by SA Payne
hurdle? Was Rye not just as much a creature of his past as Will?
Ichi leaned forward and brushed his lips across Rye's. The kiss was soft, quick and chaste. "Don't be silly, I'm selfish, too."
The look that darted across Rye's face was such broken desperation that Ichi had to look away.
That meant he missed seeing the hand that snaked out and caught his arm, pulling him easily
onto the bed and into Rye's arms. One of Rye's hands came up to cradle the back of his head
and the other wrapped around his body. The hug was tight and nearly crushing but Ichi tucked
his face against Rye's neck and didn't complain.
"I know I never did anything to deserve you."
Ichi held still and Rye's unsteady breath tickled the side of his neck. The hug loosened enough to
let him breath but he was unwilling to pull away. The hand ruffling across his hair was skilled
enough and strong enough to just as easily snap his neck. The body he was resting against the
tense, graceful and deadly. The idea that so much chaos, so much of everything he'd been told
was wrong and anti-social, was bound in the man against him should have repulsed him. Instead,
it drew him like a moth to an open fire and Ichi happily risked the flames.
"Conti used to fuck me, before he made me into a pet." Rye whispered against Ichi's dark hair.
"He found out what Mica and I were doing, beat us, ordered me to kill him and I did. He died in a pool of his own blood, eyes open, watching while Conti took me over his desk. Afterwards, he
made me dispose of his body and clean up his blood."
Ichi pulled against the arms holding him and leaned away enough to look at Rye. "I'm sorry.
That's why you've been so worried about letting me care for you."
He nodded. "I didn't know, didn't remember but it wasn't totally lost. I kept seeing you in his place. He died because he loved me, I killed him." Rye closed his eyes and drew a long slow
breath. "He wanted out, used to talk about being free. Mica never cared about how, he just
wanted out. The only way out was to die, he just knelt and let me do it."
Ichi didn't try to say anything comforting, there were words for that. He just sat and listened.
"After I killed Mica, I started to understand what he meant. I started putting money aside,
identities aside, in secure accounts on a dozen different worlds. Things Conti didn't know about,
that no one knew about. I didn't plan on getting out, it just, it kept me from going crazy. I kept
saying I was doing it to get Mica out, he used to say he had an uncle, a family. I thought, maybe I could find them, tell them about him. I don't know, it just made things easier." The words felt stale and flat but he needed Ichi to know.
"Is that why Conti did this to you?"
He shook his head. "As far as I know he never found out about the accounts, or Mica's uncle. I was sent on an assignment to kill a target and anyone else that might witness his death. The
target was a seven year old boy, the location was a public transport. I sat next to that child for
two hours, he talked to me, to other people. He was so full of life and hope, he was so innocent. I couldn't do it. I just, I couldn't do it."
"Understandably so."
"No! I've killed more children then I can remember, this boy was no different. I just couldn't do it."
"You were what was different."
Rye nodded. "I just, I really saw what a monster I was. I got off at the next stop and let the boy go. I should have run, taken the hidden accounts and id's and disappeared but I couldn't. I, Ichi,
Conti was all I had. I couldn't go, I..."
"Shhh, I think I understand."
"I went back thinking he would kill me. Told him I didn't want to be a monster anymore. He beat me and, well, eventually had me turned into this." He glanced to his hands. "He should have killed me but he didn't. Ichi, he made me into a toy because of Mica. He never forgave me for
enjoying Mica's touch but not his."
"So he made it so you'd have to enjoy his." The horror of the truth settled like lead at the bottom of Ichi's stomach.
"He let clients use me, people I'd worked jobs for, who knew what I had been. Yet he didn't kill me. Ichi, he should have killed me when he disposed of me yet he didn't." That was the most
important problem, the largest mystery he needed to solve.
"Maybe he had feelings for you?"
That was a cold thought and it made Rye shiver. "No, I was never anything more than an object.
We all were, just tools to be used. He was angry that I had given something to someone else that
I wouldn't give to him but that was from spite." It clicked into place and Ichi nearly got dumped onto the bed Rye stood up so quickly. "He's going to come back for me. There can't be too many of us left and I was the top of all the units, he couldn't afford to kill me outright. This was just to humble me. He's going to come for me." That set his heart to thudding in near panic and Rye
could almost feel Conti's breath on his neck already.
"You don't know that." Ichi spoke carefully and didn't move from where he sat on the bed. Rye looked startled and ready to bolt.
"That's the only reason I'm still breathing, Ichi, Conti doesn't make mistakes and he has no
mercy. He couldn't have known I'd find someone kind, someone that would help me heal."
Ichi moved now, he slid off the bed with none of the grace Rye showed. Remembering his past
only seemed to make the man more graceful, more fluid and Ichi knew he could watch him for
days and be happy. His own clumsiness didn't seem important, he moved to stand in front of Rye
and caught his eyes.
"Stop, just stop." He ordered in a firm voice. It was the same voice he'd used to give Rye orders when he'd first arrived. It worked, Rye shut his mouth and swallowed the words he'd been ready
to pour out. "You've only known this for four hours and three of which you were unconscious for.
