by Ciara Shayee
Jaxson seems pretty comfortable with me holding him while he points to different things on the chalkboard menu and gets me to explain what they are. He decides that he wants to try the Pad Thai fries next time, so I promise to talk his mom into bringing him by sometime or give him some when Bethany and Carson next bring the boys in for lunch.
Thoughts of Piper quickly have me feeling guilty. The last time I saw her, I was a jerk. There’s no getting away from that. I lost my head and got carried away, and then when I realized what I was doing, I pulled my usual trick and ran away. Figures. I frustrated even myself, so I can’t imagine how she felt. However, I can guess. Her face is, and always has been, an open book.
Those big gray eyes of hers hide nothing. She didn’t even try to disguise the disappointment on her face as she said “goodnight” and walked away from me—which is exactly what she should be doing. I watched her go, watched her walk all the way up the driveway and let herself into the house. Unlike the times I’ve driven her home, she didn’t look back.
Holding her son as he thanks Kelly for his brisket fries and promises to share the other two portions she hands me to carry, I can’t help but wonder how she’ll react when she sees me. Nerves gnaw at my gut.
“We’re right over there,” Jaxson mumbles around a mouthful of fries, pointing with one hand while stuffing food into his mouth with the other.
After walking a few feet, I spot the Fitzgeralds on the edge of the crowd. The town committee has done a great job of decorating the beach with colorful paper lanterns hanging from strings held up by white wooden posts. The strings make up a huge net, holding the round lanterns in the typical holiday colors. Families and friends have brought blankets, cushions, and camp chairs and set up on the sand ready for the fireworks display later tonight. I carefully wind my way through the crowd, unable to stifle my grin at the yummy noises Jaxson is making.
“These are good. I kinda don’t wanna share with Finn and Arlo.”
“Sorry, buddy, you gotta. I don’t think you’ll be able to eat all this by yourself, anyway.”
He flashes me a mischievous smirk and wipes some sauce from the tip of his nose. “Is that a bet? Nanny Jude says I’ve got hollow legs, you know.”
“I don’t doubt it,” I tell him with a laugh and a shake of my head, nearing his family. Except, I don’t see Piper…
“There you are!” Bethany crows, spotting us just as we reach the edge of the big blanket she’s sitting on. Carson and Sebastian pause their conversation to say “hi,” and Gianna offers me a wave as she tosses a ball back and forth with Danny. I assume Rosie and Everly are around here somewhere, but I can’t see them. “Your momma is looking for you, Ja—”
“Jaxson Lane Fitzgerald, what have I told you about running off? Christ, kiddo, I was worried!”
Here goes nothin’.
Turning, I plaster what I hope is an apologetic smile on my face. It immediately slips a little when I get a good look at her.
Like most people here, she’s gone for typical beach attire in bright scarlet. Her bikini has scalloped edges; it comes up high on her waist and reasonably low on her tits, showing off her delicious curves. It’s almost impossible to divert my eyes from her body and all the skin her swimwear leaves exposed.
Having her six-year-old in my arms helps.
“Hey, Piper.”
Her expression softens. “Hey, Kellan.”
“I was with Kellan, Momma,” Jaxson says, wiping his face on his arm. “He gave us some brisket fries. They’re so good, you gotta try ‘em.”
Quirking her brow at him, she pops her hip and crosses her arms.
Not helping keep my eyes on your face, Piper. Christ.
“What did I say about—”
“I didn’t ask!” he interjects before she can tell him off. “Kellan offered. Right, Kellan?”
“Right,” I agree.
Piper eyes me, obviously trying to work out if he’s bullshitting or not, before we’re both distracted by little hands tugging at the bag in my hand.
“Please can I try some, Kellan?” Arlo asks, rolling out the puppy dog eyes. Swallowing hard—he almost looks like…--I nod, handing them over as Jaxson wriggles to get down, joining his brothers on the nearest blanket.
“Share, boys,” Piper tells them with a sigh, stepping closer to watch them tuck in.
