by Abby Brooks
“It’s been pretty amazing to watch his transformation,” Evie said, with a questioning look my way.
I nodded, blinking and dabbing at the tears. “And seeing how much better Alex is with you in his life?” I let out a shaky breath as I gave Evie a watery smile. “You two have been so good for my guys. And for me too. I am so, so glad you decided to move to Wildrose Landing.”
And then, for no reason at all, I was all out crying.
I stepped down off the chair I’d been standing on and dropped into it, propping my head in my hands. “I’m so sorry,” I managed as the tears kept falling.
Amelia put a hand on my back as Evie crouched in front of me.
“Izzy. Sweetie.” She craned her neck to meet my eyes, a comforting palm on my knee. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s fine. I’m fine. I have no idea why I’m crying. I’ve just been so emotional lately.” I wiped my eyes and swept my hair back from my face. “It’s probably PMS.”
And that was when it hit me.
Right there.
Sitting in a chair in my friend’s kitchen, crying because a little girl had gotten a year older and my friends were finally happy.
This couldn’t be PMS.
My period was supposed to come a week ago.
My jaw dropped and I blinked in shock, staring into my friends’ faces.
Amelia furrowed her brow. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m late.”
“I didn’t know you had somewhere to go.”
“No. I mean…I’m late.” I raised my eyebrows and widened my eyes. “I was supposed to start my period a week ago.”
Both my friends sat back, their faces going slack. “Oh…” they said in unison.
“Aren’t you on the pill?” asked Evie after a beat.
I shook my head. “I have a really hard time with medication in general and haven’t found one that didn’t mess with me. Since I basically never date, I kinda took a hiatus on putting myself through the torture of finding one that doesn’t make me feel awful…but Jude definitely used a condom.”
“So you’re fine then. Maybe you’re just stressed out…” Evie turned to Amelia who shook her head, smiling bigger than the situation warranted.
“I’m thinking you’re getting smacked in the face with another sign.”
I sighed. “If I’m pregnant, I wouldn’t call that a sign so much as I’d call it really, really shitty timing.” I stood and strode to the window, pressing my head against the cool glass. “I’m twenty-seven years old. I run a business. I live alone and I like it that way. I can’t even keep a plant alive…what am I going to do with a child?”
“Maybe we’re jumping the gun here,” Evie said. “You don’t even know you’re pregnant.”
I nodded. “This is true.”
But I did know. I could feel it in my bones. This certainty. This knowing. This awareness of a new beginning.
Tearing my focus away from the glittering snow, I stared helplessly, then let out a long breath. “You know what? We don’t have time to worry about this. Jack will be back with the kids soon and there’s no way I’m ruining a seven-year old’s surprise party.”
“Izzy…”
“Nope.” I painted on a smile, grabbed a spool of hot pink streamers, and climbed onto the chair. “Today isn’t about me. Let’s get this show back on the road.”
After Charlie’s party, I stopped by the drugstore to pick up a pregnancy test, then drove straight home and disappeared into the bathroom. The instructions said I’d get results in five minutes, but I had them in two.
Decidedly pregnant.
I sat on the toilet, staring at two little lines on a pee-covered stick and didn’t know if I should laugh or cry. In the end, I made a sound that was a mix of both. Part of me was mortified. Terrified. Filled to the brim with how in the hell am I going to do this?
The other part?
There was this blip of expectation. This surge of longing. A shiver of happiness.
A baby.
The beginnings of a new person, filled with hopes and dreams and passion…
I placed a hand on my stomach, swimming in these feelings that cycled so quickly I couldn’t name them all, and just breathed through the moment.
I’d promised my friends I’d call as soon as I knew anything, but I wasn’t ready to invite them into this quite yet. Not when I didn’t know how I felt. Or what to say. Or what to do.
They would bombard me with questions and the only thing I knew for certain was that a little piece of me and Jude had taken root and was growing, changing, becoming.
