by Sarina Wilde
“You know his partner?” Beth asked.
Jill nodded, remembering him stroking her hair off her face after he made love to her. “He’s—we’re very close.”
“Pull Jill,” Radcliffe said. “She needs to be with Kevin and Detective Heller.”
Jill took a deep breath. “Thanks. How—how serious is Adam’s leg?”
“He’s lost a lot of blood. The bullet’s lodged.” The nurse looked at Jill and swallowed. “They’re stabilizing him.”
Jill pictured Adam, lean and laughing as he’d played with her and Kevin in the shower, and later, the way he’d held her close. Her heart tightened. She recalled his expression when she’d accused him of having an ongoing relationship with Kevin. She’d seen it then. He already loved her husband and she was pretty sure he was more than willing to open his heart to her. He’d shown her that too. Her throat tightened. There was room in her heart for both men—Kevin and Adam. She’d never planned on adding another man to her life and it certainly did not mean she and Kevin lacked anything in their relationship. Adam was simply an addition taking them to a new level.
She took a deep breath and looked Radcliffe in the eye. “I need to help get ready. Yeah, I want to be with Kevin and Adam when they get here, but right now, I need to keep busy.”
She occupied herself with the tasks that were the fabric of her everyday work life, keeping one ear on the information coming in from the ambulances and one eye on the emergency entrance. When the ambulances arrived, one right after the other, Jill froze. Adam was the first one off. His clothing had already been cut off, a blanket covered him and an IV had been attached. His left leg was immobilized and his face was pale.
Jill gritted her teeth. As though somehow aware of her presence, his eyes opened while the paramedics were locking everything in place on the stretcher.
“Jilly.” His voice was just a croak. “He’s okay.”
Tears spurted from her eyes. God! Hurt as he was, he still thought of Kevin—and her, trying to reassure her. She grabbed his hand. “Oh, Adam, I’m just as worried about you. I’ll be right back, just as soon as I check on Kevin.”
He closed his eyes and smiled. “‘Sokay.”
She hated to turn him loose, sensed the same reluctance in his own grasp. With one more soft squeeze, she released him and hurried to the second ambulance. When she saw Kevin’s head had been immobilized, her heart skipped a beat.
“Kevin?” Her throat was tight, her voice barely a whisper, but he heard her and his blue, blue eyes snapped open. She reached him, grabbing the hand he raised and hanging on for dear life. Her gaze skated over him. A laceration at his hairline had been cleaned, but bruising had already formed around it. Concussion. She looked at his chest, seeing the bruising there. “You had your vest on.”
“Yes. I’m okay, Jilly. Adam saved me.”
“Take him to X-ray.” The triage nurse was there directing the paramedics.
“Adam?” Kevin rasped.
“He’s being prepped for surgery,” Jill told him. He squeezed her hand tighter.
“Stay with him. I promised I would. You have to do it for me.”
Something about the look in Kevin’s eyes told her it went a whole lot further than whatever feelings the two men shared.
“What do you mean he saved your life?”
“We need to get him in to x-ray his head and chest, Jill,” the nurse reminded her.
She stepped back, releasing Kevin’s hand. “We’ll talk later.”
Kevin blinked. “I love you.”
She smiled at him, her hand fisted over her heart. “I know.”
She left him, hurrying to the area where Adam was being prepped. Even with the warm blankets covering him, he shivered so hard his teeth chattered. Jill paused in mid-step. The truth slammed into her. He was frightened. Her pace increased. She took his hand and used her other to smooth over his short hair.
“It’s okay, Adam.”
His eyes, darkened by pain and fear, slid away. “Hate this.”
She pulled a chair and sat next to him, her face close to his. “I’ll stay right here with you until they take you into surgery. Thompson, the trauma surgeon, is the best.”
His gaze returned to her. “I have this phobia…”
She touched his cheek. “A lot of people do. You’re safe. Kevin wanted to be here, but he’s getting x-rayed right now.”
“You…with him.”