It doesn’t escape my notice that I’m far more aware of her presence than I should be as she stands at my side, one of her arms brushing mine as she shifts her bare feet in the sand. No shoes. For some reason, that makes me smile.
“Are you having fun?”
“Yeah,” she breathes. I can feel her gaze on the side of my face, but I can’t bring myself to turn away from the boys. Their bright smiles, their giggles as they point out the sauce they’re getting on their faces while they eat, their rosy cheeks… “Are you?”
I’m surprised when a “yes” slips from my mouth. Although, I guess I am having fun. “Kelly kicked me out of the truck,” I admit ruefully, rubbing the back of my neck as I realize I left my beer back there.
Piper’s lilting peals of laughter make my lips twitch upward just a touch. “Why does that not surprise me? Come on, have a seat. There’s plenty of room.”
Lowering myself down onto a free corner of the huge plaid blanket, I look around at all the people celebrating the holiday with their families. I can see Charlie and Jane Samuels nearby. Their little girl, Lakely, is making eyes at Arlo when I glance their way, so I’m not surprised when she sidles over a few minutes later and asks if he wants to go hunt for shells with her.
Beaming, Piper tells him to go once he’s wiped his face clean. Jaxson and Finley head off with them, then Danny abandons his ball game to run after his cousins, leaving just the adults to chat. I keep quiet, fairly content to just listen. As I expected, Rosie and Everly are here. They wander over with to-go cups of what look like margaritas.
“None for me, thank you,” Bethany says, waving them off. “I’m watching all the boys tonight.”
“You don’t need to do that, Mom. I don’t feel like going out, anyway.”
“Nonsense, honey. Go out with Rosie, Everly, and Gianna, let your hair down. You’ve been working so hard. You deserve a night out.”
Eyeing her sour face with curiosity, I ask, “Where are you ladies off to?”
Everly grins and twirls her straw between her fingers, cutting Piper off when she tries to say she’s not going out anywhere. “We’re going to Blue. It won’t be a super late night, Piper. Live a little, have some fun. Let your hair down, like Mom said. It’s not often we’re all free to go out on the same night.”
Groaning, Piper seems to accept that her mind has been made up for her and she’s heading to the only bar here in town, Blue. The new owners refurbished it when they moved into the bay last year; it’s become a popular hangout. I’ve never been, though. “Fine. I’d better have one of those now then.”
Rosie, Everly, and Gianna cheer as she takes a big gulp from Rosie’s cocktail, flashing me a small smile and rolling her eyes when the ladies are distracted by Sebastian.
Edging closer, I wonder…and then I decide to go for it. She can always say ‘no.’ “Do you want me to give you an out?”
Raising an eyebrow at my whisper, she tells me to go for it.
Clearing my throat, I force myself to sound somewhat casual but confused. “Uh, Piper, didn’t you say you would help me at the restaurant? You know, because the guys there want to go out since they missed the parade?”
Her smile bursts free for just a moment, but it’s enough to make my own small smile widen. She’s beautiful when she’s happy. When the joy in her face reaches her eyes, all bets are off. She’s truly stunning.
How did I never notice that before?
Guilt worms its way into my stomach as Piper runs with the story I’ve given her, my own mind miles away.
That’s right, because she was eighteen when
she left here. A baby. And of course, the fact that she’s your best friend’s daughter.
Another part of my brain points out that she’s still one of those things, she’s still Carson’s daughter, even if she’s now nearer thirty than twenty, but I’m noticing her more now. If Carson could hear my thoughts, if he’d seen where my eyes lingered when I first saw her earlier, he’d kill me. Sebastian would probably help him.
A week ago, I’d have said Piper herself would be disgusted to know what I was thinking, but after the other night, I’m not so sure. There was no disguising the want in her eyes, in her movements. She was visibly disappointed when I cooled things down before the spark could turn into an inferno.
“Another time.”
