by Martha Woods
“Alright, let’s see…” he began, staring up to the ceiling, tapping a finger against his chiseled chin. He looked back to her with a humored look, “Believe it or not, I have an affinity for human culture.”
“Oh really?” Tessa questioned, cocking a brow.
Benjamin grinned and reached into his pocket, producing a large, new cell phone. “I love these things. Along with social media. It’s fascinating to see how they all interact with one another. The good and the bad. The funny and the horrible. It’s like one massive social experiment we can all look in on,” he explained. “Of course, the elders don’t like us to have such things. What they don’t know won’t hurt them,” Benjamin added with a wink.
Tessa giggled, “Your secret is safe with me.”
“I appreciate that.” Benjamin nibbled on his bottom lip, “Do you actually mind if a take a picture of you? With a date so lovely, I need proof to show my brothers so they believe me.”
“As handsome as you are, they wouldn’t believe you got a date with someone like me?”
“The most desired woman in the clan?” he scoffed, as though she knew, shaking his head. “Though, I like knowing you think I’m handsome.”
She didn’t know what to do with the notion she was the most desired in the clan. How was that even possible? Even with her one strand of white hair and paler skin, Tessa looked nothing like the Calder. She wouldn’t be their type at all. Then it occurred to her that many of the men here had probably actually never seen anyone who didn’t have white hair and blue eyes. Tessa could be considered exotic, which sort of blew her mind. Clearing her throat, Tessa gave a shrug, “You can take my picture... Not sure if I’ll show up, though.” That had been a test she hadn’t done when she was turned into a vampire.
Benjamin grinned ear to ear and lifted the phone toward her. Tessa gave a polite smile and folded her hands in her lap. She could hear the phone make a sound. He glanced to the picture and grinned even wider. “You definitely show up, and look wonderful. Thank you.” He tucked his phone away and went back to his dinner. “Your turn for a fact.”
Tessa pondered a while. “Well, my go-to used to be to tell people I can read their palms.”
Benjamin produced his hand, flipping it palm side up. “Read mine.”
She scoffed, “You know I can read minds. I can actually read auras now too.”
He shrugged with a smile, “Humor me, then.”
Tessa gave him a quizzical look before looking to his hand. Fine. If he wanted it, Tessa would give him the full client experience. Gently taking it in hers, she traced her fingertip along the lines in his hands slowly with her eyes closed. She started to take down some of the walls in her mind, letting herself poke around his head and to feel his aura. Benjamin was definitely relaxed, and a little amused. The first thought she heard, was about how pretty Tessa was. He really adored her skin, how it was darker than the women in the clan. He also thought she looked Latina, which he liked. “You have a love for exotic cultures,” she announced in her usual psychic voice, making herself sound distant in thought. Tessa could sense his amusement.
The deeper she delved, she started to pry out bits of information. “You’re a Gemini, I see. I’m an Aries.”
“Doesn’t that mean we’re compatible?” he asked.
Tessa cracked open an eye, “Depends on the psychic or low-wage columnist you’re talking to.” Benjamin laughed, and she closed her eyes again. “You do have a deep love for family. Your brother, Emil, is your best friend. I see a great quest coming your way…” Tessa announced as she heard distant thoughts about wanting to go traveling to human cities with that brother. “Ah, but you’ll be venturing alone. I see Emil having a little one on the way very soon…” Emil was just a year older than Benjamin and had recently married.
Tessa then opened her eyes and let his hand go. Benjamin looked thoroughly impressed. “You’re damn good at that. If I were a human, I would have believed you were actually psychic.”
“A girl’s gotta make her money somehow,” she chuckled.
“You’re so fascinating,” he breathed. His thoughts moved to admiring her mind as well as her beauty. She put back up the mental blocks, wanting him to have his privacy. Though, she guessed he was used to women reading his mind all the time.
“You’re interesting yourself,” Tessa replied.