She shook her head, leaned down and kissed his cheek. “Here’s where I need to be because Kevin asked…and because I want to be here.” The nurse anesthetist entered the room and Jill nodded. Adam’s fears were about to get some chemical relief. “Mike’s going to give you something to relax you. It will all be done before you know it.”
His shivering increased, so she tucked the warm blankets around him.
“Stay,” he gritted out between clenched teeth.
“Not going anywhere, Adam.” She swallowed, continuing to hold his hand. Kevin said Adam had saved his life, but so much more came into play—the way her heart beat as if she were a teenager when he was near, the way he looked at her and Kevin, the way he loved them—so no way would she leave his side until she had to. As the drugs relaxed him, his shivering eased and the tension left his lean body. By the time they came in to wheel him along the hall to the OR, Adam’s eyelids were drooping. Jill held his hand until the surgery doors opened with a whoosh. She caught the surgeon’s eye. He nodded and gave her a thumbs-up.
“I’ll see you in a few minutes,” she told Adam. “Kevin and I will be there when you wake.”
His body shook again and he nodded, but didn’t say anything. Once the doors shut behind him, Jill sprinted back to find Kevin. She didn’t know what had happened. The details would come out, but she knew what mattered to her right now. They were both alive and would stay that way.
* * * * *
They’d put him in a room, the lighting subdued. Just turning his head for the X-rays had left him feeling nauseous and his chest hurt like a bitch. Injuries aside, he kept looking at the door. Where was she? How long did it take to get someone ready for surgery? Had something gone wrong? Was Adam all right?
Damn. He made himself crazy. Kevin hated feeling helpless. He was used to action, to getting things done and finding his own answers to any questions he had. But for right now, he was pretty well stuck. The doc had told him he wanted him to stay quiet for at least a day or two, longer if he continued to show any symptoms. Right now, besides the pain, exhaustion was the only thing plaguing him.
The door opened and his heart leapt. He knew Jill had come even before she spoke. He’d always been aware of her in a way he couldn’t explain—in the same way he was aware of Hell.
“Kevin?” Her voice was quiet, as if she feared waking him. Then she must have seen him watching her. “Oh good. You’re awake already. Adam’s in surgery. There doesn’t appear to be any damage to the femur, which is what the bullet lodged against. They’ll leave it there and repair the tissue damage.”
“Leave it there?” Kevin couldn’t help the incredulity in his tone.
Jill smiled. “This is real, not a TV show. In most cases, unless the bullet’s pressing against something to cause problems, it’s less traumatic for the patient to leave it. The body will wall it off, maybe eventually even push it close enough to the surface that Adam can have it removed if he chooses.”
“So how long should this surgery take?”
“An hour or so. They’ll beep me when they move him to recovery. We’ll go there and wait for him to wake up. I told him we’d be there.”
“We?” Kevin hated the uncertainty in his voice, but he didn’t want to read too much into her behavior or the Adam Gregory message they’d gotten earlier. He wasn’t sure if he was getting Jill the nurse or Jilly—his wife. “You and me?”
She nodded, still standing way too far away from him for his liking. She looked nervous, which was exactly how he felt. The gulf between them was still there.
He had to say something, had to find a way to make her understand. He prayed it wouldn’t come to making a choice between her or Hell.
“Tell me what happened,” she said, coming closer to his bed. When she sat next to him, Kevin closed his eyes for a moment, inhaling her clean scent. If he lived to be a hundred years old, he would never forget the way she always smelled.
“We connected the body found Sunday to another one found ten years ago and both of them to Addy Brown. When we looked at all the evidence again, plus some new things we found, we made the connection to the head of Addy’s high school English department.”
“You were shot by an English teacher?”
