My arm wasn’t doing me any favors in what was turning out to be a distance run through the woods. He was a little faster than me, but only because he wasn’t handicapped the way I was, but just a small advantage was all he needed to stay just ahead of me and out of reach.
We reached a small clearing, an open meadow where the trees cleared and a field of tall grass stretched before us.
Finally, I could gain some traction. I was within inches of him, my arm reaching out to grab him, when my foot hit a rock on the ground. I couldn’t see it through the tall grass. My body flailed through the air, landing in the grass with a huge, resounding thud.
My arm screamed in pain as I landed directly on the cast. The man disappeared through the grass and I lay panting and gasping for breath through the pain, defeated and broken, the sorriest excuse for a man that ever lived.
☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼
Doc worked on Oliver all night long. Methodically and gently, he placed him in a small box so he wouldn’t thrash around, and he called a friend, an old army buddy that just happened to run a wildlife rescue. Chet was older than Doc, but thinner and taller, but just as gentle.
He knew exactly what to do to help Oliver, and after spending a few hours with him at the clubhouse and stabilizing him, he took him to his sanctuary for him to heal and rehabilitate.
Oliver was so good, barely making a sound through it all, watching Doc the whole time with such trusting and calm eyes.
It was heart wrenching.
And it was all my fault.
“If I had never made that phone call to you!” I wailed to Slade later, when we were alone in his room. He had taken twice the amount of painkillers he was allowed, and he refused to go back to the hospital to get his arm checked out. He was a little groggy, which was good, because his anger was finally fading a little. He had been like a rage-filled monster after everything went down. I couldn’t talk to him, I could hardly look at him.
“If I hadn’t called you, none of this would have happened!” I continued. “Look at you, Slade! Look what I’ve done! I’ve disrupted your life, I’ve caused you to get hurt, I’ve caused that sweet owl to get hurt!”
“Stop it, Diana!” he said, his explosive demeanor from earlier replaced by a drug-induced calm. “You don’t know that the guy in the woods was here because of you.”
“No, but how often do you get people sniffing around down here? Someone is following me, someone wants to get near me. They proved that with the fucking snake!”
“Not often, that’s true, but you know what? It doesn’t fucking matter, baby. None of it, it just doesn’t.”
“How can you say that, Slade? I’ve changed your life, I’ve changed Oliver’s life…if he even survives!”
“Look, babe. What I mean is…hell, we’re all gonna end up with broken wings eventually anyway. The ‘when’ doesn’t matter.”
“What are you talking about?”
His eyes darkened, and his grin faded.
“I look at it like this. Every creature is born with wings. And every creature learns how to use them. Sometimes, the world, or if you’re lucky, your parents, show you how to use them to fly high, to reach unimaginable heights. Or, they can break ‘em. They can either encourage you, love you, teach you how to get up and fly again when you crash, because you’re always gonna crash…or they can beat you down, insult you, neglect you, make you feel like a burden, a worthless piece of shit…until you forget you even had the ability to fly in the first place.”
“And you, Slade?” I asked, beginning to understand him a little better after all. “Were you broken?”
“Yeah, beauty, they got smashed pretty good.”
I nodded.
“But you learned to fly again.”
“Yeah, I did. And I can do it again, too. And I will. And so will Oliver, you can bet your sweet ass on that. He’s a tough bird, he’s going to be just fine.”
Slade reached out and pulled me into his arms, his lips gently brushing mine.
“So let’s make a deal, alright?”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“No more blaming yourself.”
“That’s not going to be easy,” I replied.
“No, but just promise me you’ll try?”
“I promise,” I sighed. I laid my head on his chest, and fell asleep within minutes to the steady sound of his heart beat.
☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you just end up fucking up.
I had to accept this. I was humiliated. Someone had gotten close to Diana twice on my watch, and I still hadn’t caught the fucker.
Whatever was going on, it was clear to me the situation was seriously escalating. For someone to be that close to the clubhouse, they had to have followed us. And what had they seen? Had they seen me and Diana fucking in the woods? Was it the same asshole that had left the snake in her apartment? And had that person seen us fucking, too?
Was this prick getting his rocks off watching us?
I wanted to rip his head off. I was beyond furious, I was enraged.
After bringing Oliver to Doc and making sure he and Diana both were okay, I decided to wait till morning to talk to the rest of the Gods. As far as I was concerned, it was time to come up with a plan to put this shit to rest once and for all.
I wasn’t about to just hang around and be a fucking sitting duck for some asshole who thought he could fuck with me. That wasn’t my style.
When Diana finally fell asleep on my chest, I was just beginning to calm down. Her soft hair on my skin, the gentle rise and fall of her breasts as she slept, the incredible smell of her hair pressed against my face, relaxed me in a way I didn’t know was possible.
It was like she was some magic elixir and I couldn’t get enough of her healing powers. She calmed me. She slowed my breathing down, stopped my heart from the usual violent racing, and quieted my soul in a way I had never experienced.