I tune back in time to hear Everly tell Piper that she’s a killjoy and so am I. I happen to disagree, so I reach out and gently flick Everly’s ear, guffawing when she turns around to face me with such a look of incredulity that everyone cracks up.
“Did you just flick me?”
“I might’ve.” Unsure if I’ve overstepped my bounds, I chance a look at the faces around us.
Most of the Fitzgeralds are laughing. Carson is shaking his head while keeping an eye on his grandsons, but he makes a show of drawing a line across his neck just to show me what I have coming from his youngest daughter. Piper offers me a high-five, earning herself quite the stink-eye from Everly.
However, it’s Bethany’s expression that makes me pause. She looks…contemplative? Her eyes are narrowed on me, her lips pursed.
Too distracted by Bethany, I miss the attack coming my way until the cold registers. Everly’s self-satisfied grin is at complete odds with the shock shooting through my veins. “Did you—shit, that’s cold!”
Apparently unconcerned with their dwindling supply, Everly tosses the last of the ice cubes at me—the ones that bounced off when she dumped the bucket over my head.
“That’ll cost you, Ev…” I warn, peeling my shirt over my head when it quickly becomes damp and cold.
“Shit!” She squeaks, scrambling backward on the sand. Before she can get out of reach, I wrap my fingers around her ankle and smirk, because I’ve known her since she was four years old.
I know that her feet are ticklish as hell.
*
Not too much later, I find myself down by the shore with Arlo as he hunts for shells.
When he called me over, I figured it was just to show me something. I didn’t realize he was expecting me to carry his stash while he carried on looking for others. As it is, my cupped hands are almost overflowing with shells of all shapes, colors, and sizes.
“Don’t you think you have enough, buddy?”
Arlo shakes his head, glancing over his shoulder at me before continuing along the edge of the water. “Nope. I’ve gotta rebuild my old collection from home. Momma said I couldn’t bring them all with me, so I left them for Nanny Jude. She’s got ‘em in a special jar we decorated so she can always remember me.”
A lump lodges itself firmly in my throat. This kid. Actually, these kids. Spending this evening with the Fitzgeralds has opened my eyes to their family dynamic. Things have shifted with the addition of Piper and her boys. They seem complete now in a way they didn’t before.
Crouching, I softly call Arlo back and wait until he’s standing in front of me before huffing a breath through my nose. “I don’t know, uh, Nanny Jude, but you’ve told me all about her, and do you know what I think?”
“What?” he asks, wrinkling his nose.
“I think she probably misses you a whole lot, and I’m sure there’s no way she’ll ever forget you, shells or no shells. Okay?”
Arlo offers me a silly grin, shrugging and brushing some of his wild hair away from his face, before taking off to resume his hunt with a content smile.
As I look around and find myself feeling comfortable with the company I’m in, I realize that Piper, Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo round out the family like a puzzle piece that’s been missing but was just found under a couch cushion.
When we eventually rejoin the gang on the blankets, Finley shoots me a shy smile when I ask him to hand me a pretzel rather than reaching over him.
“Here you go. The cupcakes are good, too. Momma helped Nana make those.”
Piper runs her fingers through his hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.
Forcing a smile, I make myself chew the pretzel even though my sense of taste has deserted me.
Once, I would have grinned at the sight of a parent fussing over her son. I would have admired it.
But that was before.
Now, it makes my stomach knot and my heart thump.
The sudden, high-pitched screech of a firework being set off distracts me from my morose train of thought before it can really take hold.
The navy sky is illuminated with sprays of every color in the rainbow as firework after firework shoots up into the atmosphere. Somewhere further down the beach, Mr. McCready—the janitor at Bay High—is setting them all off. It’s a great display. The pops, fizzes, and bangs are accompanied by the gasps and cheers of everyone on the sand. Gazing around, I see the faces of those I’ve known for years lit by the myriad of colors exploding above us. There are smiles everywhere I look, loving couples and captivated children everywhere I turn.
