“Very well, then,” Alex said with a sigh and then pushed off and was whooshing down the hill as fast as could be. Joanna stared after him, and then looked to Elijah, who still held his hand out expectantly.
“It’s awfully fast,” she noted, and he tried not to laugh at the nerves evident on her face as he nodded.
“It is,” he agreed. “Come with me anyway?”
She paused for a moment, unsure, but her face then set in determination and she placed her hand in his before stepping forward and settling herself between his outstretched knees. She gripped the front of the sled in both of her hands, and Elijah tried not to make light of her obvious fear.
“You’ve never been sledding with us before?” he asked.
“No,” she shook her head. “I never quite had the courage to try it before.” She was silent for a moment. “And there was never anyone willing to take me along.”
Her words caused guilty sorrow to fill him, and he hung his head for a moment before lightly touching her shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Joanna. Truly I am. I likely didn’t make it any easier on you either. But I am here now. And I promise you that I will make it up to you. Now,” he said, placing his hands on either side of her waist, “hold on!”
With a hard push of his heels and hands into the ground, he sent the sled forward. It was an old sled, one fashioned years ago that he remembered using as a child. It was steady and true, sending them flying down the hill. Joanna let out a happy yell of glee and it warmed him through to the core to hear her lose her restraint and allow joy to invade.
The hill was one of legends, steep yet with the perfect slope that allowed for a slowing at the bottom so that one could coast. The footmen had checked the hill to ensure that it was free of debris before the children went down.
Which is why it didn’t make any sense whatsoever when suddenly the sled hit a sharp bump, took a quick turn to the right, and they went hurdling sideways, heading for the row of evergreens that bordered the hill.
“Eli!” Joanna yelled out with fear, as he dug his heels into the ground to prevent them from crashing into a tree, even though it sent them flying out of the sled. He wrapped his arms around her and tried to absorb the impact of the ground as they rolled through the wet snow together.
The moment he came to a stop, he was crawling over toward her, checking to ensure that she was all right.
“Joanna?” he asked, rolling her over, and she looked up at him with panicky eyes. “Are you all right?”
“I think so,” she said, breathing hard as she sat up, shaking her head from side to side. Her woolen hat was dipped low over one eye, much of her hair falling from its pins to circle her head.
She dusted snow off her pelisse as she seemed to be checking to ensure that she wasn’t injured.
“What happened?” she asked, but he could only shake his head in bemusement.
“I have no idea,” he said. “We obviously hit something.”
He returned to take a look at the hill, one of the footmen, Georges, accompanying him to do so.
“Impossible, my lord,” he murmured, shaking his head, “we checked it before anyone went down.”
But there, in the middle, almost imperceptibly buried in the snow, was a rock with a mound of snow packed behind it.
It was almost as though it had been placed there on purpose. But how? By who? And why?
He looked around at the others, who began to gather around them, to see what exactly had happened.
Caroline — Thatcher behind her — seemed concerned, of course, as did some of the other guests. Baxter and Ophelia looked slightly annoyed, as though they didn’t appreciate the blight on the day. And then Elijah’s eye fell on Alexander, who was watching him with what could only be described as a smug, self-satisfied expression. Elijah frowned. His brother would never do something that could so hurt him — was he pleased at the accident after Joanna had dismissed him?
Then Alex looked him in the eye, gave a jaunty wave, and retrieved his sled before going up the hill.
This couldn’t be his brother’s idea of a worthy prank.
Could it?
* * *
As shaken and embarrassed as she was, Joanna could say with all certainty that Elijah could not have been more attentive following their fall. When she politely refused any further opportunity to go down the hill again, Elijah had insisted that she return home and ensure all was well.
She tried to resist, not wanting to take anyone else away from the fun, but Elijah said that, feeling responsible, he would accompany her. His parents were at home to provide the appropriate chaperoning — not that there was anyone to care whether or not Joanna was chaperoned — and one of the footmen who had accompanied them would follow them home.
Now they had returned, and she was back to feeling unsure. Joanna had never exactly been courted before, and nor had she any idea of whether Elijah was actually courting her or not.
He had kissed her, yes, but what exactly did that mean?
“Again, I’m sorry, Joanna,” he said, as they stood uncomfortably in the foyer. Her hair hung bedraggled and damp down her back, and she flushed once more as a wet tendril on her neck reminded her of just what she must look like at the moment.
“It wasn’t your fault,” she said before even thinking on what she was saying.
“It is, though,” he countered. “I talked you into coming down with me.”
“It’s fine,” she said. “I’m fine. All is fine.”
Did she know any other words besides fine? Apparently, it was the only thing she could think of to say.
“Would you like a warm chocolate?” he asked, his hands clasped behind his back, and he looked so eager to make up for their little fall that she felt as though she had to do something to allow him to feel as though he was being useful.
“That sounds lovely,” she said. “Why don’t I go change and then I will meet you?”
“In the parlor,” he said decisively, and he seemed so pleased she had agreed that Joanna couldn’t help but feel she had made the right decision.