How I found the patience to handle this chaos with such peacefulness was beyond me, but I knew it mostly had to do with Diana’s presence in my life.
I fell asleep with her in my arms, praying to a God I didn’t believe in to let me keep her.
***
The next morning, Riot, Ryder and I scoured the woods for any clue of our visitor. We found tire tracks that didn’t tell us much of anything.
When we revisited the site of the struggle with Oliver, we hit paydirt. Amongst all the bloody feathers strewn about, we found a wallet.
When Riot opened it and showed me the ID, I knew exactly who it was. The familiar face, seen hundreds of times, made me take a step back.
“Well, I’ll be a sonfofabitch!” Ryder said.
☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼
“Faith first,” the man muttered, as he stuck his hand in the hissing bucket. “Faith first, and then good works!”
He pulled a snake out, holding it behind its head. He showed it to the girls, the sinners.
“You have to have faith first, don’t you understand?” he shouted. They looked at him with fear, but he knew that was only because they didn’t believe. “If you don’t have faith, you can’t do the real work!”
He had been trying for weeks now. Trying to convert them, convince them that he spoke the truth. He showed them the good book, he read to them, all of Mark 16. Three times! But still they looked at him blankly. Like he was the crazy one, like he was the sinner.
He was their savior, and they couldn’t even see that!
“If you believe in the literal interpretation of Mark 16, if you believe it all, every single word, as the gospel, then you stand a chance of salvation! True salvation, don’t you see?”
He held the snake out in front of their faces, the terror shining brightly in their eyes.
Let them cry, he thought. Let them suffer. They deserve it, they deserve it all. Until they repent, they deserve no mercy.
“Repent, repent…” he repeated, over and over, as he slid the slithering sn
ake over their chained-up, naked, shivering bodies.
☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼
“I’m coming back soon, Tony.”
“What are you talking about? You just went on leave. Take some time, you need it.” His loud voice made my phone crackle, and I held it far away from my ear.
“What I need is to get my work done. I’m in the middle of this story,” I replied, hearing the desperation in my own voice. The clubhouse, the forest, Slade…all of it was beautiful, but something about being driven from my own home by a madman was making me feel rebellious.
“Wyatt is covering that story now,” Tony replied. No shit, I thought.
Slade had returned this morning from the woods with Wyatt’s wallet in hand. At first, I was shocked, then reality struck. Of course he would follow me. He thought I had a lead on the missing girls. He thought that was why I took leave. He knew I’d never go voluntarily, as he had tried to suggest himself so many times. He was right.
However, it pissed me off to no end that he had followed me, that he had no doubt seen Slade and I fucking in the woods. If he thought he had the upper hand, because he got away, he was wrong.
I was coming back.
Of course, I had yet to discuss this with Slade, and I didn’t know how I was going to approach the subject. I knew he’d never agree to me going back. I knew, in the back of my mind, that I’d have to leave on my own, sneak out when he wasn’t looking. I hated to do that to him, but I could see no other way.
I needed to confront Wyatt on my own, stand across from him, and tell him that I wasn’t afraid of him, tell him to back the fuck off. I had worked for years at this job, and I wasn’t about to let some pansy asshole come and take it all away from me.
And, then, after the story was over, maybe I’d come back. For visits, every now and then. There had to be a way to keep Slade in my life, if only casually.
☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼
“So, Wyatt Williams is Diana’s coworker. You’ve probably seen him on the news.”
Riot, Ryder and Grace nodded. We were sitting around the table in the clubhouse while I filled them in.
“He and Diana are fierce competitors. She believes he mistakingly thought she had a lead on the missing girls, and that’s why he followed her. It all adds up to me, too. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to kick his fucking face in for watching us and hurting Oliver, but it can wait. Right now, I want to focus on keeping Diana safe.”
“I don’t know if it adds up for me, though, Slade,” Ryder said. “Why assume he meant no harm?”
“Diana says she knows him well. Says he wouldn’t hurt a fly, that he’s a weak, sad man. I believe her.”
“Alright then. Just keep your eyes open.”
“Of course,” I replied. I intended on being vigilant when it came to Diana.
“Diana also wanted me to talk to you guys about her sister, and the other missing girls. Evie, Diana’s sister, only came into her life about a month ago. Until then, Diana didn’t know she existed. Diana’s parents have both died, and apparently her father had this secret child. So, Diana barely knows her. The police aren’t telling her anything. However, she does have some secret source that told her that the kidnapper keeps leaving a calling card at the scene - a live rattlesnake.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“Well, that’s a good question. All three of the missing girls are young, pretty girls. We were wondering if you might have heard anything relating to snakes during your work with Solid Ground.”
“Well, of course, there was the whole thing with that group of pricks Grace uncovered, her partner at the force and the whole group of them had snakes tattooed on their legs. We never did find out what the snakes symbolized, other than them being complete fucking snakes themselves,” Ryder said.
“Yes, I remembered that. But they didn’t leave calling cards,” I replied.
