by Rachel Hanna
“Thanks,” I say, trying not to make eye contact.
“Everyone is here. A few of the guys are already building the campfire. I’ll help you and Harper set up your tent.”
“My tent?” I say with my eyes wide.
“Yeah. You did bring a tent, right?”
I stop dead in my tracks. “No.”
Kent laughs. “Indy, we’re camping. Didn’t you think you’d need a tent?”
I cover my eyes with my hand. “I thought tents were already here. I told you, I’m not a camper.” I’m panicking now.
He puts his hand on my shoulder. “Look, we’ll work it out. I’m sure we can find accommodations for both of you.” He smiles that toothy grin and winks before leading us down the long hiking trail to our campsite.
The area where we’re camping is nicer than I anticipated, with a beautiful creek and lush greenery surrounding the campsite. It’s like a little oasis in the middle of the forest.
But it’s still very rustic. It’s not the Four Seasons, by any stretch. Because we’re so far into the woods, there is no bathroom. I don’t know why I didn’t anticipate this. Thankfully, because we’re such a large group, there is an outhouse available to us. Can’t wait to try that out. Not.
Harper is enjoying herself already. I love to see her running around, laughing with her friends. Making new ones. It makes my heart smile. I never understood what that phrase meant until just now.
“Hot chocolate?” Kent asks as he sits down next to me on a log by the campfire. It’s cool outside, so I pull my cardigan tighter around me. I might need to go retrieve my fleece jacket soon.
“Thanks,” I say, reaching up and taking the Styrofoam cup from his hands. Harper runs over and roasts a marshmallow before heading back to the creek where the other kids are. It’s almost pitch black dark, but we have tiki torches around the campsite, probably to ward off bobcats and bears - which I’m trying not to think about.
“Having fun yet?” he asks with a chuckle.
“Actually, it’s not too bad. I met a few of the families. Had a good hotdog. Made a s’more that rocked my world.”
“That must’ve been a really good s’more.”
“Harper told me she’s going to bunk with Olivia’s family.”
“And you?”
“No room at the inn for me just yet. I might just sleep in my car,” I suggest.
“Um, no. You can’t sleep in your car, Indy.”
“There are locks on my doors…”
“You’ll sleep with me.”
I swallow hard. “Excuse me?”
“I’m in a big tent alone. There’s plenty of room.”
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so uncomfortable. “Kent, I can’t do that.”
“Indy, I’m not going to maul you. I promise.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Look,” he says, turning slightly to face me. “I’m not going to lie. I would love to date you. I made a horrible mistake letting you go in high school. But I know you’re not interested. I get it. I know you have feelings for Dawson.”
I cough. “I don’t have feelings…”
“Please don’t try to deny it. You might get struck by lightning, and I’m sitting right next to you.”
I smile. “You’re a great guy, Kent.”
“But you’re not attracted to me like that. Right?”
I bite both of my lips. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too. But we can still be friends, right?” Gosh, that question makes me think of my current predicament with Dawson. It’s been several days since I saw him standing in the doorway of my office, and I miss him more than I care to admit.
“Of course.”
“Okay. Good. So as your friend, please sleep in my tent. I can’t be worried about you up in your car. And I know you don’t want to leave Harper alone down here.”
I sigh. “You make a good case.”
“I thought about being a lawyer.”
“But you settled on PE teacher?” I ask with a laugh.
“Better clientele.”
“Fine. I’ll sleep in your tent.” I finish my hot chocolate and place the cup on the ground by my feet.
“I was sorry to hear about Dawson’s mother,” he says offhandedly.
“What did you just say?”
“Wait. You didn’t know?”
“Know what?”
“She’s on her death bed, from what I heard. Dawson went to say his goodbyes.”
My heart squeezes, and I have to fight back tears. I was so rude to him before he left, and now he thinks I’m shacking up with Kent while he grieves.
For a moment, I consider leaving and trying to find him. But he’s not even in the state, and I can’t do that to Harper. My cell phone has virtually no signal out here, so I can’t even text him. I feel helpless.
“He didn’t tell me,” I say softly.
“He didn’t tell you? But you guys are so close.” Kent seems genuinely surprised.
“We had a little… argument…”
“Oh. Well, try not to let it bother you so you can enjoy this experience with Harper. I shouldn’t have said anything. I really thought you knew.”
“No, it’s okay,” I say, trying to sound unaffected. “I’m sure he’ll reach out to me when he gets back.”