When she entered the parlor a short time later, however, she found nothing but an empty room. She waited a few minutes, but the fire was in embers and she had the feeling that he had forgotten, or at the very least been distracted. She looked down at her hands, wondering if she was thinking far too much about this and that he, in fact, wasn’t particularly excited at all.
He was likely just being polite, she thought with a sigh as she rose and exited the room, beginning down the corridor to return to her own chamber. She had costumes to create. She should continue on and forget that he had asked anything of her.
She was so focused on her new destination, however, that she jumped when a figure appeared in front of her.
“Elijah!” she said, a hand coming to her heart. “You scared me!”
“I did?” he cocked his head to the side. “I’ve been waiting for you.” He waved a hand in the door.
“In the library?” she asked, wrinkling her nose at him. “I had thought we were meeting in the parlor.”
“You did?” he asked, raising his brows. “I was most certain it was the library. Oh well,” he shrugged, “you’re here now. Come in?”
She nodded, slipping past him and into the room. He left the door open as she took a seat in the George III tub chair closest to the fire.
“Where are your parents?” she asked, as he took his own seat in the chair opposite her.
“Upstairs,” he said, “likely hiding from the guests for a time. If you feel uncomfortable, I can ask the footman to stay when he brings the tray.”
Joanna waved a hand in the air. “There are a few conveniences to being a spinster without any strong noble connections,” she said. “One being that no one who particularly cares about your goings on besides as fodder for the latest gossip.”
“That doesn’t bother you?” he asked as the footman came in with the warm chocolate, and Joanna took a sip, unable
to help the gratefulness for it fill her, smiling with satisfaction as she closed her eyes. When she opened them, Elijah was staring at her with a strange look on his face, and she hastily returned to the moment, remembering his question.
She shook her head as she replaced her cup on its saucer.
“No,” she said. “Besides, I would not be of any interest to discuss unless I happened to be associated with someone of note.”
“Like me?” he asked, raising an eyebrow, to which she nodded.
“Like you.”
“Joanna,” he began, moving toward her, picking up her hand in his, his skin burning hers, as they had taken off their outdoor gloves and hadn’t yet replaced them. “I need to talk to you about something, I—”
But before he could discuss whatever was on his mind — which Joanna was tense with anticipation as she waited to learn — the door flung open to reveal Caroline at its entrance.
“Joanna,” her voice rang across the room, “I have to speak to you.”
Chapter 15
Joanna was torn.
Torn between concern for her friend and a desperate desire to know just what Elijah was about to say.
She had accepted his offer for a drink together partly in sympathy for him and his apparent guilt over their sledding accident. The other part of her was curious as to whether he had, by chance, anything to do with the cause of it. Had it been some practical joke gone wrong? She didn’t want to think such a thing but she couldn’t help but be suspicious, knowing his past as well as she did.
And now, the vulnerable emotion on his face surprised her, for he wasn’t exactly the type to admit to a feeling of any kind.
Then Caroline had burst in.
Joanna rose, slipped her hand from Elijah’s, and walked over to her friend, who she realized guiltily she had somewhat neglected as most of her thoughts had been tied up in Elijah and her time now in the costumes. Caroline, however, had been fairly absent herself.
“Caro,” she said, taking her by the hand, “come sit down and tell me what is the matter.”
“First,” Caroline said with a sideways glance at her brother, “are you all right? By the time I made it down the hill to accompany you home, you were gone.”
“I am,” she said, reaching for the tray. “Can I pour you a chocolate?”
“Oh, Joanna,” Caroline said with a sigh, “I should really be the one doing this for you. I’m so sorry. I have been a beastly friend.”
“I was just thinking the same thing of myself!” Joanna responded with a laugh.
They shared a smile of recognition that only true friends could share, before Caroline turned serious once more.
“In truth, though, what happened?” she asked. “We have been throwing ourselves down that hill on those very same sleds for years now and never has one gone so horribly askew.”
“I thought the same,” Elijah said slowly from his seat. “I think it was tampered with.”
“But who would do such a thing?” Joanna asked, and while Elijah shrugged, Caroline’s brow furrowed.
“Well, there is someone.”
“Who?” both Elijah and Joanna asked.
“Oh, Eli, you know very well who.”
“I do?”
Now the concern on her face changed from one of suspicion to one rather upset.
“Eli,” she said tilting her head, “you’ve always been quite the prankster, true, but there was never any malice in your intentions. Alex, on the other hand…”
“Alex played practical jokes?” Joanna couldn’t help but interject.
“Sometimes,” Caroline said, “but he usually made it seem like Eli’s fault — especially when someone got hurt. Eli, I’m sorry to say, but you always so admired Alex that you would go along with whatever he suggested.”
Elijah frowned, and Joanna wondered just how much he remembered of their youth. It seemed like less every time something came up.
“You think Alex would do something like this, to put me — and Joanna — in danger?”
“Did he know Joanna was going to be with you?”
“He did offer me his sled instead,” Joanna said thoughtfully.