Take a couple of breaths, calm down, and then we'll sit down with the others and figure out what
to do from here. We have Lerman's files, you have your memories and you aren't alone
anymore."
Rye blinked at the total command in Ichi's voice and manner. Instantly, the unfocused panic
faded and the cold fear stepped down. He was trained to obey, it was all he knew, to follow a
stronger man, he just didn't think Ichi was going to understand that and fulfill that role. The
difference was, this time, he had a man worthy of following.
"That's better." Ichi saw the clarity return to those grey eyes. "Now, Amanda's out there and she's pretty worried about you. She said you should try to eat something when you wake up, so, how
about we get dinner, check on Will, give it a bit and then worry?"
It was sensible idea and one Rye nodded and agreed to but there was no point or need for
discussion. Conti knew he was alive and would eventually come for him. Most likely, Ichi and
other innocents would be hurt along the way because he doubted anyone would simply hand him
back to Conti. That left only one course of action, kill Conti or die in the process of trying.
It took a while to get ready for dinner. Amanda wanted to check Rye over and Rye wanted a
shower. He wasn't sure how he could stand being at the public kitchen and spent most of the
time in the shower just letting the hot water sooth him. It was odd to have his memories in place,
to be able to page through them like a book. He wanted time to sort it out, time away from
watching eyes. Time alone, he'd spent most of his life basically alone and contact with other
people had only ever brought pain.
But he wasn't owned by Conti anymore, he wasn't housed in a unit of drones an
ymore. Rye shut
the water off and tried to catch his breath. Every instinct screamed at him to run before people
got hurt but he didn't want to leave. Will and Amanda and even Jake and Narin were friends,
family even or as close as he was ever likely to find. They weren't competition for survival within his unit. Ichi, well, Ichi went beyond family, he was vital.
It left him feeling torn in two. Unable to leave and near panicked just from the thought of harm
touching any of them. He knew how to fake a relationship, a friendship, in fact he used to be
quite good at it but inside he'd always known it was a fake. Nothing had prepared him for having
those ties be real but he'd learned one thing, hiding alone in his thoughts wasn't going to keep
them away.
That thought made him smile a little. He could keep his distance all he wanted, bite his tongue
and refuse to speak to them but they wouldn't abandon him. They'd go on and make horrible,
futile plans anyway and do everything in their power to protect him. Since he knew he could cut off his own legs easier than he could leave them behind, he resigned himself to accepting their
company and perceived help, even if Rye knew it was going to be up to him to protect them.
Chapter Thirty Two:
Dinner turned out to be in Jack and Narin's room, a two bedroom suite similar to the one the four
of them shared. Which settled some of Rye's nerves, he was grateful to be away from
unwelcome and unknown eyes. Will was already there, looking a little pale but otherwise normal
and he greeted the three of them with a wide, warm smile.
"Hey."
Amanda moved over to press a kiss to her husband's forehead. "I see communing didn't
scramble your brains."
"Not that we'd be able to tell with Will." Jake teased.
"Hey!"
"Seriously, how was it? I wish I was a stronger psi." She sat down as Narin slid platters of food onto the table.
Will drew a slow breath and studied the plates of food, all simple fare meant to be picked at, light too as if Narin knew that the conversation would settle heavily on human stomachs. "It was
different, better than I expected, less vulnerable then I'd thought. It helped a lot."
"Will's not that much stronger of a psi than me but he's twice as empathic, seems communion
works to settle a lot of the backlash of that down." Jake nodded to Rye and Ichi but settled down across from them. "So, is it a safe guess to assume you've remembered, Rye?"
Rye nodded. "Pretty much everything."
"How much protection can Avalon really offer?" Ichi wanted to cling to Rye but unless the man reached for him, he found it almost impossible to cross the gulf to him.
Amanda glanced to Jake and shrugged before answering. "A fair amount through legal channels.
By all rights, Rye is still considered property, Avalon property. He can't be removed without a
legal fight and it's one I doubt Lerman or PETS would risk becoming a public fight."
"No, they won't come at me openly. Avalon can't protect me from that. The moment Conti thinks
I might remember, he'll send for me."
"Send for you?" Will leaned forward.
"A recall order that I'll have to follow, if I don't, he'll send someone and they'll kill anyone that gets in their way."
"You're sure about this?"
"Will, I'm sure." He'd been sent to retrieve one or two of them over the years. One of the other boys he'd found living with a woman, all he wanted was to be left alone. Rye had killed the girl
and dragged the boy back. The other, one of the female children Lerman owned, had missed her
recall order because she was dead. He'd dispatched those around her body and brought that
back.
"So we just have to make sure he never finds out you're better." Amanda said as if that was simple and easy.
"I don't think that's possible, not for the long term." Jake caught Narin's eye but the pale man was silent, respectful of a situation that didn't directly effect him. The pale blue eyes were hardly
disinterested, they absorbed every word with the hunger for knowledge of the Lorekeeper he'd
once been.
Rye drew a breath. "The safest course of action is for me to disappear."