We chat for awhile longer before everyone turns in. I make sure Harper goes into her tent before sneaking into Kent’s. He was right - it is a large tent, plenty big enough for at least four people. We place our bags between us before I slip into my sleeping bag.
All I can think about is Dawson. Where is he right now? Is he standing vigil beside his mother’s bed? How is he saying goodbye to the woman who made his life miserable for so many years? And does he think I don’t care?
I stare at the roof of the tent until I finally pass out from exhaustion.
The next morning, we have a big breakfast together with sausage, bacon and eggs before everyone treks out on their own. Some people are hiking while others are fishing in the small lake about a quarter of a mile from our campsite.
Harper asked to go on a scavenger hunt with a group of kids who were being chaperoned by one of the girl’s teenage brothers. He’s an Eagle Scout, so I feel comfortable letting him guide the group.
“What are you doing?” Kent asks when he sees me sitting on a rock down by the creek.
“Pondering.”
“Mind if I sit?”
I pat the rock next to me and smile.
“So what are you pondering, Indy? The meaning of life? Your purpose here on Earth?” he asks dramatically.
“I’m pondering why Sissy Davenport came on this camping trip wearing a full face of clown makeup and her skinny jeans.” Sissy is a teacher at the school, but she’s more known for her vanity than her teaching skills.
Kent lets out a loud laugh that echoes through the forest. “Well, I wasn’t expecting that response.”
I chuckle. “I probably shouldn’t have said that, but come on. I doubt she’s going to catch a husband way out here unless he’s a fugitive on the run or something.”
“You’re funny, Indy Stone.” He skips a rock across the pond, a talent that has always impressed me. I’ve never been able to do it correctly.
“Miss Stone!” someone calls from behind me. Whoever it is, they’re panicked about something.
I stand up and turn to see the teenage boy who was leading the scavenger hunt - I think his name is Samuel - standing at the edge of the creek bed.
“What’s wrong, Samuel?” Kent says before I can speak.
“It’s Harper. She’s… she’s missing!”
There are few things in life that will bring you straight to your knees than hearing the words that your child is missing. My brain feels like lightning is zipping around, bouncing from one side of my skull to the other. I feel Kent’s arm around my waist, stabilizing me from fainting and falling straight into the creek.
“It’s going to be okay, Indy. We’ll find h
er. I promise,” I hear him saying. His voice is soothing, but obviously full of fear.
In the last hour, we’ve managed to mobilize our group to start a search party. The owner of the campground has also called in additional searchers.
All I can hear is the sound of people calling Harper’s name. I honestly don’t know how she could’ve gotten so far out of earshot, and that terrifies me. Maybe she can’t hear us for some other reason.
“I was able to get in touch with the local news channel, and they’re running emergency alerts right now. Also the radio station…” I hear one man saying. I don’t even know his name, but I feel gratitude that he’s trying to find Harper.
I stand there by the extinguished campfire having no idea what to do. Kent told me we should stay here in case Harper finds her way back. But I want to do something. I just don’t know what.
“Has anyone checked my car?” I ask, knowing that it’s a stupid question.
“Yes,” Kent says, rubbing my arm. “We’ll find her…”
He keeps saying that. I hope he’s right. I think he just doesn’t know what else to say.
“I don’t understand how this happened.”
“Samuel said they got bored doing the scavenger hunt after awhile, so the kids decided to play hide and seek. Harper took off up one of the hills, but no one could find her. After half an hour, he came back to tell us.”
“But how did she get so far away?” I say out loud to no one in particular.
“We don’t know, Indy,” Kent says softly.
“Unless she’s hurt. God, what if she’s hurt?” I ask, staring up into Kent’s eyes. He looks worried. “What if she fell down a mountain or into a ravine? Or bears? Aren’t there bears around here? Can we call some kind of forest ranger?”
“Indy, the rangers are already here looking with our search party. Everyone is doing all they can. We just have to wait…”
“I don’t want to wait!” I yell. “I need to do something! That’s my kid out there, for goodness sakes!”
I pace back and forth, desperate for this moment to be over. I just want to see Harper walking toward me, her bright red hair glistening under the streams of sunlight poking through to the darkened forest floor.
Hours pass as I alternate between pacing quietly and ranting and raving at Kent for no real reason. I cry. I beg. I pray. Morning turns to afternoon, and there’s still no sign of her.
“The area is very heavy with vegetation,” one of the experienced hikers says as he comes to give me an update. “We’ve covered the whole western side of the mountain all the way down into the valley. I don’t know how she could’ve gone any further than that.”
“And what about the east side?” I ask, frustrated and exhausted.
