by Ciara Shayee
Sucking in a shaky breath, I steel myself. Piper jumps neatly from the seat to beam at me. “Knock ‘em dead, KP. Just be confident and cool and Daddy will love it.”
She was right, too. I reminded myself of her advice throughout the interview and when I walked out of the office thirty minutes later, she was waiting to give me a high five as Carson told Lisa to set me up in the system because I had the job. He did remember me, as it happens.
And the nickname—KP—stuck.
“Gosh, that was a long time ago now,” Piper muses.
I quickly do the math. “Twenty years this year.”
“Is that how long it’s been?” Bethany asks, handing me a cup of coffee and a slice of homemade apple pie. “I can’t believe we’ve known each other for two decades.”
Neither can I. In that time, so much has changed. Swan’s Nest has gone from strength to strength. Carson has become my best friend rather than my boss. He and his family are my family, too. I went from being a concierge at his Jackson Bay hotel to owning my own successful business. I worked my way up through the ranks over time, learning from Carson all the while. Then with his tutelage and guidance, Patterson’s Gourmet Burger Co. flourished in its early days and continues to do well now, years later.
Without him, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
And without Bethany, I wouldn’t have to run a bunch of miles three times a week to get rid of my homemade-goods weight.
*
After another coffee and a brief catch up, I heave myself off the barstool beside Piper and say my goodbyes. Bethany reminds me about brunch on Saturday—as if I could forget—and walks me out, goading me into promising I’ll be there. She knows I never break a promise, not anymore, but the prospect of spending a ton of time pretending to be as blissfully happy as she is just doesn’t appeal.
“I’ve got a lot going on at the restaurant at the moment, but I’ll do my best, okay?”
She eyes me shrewdly but doesn’t argue, so I offer Piper a wave, plant a kiss on Bethany’s cheek, and haul ass to my Jeep before she can ask any questions.
Guilt quickly worms its way through me as I head toward Burger Co., though, and as the day progresses, the energy I used up socializing leaves me with little patience and a short temper.
The new server bears the brunt of it as I deal with one fuck-up after another before finally calling it quits and retreating to my office where it’s quiet and no fuckin’ idiots dare to bother me.
Tap, tap.
Or not.
“Fuck’s sake. Come in!”
The door slides open, a very pregnant Ashley waddling in. She grimaces as she lowers herself into the seat across from me without me telling her to.
Shaking my head, I lean back in my chair and crack my neck. “Make yourself at home,” I tell her with more than a hint of sarcasm.
Sarcasm she blatantly ignores.
“I will, thanks.” Blowing out a long breath, Ashley gives her bump a pat. “We need to talk maternity cover.”
It takes all my willpower to stop myself from whining “I don’t want to” like a toddler. Every single bit. I settle for grumbling a few curses and pulling a face; she rolls her eyes and laughs in response.
“I know the prospect of losing me scares you, KP, but it’s tough. I can hardly be here with a newborn, can I?”
With a shrug, I petulantly point out that she could. She doesn’t work in the kitchen and she wore her first three daughters in slings for the first year, anyway. She could serve and wear this baby, too.
“Anyway...”
So we’re ignoring that. Spectacular.
“Have you advertised yet? This girl could come any day now.”
“No, I haven’t. I still have time, don’t worry.”
Truth is, I’ve been procrastinating—and Ashley likely knows it. She’s my best server, my right-hand woman. When I’m not here, there’s nobody I trust more to keep front of the house running smoothly or to kick the kitchen crew’s butts when they step out of line. And now she’s taking off to have baby number four with my head chef, which means I’ll lose him for a bit, too.
“KP, look. Why don’t you let me help? I know some people who might be interested in some summer work. Or, hell, why don’t you let Jones step up? He knows what he’s doing.”
“I’d need another chef, though,” I point out, not completely against the idea, just mostly. “I’d rather have the least amount of changes possible.”
