by Alexia Adams
The song came to an end, and Anna raised her gaze from the children to meet his eyes. The radiance and joy on her face pulled an answering smile from him. She looked so happy. The ‘why not’ voice got louder.
“That song is amazing,” he said. “It’s sure to be a chart-topper.”
She put down her guitar, rose elegantly to her feet, and strolled over to him. “Wait until you hear the one about the Porsche that thinks it’s better than everyone else, and then a Mercedes comes along and smokes it.” She put finger quotes around the last two words. Her eyes sparkled with laughter, her skin glowed from fresh air and sunshine, and her full lips enticed him to taste her sweetness.
“I so want to kiss you right now,” he said, sotto voce so the children, who were now playing a game of tag, didn’t hear.
“I so want to be kissed by you right now,” she replied. Anna placed her hand on his chest and slid it up to his shoulder. Before their mouths could connect, Miranda stood beside them and tugged on his shirt.
“I thought you weren’t going to get married. You sure look like you want to get married. Hey, Tio Eduardo, if you married Anna, would that make her my tia? How cool would that be? Except could I tell my friends at the park that Angel is my aunt? Or would I have to keep that a secret too?”
Anna dropped her forehead to his shoulder and started to laugh. “I don’t think I could ever say that many words without taking a breath.” She made no comment on the substance of Miranda’s statement.
Eduardo held back a sigh. “Miranda, you are a terrible matchmaker. You have to let the adults sort themselves out. Now, on to more important things. Did you bring me anything from France? I seem to recall you promised me a chocolate croissant.”
“I did pack a chocolate croissant for you. Did you know the French people call them pain au chocolat, but there’s no pain at all? Unless you eat too many, which I did once. Anyway, on the plane ride here, Max’s aunt Maya got hungry, and they’re her favorites. And then Max got hungry, and basically they all got eaten before we landed. But I’ll be sure to bring you some when we go back for Tio Daniel’s wedding.”
Anyone who heard her now would never believe that following the tragic death of her parents, Miranda had been mute until Vivi had worked her child-caring magic.
While Miranda was spinning her sad tale of the demise of his chocolate croissants, Anna moved out of his arms and picked up her guitar once more. Another echo from the past slammed into him. She’d rarely been without her guitar when they’d dated as teens. How many times had he kissed her with the stupid thing on her back, hindering his attempts to unhook her bra?
“Where are my backup dancers?” she called. “Let’s put on a rehearsal so we’re ready for our big show tonight. Eduardo, you can be our audience.”
She tossed the blanket at him, and the three children organized themselves around her with Timo, the smallest, in front and Max and Miranda on either side.
Anna strummed her guitar a few times, and the children swayed their hips from side to side. Timo kept his eyes on Miranda so he could follow her lead. Then Anna started to sing. Her voice, strong and smooth, even made the silly song sound ethereal.
He tried to keep his eyes off her and concentrate on the children and their movements, which were downright hysterical. Miranda had obviously been in charge of choreography. Princess twirls and curtsies formed the backbone of the routine, not really in keeping with a ditty about cars.
The third song left the vehicular sphere and entered the world of heartbreak. The boys sat down but Miranda kept dancing, her little body swaying with the haunting melody. Each pick of the guitar strings felt like she was plucking the notes from his heart.
“This is my latest,” Anna said, not quite meeting his eyes. “I’m calling it ‘Afraid to Love Again.’”
I stand here on a precipice
Two choices for me remain
To love you or to walk away
Can I bear to do this again?
But then, oh, I remember the joy
Of being in your arms
And oh God, I can’t deny
I’m so tempted by you, boy
I’m afraid to love you again
Dare I gamble my heart anew?
’Cause this time I know if we break
My heart will never recover
More than that … what scares me the most
Am I even enough for you now?
You dangle love before my eyes
Make me wish for all that we had
But it took me years to even repair
A heart that was hurt so bad
But then, oh, I remember the bliss
Of the way you held me so close
And oh God, I can’t deny
I am longing for your kiss
I’m afraid to love you again
Dare I gamble my heart anew?
’Cause this time I know if we break
My heart will never recover
More than that … what scares me the most
Am I even enough for you now?
So here I stand before you
Wanting so hard to believe
That everything we once gave up
We could again achieve
But then, oh, I remember the pull
To spend each day with you
And oh God, I can’t deny
How you made my life so full
I’m afraid to love you again
Dare I gamble my heart anew?
’Cause this time I know if we break
My heart will never recover
More than that … what scares me the most
Am I even enough for you now?
More than that … what scares me the most
Am I even enough for you now?
He ached to pull Anna into his arms and reassure her of his love.
And if that didn’t prove how much of a fool he was, he didn’t know what would.
Chapter Ten
Anna’s heart beat furiously as the last chords of her newest song hung in the air.
Her eyes met his over the top of Miranda’s head as the little girl dozed in Eduardo’s lap having stopped dancing before the start of the last song. The two boys had likewise fallen asleep on the blanket beside him.
