by Abby Brooks
“So I’m just gonna leave all my stuff in my house?” She sounded less enthused about the idea than I’d hoped.
I shrugged. “Why not? We can figure out what to do with it all later.”
Izzy blinked as she tried to come up with an argument, then turned up her palms and let out a surprised little giggle. “Okay, then. Tomorrow it is.” She clapped her hands together. “I can’t believe I’m actually excited to move out of my house at the spur of the moment.”
And I couldn’t believe how excited I was to have her move into mine.
“What’s this I hear? You guys are moving in together?” Evie asked from just behind us.
Izzy and I nodded as the rest of the gang approached to hear the news.
“Dang, man. Another one bites the dust.” Austin folded his meaty arms over his chest while Amelia grinned.
“You guys are gonna be so happy together,” she said. “Unconventional or not, I see nothing but good things for you guys in the future.”
Oddly enough, I agreed with her. Two months ago, I couldn’t fathom seeing myself shackled to the same person for the rest of my life. But if that person was Izzy? Maybe the whole married-with-children future wasn’t as bleak as I originally thought.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Izzy
“This feels more like packing for an overnight,” I said to Evie as I pulled a bunch of sweaters from my closet and placed them in my suitcase. “It lacks permanence. Or something.”
Last night, the idea of moving in with Jude had whipped through my senses with the air of newness and excitement. Today, things felt more nervous and uncertain. I loved my house. My bed. My comforter and all the matching pillows. I was happy here. Did I really want to give it up to live in Jude’s guestroom? What if I wanted a midnight snack? Or to walk out of the bathroom in my underwear? Would his house ever feel like my home?
“I get that.” Evie bobbed her head as she handed me a pile of jeans I’d stacked on the bed. “But just because you’re leaving a bunch of stuff now, doesn’t mean you can’t come and get it later.”
“That’s what I was thinking when I agreed. But now that I’m actually doing it, it just feels…”
What? What was I feeling? And why couldn’t I put a name to it? The stupid pile of jeans wouldn’t fit in the suitcase properly and I shoved them a little harder to squish them into submission. When that didn’t work, I shoved again. And again. Then once again a little harder before I puffed out my lips with a frustrated sigh.
“Can I ask you something?” Evie asked, perching on the edge of my bed.
I glared at the jeans before swiping a hand through my hair. “Sure. Hit me with it. What’s on your mind?”
“How are you doing with all this? You’ve had a crush on Jude forever and now here you are, having his baby, moving into his house. I’ve tried to imagine how I would feel if I was in your shoes and I have a mini breakdown every time I get to that magical proposal. You must be so confused.” Evie’s gentle smile said she knew I must be struggling. “How are you holding up?”
I’d tried to avoid that question from the moment I agreed to become Mrs. Jude Preston Malone. Maybe it was time to stop avoiding it. Maybe it was time to face all my conflicted feelings and sort things out.
Cautiously, I sat on the bed and stared at my hands. “Confused kind of nails it. We promised to keep feelings out of the equation, which was stupid because I came into this whole thing with feelings. And it just keeps getting harder because we decided to make it look real, which means we hold hands and kiss and do all that loving couple stuff in public.”
Evie gave me a sympathetic look. “Which has to make it extra hard not to let your heart get more involved than it already is.”
“You have no idea. Like, none. But then, he holds my hand when there’s no one around. And he kisses me when it’s just us. And I swear, sometimes the way he looks at me…”
“It feels real?”
“It feels so real.” I covered my face with my hands because finally saying it out loud felt like breaking a rule.
Evie rubbed my back. “Oh, Izzy. It feels weird to say I’m sorry, but I am.”
Letting my hands slip back to my lap, I smiled sadly. “I don’t know if he’s starting to develop feelings for me too, or if he’s just so comfortable faking it that all the touching feels natural and he doesn’t realize he’s still doing it when it’s just us.”
“Have you talked about any of this with Jude?”
