It was a heavy parcel, her frown almost as heavy as she removed the brown wrapping-paper to reveal four of her published books, hardbacked copies for a collector, only one of the books missing. She quickly turned the wrapping-paper back over, recoiling as she saw it was Lyon’s name above her address on the handwritten label.
Her first emotions were ones of anger; how dare he take the liberty of actually having things delivered here. The whole of London would quickly learn that he had taken up residence here! That was just what she needed.
After the anger came puzzlement. Why on earth did Lyon want her books, he hadn’t exactly been over-enthusiastic about their existence in the past. She didn’t want him reading them either, felt as if he were intruding in something that was very personal. And she didn’t understand why Scarlet Lover, the only one of her books they had ever discussed, was missing from the collection.
She agitatedly returned to the kitchen, no longer humming happily to herself. ‘There are some more things of Mr Falconer’s in my study, Mrs Devon,’ she told the housekeeper stiltedly. ‘Please see that they are delivered to him too. I’ll be in my bedroom if you should need me.’
She slept so long her head ached when she woke up, a glance at the clock telling her it was after four-thirty. Mrs Devon was a well-meaning dear, but she should have woken her. For someone who had always had so much energy, needing only a few hours’ rest at night to ‘recharge her batteries’, Shay found this habit of sleeping in the day almost decadent.
She was sitting in the kitchen enjoying a much-needed cup of tea when she heard the front door slam shut, and the sound of someone whistling as they walked down the hallway and up the stairs.
Mrs Devon gave Shay a startled look. ‘Who …?’
She knew very well who! Lyon was here in spite of the pointed returning of his clothes.
Her mouth tightened as she heard the sound of water being run upstairs; Lyon always showered as soon as he returned home for the evening. At least, he had done six years ago, and she had no reason to suppose he had changed the habit during that time.
‘Excuse me, Mrs Devon.’ She left the kitchen in a blaze of fury, too angry to see where she was going, finding herself suddenly in the guest-room, wrenching open the door to the adjoining bathroom. ‘Get out of my house, Lyon,’ she ordered harshly.
He stood in front of the mirror shaving, steam from the running shower already beginning to fog his reflection, a towel draped about his thighs his only clothing.
He turned calmly to look at her. ‘Like this?’ he drawled pointedly.
‘Stark naked for all I care!’ She didn’t give a damn about his nakedness, was unmoved by his physical perfection. ‘Just get out.’
‘He turned back to the mirror. ‘My case arrived safely, by the way.’
‘Good!’
‘You don’t really mean that,’ he sounded amused.
‘Oh, but I do,’ she assured him forcefully, her eyes blazing deeply purple. ‘I want you to take that suitcase now and go.’
‘You look very beautiful in that dress,’ he murmured appreciatively, checking his jaw for a smooth shave. ‘I think I need a new blade in my razor—’
‘Leave the blunt one in,’ Shay flared. ‘If I’m forced to cutting your throat I’d like it to be as painful as possible!’
Lyon laughed softly. ‘Being in an advanced state of pregnancy suits you; it brings out the tigress in you.’
She retained control of her temper with effort, breathing deeply. She would not let him do this to her! ‘I’m not supposed to be upset, Lyon—’
‘Then don’t be,’ he shrugged, testing the temperature of the shower water. ‘I’d ask you to join me, but I don’t think there’s room for the three of us.’ He looked pointedly at her swollen body.
Shay stepped back with a furious gasp, slamming the bathroom door in his face, the pounding in her head worse, feeling dizzy as she went to her own room, lying down on the bed once she had slipped off her clothes, closing her eyes to shut out the pain. This was supposed to be a euphoric time in her life, and here she was being haunted by the devil himself!
‘Mrs Falconer …?’
She lifted heavy lids to look at the housekeeper, smiling wanly. ‘I seem to be so tired today.’ She had been asleep again for over two hours!
‘I didn’t think you should be working again so soon after your accident,’ the other woman scolded, helping her sit up against the pillows. ‘A nice bowl of soup and a steak salad will soon buck you up,’ she decided primly.