“Is it too late?” she asked, her voice raw, but not from singing.
He didn’t pretend to misunderstand her question. “I don’t know. I can’t see a way forward. All we may have is here and now.” He spoke low. So as not to wake the children? Or was his throat clogged with longing as well?
“I’ll take the here and now. And work towards a future.” There, she’d said it. She was willing to risk her heart again. Was he?
He nodded his head at the children. “We’ll talk more tonight.”
She swung her guitar to her back and kneeled next to Eduardo. She intended to pick up a sleeping Timo and carry him inside. Instead, she drowned in the depths of Eduardo’s eyes. “Only talk?”
A fire blazed in the chocolaty richness, but his words were steady. “We’ll also talk about not just talking.”
Eduardo glanced to the right and she followed his gaze. Tiago and Vivi approached, arm in arm.
“Well done, Anna. You got them all to sleep,” Tiago said. “If the singing thing doesn’t work out for you, consider a career in child care.”
“I may have to do that,” she replied, “if my songs are that boring.”
“More likely the long flight and time change are catching up with them,” Vivi said.
Tiago took Miranda from Eduardo, who picked up Max. The little boy, whose hair color was so similar to Eduardo’s they could be father and son, snuggled into his chest and exhaled a sigh.
Vivi reached for Timo, but Anna put her hand out to stop her. She needed this connection.
“I’ve got him,” Anna said. Timo was a lot heavier asleep than awake, but when he, too, snuggled into her arms, any muscle strain was worth it. This was what she’d given up for her career.
It didn’t seem worth it. She’d proven herself. She’d been a success. So what if her career was on the wane? Maybe now was the perfect time to find some other joy in life. She could probably get out of her recording contract; other artists did it all the time.
Except then she’d be coming at this life change from a point of weakness, not strength. Eduardo deserved to be more than her backup plan. He had to be her first choice, not her only choice.
Vivi grabbed the blanket and the children’s empty juice boxes and followed behind.
“Drinks on the terrace in ten minutes,” Tiago said before they all went in different directions to deposit their precious bundles.
Raul raced forward as Anna navigated down the hall towards his room. From the dampness of his clothes, he’d been washing something. As far as she’d seen, the man hadn’t sat down once since he’d been here. She halted the gratitude on his lips with a smile.
“No need to thank me. We all love spending time with Timo. He’s no trouble. You should be happy so many people want to care for him. We all get a chance to bask in his bubbly personality. Just show me where I can put him down.”
Raul opened a door and she strode into the room. A small bed had been placed against a wall in the corner, and she gently laid Timo there.
After pulling the blanket at the base of the bed up over the little guy’s shoulders, she dropped a kiss on his forehead. Her breath caught in her throat. Would she ever get to tuck in a child of her own? Dios, she was becoming maudlin. She needed to keep busy. All this domesticity was making her second-guess her decision to put her career first.
Or was it anticipation for tonight with Eduardo that made her restless?
She freshened up and joined the others on the terrace. Jacques and Tiago were drinking red wine, comparing the various notes they could taste.
“Welcome, Anna. What can I get you to drink?” Tiago asked when he spotted her hovering in the doorway.
“Just a glass of water. My throat is dry from singing all afternoon.” She accepted the glass and sat on the chair nearest the sofa, where Maya and Vivi lounged. Eduardo was nowhere to be seen.
“I heard your new songs,” Maya said. “Jacques and I were sitting on the balcony when you began your rehearsal concert. May I be the first to say they were amazing? I was in tears through all of them. Even the one about the bragging car. I’m such a watering pot these days.”
“I was crying too,” Vivi added. “Not during the car ones; those made me laugh. But the one about the hurricane heart really touched me. My brother had an addiction to drugs, and although we loved him, he left devastation in his wake. Yet somehow, after listening to your song, I felt better. I know he didn’t mean to hurt us, but at the time it was hard to see him self-destruct and not take it as a personal rejection of our love.”
And this is why she sang, so others could process their own emotions. “If you all heard me earlier, then there’s no need for a concert after dinner.”
“Yes, there is,” Maya said. “I want to hear them again. We all do. Right, Eduardo?”
“Yes, of course,” he answered, although whether he knew what he was agreeing to or not was another question. He’d moved to join the men, but rather than a glass of wine, he, too, held a tumbler of water. He’d changed out of his jeans and polo shirt into black dress pants and a charcoal gray button-down. His dark hair was still damp and a little curly at the back. Her fingers tightened on the glass she held.
Would he make love to her tonight? Or find some excuse to put her off?
He caught her staring and excused himself from the other men to join her. He perched his incredible backside on the side of her chair and put his arm along the back. It wasn’t quite an embrace, but it still signaled that they were a couple. Warmth filled her, and she leaned into his side.