I shook my head. “I know I should, but he’s, I don’t know, closed off? He doesn’t really talk about himself or his feelings. The more I get to know him, the more I realize I don’t know as much as I should about someone I’ve been friends with for most of my life. I don’t know anything about his biological dad other than he wasn’t the best guy. I don’t know why he chose to open the bar, or why he’s never had a long-term relationship. I feel like I should know these things.”
“I’m a private person too, and it drove Alex crazy when we were dating,” Evie said. “For me, letting someone in makes me feel vulnerable. Exposed. And my anxiety gets all crazy because I’m positive I’m either going to let someone down, or they’re going to let me down.” She shrugged. “All I can say is go slow with him. He’ll let you in when he’s ready.”
“But what if he’s never ready? I’m about to marry this guy and have his baby. I’m packing my things to move in with him so we can adopt his little brother. What if all we ever have is this superficial relationship?”
That was what I signed up for, but after the last couple months, it wasn’t what I wanted. Not anymore. I wanted to relax the vice grip I’d clamped around my heart and finally let myself fall into love with Jude. Completely. Fully.
Mutually.
I wanted our game to be real.
“I really think you should talk with him about this,” Evie said. “He needs to know how you feel and you deserve a chance to get this all out in the open.”
I bobbed my head. “I’m sure you’re right. I just feel kind of stupid coming to him like ‘Hey, you know that perfectly platonic fake marriage you wanted with me? Well, I’ve been in love with you since I was sixteen and it’s only getting worse. How do you feel about that?’”
“There might be a better way to come out with it, sure.” Evie laughed as she stood, the bed squeaking as her weight shifted. “But hey, at least if you’re living together, you’ll have plenty of chances for the topic to come up naturally.”
“There is that.” I stood, ready to move the conversation to less confusing topics. “Now. If you were moving in with a guy you were about to marry, but you were gonna keep your house with all its stuff in it for some strange reason, what would you bring?”
I stared around my room one last time. So much for finding a less confusing topic.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Izzy
My suitcase was unpacked, my clothes hanging neatly in the closet in Jude’s guestroom. I’d remade the bed with my favorite sheets and comforter from home so the room would feel more like mine. The pictures, paintings, and knickknacks I loved the most had all found a place around the house, my feminine style mixing nicely with Jude’s masculine energy.
While I leaned on the counter, he moved comfortably in his kitchen, chopping vegetables like he’d gone to culinary school. Watching his strong hands work so subtly with the knife had me biting my lip as desire hummed through my body.
Really, Izzy? Now knifework does it for you?
“What can I do?” I asked, eager for a distraction.
“Not a damn thing.” Jude shook his head. “You’ve had a big day. The least I can do is prepare my fiancée a delicious meal full of nutrients to build our baby’s brain big and strong.”
You hear that, Little One? I smiled as I flattened a palm against my belly. Daddy’s already taking such good care of you.
“I’ll happily take you up on the offer.” I leaned my elbows on the counter and propped my head in my hands. �
��But only if you do it like you’re on a baking show.”
Jude paused in his chopping to process my request, then gave a little ‘what the hell’ shrug. “And now we’ll chop the onion to go into the risotto,” he said in a high-pitched voice with the most ridiculous accent I’d ever heard. “Be very careful not to get the juices in the eye or you will cry like a baby in front of the beautiful woman you’re trying to impress.”
“What is it with that accent?” I asked through laughter, which only spurred him on.
“After you have chopped the onion, start boiling water with a tablespoon of butter, but don’t forget to wash the onion off your hands or else she will cry like a little baby when you make sweet, sweet love to her later.”
The game continued as he cooked, narrating his way through the risotto and then the honey glazed salmon. Somewhere along the way, he found time to roast asparagus, then set the finished plate in front of me with a flourish.
“Holy crap, Jude,” I said, still laughing at his performance. “That was the best thing I’ve seen in a long time. I humbly request that all meals be cooked like that from this day forward.”