So I sat there, my elbows on my knees as I rubbed my pointer fingers over my thumbnails and stared at the floor.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Izzy
After twenty minutes and three curious texts from Evie and Amelia, I invited them over. I needed to talk my way through how I was feeling and didn’t want to do it over the phone or through messages. They arrived together, wearing identical looks of concern as they stood on my porch in the setting sun. Amelia had a grocery bag draped over a wrist and Evie clutched a bouquet of flowers and what looked like a photo box to her chest.
“I feel like it’s a bad sign that you had us come over, so I brought these to cheer you up,” she said with a sweet smile, hefting the items in her arms. “Flowers to brighten the mood, and some old pictures of Jude from high school, just in case you need a reason to laugh.”
Amelia quirked her head. “Or maybe it’s a good sign? Either way, we come bearing ice cream, brownies, and some tortilla chips just to add that dash of saltiness in there.” She hefted the bag of goodies and I stepped aside to let them in. They wordlessly moved into the living room and perched on the sofa while I stood in the doorway, chewing my nails.
I needed to say something.
To do something.
They’d been good enough to drop everything and rush to my side, the least I could do was let them know why they’d done it.
With a nod, I took a deep breath, let it out…
…and went into the kitchen to get spoons.
“I feel like this news is best digested over ice cream, and the stupid pictures of Jude were an inspired idea,” I said when I returned. “Because I’m definitely pregnant.”
Evie’s eyes widened. “Okay, then.”
“Oh, wow.” Amelia bobbed her head as she fished in the bag and handed me a pint of cookie dough. “And how are we feeling about this?”
“Angry.” I grabbed the ice cream and sat cross-legged on the floor to yank off the lid.
Her smile deflated. “Of course.”
“But also a little excited.”
The smile reinflated. “I totally get that. I’d be so over the moon if I ever found out I was pregnant. I mean, four kids would be a lot, but I always wanted a big family and…” Evie elbowed her in the rib. “Right. Sorry. This is about you.” She handed Evie a pint, cracked hers open, and dug in. “I’m sorry I got carried away.” She offered me an apologetic smile and I shook my head.
“Don’t even worry about it. I’m gonna be rambling all over the place tonight too. I have no idea how I feel about anything.” I dug at a frozen piece of cookie dough. When it didn’t immediately succumb to my spoon, I stabbed, stabbed, stabbed again, then put the pint onto my knee with a growl. “One thing’s for sure, I’m gonna murder Jude so hard, he’ll never know what hit him. Then, just to make my point, I’ll bring him back to life and murder him again.”
“Totally. I get that.” Evie nodded slowly as she studied my expression. “Although this whole thing isn’t completely his fault.”
I snorted laughter as I rolled my eyes. “I did my very best at not being alone with him for eleven years. The second he charms me into dropping my guard, this happens.”
“Of course. Right. It’s definitely all his fault.” Evie glanced warily at Amelia. “What was I thinking?”
“Can you imagine what my parents will say?” I met my sister-in-law’s eyes and
wished she’d been around my whole life, because then she’d understand. I wouldn’t have to explain how hard it was to grow up in my brother’s shadow.
“What could they possibly say that isn’t positive? You’re a successful woman, Iz. A baby isn’t gonna change that.”
I shook my head. “I’ve never been good enough for them. I mean, with bestselling author Alexander Prescott setting the bar so freaking high, I was a disappointment from the start. There he was, year after year, doing more and more amazing things. Even at my best, I live in his shadow. Now, I’m pregnant and I’m not even dating the dad.” I stared into my ice cream. “And before you say anything, I know I’m too old to care what my parents have to say.”
“Except I don’t think we ever stop wanting to impress the people that matter, right?” Amelia shook out her long, blonde hair. “And of course your parents matter.”
Evie dug her spoon into her ice cream. “So what are you going to do?”
And there it was.
The question I didn’t have an answer for.