“They want me to sing again,” she said softly. Vivi and Maya had embarked on a conversation about pregnancy, and Tiago and Jacques were still analyzing wine on the other side of the terrace.
“The children will be disappointed if they don’t get to perform before a larger audience,” he said at last.
“Provided they wake up.”
That faint hope of reprieve died when Miranda arrived a couple of minutes later, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Max followed in her wake. But unlike the barely awake girl, he bounded onto the terrace like a consummate showman about to begin a performance. He made a beeline for Eduardo.
“Uncle Eduardo, what car do you drive?” Max asked.
“I had a BMW 6 Series Gran Turismo, but it was wrecked last week. I’m in the market for a new vehicle. What do you suggest?”
Max tilted his head and announced, “A Pagani Zonda.”
“A Zonda? That’s a little out of my league. And not really practical for city driving.”
Max shrugged. Practicality was something only grownups worried about.
“He wants you to get that car because he doesn’t know anyone who owns one,” Jacques said. “And he’s hoping you’ll give him a ride.”
Jacques and Tiago seemed to have finished their vintner discussion and now joined the rest of them. Jacques’s fingers massaged the back of Maya’s neck. She leaned into his touch like a cat being stroked. Tiago had, similar to Eduardo, perched on the arm of the chair nearest Vivi, and he caressed her shoulders.
How could she sing of lost love to these people who had it by the bucketload?
“Then you should get a Mercedes,” Max said, pulling everyone’s attention back to him. “My new daddy drives a Mercedes—a super duper fast one.”
Eduardo smiled. “Then it must be the best car ever. I will definitely consider one of those.”
The conversation turned away from vehicles to what Miranda had seen in France and what she liked the best. Which basically was the “mega cool house with hundreds of rooms” and Maya’s dog Princess, who’d recently had a litter of puppies.
Anna let the conversation swirl around her. It was nice not to be the center of attention. She spent most of her time in LA being fawned over while she attempted to stay in character. She was an actress in a never-ending role. How had she not seen that until just now?
“Are you okay?” Eduardo whispered into her ear.
She smiled up at him. “I’m getting there.”
“I knew you would.” His sexy smile warmed her from the inside.
Maya’s question, “Anna, when’s your next album coming out?” brought her attention back to the rest of the group.
“Soon, I hope. It’s already a month late. But my record label has cut me some slack with all that’s been happening in my life recently. Which is a good thing, because until a week ago, I had only two new songs written. Lately, though, I’ve been inspired. So hopefully I’ll have something out before the end of the year.”
Eduardo stiffened beside her. How ironic that the songs he’d sparked would be what took her away from him again.
That was a problem for another day. As he’d said earlier, they had the here and now. And she was going to enjoy every last second.
***
Eduardo leaned back in his chair. Dinner had been blissfully quick. Miranda had asked earlier if she and Max could eat in the kitchen with Timo so they could go over their dance routine a couple more times. Evidently, she’d had a rethink on the choreography and wanted to teach the boys a couple of new moves.
He had tried to convince Raul and Timo that they were welcome to join the group in the dining room. But his friend had insisted they were more comfortable in the kitchen. And as neither of them spoke English, which was the lingua franca now that Jacques and Maya had arrived, it would make it awkward for someone to have to translate conversations so they could feel included.
So it was just the adults. But for a reason no one wanted to explain, they were anxious to rejoin the children rather than revel in their ability to eat dinner without having to cut someone’s meat or remind someone to eat their green beans.
They chatted about the next day’s a
ctivities. Jacques and Tiago were heading off to see Jacques’s vineyard in Chile but would be back before evening. Maya and Vivi planned to spend the time relaxing by the pool.
Anna fidgeted in her seat beside him.
He leaned close, taking a moment to inhale her spicy vanilla scent. “You don’t have to perform if you don’t want. Say your throat is sore.”
She smiled at him. “No, it’s okay. As you said, the children will be disappointed. Ignore me. I’m always like this before a performance.”
“You never used to be. You loved an audience. That was one of the things that made you great. People could tell you genuinely wanted to sing for them.”
“I still do. It’s just there are so many more expectations of me these days. It’s hard to live up to the ideal with every performance.”
“Well, you don’t have to worry about that with this group. Just be yourself. Be Anna. Besides, most eyes will be on the kids dancing.”
“If you say so. Still…” She stood, not waiting for the dessert course. “If you will all please excuse me, I’d like to prepare.”
“Yes, of course,” Maya replied. “If it’s too much—”
“No. I’d like to sing for you and get some audience reaction to my new songs.”
“See you in a bit, then,” Vivi said.
He caught Anna’s hand as she pushed in her chair. “Do you need any help?”
Finally, a genuine smile. “No. I can dress myself. I won’t be long.”
It was odd how those few minutes felt like an eternity. He gazed around the table at the other couples. The love in the room was thick enough to choke a hippopotamus. A trickle of unease crept down his spine. This time next year, would he still be on the outside looking in, envying the others’ loving families?