A small bell shook to life as they stepped into the cool air. The fact that the area was bathed in a soft blue light meant it took a moment or two before his eyes began to adjust, and when they did the first thing he noticed was the fish tanks. Not the kind that held bored gold fish or handful of guppies, but two massive marine tanks that each must have been at least six foot long and almost as high. In the middle of the tanks was a small counter, and to their left a series of leather sofas positioned around a glass coffee table. From his position behind the tanks a slightly overweight man looked up with obvious surprise. Scruffy hair was bunched at his shoulders and thin rimmed glasses rested upon a nose that looked as though it had been broken on more than one occasion.
“Well how you both doin?” he asked with a slight southern drawl while placing piles of papers into various boxes. “Something I might be able to help you with today?”
Vanessa simply ignored him and walked over to the tank on the left, sliding a slow finger across the glass as exquisitely luminous jellyfish gently swirled and bobbed in a mechanical tide. John took a step towards the counter and couldn’t help but notice slightly faded tattoos on several of his fingers. As he looked a little closer he thought he could see various dates etched into the skin.
“Actually,” he began, “I saw your sign out there and thought I might come in and ask a few questions. That is, if you don’t mind.”
“Asking questions is what separates us from the animals. Happy to help out if I can, but I should let you know I’m actually in the process of shutting the centre down.” He tapped one of the cardboard boxes. “Things don’t happen much without change. So what sort of questions ya got for me? You need directions or something?”
John shook his head politely. “I hate to be the guy that starts out with the obvious, but I was hoping you could fill me in a little on exactly what The Hallucigenia Project is. I tried to look a little online but there must be something wrong with your sites.”
“Like I said, we’re shutting down but... I guess you’re here now anyway.” The large man reached over and offered his ink stained hand. “Eric’s the name.”
There was strength in the handshake, the kind that John knew carried a promise of rising to the occasion when needed.
“So Eric, I’d love to know what happens in a place like this.” Now that John was looking into his eyes he could see that the left one was totally bloodshot. “Considering the name on the sign I figure you’re not selling surf gear.”
Eric enjoyed a deep laugh and placed his hands onto the counter. “No sir, we don’t sell surf gear. In fact we don’t really sell anything.” The laughter ceased as quickly as it had erupted. “Here at The Hallucigenia Project we give people the opportunity to bring true meaning into an existence that’s lost its way. We light up the stars across a sun drenched sky.”
“I’m not sure if I follow,” John smiled patiently.
“Well,” Eric began, “some people like to keep the curtains drawn on this crazy ride called life. They’re happy to let in a few rays of sunshine every now and then, but otherwise they don’t want to know what’s happening on the other side. Then there are the people that are ready to draw the curtains back and stare into the mechanics behind the show, and we’re here to help with the transition. Truth, and I’m talking the real truth, has a way of getting right in there and turning things upside down. What about you sir, are you the type of guy that likes the dark in the room or are you wanting to reveal some of the light?”
John sensed that whatever he said next might mean the difference between continuing the conversation or being shown the door. With the bubbles slowly wobbling their way to the tops of the tanks and the soft blue light beginning to trick his mind into thinking it was still dawn he felt strangely calm, which was odd considering he was standing there listening to riddles.
“It’s a bit of both if I’m being totally honest,” he replied.
“If that’s the case, you’re on the cusp and ready for a sudden fall. The only real question is which side you tumble.”
“What are these?” Vanessa asked suddenly with her finger still pressed against the glass. “They’re kinda creepy looking.”
Eric pulled an asthma inhaler as if from nowhere and forced the chemicals down the back of his throat, his chest expanding and held tight for several seconds. “What you’re looking at is one of the deadliest creatures on the planet. The shock of the pain alone can stop your heart before the poison even has a chance to shut down your nervous system.”
“You being serious with me right now?” Vanessa asked with obvious surprise.
“Excuse the pun, but deadly serious. Those there are box jellyfish. Come across one of them in the water and you’re gonna have one helluva bad day.”
“I still say they’re creepy.”
“I think they’re stunning,” Eric replied defensively. “On one hand so gentle and fragile, and yet on the other they’re ancient genetic killing machines. They were here before us, and will probably be here long after us.” He turned his attention back to John with a slight sigh. “Look, I’d really like to delve into things with you, believe me. Here at the Project we’re always ready to invite new people into the family, but unfortunately, like I said, we’re shutting down. I’m sorry I can’t help out today.”
John felt the moment slipping from his grasp. They’d driven in the heat too long already to have to just walk back out the door. Why was it so bloody hard to get a straight answer? Maybe Eric thought he really had just wandered in from the street for a quick browse and didn’t want to waste his time, so he stepped a little closer to the counter to infer he wasn’t planning on leaving just yet.
“The thing is,” John said with conviction, “I’ll be attending a seminar for the Hallucigenia Project tomorrow night and it’ll make a lot more sense if I have an idea of what it’s all about. Any information you can offer would go a long way.”
Eric’s back straightened and eyes narrowed. “You’re going to the seminar?”