“That would be making a long story really short, but yes. The guy owned a farm on the north end of the county. Hell and I decided to check it out. When Sarge told us Shelby wasn’t at his house in town, we used caution, but we were already out of the car. We had decided to enter the house and barn to search and were doing so when he opened fire. He caught me in the vest, I knocked Hell down and smacked my head. The next thing I know, Hell’s got me back around the side of the house, out of the line of fire, but he’s taken a bullet to the leg. My phone’s dead and his is cracked. I was supposed to cover him while he made it to the car. The only problem was Shelby had moved. Hell had finished calling everything in when all of a sudden I see him raise his pistol as if he’s going to fire straight at me.”
“At you? Why would he shoot you?”
Kevin closed his eyes. “Shelby came up behind me, about to blow my freaking head off. Instead Hell shot him. The bullet meant for me missed and slammed into our car.”
She took his hand. Warmth spread through him and he opened his eyes to stare into her deep blue ones. “All I could think was I’d never see you again to tell you how damn sorry I was and how much I love you, Jilly.”
She held his hand in hers and bowed her head until it touched their clasped hands. “I reacted in anger—and embarrassment—Sunday morning. I did the same when Adam tried to talk to me, but he did get through—what he said and what he left unsaid. I’ve had time to think. I’m so sorry.”
“About what? You had every right—”
“No, I didn’t. Looking back on it, I see you were both trying to give me what I wanted at the same time you satisfied your own safety concerns. I didn’t take your reservations into account. All I thought about was me, what I wanted, and I didn’t listen to you.”
“I should have told you.”
“Maybe. Even worse, we’re both guilty of using Adam, not thinking what impact bringing him into our bed might have on him.” Jill sighed then met his gaze, her own wide and honest. “I want you to move back in.”
Kevin thought of his partner, of the help Hell would need. “What about Adam?”
Jill worried her lower lip. “I want him to come home with us while he recovers.”
Kevin watched her. “And after?”
“I’d like him to stay. You know, I made love with him again while you slept. It was then I realized we weren’t just living out a fantasy, but everything went so wrong. I guess what happens now is really up to him. I’m not sure I could forgive me if I were in his shoes. Can we just see how things go?”
Such immense relief washed through him, he laid his head back, tears trickling from the corners of his eyes. “Shit. This is getting to be a habit.”
Jill brushed his tears away. “You can blame it on the concussion if you want. They can make people pretty emotional.”
He smiled at her. “Good idea, except I’ve been a train wreck since you kicked me out Sunday.”
Jill’s beeper chirped. “That’ll be Adam coming out of surgery. Let me find a wheelchair and I’ll get you to recovery with me. Maybe then we can all get back on track.”
* * * * *
Waking up felt as though he were fighting his way from beneath the surface of the ocean, complete with the roaring waves and the gritty eyes. Part of him was ready to give in to that roaring darkness. He was tired and it was too exhausting.
“Come on, Adam, wake up.”
He remembered the voice. Jill. Kevin’s Jill. Adam kept his eyes shut. He didn’t want to wake to a world where he would lose Kevin and Jill.
“Dude, she knows you’re awake. Open up.”
Kevin was with her. They were together. He forced himself to open his eyes, to face whatever would come—the inevitable Thanks for saving my life. Now my wife and I are back together again and you’re out in the cold. A calloused palm touched his forehead. Adam wanted to turn toward Kevin’s touch. Instead he forced his eyes open, giving his brain a moment to adjust and his vision to clear.
They were both right beside him. Kevin sat in a wheelchair, his head bandaged and his breathing a little shallow. Jill sat in a chair next to him, one hand twined with Adam’s, the other with Kevin’s. They were both there—with him. His glance strayed to the throbbing in his thigh.
“My leg…?”
Jill squeezed. “You’ll be fine. You need some time to recover.” Her glance darted to Kevin for an instant. “We’d like you to do it at our house.”
His throat was so tight, all he could do was nod. His whole life, Adam had stood on the outside looking in and now the door opened so he no longer had to remain an observer. He could grab his courage and step through.
“Are you sure?” His voice was no more than a croak.
“None of this is sure,” Kevin rumbled, “but we want you with us.”
Chapter Twelve
Jill wanted to see Adam without Kevin there. There were things she needed to say to him, get out on the table just between them. She had taken Kevin home last night. Other than monitoring him and making sure he stayed quiet, there’d been no reason for him to stay in the hospital. Adam was a different matter.