“As you command, so shall it be.” He pulled out his chair and took a seat. “As your humble Prince Charming—” He huffed a laugh as he spread his napkin in his lap. “I don’t watch enough of that fantasy shit to know how to finish that sentence.”
I took a bite of salmon and moaned my approval. “Oh my God. This is so good.” I took another bite. “When did you learn to cook?”
“Tim taught me that anything worth doing is worth doing well.” He shrugged as if he’d perfectly explained everything.
The risotto tasted just as delicious as the salmon, and even the asparagus was tasty, which was a testament to his ability in the kitchen. Asparagus and I never got along. We ate, talking and laughing, and I relaxed into his company. When we finished dinner, I cleared the dishes while he scooped butter pecan ice cream into two bowls, then carried them into the living room where he lit a fire and we curled into his couch. Our spoons clinked against the bowls as we watched the flames.
It was nice. Like, so nice. I could see our whole future spreading out ahead of us like this. Add Brennen. The baby. Maybe a dog…
And then we’d go to bed in our separate rooms like any normal married couple. I laughed to myself, but even our unconventional approach didn’t ruin the daydream. Our future was lovely as it was.
Though maybe, if I got to know Jude a little better, it would be even lovelier.
After a few minutes of comfortable silence, I risked wandering into his past. “So your dad left before you were born?”
“My mom left him.” Jude slipped a spoonful of ice cream past his lips and I tried not to stare. How in the world was he so freaking hot all the time? “I’ve always respected her for it.”
“Because she could see things weren’t going to work and took action?”
“Exactly,” he said with a bob of his head. “Instead of tying herself to a worthless asshole for the rest of her life, she decided we’d be better off just the two of us.” He shrugged as he ran his spoon around his bowl. “Raising a kid is hard on your own, but she did it. And she was damn good at it.”
I bobbed my head. “It seems like she was. You’re a great guy, Charming.”
Now would be the perfect time to bring up the topic of my feelings for him, but I just couldn’t find the right way to move the conversation in that direction. It was one thing to dig into the past, but to leap right into the future? Nope. No way. I wasn’t ready to go there yet. Why ruin a perfectly good day by admitting I’d fallen in love after promising I wouldn’t?
“You know what is just so wild to me?” Jude placed his empty bowl on the coffee table. “You’ll be entering the second trimester right around the time we get married.”
This whole thing was happening so quickly, concepts like ‘second trimesters’ and ‘weddings’ sounded absurd. Just a couple months ago, my life had been sane and stable. Now? I was living with Jude Malone, of all people.
“I’m just glad Dr. Windsor said things were looking okay at our last appointment. I’ve been a little more tired than usual, but she said that was completely normal.”
Jude leaned forward and pressed his ear against my stomach. “What’s that you say, little one? Of course things are normal?” He nodded his exaggerated agreement then pretended to listen for a response. “That’s right. You are a Malone and we are definitely excellent genetic specimens.”
Laughing, I stretched to sit my empty bowl next to his. “Oh man, what am I gonna do with two Malones?”
“Two?” he asked as he sat up. “Try again, Sweet Snow. There’s gonna be four of us. Me, Brennen, you, and the baby.”
Mrs. Isabelle Malone. I loved the sound of that.
Jude’s gaze felt like a caress as it wandered around my face. “Have you thought of any names, yet?”
“Not yet. Though in my defense, I’ve been just a tad preoccupied with planning a fake wedding. What about you? Any name ideas floating around up there?”
A smile quirked his lips as he cocked his head and threw an arm over the back of the couch. “Oh yeah. I’ve got this covered. Prepare to be dazzled, babe.”
“Really? Just like that, huh?”
“I was thinking, if it’s a girl…Esmerelda.” Jude flared his hands and grinned expectantly.
I stared for a long moment. “Please tell me you’re joking.”