I shook my head. “I don’t know. It’s not like I’ve had a lot of time to think about it and I one hundred percent never thought I’d find myself in this situation.”
Only, as soon as I spoke the words, I knew at least part of what I wanted to do.
“I’m gonna keep the baby,” I said, swirling my spoon around the rim of the pint. “That much I know for sure.”
My friends nodded and silence settled on our little group. There was so much to unpack. So much to figure out. My whole life just flipped upside down and I was sitting on the floor in my living room, eating ice cream in the wreckage.
“You know what you should do? Take Jude up on his offer.” Evie chuckled as she folded her legs underneath her.
“Can you imagine?” Amelia joined her laughter. “Just be like, I decided to take mercy on you and be your wife for whatever reason you have that Izzy won’t tell her friends.” She gave me a pointed look before continuing, “PS. I’m pregnant. Surprise! We’re a family!”
They guffawed like it was the most hilarious idea they’d ever had, but hope sprang to life in my heart.
A marriage of convenience was a stupid idea, but he’d been the one to suggest it first. And his reason for suggesting it wasn’t really stupid at all. But now, if we got married, not only would he be more likely to get custody of Brennen, but our baby could grow up in a household with both parents. Sure, our relationship would be a little different than other couples, but the more I thought about the idea, the more I liked it. With so many marriages ending in divorce, who wanted to be conventional anyway?
We could raise our child together. As…friends. That was more than a lot of parents could say. There was the sneaky little problem that I was in love with him, but I’d made it this far pretending I wasn’t. Marriage vows wouldn’t change that.
At least not much.
“What’s got you smiling so big?” Evie asked.
“I think you guys are onto something. I think I’m about to become Isabelle Malone.”
Evie’s jaw dropped as Amelia smiled. “I knew this whole thing was the start of something amazing. Your higher self knows what’s best for you. Just sit back and enjoy the ride, sweetness.”
“You know what I’m ready to enjoy? Some pictures of Jude looking stupid.” I made grabby hands for the photo box. Evie lifted the lid and handed it my way.
While I’d hoped to find a bunch of bad fashion decisions and questionable haircuts to make me laugh, the contents of the box subverted my expectations. Sure, we giggled over more than a few ridiculous outfits, but the story that unfolded surprised me.
Evie studied one of the pictures. “Do you see the way Jude looks at you,” she asked as she handed it to me. “And it’s not just in this one, but every time he doesn’t know he’s in the shot, he looks like this.”
The picture was one of those typical brother/sister poses, just me, leaning against Alex with the biggest, goofiest grin. His arm was thrown around my shoulder and our heads were touching, but in the background, a teenage Jude stared at me with…what was that?
“He looks starstruck, doesn’t he?” Amelia said as she took the picture from me.
Evie leaned in to stare at the image and nodded. “He looks like he’s in love.”
“Yeah, but no.” I scoffed. “Jude made it clear that wasn’t the case.”
But as we continued to flip through the pictures, I found him staring at me like that time and again. “What’s it mean?” I asked.
Amelia arched a brow. “I think it means there’s more to Jude’s feelings for you than meets the eye. At least there was ten years ago.”
“But that’s not true. It just can’t be. He made it so clear…” I stared at my friends, trying to decide how much to share then decided to hell with it. I needed to get this off my chest. “There was this night…when I was sixteen…”
Alex had come home from college for the weekend and invited Jude over to visit. Alex fell asleep, which left Jude and me to talk late into the night. I’d had a crush on him since we were kids, but never once had he made me think he saw me as anything but Alex’s annoying little sister. But that night he flirted. He smiled at me the way I’d always wanted him to. Listened to me like I was interesting. Told stories I’d never heard before. And then, he kissed me. My first kiss, and it happened to be with the guy I’d fantasized about for years.
“One thing led to another,” I continued, “and we were making out and I was ready to give him my virginity. I mean, it was Jude, you know? But he put on the brakes so fast, he practically ran away from me. He said Alex would kill him if he ever found out and made me swear to keep it a secret. He was weird around me for a day or two, but then went back to acting like everything was normal. If he loved me, things would have been different.”