He’d managed to lose a lot of blood between the wound itself and all of the movement he’d done getting Kevin to safety then radioing for help. They could thank their lucky stars the bullet hadn’t hit his femoral artery. Jill doubted there would have been any chance to save him. The far more likely scenario would be that both Adam and her husband would now be dead, killed by Grady Shelby.
So here she was now, ready to grovel if she needed to.
She pushed the door, already ajar, wider open. The room was dimly lit. Adam slept, his lean face softer in slumber despite the beard growth darkening his jaw. Jill pulled a chair close and sat next to him. Unable to help herself, she brushed back the hair falling over his forehead. He was still a little cool to the touch and she knew his body still struggled with the blood loss. They’d given him some, but recovery still took time.
“Hey.” His voice was raspy and dry.
“Hey to you too.” She started to pull her hand back.
“Leave it.” He turned his cheek into her palm, and his eyelids fluttered shut. Jill stroked her thumb across the dark circles beneath his eyes, and her chest ached.
“I sent you email,” she murmured, “but I’m guessing you didn’t get a chance to see it.”
“No.”
“It was an apology and an explanation.”
His eyes fluttered back open, the depths dark with weariness. “Can we not do this right now?”
Jill stroked his hair again, taking a shaky breath. “Listen, please.”
He gave the faintest nod.
“I was so wrong. Once I got past the deception—and I even understand that now—I could see how amazing that night was. There was a connection between you and Kevin that was awe inspiring. I felt it with you too when we were together. I don’t know, maybe I was a little jealous or a little frightened by it, so I lost it when I found out that not only did you know each other, but you were his partner. You see him more than I do every day.”
“He loves you.”
Jill let out a heavy breath. “He loves you too. I can’t deny him what he wants.”
Adam watched her, his expression flat. “What do you want?”
Tears welled in her eyes. “I want u
s to start over again, this time honestly.”
He turned his face slightly away and inhaled deeply. “I don’t want just Kevin, you know.”
The tears fell. “I’ve finally realized that. I should have known it that night. I didn’t expect this, but I can’t ignore what I feel either. Will you come home with us?”
She captured his strong, calloused hand and held it in hers, waiting for his answer. Her heart thumped. When he finally nodded, Jill pressed her lips to the back of his hand. “Thank you.”
* * * * *
Adam refused to be wheeled into Kevin and Jill’s house after getting out of the hospital, even though he had to stop between the car and the door to readjust his crutches and catch his breath.
“What’s up?” Kevin inquired mildly, looking back over his shoulders.
“Damn, Ramsey, I’m as weak as a freaking kitten.”
Jill opened the door. “I heard that, but it’s your own fault for insisting you do without a chair. Between the bullet and the blood loss, did it ever occur to you your body’s in shock?”
Adam stared past Kevin at Jill’s shiny blonde hair. He felt the stupid grin splitting his face and couldn’t stop it. God, she was beautiful—how much had really hit home when he’d watched her shedding tears over him while she sat in his hospital room. Oh shit, she was getting ready to help him inside as though he were a tottering old fart. She’d reached his side and just as he was about to snap and tell her he could do it himself, she smiled at him.
“Hi,” he mumbled, only vaguely aware of Kevin’s snort in the background.
“Hi yourself, Adam.” Jill kissed his cheek. When he stared at her, she blushed. “I’ve got your room ready if you want to lie down or you can lie on the couch and watch the Panthers game. I thought maybe you and Kevin would rather do that.”
He cleared his throat. “Football.” Raising his gaze, he found Kevin. “Have I said thanks?”
Kevin grinned. “Ad nauseam. Come on, Hell, let me help you in. Kickoff’s in ten minutes.”
With Kevin on one side and Jill on the other, he stepped into the kitchen then made his way to the den. He wondered how long the three of them could last. Deep inside, the feeling lingered that all this was simply gratitude.