“No on Esmerelda? Have to say I’m surprised.” His over-the-top sigh said he wasn’t surprised at all. “What about Gertrude? Helga? Matilda?”
“Why don’t we try thinking about boy names for a bit,” I said through a laugh.
“Oh, that’s easy. Frederick. Strong. Masculine. To the point.”
“I don’t think there’s anything to the point about Frederick.”
Jude pretended to pout. “I guess that means naming our child will be up to you.”
“So not only do I have to carry the baby, but I have to name it too? Is this how life is gonna be for us, Charming? Me doing everything while you crack jokes?”
“Hey. I did the funny voice while I cooked and came up with four perfectly normal baby names. I don’t know what else you want from me.” He lifted an arm, inviting me to snuggle close and I accepted, closing my eyes and breathing deeply as I leaned against him.
The fire snapped and a log shifted, sending a shower of sparks up the chimney. I watched the display, contentment seeping through my limbs.
“Jude?” I angled my face towards his.
“Hmm?” He met my gaze.
“This is nice.”
He bobbed his head. “It is.”
I don’t know which of us moved first, but his lips met mine and my body came to life. I pressed a hand to his chest, then slid it along his cheek and into his hair. The fire popped again as I pulled myself into a sitting position and straddled him.
“This is nicer,” I murmured against his mouth.
He nodded, his hands pressed against my lower back. “Definitely nicer.”
The kiss deepened, his tongue dancing with mine, my teeth catching his lip. I slid my hand into his hair, smiling as his erection ground into me. Pushing back to meet his gaze, I rolled my hips as the first jolt of pleasure throbbed low and wonderful in my core.
“Izzy…” His voice was sex. A growl. A command. His desire singed my skin as his mouth claimed mine.
I answered him by slipping my hands under his shirt and trailing my fingers across his chest, then kissing along his jawline, his stubble scraping my lips as I made my way to his ear. “I want you, Jude,” I whispered.
He pulled back, his gaze hooded and full of need. “Are you sure?”
I nodded. “I’m so fucking sure I don’t know why we aren’t naked yet.”
Eyes burning, Jude gripped the back of my neck, pulling me in for another kiss as he thrust his hips upward, his dick grinding against my clit. I moaned into his mouth, regretting my choice
of jeans for the evening because I wanted more friction, more feeling…more Jude, more.
“You don’t know how hard it’s been to keep my hands off you.” He tugged my shirt over my head and trailed his fingers down my back as he nuzzled my breasts, sucking and biting the tender flesh. I tilted my head back, my hair dancing down my spine as I reveled in the contact, my hips rolling and bucking against his tortured cock.
“Whose stupid idea was it to avoid all the sex stuff anyway?” I finally said, my hands pressed to his chest.
He gripped my hips, rocking them forward. “At this point, I don’t even care.” With one swift movement, he deposited me on the couch beside him, then knelt in front of me, unbuttoning my jeans and giving them a tug. I lifted up to slide them down and he spread my knees, pulling me closer.
“Jude…”
He silenced me by kissing first one thigh, then the other, then drawing his tongue along my core. I gasped, arching my back, pressing forward, desperate for more, Jude, more.
I’d waited so long for this, I’d nearly lost my mind, denying myself the one thing I’d always wanted.
Him.
He slid a finger inside me, sucking my clit into his mouth while I gasped my approval.
Blissful agony rose inside me as I ached for him to fill me. To claim me. To show me how much he needed this, too.
“I want you,” I panted.
“You have me,” he replied.
I met his hungry eyes as he lowered his face to my cleft, then slipped another finger inside. My body detonated with a climax that had me shrieking his name, eyes rolling, lids fluttering, muscles clenching.
Ecstasy dancing like fireflies captured in mason jars.
As my thighs quivered, Jude sat back, smiling as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “I like watching you come.”
As I spiraled back to Earth, he stood, then took my hand and pulled me off the couch. I trailed behind, certain we were heading for the bedroom…right until we detoured into the kitchen.