‘Mr Falconer …?’
‘Is going out to dinner.’
‘You mean he’s still here?’
‘Now please calm down,’ Mrs Devon soothed. ‘Mr Falconer said you—’
‘I believe we’ve already had this conversation once today, Mrs Devon,’ she reminded her stiltedly. ‘Mr Falconer’s wishes do not interest me!’
‘I accept that,’ the housekeeper nodded. ‘But when what he says is just plain good sense I don’t see the point in opposing him.’
‘And just what has he said this time?’ she asked with sickly sarcasm.
‘That you shouldn’t have been working today, that it was silly of you to push yourself in that way, and that you should have dinner in bed tonight.’
‘I give the orders in this household, not Mr Falconer—’
‘And I’m sure they are very prettily given too.’ Lyon strode into the room unannounced, wearing an evening suit now. ‘Thank you, Mrs Devon,’ he smiled at the older woman. ‘I’ll deal with Mrs Falconer now.’
Purple eyes spat flames at him as soon as they were alone. ‘Isn’t it enough that you had that poor woman spying on me without trying to take over here completely?’ Shay accused.
‘Looking after you and spying are two different things,’ he drawled.
‘Mrs Devon seemed to think there was a distinction too,’ Shay snapped. ‘I don’t. What do you think you’re doing now?’ she gasped as he lifted her arm.
‘Checking your pulse.’ He studied his wristwatch as he felt her pulse. ‘Dunbar mentioned that your blood pressure is up slightly—’
‘And just when did he happen to “mention" this?’ she demanded indignantly.
‘While you were in the hospital,’ Lyon shrugged.
‘You had no right discussing my health with my doctor,’ she muttered resentfully.
‘Your pulse appears to be racing.’ He looked down at her with questioning gold eyes. ‘Because of me?’ prompted Lyon huskily.
‘Because you are you,’ she corrected forcefully. ‘Because you’re arrogant, and bossy, and totally unrelenting, and—and—’ To her everlasting consternation she began to cry, deep racking sobs that she had no control over. ‘Because I can’t fight you and win, because—’
‘Shay, stop it!’ Lyon ordered harshly.
‘I—can’t!’ she hiccuped.
‘Damn it, I swore I wouldn’t touch you again,’ he rasped in a tormented voice.
‘Please—don’t.’ She shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks.
‘I can’t help myself!’ He sat down on the bed to take her in his arms, trembling slightly as he did so, cradling her head gently into his chest. ‘You’ve tired yourself into this state, you know,’ he admonished. ‘Is fame and fortune so important to you?’ he added bleakly.
Shay looked up at him with puzzled eyes. ‘Fame and fortune …?’
‘Shay Flanagan’s sixth best-seller,’ he derided bitterly. ‘Mrs Devon tells me you worked on it most of the morning and then spent the better part of the afternoon sleeping; is it so important to you to finish it before the baby’s born? I’ve read one of your books, and I didn’t see anything special in it!’
Scarlet Lover? If that were the book he had read he gave no indication of it. ‘Fortunately, millions of other people disagree with your opinion!’ she snapped.
Lyon’s face hardened, his eyes suddenly cold as she sat away from him. ‘You didn’t answer my question, is it so impor
tant you finish the damned thing now?’
‘To my publisher, yes! I’m contracted to finish it by Christmas.’
Lyon’s mouth twisted. ‘I’m sure you weren’t a widow or pregnant at the time!’
‘You bastard!’ she choked.
‘Shay—’
‘You’ll never change, Lyon, so it’s no good thinking you will! I’m finishing the book because I want to, not for any other reason. And if it makes me tired then I’ll sleep instead of lying here in the darkness wondering how I can explain to a small child that its father died before it was even born!’ She glared at him, hating the complete way she had exposed her feelings to a man to whom she had sworn she would never again show any sign of weakness.
* * *
LYON SILENTLY CURSED himself for pushing her to this point. God, he knew she hated him, did he have to keep punishing himself by proving it time and time again!