Anything else he might have said was cut off by all three Avalon folks talking at once. Oddly, the
loudest sound was Ichi's silence and Rye found himself acutely aware of the Asian man's
harsher, shorter breathes.
"I agree, it won't do any good." Rye finally cut into them. "They'll still come here looking for me and I can't swear my absence will protect you. This isn't going to end until I'm dead, or until
Conti's dead."
That shut everyone up.
"I can't sit here, on my hands, waiting for him to come for me. I have to take this to him." The thought made him feel sick.
"Just like that? You get your memories back and suddenly you're some super hero?" Will
snapped, feeling an edge of panic from Ichi seep into his brain and cold dread from Rye.
"If you can think of another way, I'll listen." Rye challenged, knowing there wasn't another way.
"Conti is a paranoid fucker, it's not going to be so simple to just walk in there and kill him!"
"Will, don't think for a single heartbeat that killing Conti will be anything close to easy. For better or not, that man is my father and short of the last year, the only person in my entire life to give a thought about whether I breathed or not. Reaching him will be the easy part." Even Rye was
surprised at the vein of loyalty he'd found but that horrible knack to speak from emotion still
popped up and out the words spilled.
"How can you defend him? He stole any chance you may have had for a normal childhood,
turned you into some weapon and when that was no longer useful turned you into a sex toy!
Wake up Rye, this man is filth and deserves death not your protection!"
"Will." Amanda warned.
Rye stood up, his hands balled into fists. "I know better than you'll ever be able to dream what a monster Conti is but he is my father, he is all that ever mattered to me. I lived or died on that
man's whim, I was his and no matter what...." Rye flinched a little from the quick flashes of
memory but he drew a breath. "No matter what he's done, he's all I've ever had." That sounded weak, empty and more than a touch broken.
The two men locked eyes. Rye couldn't help remember all the reasons he should agree with Will,
they scratched at his sense of self and drew blood. Worse, he remembered, vividly, why he of all
people had reason to hate his father. It had little to do with being a Pet.
Will went three shades paler just before he turned green. "Oh, fuck me." He hissed and ran off to a bathroom.
Rye's anger disappeared. "What just happened?"
"Will's gifts bond him to his family." Jake explained carefully. "He's been getting flashes of your memories. He must have seen something new. Amanda, want to settle him down or should I?"
"No." Rye shook his head and started to follow Will. "I'll go." He glanced over to where he'd been sitting and how pale Ichi looked too, he hadn't touched a bite of food. Soothing Will's nerves
wasn't the only nerves he'd be settling down.
Rye found Will washing his mouth out and splashing cold water across his face inside of Jake's
bathroom. He glanced up and saw reflected in the mirror Rye, not Jake or Amanda.
"You'd think with how much I puked this afternoon I wouldn't have anything left."
"I'm sorry."
He waved it off. "Isn't your fault. Poor Narin, Olesckians don't vomit like we do, it scares him."
Will grinned and sat on the toilet lid. "He thought I was dying." The grin d
isappeared. "Does Ichi know? Have you told anyone?"
Rye leaned against the doorframe. "Told anyone, what?"
"That Conti abused you, beyond the obvious, I mean." Rye's only reaction to his words was to drop his head and hide his eyes. "I saw it, Rye."
"Conti made it clear there was only room for the best in his children, I was one of the best but I wasn't special. He had favorites. After my first mission, he made sure I knew what made the
other boys special, made me watch to shame him. When that boy was killed a couple of years
later, Conti told me I was special now. I fought him, Will, refused him. He beat me for it,
screamed at me that the big secret was that he owned me and I had no right to say no to him.
When he was finished, I spent a week in the infirmary. I never refused him again." He spoke in a flat dead voice, reporting facts that felt disconnected from his actual person.
"But you never gave in to him either. I saw that, Rye, you may not have been able to stop him
but you never, ever gave in." Things clicked in Will's head and he paled again. "Oh, that's what you tried to tell me. That night after your nightmare. That's why you thought it was from before
you'd been made into a Pet. It was Conti using you and your body didn't respond. Graces, it
wasn't Ichi in the blood but that boy and you killed him, they made you, oh..." Will moved quickly and retched into the sink. There wasn't even bile left to vomit out but over and over his stomach
dry heaved.
Rye moved to help support the man, holding his head for him and letting him purge physically
what couldn't be purged. When Will settled, he helped him rinse his mouth and settle, shakily,
back on the toilet lid.
"I'm supposed to be settling you down, not making you worse."
Will waved it off. "It's okay, better to get it out now. That's why he did this to you? Because you denied him, he made it so you physically couldn't. Rye, that's evil, that's beyond evil. He needs
to be killed, if for nothing more than his sins, he needs to pay."
That set a cold knot in Rye's stomach. "I know that but can you see why I say it's not so simple?
He's my father, as horrible as he is, he's all I've had. I owe the man my life."
"Rye," Will shook his head and locked onto those broken, torn, grey eyes. "You owe him nothing, he used you and made a huge profit on you, I'm sure. You've paid him back enough. No matter