family members, she breathed in the smell of disinfectant that filled the room and waited for the doctors let her know how Jesse was getting on. She wished she was somewhere private and able to give in to her tears, but knew that she would have to do her best to hold on to her emotions until she was back at St Heliers House.
Lily took Florence’s shaking hands in her own. ‘Would you like me to fetch you a cup of tea, or some water perhaps?’
‘Th-thank you, no. I don’t think I’d be able to swallow anything.’ She glanced up at the clock on the wall. ‘Why do you think they’re taking so long? We’ve been here almost an hour and I still don’t know how Jesse is.’
‘I know,’ Lily said. ‘I’m certain they’ll come and speak to you soon.’ After a moment’s silence, Lily added. ‘Has anyone sent a message to St Heliers House to let the servants know you won’t be back for the children for a while, or would you like me to ask someone to let them know?’
Florence had been so focused on willing Jesse to stay alive that she hadn’t given any thought to anything or anyone else. ‘The children,’ she whispered guiltily, unsure what to do. She didn’t want to worry them unnecessarily, but they would work out that something was amiss if both their parents didn’t arrive home when they had been expecting them to.
‘I can take a carriage to the house and let Meadows and Harriet know what’s happened and they can tell your cook to go ahead and feed the children, maybe?’ Lily asked quietly.
Relieved that her friend was thinking clearly when she obviously was unable to, Florence nodded. ‘Yes, please. I think it’ll be less frightening for everyone if you’re the one to go and tell Meadows and Harriet. They’re sensible and will know what’s best to say to the children.’
‘Fine, I’ll go immediately,’ Lily said, letting go of Florence’s hands and standing. ‘Shall I come straight back here, or would you rather I ask someone else to come and sit with you?’
Florence thought of her friends and it dawned on her that the only person other than Lily whom she would choose to be going through something this terrifying with her was her sister Amy. Unfortunately, Amy was in Jersey and she needed someone nearby.
‘No, I’d rather you came back to sit with me. If you don’t mind, that is?’ She took in her friend’s furrowed brow and tear-filled eyes and hated to think that she might be forcing Lily to spend time sitting in the hospital, a place that so many people were frightened to enter for fear they might never leave. Or was that only people who were admitted? she mused, aware that her mind was beginning to ramble in panic.
Florence took a deep breath to steady herself. ‘Please don’t feel that you have to return here though, Lily. I know how intimidating hospitals can be to some people.’
‘Not to me, they’re not,’ Lily insisted. ‘I’ll leave right now and find a cab and be back as soon as possible. I shouldn’t be too long.’ She reached down and gave Florence’s right hand a gentle pat. ‘Try to stay calm. Jesse’s tough and will do his best to fight whatever it is that’s made him ill today.’
Without a further word, Lily ran off along the corridor and out through the doors. Florence watched her go, wishing her friend didn’t have to leave her, but grateful to her for making sure that her senior household staff knew what had happened and could deal with the children’s needs accordingly.
A man in a white coat walked in her direction and it took a moment for Florence to register that he was a doctor and was making his way to speak to her.
‘Mrs Boot?’ Florence nodded and went to stand. ‘Please, no need to get up. I’m Doctor Jenkins and I’ve been looking at your husband. I’m afraid he’s very poorly at the moment. We’re not sure if he suffered a stroke, or if his collapse was due to something else entirely. I gather that he’s previously had a physical breakdown, is that correct?’
She couldn’t imagine how the doctor could know this and surmised that maybe Lily had given the information when they had first arrived and spoken to the sister who had greeted the ambulance.
‘Yes, that’s right. It was in ’85, but although his health has slowly declined, he’s been mostly well and rides each day, works long hours, that sort of thing.’
She couldn’t make out whether the look the doctor was giving her was one of regret at what he was about to tell her, or sadness for Jesse’s situation.
‘He is going to live, isn’t he?’ she asked, unable to bear the thought of hearing the worst answer.
‘We hope so. Everything is being done for your husband, Mrs Boot. We’ll know more in the morning, hopefully, but I think the best thing you can do is go home and try to get as much rest as possible. I was told that someone was waiting with you.’ He looked around as if expecting to see another person nearby.
‘Yes, my friend was here with me, Miss Buttons. She’s taken a cab back to my house to alert the servants, but she’ll be back shortly.’ Florence didn’t want to leave without seeing Jesse and reassuring herself that he was still alive. ‘May I see my husband before I leave?’
The doctor thought for a moment. ‘Briefly. For a minute, two at the most. Come, I’ll escort you myself.’