He hadn’t meant to belittle her work, had been surprised by the strength of the book he had read. But that was before he saw how tired writing made her! God, she was black and blue all over from the beating she had taken down that escalator, how dare she tire herself out by working the day after she came out of hospital!
‘If you don’t take better care of yourself there won’t be a child to explain to.’ He flinched inwardly as she paled even more. ‘Don’t you realise how lucky you are not to have lost the baby already?’ he continued mercilessly.
‘Yes, I know.’ She stood up, magnificent in the purple nightgown, her breasts full in preparation for her child, that child nestled safely in her body. God, how he wanted her, now, like this, felt as if the child she carried were his own. ‘A lot has happened during this pregnancy, and I can assure you that constantly being bullied and pushed about by you is certainly not helping the situation!’
He smiled as the fight came back into her. As long as she kept fighting he knew everything was going to be all right. It was when she became so cold and remote that he floundered. ‘I know everything is going to work out for you, Shay.’
She looked at him sharply, suspiciously. ‘I don’t need your assurances about my life,’ she finally snapped.
She would be his again one day, he vowed it! He had to have her, had to make her belong to him again, body and soul. And this time there would be no escape!
His smile deepened. ‘If you have any trouble sleeping tonight just come along to my room; I’m sure I could find a way to help with your insomnia,’ God, she was going to throw something at him in a minute, he knew it by the gleam of fury in her eyes.
‘Lyon—’
‘Yes?’ He raised innocent brows.
She sighed wearily. ‘Why don’t you spend the night with your dining companion?’
His mouth twisted. ‘You, more than anyone else, should know I’m not that way inclined,’ he taunted.
Colour heightened her cheeks. ‘You’re meeting a man this evening?’
He nodded. ‘A business acquaintance.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘And I’m going to be late if I don’t leave now.’ He looked back at her. ‘Now why don’t you be a good girl and eat the soup and steak salad Mrs Devon is preparing for you?’
‘Because I know that you ordered it!’ Her eyes flashed. ‘Because you’ve walked into my home, made yourself comfortable, and taken over!’
His mouth tightened, and he knew his eyes frosted over. ‘You aren’t working again tonight.’
‘I—’
‘If I have to I’ll stay in with you this evening and make sure that you don’t,’ he threatened softly, pain in his chest at the hunted look that came over her beautiful face. He would have her. She had loved him once, she would again. Oh he knew that in the past he had destroyed her love with a cruelty she would find hard to forgive, but he had had his reasons. Now that Marilyn had decided she would like to end their marriage, there were no obstacles in the way of having Shay. Except that she didn’t love him. But he could make her want him; he had always been able to do that!
* * *
GOD, HOW SHE HATED the thought of backing down in front of this man, but the thought of spending the evening with him was out of the question. ‘I have no intention of working again this evening,’ she told him tightly. ‘I rarely work in the evenings, Ricky and I—’
‘Yes?’ Lyon prompted as she broke off abruptly.
She looked at him with defiance. ‘Ricky and I liked to spend our evenings together.’
‘You were happy with him?’ His voice was gruff.
‘Extremely so,’ Shay nodded challenging.
‘I’m glad.’ Lyon’s answer was bitten out.
Shay gave a scornful laugh. ‘You’ll forgive me if I find that hard to believe!’
‘Is that why you married Ricky, to spite me?’ Lyon grated.
Her eyes darkened angrily. ‘Aren’t you assuming that you meant something to me?’ Her voice was contemptuous.
He nodded curtly. ‘I know I did once.’
‘That was a very long time ago,’ dismissed Shay coldly.
‘You still haven’t answered my question about why you married my brother,’ he prompted.
‘I married Ricky because he was the kindest, gentlest man I ever knew. And because I loved him deeply,’ she added quietly.
‘I see,’ Lyon bit out roughly. ‘How quickly the love you expressed for me died!’ he scorned.
It hadn’t died at all, it had been killed. It had been ripped out of her, Ricky the one to pull her back out of the darkness, to care for her in a way Lyon had never even tried to do. Her initial warmth and gratitude to Ricky had slowly turned to love. It hadn’t been the volcanic emotion she had felt for his brother, but a much more comfortable love, and one that she had known was more than returned.