“I’ll make a few phone calls,” Grace said. “If I dig, I bet I can see if there’s any new info coming out of the precinct on these girls.”
“Thanks, Grace,” I said.
“My pleasure, Slade,” she replied. “How’s your arm? You took a pretty big fall yesterday.”
“I’m fine, it’s nothing,” I replied. Truth was, the fucker hurt like hell, but I was barreling through it.
“Don’t look like nothing,” Riot said. “Have Doc look at it again.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I said. “Thanks again for everything, you guys.”
☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼ ☼
When I got off the phone with Tony, I was a nervous wreck. Slade was still in a meeting with the Gods and Grace, and I decided to go for a walk to clear my head.
How was I going to tell Slade I was leaving? I knew it was going to end up in an argument and the last thing I wanted to do was argue with him. I didn’t want to worry him either. But damn, if I’m not a grown woman and I should be able to do whatever I want.
It’s not like I even hired him to take the whole protection thing this far. I wanted him to accompany me one night, and because of that, here I am, smack dab in the middle of a complicated mess that I had no idea how to get out of.
I know he’s just being caring, and yeah, I know someone left a snake in my house, but if I hadn’t left the door unlocked because I was so distracted with Slade, that never would have happened. I would have locked up and set the alarm before I went to bed.
In a way, Slade made me rely on my own instincts less. I let my guard down when he’s around, and that alone is putting me at risk.
Sure, he’s crazy hot. He sets my body on fire and sends my heart soaring, but I can’t let all of that get in the way of my career. A man like Slade didn’t stick around for long. He would grow tired of me soon, whether I wanted him to or not, and then he would be gone.
I couldn’t risk everything I had worked all my life for on a short-lived affair. No matter how amazing it was.
Yeah, so I was yo-yoing. One minute, I wanted to figure out how to make it work with Slade, and the next I was already out the door. It was just knowing that Wyatt had followed me here had sparked something in me. My competitiveness was back, and damned if I was going to let him win.
Screw Wyatt.
Everything that had happened so far was all my fault. If I had just had the balls to refrain from calling Slade that night, none of this would have happened. And that’s what I needed right now. Balls. Big ones.
I had them, too. They just needed a little dusting off.
I was halfway to the creek, looking out for Olivia along the way, when I heard a big rustling behind me. My heart leapt in my throat. I turned to see Slade barreling through the woods towards me.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. His face was gaunt and full of pure terror, his eyes wild and savage as he thundered past the trees.
“You’re here!” he shouted, although he was now only twenty feet away from me.
“Well, yeah, I was going for a walk…looking for Olivia, actually.”
He closed the distance between us quickly, his free hand grabbing my arm tightly.
“Slade! What’s wrong?” He took a deep breath and shook his head.
“I thought something had happened to you! You scared the fuck out of me!” he said, his eyes filled with anger. “Don’t ever leave like that again!”
Something about the way he said it, and the thoughts I had just been having, and my plan to leave lingering in my head…it just rubbed me wrong.
“Look, Slade!” I said, shaking off his grip. “I’m not your property! I’m a grown woman!” I felt like a child throwing a tantrum and stamping my feet, though. “I have a job to do. I have a life that doesn’t involve you.”
He winced, so slightly that it was almost indiscernible, and then he squinted, his jaw twitched and his lips pressed together in a stubborn grimace.
“Yeah, we’ve gone over this already, Diana. I know I don’t fucking own you, for fuck’s sake!” he exploded.
“Well then stop talking like yo
u do!” I replied, raising my voice more than I meant to. I got so fucking emotional around this man, I felt so out of control, and it scared me. I was a control freak to the very core, and feeling like this went against every cell in my body.
The problem seemed to be that he was too.
“What do you want me to do? Act like nothing happened between us? Just let you wander off into the world, when there’s some fuck out there just waiting to get you alone?”
“What happened?” I asked, my voice quiet and low now. What had happened? We had gone from me asking for a small favor to these complicated roles of victim and protector. Is that what sex does?
“What do you mean what happened?” he asked.
“You asked if I thought you should pretend nothing happened. What happened?”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Diana!” His jaw twitched again as he looked at me, but the anger had faded. “Do you need me to spell it out for you?”
“Yeah, maybe I do.” I didn’t know why I was pressing the issue. I should have just told him I was leaving, let him be pissed, and let that be the end of it. Instead, I couldn’t resist digging in.
“Us, babe. We happened. I don’t know why, or how, or what any of it means. I don’t know what the future holds.” He reached down and grabbed my chin, grabbed my gaze and wouldn’t let go. “All I know is that I would die if something happened to you. All I know is that I want to spend every fucking moment with you, just to see your smile, and the way your eyes light up when you look at me. Nobody looks at me like that. You look at me like I’m a person, like I’m your equal. Not just a pretty face with a hard cock, or someone to do a dirty job that nobody else wants to do. Not a misfit, not a freak.”
BROKEN WINGS: GODS OF CHAOS MC (BOOK THREE) Page 12