Florence went to stand, but her legs were so shaky that she immediately dropped back down in her seat. ‘I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.’
‘Take your time. There’s no rush.’ He took her hands in his and helped her to stand. ‘Do you think you can walk along the corridor to the end? He’s in a room not too far after those double doors.’
Florence insisted that she could and together they walked to the private room where Jesse lay, eyes still closed, on the hospital bed.
Florence went to his bedside and rested her hand on the right side of his face. ‘Is he sleeping –’ she cleared her throat ‘– or unconscious?’
‘He’s been given something to help him sleep.’
Florence stared at her darling husband, his pallor grey, and leant d
own to kiss his forehead. ‘Don’t leave me, Jesse,’ she whispered before kissing him again and turning to leave the room.
‘I’ll take you back to wait for your friend,’ the doctor said. ‘If you come here at around ten in the morning, we should know more then.’
They walked through the double doors back to the public corridor and Florence was relieved to see Lily waiting for her.
‘Thank you, Doctor Jenkins,’ she said. ‘My friend is here and will accompany me home. I’ll see you in the morning, as you suggest.’
Now she just had to wait for Jesse to recover.
***
Florence was unable to sleep. By the time dawn appeared, she was thoroughly exhausted and relieved when Harriet thought to bring a cup of tea to her room, together with some buttered toast topped with local honey.
‘Mrs Rudge insists that you drink this and eat the toast. She said you’ll need something in your stomach to face the day.’
Florence had little appetite, but knew her cook was right and forced herself to eat the breakfast. Jesse was the love of her life and she could barely cope with the notion that one day she might have to live without him next to her. He needed her to be strong. She wouldn’t be able to support Jesse, or the children, if she became ill. She needed to look after herself and this was a start.
An hour later, Florence was washed and dressed and had spoken to each of her children to reassure them that as soon as she knew anything about their father’s situation she would send word to them.
‘Can we come and see Father?’ John asked.
‘No, I’m afraid not. He needs his rest. Maybe soon though. I’ll have to wait for the doctor to give permission for you to visit.’
She left for the hospital, aware that if she wasn’t allowed to stay then, rather than returning home, she would go on to the office and see to anything that needed her attention. There would be Jesse’s rounds to be covered by one of his managers and also meetings of his that needed to be postponed.
Doctor Jenkins asked for Florence to be shown through to his office, where he told her the good news that Jesse’s condition had improved slightly overnight.
‘I’ve examined your husband this morning and spoken to him. We think he’s suffered another physical breakdown.’ Florence groaned; her pain at the thought of this happening to Jesse was physical. ‘I suspect,’ the doctor continued, ‘that this might have been brought on by overwork and his system being weaker due to the slow decline in his health.’
‘But you think he’ll be all right?’ she asked, willing the doctor to reassure her that Jesse would be returning home with her at some point.
‘I believe so. I’m afraid he’ll have to spend time recuperating though, and probably for several months. It will mean a change to his usual work routine. First, though, we need to get him to that point. We have a way to go before thinking along those lines yet.’
She focused on the thought that Jesse would be home again soon. At least, he would if she had her way about it. Thankfully they could afford to hire a nurse, should he need it. It occurred to Florence that she would need to watch over Jesse when he was back with her at St Heliers. She didn’t like to think how he would take to reducing his working hours. Jesse had never taken things easy. Even after his first breakdown when he had come to Jersey, he still took her out most days. She knew well enough that Jesse was hopeless at taking instruction from anyone else, even a doctor.
‘My husband isn’t very good at doing what he’s told when it comes to slowing down,’ she admitted.
The doctor rested his elbows on his desk and clasped his hands together. ‘I’m afraid that if your husband doesn’t follow my suggestions, his health will continue to decline but more rapidly than he’s experienced so far. This collapse has been brought on by the strain he’s put on his already weakened body. It can’t be taken seriously enough.’
Florence promised to do her best to make sure Jesse did as he was told, but knew that it was going to be a battle. They still had to deal with their opposing thoughts on John’s education. She pushed that issue aside. Now wasn’t the time to focus on that particular problem. This was a matter of Jesse’s life and she wasn’t ready to allow him to damage his health further.
‘May I visit my husband now, please?’
‘Of course you can, Mrs Boot. I just wanted to let you know how things stood. You’ll need to watch your husband when he’s out of his doctor’s sight.’ He smiled. ‘Don’t worry, I know that there’s only so much you’ll be able to do to persuade him slow down, but if I or your personal physician can’t be around, then you need to be the one to control his daily movements.’
The doctor walked her to Jesse’s door. ‘He’s in here. I’ll leave you to speak to him privately.’