‘I was very young, Lyon,’ she said self-derisively, effecting a bored tone. ‘You were the older, much more experienced man. Every young girl should have a fling just like that one. But you certainly aren’t the sort of man any sensible woman would try to settle down with; even Marilyn has had to admit defeat in trying to tame you after eleven years.’
Tawny eyes were hard with anger. ‘We were together six months, a little more than a fling, wouldn’t you say?’ he challenged tautly.
Shay’s poise almost slipped as he reminded her of the most tempestuous six months of her life, but she managed to maintain her smile. ‘I was enjoying myself too much to let it end,’ she mocked. ‘So much so I even fell a little in love with you. But I think we were right to end things when we did.’
‘It was not a mutual decision,’ he rasped.
‘Wasn’t it?’ she dismissed lightly. ‘I forget the exact details now. You know, I think I am hungry, after all,’ she said thoughtfully. ‘And didn’t you say something about being late for your dinner engagement?’
‘This conversation is more important than a damned business dinner,’ he told her harshly, his eyes narrowed. ‘And in my opinion it’s also long overdue! You disappeared once you got back to London after that weekend; where did you go?’ he demanded to know.
‘How dramatic you make it sound, Lyon,’ she mocked. ‘I went back to Ireland for a few weeks’ holiday—which was due to me—’
‘Which also turned out to be your notice,’ Lyon rasped.
She shrugged. ‘I had the chance of a better job and decided to take it.’
‘In Ireland?’
‘No.’ She laughed.
‘Then where?’
‘For another firm in London, of course,’ she chided his denseness in not realising that.
Lyon shook his head. ‘I looked for you, I couldn’t find you. You even moved out of your flat.’
‘How did you know that?’ she gasped.
‘That was the first place I looked,’ he said impatiently.
Shay’s eyes widened. ‘But why on earth should you want to look for me?’
‘You know damn well why.’ Lyon’s voice rose angrily. ‘We argued that morning, but we could have worked something out, you didn’t hav
e to disappear completely like that.’
‘I didn’t disappear completely, Ricky was able to find me,’ she goaded, disturbed to find that Lyon hadn’t just given up on her after that weekend, that despite what had happened he had still wanted to see her.
Lyon drew in a sharp breath. ‘Conveniently,’ he sneered.
He would never know how ‘convenient’ Ricky’s unexpected visit to her bedsit had been six years ago, how Ricky had called an ambulance while he tried to stop the life’s blood draining out of her. If he hadn’t found her she would surely have died that night. But she never intended letting Lyon know how she had almost died because she had loved him. Ricky had been with her constantly after that night, and her liking and gratitude to him had turned to love, a love that had merely deepened and grown during their years of married life together. Surely no two brothers could be as different as Ricky and Lyon!
‘I’m going downstairs to have my dinner now, Lyon, you must do what you choose.’ She pulled on the silk wrap that matched her nightgown, past feeling awkward with Lyon in whatever state of dress he found her. He didn’t seem to mind, so why should she!
‘Just answer me one question.’ Lyon grasped her arm as she would have left the room. ‘Did you and Ricky have an affair while we were still together?’
‘An affair implies that we had a relationship of fidelity between us, Lyon,’ she scorned. ‘And that could hardly be the case when you were married to someone else!’
‘Did you?’ he demanded forcefully.
It would be so easy to say yes, to hurt this man’s pride as it deserved to be hurt. But to lie would be to malign Ricky, and she couldn’t do that. ‘No,’ she answered abruptly. ‘Your brother was too much of a gentleman for that,’ she couldn’t resist adding goadingly.
Green spark flew from tawny eyes. ‘But you wanted him?’
Now she felt no hesitation in lying. ‘Obviously,’ she drawled. ‘He was much more my type than you were; young, uncomplicated, fun to be with—’
‘Free,’ Lyon ground out.
‘That too,’ Shay nodded mockingly. ‘Why are you making all this fuss, Lyon?’ she dismissed. ‘Is it because I was the one to finish things between us? Couldn’t your pride take it?’
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