He smiled at her and continued with his meal for a moment. Tessa sipped her blood. It was truly surprising to her how bearable the date had been. Benjamin certainly was charming, and would no doubt make any human girl weak in the knees. While she could see herself hanging out with him again, Tessa wasn’t sure if she could date him. No matter how hard she tried and how lost in conversation she became, in the back of her mind, she was constantly comparing him to Kristian. What if she could never move on from him? She did her best not to be so pessimistic and just enjoy the evening for what it was. Benjamin wasn’t expecting anything from her, and she wasn’t from him. It was nice, and it was fine if that was all it was.
* * *
Calla had retracted into herself after her and Jared’s fight. It wasn’t that she was mad at him, but she was depressed. She made it a point to be in bed before he got home every night, knowing he wouldn’t disturb her. Calla simply didn’t want to talk about the fight. He’d just coddle her or give her another lecture, and she wanted neither of those options. Perhaps, deep down, part of it was to show him how lonely it had been for her. At least he still had the freedom to come and go as he pleased, and would talk to the others when he worked.
She stepped out of the shower one night, and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. It had actually been a while since she had taken a good look at herself. She had slimmed down a little from not eating much. It wasn’t like she had wanted to, but Calla never had an appetite when she was upset. Her hip bones were more prominent and her ribs showed just a touch more. Calla groaned inwardly. Even though she still didn’t want to admit it to herself, she needed to make up with Jared. Calla wasn’t particularly proud of her behavior the last couple weeks, and although she couldn’t help being so upset, it really wasn’t fair to Jared to shun him. And nothing was ever going to get resolved if they didn’t talk.
Calla pulled on a pair of panties and a cotton t-shirt before moving from the bathroom. She sat down on the foot of the bed and took several deep, calming breaths. Was she even ready to face him? Calla wasn’t sure that when the time came, she would be brave enough to do it. She could see herself diving for the blankets if she heard the van pull up outside. There was no point in waiting any longer, though. She really did miss spending time with him, even for the couple hours a day they had together. She twirled her hair nervously as she stared at the flooring, trying to decide what to do. Then, the sudden sound of the door opening jolted Calla out of her daze. Looking over to the door with doe-like eyes, her gaze locked with Jared’s. He was frozen in place in the entryway, looking surprised to see she was awake. She could sense his feeling of caution. Like she was an actual deer that could be spooked.
“Didn’t mean to startle you…” Jared softly called over, delicately shutting the door behind him. He was home extremely early compared to normal, and Calla couldn’t help wondering why.
Calla just stared at him, her heart pounding in her chest. Why was she so nervous about talking to him? They had been together for months and for quite a bit of it, they had spent all of their time together. It wasn’t like she feared a wild response or even anger from him. She knew that more than likely, her silence the last week had hurt him. She was nervous because she felt embarrassed of her behavior, and embarrassed she had ever asked him to change her. Calla should have kept the desire to herself.
Jared gradually moved toward her, taking off his jacket and tossing it on a chair as he usually did. He then paced to the bed, sitting down next to her. Calla couldn’t seem to find the courage to speak, and tears were starting to gloss her eyes. She felt like such a mess. It wasn’t fair to make him r
esponsible for her happiness and she knew that. It wasn’t his fault that she was in the predicament she was in—Calla was. If anything, she should be grateful that he was still with her, giving her at least somewhere to belong. Jared turned to her, resting a hand on the bed behind her. “Listen, I—” he began.
