Candice let out a long, slow sigh of disbelief.
“I’m real sorry to hear that John,” she said quietly.
“Yeah, it was a pretty rough time.” He played with the chicken on his plate. “Days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months and dad just couldn’t face up to the fact that she was gone. It got so bad he wouldn’t even get out of bed. He’d just lie there all day staring up at the ceiling. I didn’t know what to do, hell I was struggling to make sense of it all myself, and then one morning I walked in to check on him and he was lying there in a suit and tie with a letter resting on his chest, blue as the ocean on a summer’s day.”
He stared out through the window as the memory cut through the mental scars, then stabbed into a piece of meat and chewed slowly.
“That’s what real love is I guess,” he continued, “being willing to leave this world behind just to be together. I’m not going to sit here and tell you I understand what he did, or that I’ve made peace with the fact that he left me or anything like that, but I came to realize that the whole fucked up situation only happened because of two junkies who didn’t care about anything but keeping their high on a roll. So long story short I found myself alone and wanting to stop it happening to anybody else, and I ended up becoming a cop.” He finished chewing and a bitter laugh fell from his lips. “Carrying a badge didn’t exactly turn out like I thought it would, but that’s a whole different nightmare.”
Candice had stopped eating and kept her eyes fixed on John. On her lap Bobbie nuzzled her stomach for attention, while outside the wind seemed to have calmed even though the rain still fell from the heavens to shatter along the road.
“You sure know how to leave a girl lost for words,” she finally managed. “I respect you telling me though. I don’t know if I could have dealt with something like that, losing everything at that age.”
“It took a lot of time and a fuck ton of anger,” he explained, “but there came a point when I realized the world was a big place, that there were people out there going through a lot worse. And looking back I think it gave me the right kind of edge to work on the streets, helped me see things a little differently. Anyway,” he finished playing with his chicken and stuffed it into his mouth, “one thing leads to another, and here I am in Miami having lunch with a neuroscientist and being served by a crazy Cuban lady.”
“All roads lead to Rome huh?” Candice joked.
“Something like that.”
For the next several minutes they ate in silence and watched as the first rays of sun for the day began to tear through the thick black clouds. Slowly but surely the traffic outside became busier, but still no other customers walked through the door. Once Candice had her fill she let her cutlery fall to the plate and leaned back with obvious satisfaction. Beyond the window the rain finally fell still as the growing light revealed a soft sheen across the red of her hair.
“Do you mind if I ask you something?” she said, breaking the silence.
“Not at all.”
“Do you believe in destiny?”
John was caught off guard by the question and wondered what his answer should be, especially considering the only destiny he knew was a trail of broken things behind him.
“If you mean things happening for a reason I’m not really sure what I believe,” he answered honestly.
Candice slowly nodded her head as though she understood then leaned forward onto the table with her elbows.
“I used to think it was a crock of shit, all this talk about destiny and meaning. Jesus, spend ten minutes looking at the world and all you find is chaos and struggle with billions of lives just trying to make it through the day. Now though, now I’m not so sure there isn’t something more to it all, maybe some sort of subtle rhyme to the reason you know? Maybe that’s why you’re here, why you should stay and go back into the project. As fucking corny as it sounds, maybe there’s a reason you’re here.”
“Or maybe,” John responded with a smirk, “I’m just chasing a quick paycheque and free holiday.”
“It’s possible, but for some reason I doubt it.” She glanced at her watch and then peered through the window where broken sunlight was beginning to flash along the water. “You know what I love? The beach right after the rain. There’s a small window when you can have it all to yourself like a secret best friend.” She looked across the table with raised brows. “Feel like taking a walk with me?”
“As much as Maria’s charm has me scared to leave,” John replied, “sure, why not.”
Candice was quick to slide enough cash for three meals beneath her empty coffee cup and eased Bobbie back into his crate, expecting Maria to emerge for a chat at any moment. The counter, however, remained empty, and so with a shrug of her shoulders she lead John out into the steaming late morning with a sky fractured and brooding.
With Bobbie secured on the back seat of the car they strolled along a wet concrete pathway to the rain soaked sand. Candice kicked off her shoes and wiggled her toes with delight at the cool sensation as they walked towards the water. John took a deep breath and, for the first time since he’d arrived, felt a strange sense of calm. If this was going to be his last day in Miami then a stroll on the beach with a beautiful woman wasn’t exactly a bad way to finish.
For a while they wandered along the reach of the waves in silence, with towering buildings and palm trees glistening in the slivers of sunlight as gulls circled unseen treasures ready to be scooped. He watched Candice as she gently swirled her arms against the wind, strangely grateful to have found himself in such a moment of simplicity amidst the constant chaos, and quietly wished the walk along the beach could stretch out until the dying of the day.
“I used to spend a lot of time looking into a microscope,” Candice revealed as she paused to pick up a small shell. “Days on end I’d be zooming in on splices of brain matter and nervous systems, digging down deeper and deeper looking for anything that could so much as hint at how blind chance and time could lead to such a complex system.”