I took the picture from Evie and shrugged, then tossed it back in the box and shut the lid.
“Did you guys ever talk about it?”
“Jude’s not exactly a talk it out kinda guy. I just shoved my feelings down deep and pretended nothing happened. And look how that worked out for me. Here I am, pregnant from a one-night stand, considering a fake proposal from a guy with a history of breaking my heart.”
I tried to sound sarcastic. Flippant. But the giant smile on my face ruined the effect.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Jude
My doorbell rang, shattering a perfect Sunday morning. From my place on the couch, I eyed the front door like I would a shifty stranger. The only time people came to my house unexpectedly was when they were trying to sell me something, or delivering something I’d already bought. I wasn’t expecting a package. It was the wrong season for the Girl Scouts and judging from the frosty scene outside my window, too chilly for them to be out there anyway.
I grabbed my coffee and considered pulling on a shirt, but the doorbell rang again, followed by three sharp knocks. Someone sure was impatient. Didn’t they know Sunday mornings were for taking things slow and gentle and easy?
Whatever.
If whoever was out there was scandalized by a shirtless man, then they didn’t belong on my porch in the first place.
I sipped my coffee as my bare feet slapped against the hardwood flooring I’d installed earlier this year, then pulled open the door to reveal Izzy impatiently shifting her weight from foot to foot. Her dark hair poked out of a beanie pulled down low, which somehow made her red lips all the more luscious. A black scarf wrapped around her throat and her hands were shoved into her coat pockets. Something about her had always reminded me of a sexy Snow White, and this morning, it was really doing it for me.
Her eyes bounced down my torso then back to my face. “Jesus, Jude. Put on a shirt already.”
“You’re the one knocking on my door at the butt crack of dawn. You get what you get, is what I say.” I swung open the door and moved aside, shivering as the air hit my chest. “Coffee?”
Izzy shook her head. “No thanks.”
As I quickly shut the door, her gaze swept around my house as if she was taking stock of everything I owned. There was a kind of judgement there, an appraisal, something deeper than a friend stopping by unannounced for who knew what on a Sunday morning.
“I’ve never noticed how tidy you are,” she said as she yanked off her beanie. Her hair spilled around her face and she ran her fingers through it to comb it out. “And the new floors really work. You take good care of your place for a single dude.”
“For a single dude?” I scoffed. “I take good care of my place, period.”
My stepdad had this amazing ability to just know how to fix a thing. Floors. Faucets. Drywall. You name it, Tim could fix it. Growing up, if something around our house needed repairing, he was on it, usually with me at his side. My help came with a lot of reluctance when I was younger, but as I got older, I soaked up all the knowledge he had to offer. And now? I appreciated the confidence it gave me when it came to taking care of my own home.
Izzy took a deep breath and sucked in her lips as she stared through me for a long moment. She started to speak, then shook her head and met my gaze. “You know,” she said, fidgeting with the ends of her scarf, “on second thought, I’d love something to drink.”
“You got it.” I headed for the kitchen, then paused. I’d been told before that my coffee should come with a disclaimer and didn’t want to send her into caffeine overload. “I make my coffee strong, so you might want to consider cutting it with some sugar or cream.”
“Oh.” Her brows drew together. “Shit. Umm…that wouldn’t happen to be decaf, would it?”
I recoiled. “What are you, crazy? Who in their right mind drinks decaf?”
“What about herbal tea?” She grimaced and held out her hands. “You know what? Never mind the drink. I don’t want to be difficult. Which, I realize is ridiculous because I’m here at your house, unannounced, at nine in the morning on a Sunday. Though really, it’s what you get after, well, you know, everything.” She had this crazed energy that wasn’t like her. Isabelle Prescott was, and always had been, cool, confident, and just the right amount of grounded.