Her icy blue eyes shine with amusement as she shakes her head at me. From the corner of my eye, I see her hand shoot to her bump and the ever-so-slight protrusion of a foot or an elbow. My stomach rolls. Standing so quickly my chair squeaks, there’s no missing the knowing look on Ashley’s face before she heaves herself out of her chair and makes for the door.
“I’ll leave you to think it over, but KP, think about it.”
“I will.”
She can tell from my tone that I’m done talking about it. Ashley was my first real friend here, my first hire. The first employee of Burger Co. besides me. We’ve known each other for nearly twenty years, so she’s aware of how I function. It’s nice to have that. She can tell when I’m done talking, but equally, she always knows when to push.
This time, she’s evidently decided it’s not worth it. I’m glad.
With my office blessedly empty once more, I can’t resist a peek.
Sitting heavily in my chair with a stiff back and a burn in the back of my eyes that never really quits, I slowly slide open the top drawer of my desk and force myself not to freak out. The back of the frame stares up at me. Taunting. Tempting. Terrifying.
When my fingertips reach out to touch the pink velvet backing, I tense and snatch my hand away, slamming the drawer shut with the other.
No. Not today.
I don’t have the strength to say “goodbye” again tonight.
Four
Piper
“Be careful of the little ones, boys!” I warn as Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo tear down the stairs in their rash guard tops and board shorts.
“We will!” Finley promises, but it wasn’t really him I was talking to. He’s the gentlest of the three—it’s his loony brothers I’m concerned about. They’re both hyped up on sugar after spending the morning baking sugar cookies with Mom and Danny, and we’ve got one of our cousins here who is younger than them and less confident in the water.
Out by the pool, I find Mom and Gianna sitting at the table with Maisie, my cousin’s wife. Her husband, Aaron, is over by the grill with Dad, Sebastian, and Grandpa Freddie. As usual, the guys and the girls have separated so the men can congregate around the grill and show off their masculinity.
Yawn.
As I join the women at the table, I spot Little Grandma supervising the toddler pool on the grass and can’t help but smile. Instead of leaping into the water with his brothers, Finley has taken a detour and veered over to see her. She’s watching AJ, Aaron and Maisie’s two-year-old. In the big pool, Jaxson and Arlo have joined Danny.
Brunches at Mom and Dad’s have always been a big family affair. It looks like that hasn’t changed in my absence. Aaron and Maisie have travelled into town to see his parents, my aunt and uncle—Leanne and Lee. They live just outside the bay, but Aaron and I are the same age and were in the same grade, so I’ve always been closer to him than my other cousins. It’s the first time he’s meeting my boys, so I make sure to take photos.
“Your boys are just darling, Piper,” Maisie tells me as I sink into a seat between her and Mom.
Grinning with pride, there’s no way I’m going to deny that. It’s the truth, after all. “Thank you. I think they’re pretty great.”
They’re all the best parts of me.
“Isn’t Arlo the spitting image of you?” she breathes, watching my youngest climb out of the pool, demand everybody’s attention, and flip back into the water as we all cheer.
“I actually think
he looks a lot like Bass,” I admit. “But it’s nice to know one of my boys resembles me, even just a little. Jax and Finn are all their father.” Which I’m not bitter about at all, obviously. “They have an uncle on his side and it’s like looking into the future.”
It’s always creeped me out how much Jaxson and Finley look like their may-as-well-have-been-a-sperm-donor’s younger brother. They may have my natural shade of dark brown hair as well as my gray eyes, but their features…they’re all Holder. Then there’s Arlo with my ex’s blond hair and dark eyes.
Mom’s hand landing on my forearm reminds me that I’m in company. The frown that always accompanies thoughts of my ex loosens, and I manage a smile which reassures her—at least for now.
It’s a little awkward for a moment, but my littlest guy saves the day.
“Momma, Momma, Momma!” Arlo screeches, landing in my lap with a wet slap.
“Oh, Lo!” He’s soaked, and now, so am I. Fantastic. “You’re drenched!”
“Sorry, Momma, but look! I can do it, watch me!”
