You’ll have good days and bad, but when it’s done, you’ll be just like all the rest. You’ll have lots and lots of room to roam, no worries ever. I’ll always take good care of you sweetheart, don’t worry.
You’ll have lots of new friends soon, and you’ll be happy in time. You’ll forget…. this life. What does this life have to offer anyway? Work, and worry, who needs it! You’re going to be very happy here, you’ll see. You’ll come to love me and think of me as your mother.
Me: I’ll never love you; you’ll never be my mother!!!
E: ssshhhh, ssshhhh, quiet down now honey, all is well, ssshhhhh.
Many of my fur-babies resisted, but once they realized what was happening to them, they simply accepted it, they had to. They had no choice.
Take Barbara for example, she was a nosy nose, used to live next door to me when I lived in the city, and was always bragging about when she was a little girl in California. Why would she move out here if she were from California, that’s what I wanna know. Plain crazy I tell you. People can be so crazy. Maybe she couldn’t take the heat anymore once the menopause hit, HA! Anyway, she was always calling animal services on me. But she and I became friends when I started bringing over my goodies for her to enjoy every day. Barbara had the loveliest naturally curly hair; she still does, doesn’t she??
Thomas, he went bald so young poor dear. He was only 30 years old when I met him, and already bald as a cue ball, but such a dear sweet boy. He used to come by and do some handyman work around the farm for me. He loved my tea and jam; he was actually very easy to win over. I don’t think he had much of a life before… he seems quite happy now, don’t you think?
Gerilyn, well, I just loved the color of her hair! When I met her on vacation in Florida, I knew she was destined to join the family. She was a runaway, so nobody would ever miss her anyway. She loved my brownies, and she didn’t take long at all. I bought a cat carrier and took her home with me on the plane.
Me: What about the other 3, the Mohawk and the Siamese and the brown cat, where did those come from?
E: Oh, ha, such a funny story. Maria and Sue-Lee came to my door one day, selling Girl Scout cookies! Ha! They were adorable! And the, Mohawk, as you so rudely called him, well, he was the most challenging of all, my Sam.
It took almost a year for him to fully transform. He was such a fighter. But he’s happy now, aren’t you my dear sweet Sammy, come sit on mommy’s lap, let me tell Marla the story of how you came to live with us.
Me: You’re crazy Eleanor, you are absolutely insane.
E: I told you NOT to call me ELEANOR! MY NAME IS ELLIE!
Now then … Sam here, he was an interesting little fellow indeed. Sam came to me one night, in the middle of the night. He broke into the house here, I don’t know why; he must have thought I had money squirreled away or something. What a ridiculous mistake on his part.
I don’t have anything here, no money. I live a very simple life with my fur-babies. But Sam, I guess he must have gotten it into his head that I had something here that he might like.
Well he got the surprise of his life when he felt the barrel of my shotgun pointed directly into his back, let me tell you. Oh… ha… you should have seen his face, poor thing.
I thought about calling the police immediately, I mean, he was nothing but a thug, you know, but there was just something about that hair.
I thought for a while that he’d be better off as one of my horses, or even a goat or a pig, but…
Me: What? What do you mean a goat, or a pig Ellie, what are you talking about?
E: Well of course dear, I can do the transformation into anything I choose. I just choose cats. And I had to know what that colorful Mohawk would look like on a cat… very fetching isn’t it?
Me: Oh my god, oh my god what are you a witch or something?
E: Oh come now dear heart, don’t cry. And I don’t like labels either! Witch, what is that? Such a derogatory name for someone. Maybe I am, I don’t know, but it certainly isn’t like I go flying around on a broom at night. Ha! I just know how to mix, as I said before, a little of this, and a little of that, to, well you know, to get the results I need.
You’ll love it here, you’ll see. Sam here wasn’t happy at first either. You’d be surprised what people will do though when they are staring down the wrong end of a shotgun.
Getting him tied up and locked away into one of my rooms, that was the hardest part. After that, it was easy. You can only go so long without food and water. It takes no time at all before that tremendous thirst and hunger hits you, you know?
Me: oh my god oh my god oh my god
E: ssshhhh hush now girl, sleep, sleep. When you wake up, you’ll feel much better; don’t worry, you’ll see. You’re just a tiny little thing; I don’t think it will take much time at all for you to change. In fact, I’m thinking that I’ll have a brand new cat for Christmas.
--- END OF TRANSCRIPT ---
And, that’s it, the whole crazy story. Hard to believe, right? I wouldn’t believe it myself, if I wasn’t suddenly sprouting hair everywhere.
My nails, my nails continue to fall out and there are little, sharp things growing in their place.
My gums are bleeding; some of my teeth are falling out too, and are being replaced by other, pointy ones.