“I didn’t fly all this way for the beaches I can promise you. We’ve got plenty of those back home.”
“Wow man, I didn’t see that coming.” Eric smiled as though the rules had just changed in his favour. “You’re a pretty lucky guy considering the seminar is gonna be the last one. After that, things will be moving pretty quickly into the next phase.”
“That’s why I need your help.”
Eric nodded and walked behind one of the tanks before gesturing for John to take a seat. Once they were both comfortable, with Vanessa seemingly content to remain hypnotised by the aquatic display, Eric leaned forward and rested his arms across the tops of his knees.
“I’m sorry if I came off a bit standoffish John. There’s a whole lot happening right now and time is getting shorter by the minute, but considering you’ve got yourself a ticket to the chance to redefine your purpose on this blue spinning planet of ours I’ll help you out as best I can.” He took a moment to look down at the tattoos on his fingers. “Sooner or later, if you give things enough thought, the same word comes back over and over again like night follows day. Why. It’s as simple a question as you can get but let it grow and it’ll consume everything you do. It did for me, that’s for sure.”
“So,” he continued, “if you ask yourself why enough times, the world begins to look a whole lot different. Priorities and desires begin to shift, and the search for a tangible meaning starts to grow. That’s what we’re here for, what the Hallucigenia Project is built upon. Our mission is to help guide the new desires that come from peeking behind the curtains and offer a road map for purpose.”
John rubbed the burning skin of his neck and wondered if Eric was running on all cylinders. “So I guess what you’re saying is that the Hallucigenia Project helps people who might have lost their way a little? Like a support group or something?”
“There’s an abundance of support that much is true,” Eric confirmed, “but it’s not what you’d call a support gr
oup in the traditional sense of the word. What we are is a carefully chosen and tightly structured family with a very important job ahead. Don’t ask me what that job is though. I’m not at liberty to give out those kind of details and besides, you’ll find out soon enough at the seminar. What I can tell you is that our family is almost complete, and each and every one of us are bound together with the question why.” He took a moment to glance around the room and then shrugged his shoulders. “Usually I’d offer you a coffee or something, but just about everything’s been packed up already. Sorry about that.”
“Don’t sweat it,” John replied as Vanessa finally pulled her attention away from the jellyfish and fell into one of the sofas. Meanwhile, Eric checked his watch and took a deep breath before continuing.
“If you’ve asked yourself the right questions, and you’ve reached a point where day to day reality has become empty and without any sort of purpose, and you’re ready to start a whole new life, then we can help. If you’re ready to let go of so much you thought you knew and work towards a goal far greater than money and shiny things, our arms our wide open. We’re looking beyond this planet. Hell, we’re looking beyond our solar system! Tomorrow night you’ll come to a point where a decision will have to be made. Live and die for nothing, or die and live for something.”
John pursed his lips as though he understood, which of course he didn’t. Solar system? Living and dying? The conversations on the boat had been cryptic enough, and now he was bearing witness to another stream of words that didn’t seem to make any sense. Still, Eric had said that they were a family. At least now he was growing more confident in believing Sebastian was right when he’d said he’d be looking into a cult of some kind.
“If you don’t mind me asking, how did you get involved?” John asked.
“I was about to ask you the same question,” Eric laughed.
“My story isn’t very interesting,” John said with a shrug of his shoulders. “Things are running through a little bit of a rough patch right now. A few nights ago I stumbled across your website and something about it caught my interest. Figuring I had nothing to lose I signed up and jumped on a plane.” He lifted his arms and gestured around the room. “Now here I am.”
“Something tells me John that there’s more to it than that.” Eric smiled politely but his eyes seemed to broadcast a silent I know you’re hiding something. “It’s okay. We’ve only just met so there’s no obligation to bare your soul.”
“If I did there’s a good chance you’d kick me out the door.”
“Ha!” Eric laughed. “If we kicked people away for holding secrets we never would’ve got off the ground.” He let the statement drift across the room as his hands joined together, fingers interlocking. “How did I become involved? Hmm, not exactly a short answer to that one but I’ll do my best.”
John made himself a little more comfortable now that he knew the conversation was picking up steam. In the corner of his eye he could see the swirling rise of bubbles in the tanks and had to wonder why someone would want to keep such dangerous creatures as pets. Then again, he considered, they were pretty interesting to look at.
“Like any kid I copped my fair share of crap at school,” Eric began, “but I learned to just keep to myself. Things were easier that way, especially since I was the poorest brat on the block. Looking back I guess you could say I was your classic book worm, had one in my hands just about any time night or day. Books were my only friends really. Anyway,” he sighed, “things got bad in high school. You know what kids can be like. The strongest go for the weak without any care for the damage being done. Got to stage it was a miracle if I could make it home without blood on me somewhere.”
“I think we were all little shits at one point or another,” John offered, and then almost instantly wished he could hit rewind.
“Doesn’t make anything right though.”
“No, I guess it doesn’t.”