Calla cut him off with a kiss on the lips. He didn’t resist it, slowly relaxing and kissing her back. Calla didn’t want him to apologize to her. He didn’t really have anything to apologize for. She pulled back and rested her forehead on his shoulder. “I’m sorry for the way I acted and the way I’ve been acting… It isn’t fair to you… You aren’t responsible for my happiness, and I should have never made it seem like you are. I’m sorry I’ve been such a baby…”
He enveloped her in his arms. It always strangely comforted her how cold he was. It was like it soothed all her aches and woes. His large hands ran up and down her back slowly, his cheek resting against the top of her head. “You’re not a baby. You have every reason to be upset. I hope you know I’m not mad about you asking me to—” He could feel her body tense, but knew they needed to talk about it. “To do that thing… And I wasn’t trying to shut you out, or anything by not coming outright with why I didn’t want to. I just… I don’t want to do something that you could end up regretting and undo. It’s not like getting a tattoo where you can cover it up and hide it or something. You couldn’t have kids and… That might be something you really want in life, and could still do someday. Acting rash is how mistakes are made. This isn’t a mistake I’m willing to make, Calla… I didn’t get to choose this. I’m not sure anyone should choose to be this…”
Calla shook her head and peeled back from his shoulder to look up at him. “You make it sound like you’re a monster, when you’re not—” Jared scoffed and averted his eyes. Calla grabbed ahold of his face. “You’re not. You know that, right?”
Jared still tried to avoid making eye contact with her, but Calla moved her head in each direction he darted his eyes. When his blue eyes finally cut into hers, his eyes were glossy with emotion and his expression settled into a somber look. “I know you mean well when you say that. But what you see isn’t the real me. This is layers and layers of conditioning and restraint. If it weren’t for consuming cold blood… The family would be a whole other level of deadly. We are beasts underneath it all. We’ve just conditioned ourselves to walk among the humans. Vampires don’t have shadows, can’t show up on film, can’t go in the sunlight, have a heartbeat…”
Calla sat up on her knees and moved over into his lap, putting her arms around his neck. “So just because I can’t take a picture of you, or feel your heart beating, it makes you a monster?” she questioned. “There are a lot of humans out there who don’t have your strength or your degree of primal urges, who choose to kill and do other despicable things. Being a monster isn’t something that you just are, it’s the choices you make and the things you do. Nothing you do, in my eyes, classifies you as a monster.”
He held her in his lap, studying the details of her face. “You see me through some pretty rosy lenses, don’t you?” he questioned with a faint smile.
She shook her head, “I see you for what you are, not what you’ve been telling yourself you are for a century and a half.” Calla scratched the back of his lightly as she contemplated her next words. “I also didn’t ask you to change me out of some sudden urge to be a vampire or anything… But after a lot of thought while being by myself. Tessa isn’t coming back, no matter how much Kristian and I want her to. The Firehaven aren’t ever going to allow me back without allowing Tessa back first. You and your family have been more kind than any other group has treated me, and that’s even including the many weeks that Kristian hated me. And… and even though we’ve only been together for months instead of years, I know what I feel for you is real. It’s like fate wanted me to make the stupid decision to follow Deidre, just so I could find you. Even though I feel lost, I know I have you. I know I want to be with you always. As for the having kids thing… The way I see it is, there’s plenty of people already on this planet. I don’t need any myself. Besides, you say it like I’m going to leave you just to have that. I’m not. I love you, Jared.”
“I love you too… More than I’ve ever been able to express,” he breathed, rubbing his thumbs into her hipbones. Jared leaned his forehead against hers, flickering his eyes closed as he breathed in the scent of the soap and shampoo that permeated from her. There was something else on his mind, Calla could feel it. The longer he held her, the more he courageous he became. “I suppose I feared that we would drift apart over time, that maybe no love is actually forever…”
It was such a tender confession that Calla didn’t know how to react at first. Jared was a very reserved man. While he had become more and more open with her about his feelings and his past, he had never really opened up about fears like that. He was afraid that what happened with Bridget, would happen with them. Calla brushed her lips against his and felt his hands tighten on her hips. “I’m not going to leave you for some other vampire or witch or anything else. I know I can’t exactly see into the future to tell you that, but I know I feel it. That we’ll be together forever. We simply go together too well not to. Don’t you know to always trust a witch’s intuition?” she asked with a smile pulling up from the corners of her lips.