My tailbone is growing too; something is going on back there, I don’t want to think about it.
Ellie just came into the room, she saw me typing, she doesn’t care.
She commented on the blood all over the keyboard, but it didn’t seem to bother her.
She seemed really happy, crazy ass bitch that she is!
She brought me my Christmas present. It’s a collar with a dangling silver heart that has my name written on it. She made me wear it. It feels kinda tight, but she said the discomfort wouldn’t last for too much longer.
She said it will all be over soon now. She said I’m almost done, and just in time for Christmas. She said I’ll be her cute little tuxedo cat.
Tuxedos are her favorite you know.
*** Epilogue ***
The Wisconsin State Journal News
Harold Robinson Reporting-
March 25, 2014
Police confirmed today that the body found at 1324 West Elderberry Lane is that of Ms. Eleanor Siegfried.
Ms. Siegfried has been a life long native of the Wisconsin area and had taken over the farm when her parents, Howard and Delores Siegfried, disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Eleanor was just 18 years of age at the time.
The scene was described as “grizzly” by veteran Police Chief Walter McCohen. Ms. Siegfried was the owner of many cats and it appeared her body had been partially consumed over the past several weeks.
She was found at the bottom of the stairs of her two-story farmhouse. Authorities believe she most likely tripped over one of her cats, which caused her to fall and break her neck as a result.
Her body was found in a door-to-door search in the investigation of another missing person, Marla Anderson, 18, of Chicago, Illinois.
Police had questioned Ms. Siegfried earlier in the case of the missing girl, but she claimed to have never met Ms. Anderson.
According to Eleanor Siegfried, Marla Anderson was to meet with her at her home during the first week of October, but never showed.
It was because of the persistence of Marla Anderson’s family prompting the police search from house to house for Ms. Anderson, that the body of Eleanor Siegfried was found.
Eleanor Siegfried leaves behind more than 100 cats. They are currently being sent to various no-kill shelters in the surrounding area.
Due to the number of cats involved, local shelters could not accommodate all of the cats, and many will be sent to the Anti-Cruelty Society on LaSalle Street in Chicago, Illinois.
Miss Siegfried was 62 years old.
Chicago Tribune News
News reporter- Jennifer Langdon
April 16, 2014
In my human-interest
story this week, I had the pleasure of speaking with Pricilla and Edward Anderson today.
I met Mr. and Mrs. Anderson as they were in the process of adopting their second cat from Charlotte’s Corner, located at the Anti-Cruelty Society, in downtown Chicago.
“We are just so happy with the other cat we adopted here last week,” stated Pricilla Anderson, “that we decided we could open up our home and our hearts for just one more today.”
At the urging of her husband, Mrs. Anderson continued her story.
“These cats all came from that Wisconsin woman, the one who was found dead in her home. My daughter, Marla, disappeared on her way to interview that woman, Ellie was her name, Ellie Siegfried.
Anyway, when we first saw the cat that we adopted last week, it was the strangest thing. When we walked into the shelter she ran right up to us. I sat down and she jumped into my lap! It was unbelievable! She’s a cute little tuxedo cat and she has one blue eye, and one brown eye. My daughter Marla, she had the same eye coloring. It made me cry.
Then, I noticed, she had a little nametag, a little dangling silver heart, and it had her name inscribed on it. ‘Marla’ it said. I couldn’t believe it. I started to cry. It was, I don’t know, like a sign from heaven, I swear it was. I told my husband we had to take this little cat home and we did.
You know how hard it is to bring a new cat home when you already have resident cats that live there. You know, all the hissing and fighting that goes on. Well, none of that happened. As soon as I brought Marla home, she ran around the house like she’d been there forever.
She seemed so happy. She ran upstairs and when Ed and I went to check on her, she was curled up on my daughters’ bed between Mickey and Minnie, our other two cats.
It was the most amazing thing I’d ever experienced. I can’t describe what I felt exactly. I don’t know if my daughter will ever come home to us again. We’ll always keep looking and hoping. We’re waiting. We won’t ever give up.
But it seemed like we were destined somehow to find that little cat. I mean really, such a coincidence, the eye color and the nametag? Even her coloring, the black and white, my daughters’ hair was black with platinum blonde highlights.
Oh I’m sorry, I’m crying again. I do that a lot since Marla … since she disappeared.
My husband and I decided to get another cat from the same home where Marla came from. Who knows, maybe they were friends at Ellie’s place, you know? We’re adopting this cute little boy today. Look at him, have you ever seen such a little cutie-pie, and so unusual looking too.
I’ve never seen a cat with a multi-colored Mohawk before, have you?”
- The End -
The Crazy Cat Lady on Elderberry Lane Page 3