“So one day I’m heading home from the library and there was like four of them. To this day I don’t know why they had it in for me so bad. Hell, they didn’t even bother to say anything this time. Just started to lay into me, punching and kicking with a type of rage I hadn’t felt before, nothing like the usual crap I put up with. It was as if I’d killed their mothers or something.”
He stared down at the floor as lines pulled tight around his eyes. John didn’t see anger in his face though, only a vague sense of resignation.
“When I got back off the ground,” Eric continued, “one of them grabbed me by the throat and started squeezing. Looked at me with eyes that were emotionless, like a shark or something. I’d had enough though. I was sick of the same shit over and over again, and it was like a bomb went off inside me. I just unleashed with total rage, and I’m talking the type that’s been simmering and growing for a couple of years. Next thing I know I smash the side of his face with enough force that his feet give way and he goes dropping to the ground. There was a cracking sound and I thought it mighta been a bone in my hand, but then I looked down. His eyes were staring at nothing and there were small bubbles at the side of his mouth. The back of his head had slammed against the edge of the concrete gutter than ran along the road. Somehow, at that very moment, I knew he was dead.”
“Fucking hell,” John muttered.
“It sure spiralled into one, that’s for sure. Courts locked me away for three years. I was sixteen years old in an adult prison filled with animals that would cut you up and rape you while the blood splashed on the floor just to kill the boredom. I spent almost as much time in the medical ward as I did in the cell. Been sewn up more times than I can count and nearly lost an eye.” Eric raised a finger and pointed at his blood shot pupil. “I learned an important lesson inside. I learned that a human being has more blood lust than any other animal on the planet, and it ain’t got nothing to do with hunger. At least animals kill to survive. Those animals inside? They’re proof that society is being held together with very thin string.”
For the first time since he’d stepped through the door John actually understood what he was saying. Eric was right. Criminals were the manifestations of what happens when primal urges decide to throw away the rule book, and as far as John was concerned everyone was only a step or two away from flicking the switch. He’d seen it happen enough that was for damn sure.
“When I got out nobody wanted to give me a job,” Eric continued. “I was living in my parent’s basement and started to implode, was drinking until blackout just to switch off. Then I found heroin and at first I thought it was a miracle. A good shot let me sit there without wanting to claw my own skin off and actually brought a little sleep, but it didn’t last long. So one thing leads to another, and this is the result.” He raised his hands so that John could see the ink etched into his fingers. “Each one of these eight dates is a day I tried to kill myself. Don’t ask me how or why, but for some reason I was never able to do the job properly. After the last effort, when I was in the hospital, a woman came to see me. I’d never met her before but she started talking and asking a few questions, and that’s when I learned that death has a value. She helped me to see that there’s a higher sense of purpose that has a special place for me, needs me. So here I am, ready for the shift in everything that we know.”
John could almost feel the words draw at the air as though struggling to breathe and live for just a little longer. A sense of pain and regret gently floated across the coffee table. Beside him, Vanessa held her lips tight and was visibly shocked at the tale that had just unfolded. John looked down at Eric’s fingers and tried to imagine the anguish and torment that each of the numbers represented.
“I’m glad you found a way to survive,” he said.
“It’s more than survival. The Hallucigenia Project opened my eyes and gave me the chance to look at this universe the way it truly is, to feel what she wants from me. But that’s my story and you’ve got your own, and now you’ve got the opportunity to find the value in death. It’s a bea
utiful day to open your eyes.”
“One thing’s for sure,” John said, “I won’t be missing the seminar.”
Eric smiled at the declaration and slapped his hands together. “Here’s something that’ll help you. It’s the same task I was given to unlock the door. Tonight when you’re alone with your thoughts, take a moment to look up at the moon. Take a real good look, and ask why. Why is it there? Tomorrow night you may get the answer and learn that death has a value John.” He paused before repeating one more time. “Death has a value.”
John had opened his mouth and was ready to ask what exactly the moon had to do with anything, but the chance for the words to form was stolen by a sudden blast of music that sent vibrations up through the floor and into his legs. Blistering fast guitar and machine gun double bass threatened to shatter the windows as a powerful engine revved hard several times and then disengaged.
Eric virtually jumped from his seat as the front door flew open. In stepped a towering figure dressed in camouflage patterned shorts and a black t-shirt that looked like it would have to be peeled off. His presence was made even more dramatic by the thick pink visible burn scars that ran the full length of his left arm and patchy sections of his neck. Small beads of sweat balanced across his shaved head, and his gate was slightly unbalanced thanks to a prosthetic attached below one of his knees. The look he gave John and Vanessa could have been one of mild annoyance or polite surprise. Eric on the other hand scrunched his face as though he’d been caught doing something he definitely shouldn’t have.
“Jesus Aaron, the world doesn’t need to know your taste in music,” he half stammered, half yelled while heading back to the counter. “And you weren’t even supposed to be here for another hour.”
Aaron lifted his shoulders as if to say whatever, I’m here now so just deal with it. “Who are they?” he asked with a stern, gravelly voice.
The Hallucigenia Project Page 13