His stunning eyes opened to peer directly into the depths of hers. Jared looked like he wanted to say something, but couldn’t find the words. Without any other way to express what he was feeling, Jared closed the gap between them and kissed her deeply. She savored the kiss and the feeling of his prickly cold arms around her. His lips parted slightly, and then she felt his teeth grazing her bottom lip. Calla’s heart leaped into her throat. It amazed her how even after spending so much time together, he still thrilled her. The kind of familiar he was, was the best kind. The kind that never got old, that always made you feel safe and secure. She would never tire of him.
Jared began to move over her, picking her up easily by the hips as her arms wrapped around his neck and her legs around his hips. Their lips never left one another’s, kissing endlessly, as though they would never have another opportunity. His chilly hands then groped her chest lightly through her thin cotton shirt. He pinched her nipples softly, making her breath catch in her throat. Jared’s hands then reached underneath her shirt, his fingertips brushing up her stomach and then circled around her supple breasts before finally massaging the sweet flesh. Calla bucked her hips upward, pressing her sex to his groin. She could feel his hard-on pressing against the fabric of his pants, making her all the more eager.
Jared moved his hands from her chest to take off his own shirt and then unfastened his pants before moving back over her. He lifted the fabric of her t-shirt to her collarbone, lowering his face to her chest. He flicked his tongue over one of her rosy nipples before taking it into his mouth and sucking on it. Calla reached down and shrugged down his boxers and his pants, springing free his member. Her hand wrapped around his shaft and started to tug on him gently. He leaned into her touch at first, before deciding to pull back completely. Jared released her nipple and moved all over her chest, kissing and sucking, while one hand moved between her legs. His fingertips traced the hem of her panties before sliding underneath them and pressing into her sex. Calla gasped, her nails scraping against the back of his neck.
Jared’s fingers slid in and out of her steadily. Her sex was already wet from anticipation, so the fingering made her squirm. He kicked off his pants the rest of the way before moving his pelvis to line up with hers. Calla moved her hips upward to help him, and gripped to him yet again when he pushed the tip inside. Jared moved away from her chest and captured her lips. Calla kissed him back lovingly and deeply, pushing her tongue into his mouth. He wrapped his fingers around the fabric of her panties and pulled, effortlessly ripping the fabric and pulling them from her body. She never seemed to own one pair very long. Her legs locked around him as he slowly started to pump int
o her. The fine hairs all over her body stood up at the feeling of his cold skin against hers.
She couldn’t believe that she had stayed so upset and embarrassed for an entire week. It had been a full week since she had felt his touch so intimately. It was as long as they had ever gone without since they started sleeping together in the first place. Calla appreciated that he hadn’t held it against her, and didn’t make her feel like she owed him anything from acting the way she did. Jared’s large hands stroked her thighs softly as he ravished her. Pulling back from the kiss, Calla pecked along his jaw and started down his neck, licking him every so often. He craned his neck in the other direction to give her better access. She nibbled at his dark skin as he pushed into her rhythmically, occasionally throwing her focus. Calla worked her way up to his ear and grazed it with her teeth.
He moaned and pushed into her harder, making her gasp. Calla’s hips rocked against his, pushing into his movements. Jared buried his face into the skin of her shoulder as he held her carefully. Her sex tightened around him, and she began to rotate her hips with each little thrust she gave. Jared squeezed her tightly, having to take several deep breaths to control his excitement. When he finally eased his grip, Jared pulled back from her neck and rested his forehead against hers. “Did you really think we’ree going to be together forever?” he asked her in a breathless whisper, never breaking the movement of his hips.
Calla’s cheeks reddened and she nodded, “I do.”
“Forever?” he asked again, staring down into her olive hues.
She didn’t back down, “Forever.”
Jared bit down on his lip, as though he was debating something mentally. He pecked her lips and rubbed his nose up and down the length of hers. “Give me one year,” he said to her softly. “Give me one whole year, and I’ll change you… Just one year… To compromise…” he explained to her, his voice becoming mixed with moans at the very end of his thought.