“Do what?” I mumble, standing up so I can steal Jaxson’s Superman towel to pat my legs dry. Thankfully I’m in cut-offs, so it’s mostly just me that’s wet, not my clothes.
“Watch, Momma!” Arlo repeats, running back to the pool with Mom laughingly reminding him not to run by the pool. He chirps an unapologetic sounding apology before sucking in a deep breath and executing a pretty decent dive into the pool.
Everly, ever the swim coach, leans out of her bedroom window to congratulate him, and Arlo lights up like a little Christmas tree. The praise from everyone only adds to his delight, but the grin he gives me when I lift him from the pool by his hands to give him a squishy hug is the best.
After getting changed, I rejoin everyone outside and do the rounds while we eat. Little Grandma and Grandpa Freddie tell me how happy they are that I finally came home and compliment me endlessly on how wonderful the boys are. I didn’t realize just how much I’ve missed them—I’ve seen them twice in the nine years I’ve been away. Grandpa’s health is up and down, and Little Grandma doesn’t like to be away from home, so both of those times were when I flew back to Florida.
I chit-chat with my cousin and his wife, too, catching up on their plans to settle down with AJ now that he’s heading toward preschool age. They’ve been exploring the world since before he was born, but they’re ready to settle into a house and put down some roots now, preferably in Jackson Bay. We’re in the same boat, in that respect.
“We just want somewhere AJ can grow up, you know?” Maisie tells me as we women folk clean up. The men cooked, so this is our show while they kick back and watch the kids leaping around with the water guns Sebastian brought over.
Both tired after a hectic morning of running around with their great-grandchildren, Grandpa Freddie and Little Grandma head off after handing out pocket money to the kids and hugs to the adults.
“I get it,” I tell Maisie, because I do. “I loved living in England, but I want the boys to have memories of the sand between their toes and the Fourth of July parade.” Peering out at Dad pulling Arlo onto his lounger so he can tickle his belly with his beard, I sigh wistfully and smile. “I want them to have that.”
Maisie follows my gaze and laughs, and I know she knows what I mean. “Lee is exactly the same with AJ. He always gets him full of sugar when we take him over there.”
“These two are the same,” I tease Mom with a hip bump as she carries a few more dishes inside.
She flashes us a saccharine sweet smile and shrugs. “It’s the job of the grandparents to spoil their grandbabies.” Dumping the dishes in the sink, she points a dirty wooden spoon at me. “And we have a lot of catching up to do, so you can’t complain even one bit, honey.”
“I’m not complaining, I was just commiserating with Maisie.”
“Commiserating,” Mom scoffs, hugging me around the middle before nudging me away from the sink. “Get outside and enjoy the last of the sun, ladies. I can handle this. I’m going to put most of it in the dishwasher anyway.”
After double- and triple-checking that she’s sure, Maisie and I head back outside just in time to catch the tail-end of Dad and Sebastian’s conversation.
“So, KP?” Sebastian asks as I slide behind Finley on a lounger. He nestles back into my chest but continues playing whatever game Sebastian has loaded onto his iPad—some kind of train-chasing game, it looks like.
Dad sighs and takes a long pull of his Corona. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him lately. He’s all over the place.”
Sebastian frowns. “You don’t think it’s the baby, do you?”
The baby? Whose baby?
“I don’t know, son. You could be right.”
“Whose baby?” The words are out there before I’ve even made up my mind to ask the question.
Dad and Sebastian glance my way. “The head chef at Burger Co. His wife’s due any day now,” my brother explains, his expression tightening. “They’re having a girl.”
Oh.
I already knew that, of course. I know Ashley from before I went to England. She’s worked at Burger Co. from the beginning, so she’s always been around. She and her husband, Brayden, have the three most adorable daughters and now another on the way, but with how chaotic everything has been the last six months while I planned our move, it didn’t occur to me how difficult for Kellan it must be watching his two best friends anxiously await the arrival of their daughter.