My eyes shift to Jaxson, Finley, and Arlo in turn. Finley is still right by his mom, his brothers on their knees as they excitedly point to each new splash of color as it appears. My lips curl up on one side. Rubbing my jaw, I feel a familiar burn at the back of my eyes.
She always loved the Fourth of July.
Looking back up at the sky, I wonder if she can see them now. I wonder if she can see the sounds that used to make her squeal and bounce on my shoulders.
“Look! Look at the blue one!”
Soft and warm, the hand sliding on top of my clenched fist makes me gasp, pulling me from my memories.
Piper’s eyes shine multi-colored, reflecting the pyrotechnics, as she squeezes my hand and offers me her understanding and comfort. I hesitate for maybe a couple seconds, loosening my fist and twisting our fingers together just as nerves begin to appear in her gaze. She turns back to the display, holding her son to her chest, but instead of joining her, I watch something far more captivating.
Her.
Twelve
Piper
Seeing my boys’ faces light up with delight as they watch the fireworks…it’s unreal.
They’ve seen them back in England, of course—at the annual airshow, at the New Year display, on Halloween, Guy Fawkes Night, plenty of times.
It’s having them here, on the beach where I spent my childhood, celebrating a holiday that has always been a big family occasion they’ve missed out on thus far, that makes it so special.
It’s only as I watch Arlo bouncing between my mom and dad that I catch a glimpse of Kellan’s face and my heart falls to my feet.
I get to see my children enjoy this wonderful show, but he doesn’t.
Reaching out to hold his hand was an impulse, but I’m so glad I did it. The grateful smile and hard squeeze he gave me in return made the moment of nerves before he loosened his hand and took mine worthwhile.
“Did you see that, Momma? That was so cool!” Jaxson shouts, leaping on top of me and his brother in his excitement.
“I did see, kiddo,” I laugh, pulling him to me and planting a loud kiss on his cheek. Kellan slips his hand out of mine, a tiny smile on his lips as he watches the boys jump all over me. For a moment, before the boys recapture my focus, I feel bereft. My hand feels cold. “Did you like it?”
“It was awesome, Momma!”
Arlo and Finley agree, but it’s not just them—around us, everyone is talking about how spectacular the display was.
“Oh, wow,” Mom breathes, leaning against Dad’s chest. “That was so well done!”
“It really was,” Rosie says, tapping away on her cell. No doubt
she was taking photos to post on the social media pages for Swan’s Nest.
“Did you like the fireworks, Kellan?” Arlo asks, bouncing right into his lap.
Any worry I might have had about my boy being too much for him evaporates the second Kellan grins and tugs Arlo in for a gentle noogie. “It would have been better without your big noggin’ bouncing all around the place, blocking my view.”
Arlo cackles, squirming and wriggling in Kellan’s lap until he gets himself free. “Hey, no fair! You’re bigger than me.”
“That’s because he eats all his vegetables,” I say seriously.
“Yuck, vegetables.” Arlo shudders, but he can’t contain his cheeky smile.
We all remain on the beach for a while longer. Eventually, the long day, all the sugar and excitement, and the late night catch up to the boys—mine and my brother’s.
“No,” Danny snaps, pulling away from Gianna as she tries to wrestle his arms into his zip-up sweater. “I don’t wanna go home.”
“Daniel Sebastian Fitzgerald, so help me…it’s late, it’s way past your bedtime, and everybody else is going home now, anyway. Look around you. If you don’t quit this tantrum, you’re not going for a sleepover with Nana, Papa, and your cousins.”
She’s right. All around us, people are packing up their picnic baskets and starting the trek up the beach toward The Boardwalk. Still, her being right isn’t enough to appease Danny. I wince, sympathetic to her plight when he rips his sweater off and tosses it in the sand.
“We don’t have to go, do we, Momma?” Arlo asks, puppy dog eyes in full swing.
“We sure do, kiddo.”
Mom has been busy packing everything up, but she pauses to crouch and give Arlo a hug. “Do you want to come home with me? I bet we could talk Papa into letting us use the big bath.”