She lifted her face into the wind as a rumble of thunder echoed in the distance. A warm mist from the crashing waves decorated the air and brought salt against their lips.
“Like just about everyone else in my field,” she continued, “I didn’t subscribe to any sort of idea about intent or design having anything to do with it, cause we’re just a bunch of molecules that had a few hundred million years to stumble into place right? But then I would finally step out of the lab and take a walk along the water, just like this, and the size, the scale, the beauty, would just slam into my chest and rip my breath away and strip any sense of knowing I thought I had. Now… now I’m not sure what to believe, as though any step I take could see the ground split open and just swallow everything.” She ran a finger along the spiral lines of the shell and then tossed it into the water. “Every step we take now is a dance on a floor that’s just inches from oblivion.”
“And here I was enjoying the view,” John laughed.
“Sorry about that, I’m an expert at ruining a moment,” she giggled while dipping her toes in the water. “So I don’t see a ring on your finger, and I didn’t exactly have to drag you with me here, so I’m curious… you got someone special waiting for you back in Australia?”
“Damn,” John smirked, “from dancing on the edge of oblivion to subtle flirting. You don’t muck around.”
“Ha! The way I see things we’ve both managed to stumble into the middle of a storm that won’t be winding down any time soon, so considering what we might be heading into, and the fact I could listen to your accent all day, I figure it’s a fair question.”
“Then I’ll give you a fair answer,” he said as a surging wind rushed across the water. “There’s nobody back in Australia, not anymore. Just about the only person I have is curled up on your back seat.” He looked up to the sky and watched thick grey clouds shift and change. “And as for your storm, I think it will be gone soon enough.”
“If only th
is storm was all there was…”
“And what about you?” John asked. “A bare foot neuroscientist both beautiful and smart who works for the government and doesn’t think twice about bringing a cat to a café, my guess is you’ve broken a few hundred hearts along the way.”
“Not quite.” From overhead came a low rumble as unseen jets raced across the sky. “Doing what I do doesn’t exactly make things easy, and if you got to know me you might think twice about that kind of flattery.”
“I’m just a dumb ex cop, but I doubt it.”
She reached down into the water by her feet, dug her fingers into the soft floor and produced another shell. With red hair beginning to whip in the wind she delicately wiped the sand from the surface and held it out for inspection.
“Just when you think the chaos is absolute, a pattern begins to emerge,” she said while tracing the perfect spiral lines, “almost as if the wind settles and as the last of the confetti falls tiny pieces of paper come together to reveal an artist’s signature, only it’s a language you don’t understand and it dissolves away a little more every time you look at it.” She handed the shell to John and brought her arms across her chest. “I know watching someone get gunned down wasn’t what you had planned coming to Miami, and if I were in your shoes I’d probably want to wave the city goodbye too. But you’re close now John, closer than we’ve been able to get, and any information you can get about Hendrix or whatever it is the project is doing is worth more than you can imagine.”
“That’s the problem,” John replied, “I can’t imagine because I’ve got nothing more than a few riddles to go on. Tracking down junkies in city backstreets or busting husbands cheating on their wives isn’t exactly a cake walk, but at least I know what I’m doing on most days. It’s different here though. Here I feel like a proverbial fish out of water trying to talk myself into something I shouldn’t, and to be honest I can’t see things getting any better.”
Candice turned and stared at him with a flickering of resignation in her eyes. Although thin beams of sunlight had managed to burst through the clouds along the horizon rain began to fall once again along the beach. Rather than flee back to the car they both remained where they were and let the water splash against their skin.
“Okay John,” she said, “I’ll give you what you want, but you’re going to think I’m crazy and any chance of us doing this again will probably be out the window.”
“Try me,” John offered.
“This is all so fucked,” she mumbled into the wind before composing herself. “Okay, certain information has come into our hands and even if it holds just a small percentage of truth then we’re only weeks away from the kind of destruction that’s never been seen before. I’m serious. This whole fucking city and countless others across the country just might be ticking away on the last wind of a clock, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. So is the information we’ve got accurate? Right now, we just don’t know. That’s why I need you to get the letter to Hendrix, because he might have one of the missing pieces to the puzzle and no matter what he thinks or believes, we need him back.” She edged closer to John as lightening flashed across the skyline. “And if that’s not crazy enough for you, there’s a blood covered riddle sitting in our lab that’s threatening to throw everything we thought we know about life on this damn planet right out the window, meaning just when we start to read the signature it’s all going to turn to ash.”
John stared blankly as confusion rattled away at his thoughts. How the hell was he supposed to respond to something like that? He couldn’t, so chose to simply stand there as the rain fell heavier and the sense of calm that had been there just moments before slipped away.
“I asked if you believed in destiny,” Candice continued, “because I’m trying to process everything that’s happening, really I am, and destiny gives me the chance to establish some sort of reason. I’m a scientist, not some kind of crystal healer, and I’ve never believed in any sort of vague bullshit like destiny or purpose, but now I’m forced to take a good hard look at things and maybe consider a different mindset. If I don’t then there’s a chance I’ll lose my fucking marbles, if I haven’t already.”