“Yeah,” Dad sighs, gazing up at the sky. He and Kellan have been friends for years; they’re more like brothers than friends, really. Dad has referred to Kellan as his honorary little brother more times than I can count. Kellan’s pain is his pain, and I can see he’s worried.
“Wasn’t he supposed to be here today?” I wonder.
“He texted earlier. Something about the new menu and a printing fuck-up.”
A silly, insecure part of me wonders if I’m the reason he’s AWOL. The morning after we went to Burger Co., Mom admitted she was mad Kellan wasn’t there like he promised to be. Then he showed up with flowers and chocolate and won her forgiveness. Now there’s this, him missing brunch.
Is it because of me? I can’t help but—perhaps foolishly—worry, even though the idea of him avoiding me puts a rock in the pit of my stomach and a sour taste on my tongue. Not to mention a whole lot of confusion because I have no idea why he’d be avoiding me at all.
Just as I’m about to ask more questions, Everly carries my cell out onto the patio, mouthing that it’s someone about an interview. Excitement and nerves shoot through my veins as I raise it to my ear.
“Hello, Piper Fitzgerald speaking.”
“This is Paulette Vaughn, from Vaughn’s. You left your resume last week so I’m just calling to see if you’re free for an interview on Monday? We haven’t had any other applicants, so it’s pretty much yours if you want it, but formalities…”
“I am free, that would be great!” Shooting Dad a silly smile and a thumbs up, I confirm a time with Paulette and promise to see her Monday before hanging up with a whoop. I don’t even care that she basically said I’m the only applicant, so I’ll probably get it. A job is a job, regardless of how I get it.
It’s one step closer to getting my life here on track.
“I’ve got an interview on Monday. At Vaughn’s.”
Dad nods approvingly as Maisie gives me a high five. “That’s great, honey. It’s not too far away, and it’s right next to Burger Co. if you have any problems.”
My stomach erupts with butterflies. Being next door to Burger Co. hadn’t even entered my mind, but he’s right. The convenience store is right next door to Kellan’s restaurant. If he is avoiding me, it’ll be a lot harder with me so close.
“I’m sure I’ll be fine, Dad.”
“Sure you’ll be fine with what?” Mom joins us out on the patio, looking between me and Dad.
“I’ve got an int
erview at Vaughn’s on Monday.”
She’s just as pleased as I am that I’ve got an interview so soon, but she’s not stoked that it renews my hopes of finding somewhere to move into with the boys before they start school in August. However, I do understand her point that settling into a new job will take up enough time, at least for a little while, without throwing myself full steam into house hunting.
“I’ll hold off on looking for a house until I’ve started work and settled in,” I promise, just to placate her, but the excitement doesn’t abate and I spend the rest of the weekend crossing everything that this job will just be the start of good things to come here in Jackson Bay.
*
“You got this, Momma.”
Twisting in my seat to grin at my boys, I reach out a closed fist. “Thanks, baby.”
Jaxson taps our fists together, then his brothers follow suit. “Are you nervous?”
Turning back to face the tiny convenience store, I can’t help but quickly glance over at Burger Co. and wish my interview could be there, instead. It’s closed right now, but the prep chef is probably inside getting things started ready for the lunchtime crowd. At least I’d know some people if I worked there.
“A little,” I finally admit.
It’s been a long time since I’ve had a first day of a new job. Back in England, I had the same two jobs the entire time I lived there. I worked at a coffee shop just around the corner from Jude’s, and later, I worked part-time at a small publishing house.
This is totally outside of my comfort zone. Not to mention that Paulette Vaughn was openly hostile toward me when I went for my interview on Monday. Her name didn’t ring a bell until I saw her in person and realized she’s none other than Paulette the Pain, the girl who mercilessly bullied Everly throughout middle school before transferring out of state when her parents relocated. Her uncle, Isaac Vaughn, is the owner of the store, and I guess she’s moved back to help him run it. Mom didn’t even know she was back yet, so it must have been recent—she and her crochet club are the worst for gossip in Jackson Bay. They know all the good stuff before anyone else.