“My guess is that he wanted to see you look foolish, Elijah,” Caroline suggested. “He was the one that was rather sought after until you returned. Now you are not only back, but a war hero at that, and I believe he feels somewhat forgotten. He likely didn’t care much one way or the other whether Joanna was hurt along with you.”
“That son of a—”
“Careful,” Caroline said with a slight smile, “we all have the same mother.”
He let out an exhale at that, not completing his prior thought, and Joanna couldn’t help but laugh slightly, although with a sigh.
“I will have to get to the bottom of it,” he said. “But Caro, was there something else on your mind?”
“Oh,” she said, somewhat hesitant now. “I, ah, was hoping to speak to Joanna about it.”
Elijah sat back in his chair, his jacket straining over his broad shoulders when he crossed his arms over his chest, and Joanna allowed herself a quick moment to appreciate it.
“I will leave you if you choose,” Elijah said, “but I must ask, Caroline, does this have anything to do with the footman?”
“His name is Samuel Thatcher,” she said, sitting tall in her chair as though to tell her brother that she didn’t appreciate him questioning her feelings toward him. “And you are invited to leave, Eli, if you don’t have anything nice to say.”
“Caro,” he said, leaning forward in his chair, “it is not that I am trying to undermine your feelings or intentions toward him. I just feel as though I need to make sure you understand what it would mean for you to continue this infatuation. If you actually want to be with him, you would have to give up everything for him. Your status, your home, your life as you know it.”
“I’m not stupid, Elijah,” she said, her face screwed up in consternation. “Do you not think that I am aware of all of this? Furthermore, none of that means anything if I cannot be with the one that I love.”
“I know, Caro,” he said, his face softening, “I just wanted to make sure.”
“Besides,” she said, with a quick look in Joanna’s direction, “how is what I feel for Samuel any different from what you feel for Joanna?”
Joanna swallowed hard. She and Elijah may have kissed, but they hadn’t exactly discussed any feelings for one another before, and she didn’t think he was about to do so in the presence of his sister.
“That’s different,” he said, his face hardening.
“How so?” Caroline countered, and Joanna had the sudden urge to leave them and allow brother and sister to talk this out among themselves, but it seemed she was frozen in place, unable to move away from the tableau in front of her.
“Because,” he said carefully, as though he was trying to answer her without saying anything regarding his own specific situation, “a woman joins the man’s life. It doesn’t usually go in the other direction.”
“But it could.”
“I suppose,” he hedged. “But do you think Father would accept a footman joining the family?”
Joanna knew what Elijah was trying to say. Yet at the same time, his thoughts caused an ire to begin simmering in her stomach. Was this how he characterized a person? By their station in life?
“Any more than he would a seamstress?” she couldn’t help but say, and both Elijah and Caroline turned to her in surprise.
“Joanna,” Elijah said, his tone contrite, “I never meant—”
“I know what you meant,” she said, suddenly ashamed for allowing her hurt feelings to take over the conversation, “but still. Something to think about, I suppose.”
They were all silent for a moment as they seemed to reflect on all that had previously been known, but somehow, now that it was out there, away from their lips and into the world, it had taken on such more weight.
“Why don’t I come with you, help you prepar
e for dinner?” Joanna asked Caroline, sensing her need to speak to her alone. “Thank you, Elijah, for the chocolate,” she said, lifting her cup to him and then taking it with her.
He nodded in return, although his gaze was troubled, his eyes searching, and his melancholy seemed to be catching as Joanna’s steps became heavier in turn.
She tore her eyes away and followed Caroline up the stairs, sensing her friend’s unease but not understanding the entirety of it until they finally entered her bedchamber and she closed the door behind her.
“Joanna,” Caroline whirled around and gripped her hands within her own. “We are leaving. I need a couple of days to prepare, and then we will go in the middle of the night. Or the morning. However you would like to say it — in the wee hours, so that we can make it to Chearsley by first light.”
Joanna stood frozen and stared at her friend with wide eyes.
“You and Thatcher?”
“Well, of course, the two of us,” she said, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she smiled in excitement. “And you, if you’ll come with us.”
“Come with?” Joanna bit her lip. “I don’t know, Caro, what do you want me there for?”
“To help us,” she said a bit desperately. “To be there for me. To convince me that I’m doing the right thing.”
Then she sat on the bed, placing her head in her hands before looking up at Joanna in supplication, her smile finally falling slightly as her true worry emerged.
“Oh, Caro,” Joanna said, taking a seat next to her. “I cannot tell you what is right with any certainty. Only you know that. What is it that you truly want?”
Caroline sighed. “Ideally, I want to marry Thatcher and live with him in a situation where I can still have a relationship with my family. But you heard Elijah. And he’s the most reasonable of them all. I don’t see any way forward but to choose — my family, or Thatcher.”
“Which brings you the greatest pain to think of losing?” Joanna asked gently.
“Leaving him,” Caroline said, her eyes filling with tears. “As much as I don’t want to forever say goodbye to my family, they are the ones ultimately forcing me to make this choice.”
Merry Misrule Page 11