Florence thanked him and entered Jesse’s hospital room, barely able to breathe. She was nervous to see him, frightened that he might appear worse than he had the previous day at the store. Her eyes widened to find him propped up on several pillows. He looked sullen, which didn’t surprise her, although he brightened when he noticed she was standing by the door.
‘You’re looking much better,’ she said, relieved to note that his skin tone now had a pink tinge to it. She went to the side of his bed and bent over to kiss him. Then, taking a seat next to his bed, reached out and took his left hand in hers. ‘You gave me a terrible fright yesterday, Jesse.’
‘I know, my darling. I think I gave myself rather a shock, too.’ He gave her a half smile. ‘Has Doctor Jenkins spoken to you about me? I presume he has.’
‘Yes. He said …’
Jesse closed his eyes for a moment, irritated, as she knew he would be, by being told to slow down. ‘I know what he’ll have said. He told me the same thing, and I know you’re going to be even more vigilant about me working than you were before. Aren’t you?’
Florence inclined her head and smiled. ‘What do you think?’
Jesse groaned. ‘I thought as much. But I still have to continue working, Florence.’
She noted the determined tone in his voice. She knew that Jesse needed to work. He had never known anything else and to expect him to stop entirely was fruitless.
‘I know. First, though, you must rest and get well. I’ll spend time with you each day and then go to the office. I know the business well enough to see to anything that requires your attention.’
‘You can bring it home to me.’
Florence didn’t argue, not wishing to upset him. ‘We’ll take each item of work as it comes in and I can discuss what you want doing, if you like. Will that suit you?’
‘Not really, but I have a feeling it’s the most I can hope for.’
‘You’re right. Now, the first thing we need to work out is how we’re going to make sure you get better.’
Chapter 18
June 1901
The two months since Doctor Jenkins had agreed to discharge Jesse to Florence’s care had been easier for both of them. Jesse’s mood lifted as soon as he was allowed to leave the hospital after Florence assured the doctor that she would take on a day nurse and a night nurse to oversee all Jesse’s needs until such time as he was well again. The weeks had seen a mixture of moods. On occasion, Jesse had been happy recuperating at St Heliers, but he sometimes found it impossible to hide his frustration at not being allowed to work from his office over the Pelham Street store.
Now though, as Jesse started to feel better, he was becoming more irritated at still spending his days at home. Florence knew he was used to a lifetime of being busy and it wasn’t natural for him to take things easy. It was becoming more strained between them as Florence tackled the tricky subject of him still having to wait until the doctor gave him permission to start back at work on a part-time basis. All she had to do was continue to persuade Jesse that taking things easy and allowing his body the time to recover were the quickest way for him to be allowed to return to work.
Despite his frustration, Florence refused to give in and insisted that h
e follow Doctor Jenkins’s orders.
‘This sitting around all day is infuriating,’ Jesse shouted, his face puce from temper. ‘If you don’t want a madman living in this house then I’m going to have to return to work, and sooner rather than later.’
Florence hated seeing him restricted to the house; she had been working longer hours than usual to cover Jesse’s work as well as her own. She longed to return to her usual working times and wished there was some way she could help speed up Jesse’s recovery. But there wasn’t. The doctor had given them his orders, repeatedly. ‘Jesse, the doctor specifically said you were to have at least another month’s rest at home.’ It took all her effort to keep her voice level and not let her irritation with his constant demands show.
Jesse slammed his hand down on the table next to his chair. ‘Then he’s a fool.’
‘We both know that’s not the case.’ Florence knew she was fighting a losing battle. Jesse was not a man to be held back from doing what he wanted. For now, though, she would do all she could to keep him resting at home, even if his temper was becoming intolerable. ‘Look,’ she said, spotting Lily walking up the driveway, a heavy bag in her hand. ‘Here’s Lily now bringing you some paperwork. Isn’t that kind of her?’
‘It is,’ Jesse agreed grumpily.
‘I’ll bring it into you, so that you can work on it and I’ll take tea with Lily in the conservatory.’
Florence had seen Lily a couple of times at the Pelham Street store and had invited her to the house to have tea with her and a catch-up.
‘Miss Lily Buttons,’ Meadows said moments later, announcing her arrival.
‘Thank you, Meadows. Please arrange for tea to be served in the conservatory and bring some for Mr Boot in here. He has work to do.’
Florence stood and beamed at her friend. ‘It’s very good of you to come by today. Thank you.’
Lily walked over to Florence and gave her a hug.
Jesse waved at her and smiled. ‘It’s very good of you to bring this paperwork to the house for me. I appreciate you doing so.’