She wiped at the water dripping across her eyes and sucked in a deep breath, wet red hair curling into the corner of her mouth.
“I don’t know why,” she continued, “and I don’t know how but here we are, standing in the rain and swept up in something neither of us understands. If you can stay, if you can just try to reach out to Hendrix, you just might find a reason to all this. If you go home the sky will still catch fire, but I won’t be looking for destiny anymore. I’ll be alone, waiting for the final hour with a message I don’t understand.”
John looked down at the shell in his hand and then at the towering city skyline in the distance. That she wanted him to stay was more than made clear, and as he studied the small scars across her cheek he thought of home. He thought of the empty house that promised only stinging memories of a futile relationship bled dry, of the echoes of violence that bounced along city streets as a soundtrack to dirty jobs to pay the bills, and of demons that slithered in the shadows awaiting his eventual exhaustion to hijack his sleep and scorch the depths of his soul. And, of course, there was the constant shame and memory of the innocent blood that forever stained his hands.
He squeezed the shell and slipped it into his pocket. Maybe Candice was looking for some sort of sense of reason but, for all the searching he’d done and all the questions he’d torn himself apart with, all he had to show for it was an addiction to downers and a cat as his only friend.
“We’re gonna be soaked to the bone if we keep standing here,” he said with a fractured grin. “Maybe we should think about heading back.”
Silently they trudged through the sand back to the car, misshapen footprints left behind that quickly crumbled and dissolved as if never there. Bobbie managed a small squeak hello when they slid into the front leather seats, wet clothes leaving beads of water to drip down to the floor. Now that the day was in full swing, dark and overcast as it was, the road had become swollen with traffic that brought an endless stream of headlights to wash across the interior.
Candice started the engine with a kick of the pedal, but before she could shift the transmission into drive John turned, reached over and placed a hand on the steering wheel.
“Hold on for a second,” he said.
“What’s wrong,” she replied with a slight edge, “have you forgotten something?”
“As a matter of fact, I have. I’ve forgotten how much of a prick I can be sometimes.” He quietly waited until she turned to face him. “Look, this is obviously really important to you, I get that. I still don’t have a fucking clue what it’s all about, and I don’t even know if I can pull off what you want me to do, but here’s the thing. Standing out there in the rain it occurred to me that I think you’re pretty awesome, so if staying here and having another shot at finding your doctor friend means there’s a chance Bobbie and me can see you again then I guess the airport can wait for now.”
“Are you offering a deal?” Candice asked with a hint of hope curling the edges of her mouth.
“As far as giving it another go sure, you’ve got yourself a deal. As long as you know though, it doesn’t come with any guarantees.”
“Then I guess I’ll have to put a little faith in destiny.”
“Or in the broken heart of a very rich man.” John saw a confused look on her face and shook his head. “Don’t ask. Things are confusing enough.”
She shifted into drive and prepared to edge her way into the traffic as John peered across the road at the café window. The muscles along the back of his throat tightened. Through the spraying mist being thrown by passing cars he could just make out Maria looking back at them from the shadows, her hand once again marking the sign of the cross. The religious gesture wasn’t what troubled him though. What troubled him was who stood beside her, still and staring. Even with compromised
visibility he recognised the two figures, but there was no chance for a confrontation because seconds later Candice found an opening and swung into the traffic ready to weave through the concrete and glass back to the hotel.
Chapter 18
“Transfer the damn money across and find out what sort of lies they’ve bestowed upon my wife, I don’t care what fucking games they want to play!”
The call to Sebastian once he was back in the hotel hadn’t been a long one, but it had been a little more passionate than the others and had ended abruptly. The revelation of the shooting probably hadn’t eased any of the old man’s concerns about the company Rebecca was keeping or the potential for bad things to happen, but then it was those very concerns that had led John to be there in the first place so if anything it merely reinforced his suspicions. Somewhat hesitantly he had done as Sebastian had so eloquently asked and transferred the deposit across to the account details he’d been sent.
Now, with hints of the late afternoon sun struggling through the remnants of the day’s storm, John stood on the balcony and tapped the lid of the pill container in his hand. He had found them at the bottom of the suitcase, two lonely blue pills that represented his last sliver of armour against the things that scraped the very edges of the darkness that waited for him every night, assured of his return. One way or the other he would need to find a doctor willing to scribble a signature on another script to carry him until he made it back home, and he quietly hoped the task wouldn’t be too difficult. For now though he’d keep them close. Just knowing that they were there helped to soften the anxiety that burrowed along the edges of his thoughts.
There was a soft knocking at the door, and he took one final look across the growing red skyline before heading back inside. Bobbie lifted his head and sniffed at the air, his front legs beginning to stretch as John shuffled by. Vanessa’s smile was already in full bloom and before he could even open his mouth to say hello she skipped past him and crouched down in front of Bobbie.
The Hallucigenia Project Page 27