“It’s very treacherous over there, and nobody here has the hiking equipment to get down there very far. I doubt that…”
“Doubt that what?”
He looks at Kent and then looks at his feet.
“Don’t treat me like I’m some kind of weak woman!”
“I doubt that anyone without serious hiking skills could survive the east side, ma’am. I’m sorry to be so blunt but…”
I sit down on a log slowly, the weight of what he’s just said sinking in. “God, I can’t lose her. I just can’t.”
The hiker walks off into the woods again, and Kent joins me on the ground, his arm wrapped tightly around me. I put my head on his shoulder and sob. I can’t hold it together any longer.
Kent pulls me in tighter and rocks me gently back and forth. It feels good to be held, but I wish it was Dawson. And that makes me mad at myself.
“Indy?”
I turn around and think I’m hallucinating. Dawson is standing there, a look of concern on his face.
“Dawson?” I say, standing up. Kent stands behind me. “I thought you were out of town?”
“I came back this morning. I heard the news… I came as soon as I could…”
I don’t think about it. I immediately rush toward his waiting arms. He pulls me in close, and I rest my tear-stained cheek against his chest. Right now, I don’t care what kind of mixed signals I’m sending. I need him like the air I breathe.
He presses his mouth against the top of my head and then against my ear. “I’m going to find Harper. I promise you. I won’t rest until I do.”
I pull back and look at him. His eyes are filled with tears, but he swallows hard and they retreat before they can spill over.
“They said the west side has been covered, and the east side would be almost impossible for an inexperienced hiker, much less a kid…”
He grabs my shoulders and leans down, looking me in the eyes. “When we were kids, you saved me, Indy,” he says softly where only I can hear. “And now I’m going to return that favor.”
He kisses my cheek softly and then heads straight for the woods before I can say another word.
Chapter 13
It’s getting dark. All of the searchers have returned, except for Dawson. There has been no sign of Harper, even after the helicopter started looking around three o’clock. When the sun started setting, the helicopter had to retreat for the night.
I’m feeling more hopeless by the minute, and now I’m worried about Dawson too.
“You need to eat something, Indy,” Kent urges yet again, holding out a hotdog on a skewer. I brush it away.
“I told you I’m not hungry.”
I stare into the dark woods, hoping to see any sign of Dawson or Harper. But there’s no light. There’s just nothing. And it’s getting colder. I don’t think she can survive the night.
With every passing hour, the reality sets in more and more. I’ve prayed to God. To Jesus. To Danny. To my dead grandmother.
“Where is he?” I say out loud. Kent sighs.
“I’m sure Dawson is fine.”
“You don’t even like Dawson,” I say flatly.
“Sure I do. I just kind of wish you didn’t.” His attempt at humor isn’t landing well at all. “Sorry. Wrong time. Just trying to break the tension a bit.”
I sit down beside him and stare at the fire. “You know what’s weird?”
“What?”
I take the hot dog from his hands and pinch off a piece. I have no appetite, but falling out from low blood sugar wouldn’t help Harper and would divert resources from the search for her.
“My whole world used to be clients back in Charleston. And now my whole world is out there lost in the woods.”
“I don’t think you just mean Harper.”
“What makes you say that?”
“I saw how you looked at him, Indy. How you ran to him like he was your lifeline. You love Dawson.”
“Now isn’t the time for this…”
“No. You’re right. But when this is all over… when he brings your daughter out of those woods safe and sound… you need to remember this conversation.”
I hear his words, but I’m stuck on “safe and sound”. Is that even possible?
I feel like I’m losing my mind. As I watch the sun rise through the small spaces between the trees, I feel hopeless. Dawson never came back. Harper hasn’t come back. My world is imploding around me, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.
The search team has tripled in size, and they’re about to go out again. I overheard some official-looking guy saying that this was about to turn into a recovery mission instead of a rescue because of the low nighttime temperatures.
I feel like I’ve cried all of the tears I have. I want to cry more, but there’s nothing there. Kent keeps force feeding me water and hot dogs. I swear I never want to see another hot dog again for the rest of my life.
“I’m going stir crazy here,” I say to Kent. He hasn’t left my side since this whole thing began. He’s a good friend. No one else really talks to me now. I think they don’t know what to say. I’ve bitten off a few heads that said the “wrong” thing to me, so most people keep their distance. A part of me wonders how I could have
so much training as a therapist and not be able to deal with this crisis better than I am right now.
“I know. I’m so sorry this is happening to you, Indy. You don’t deserve it.” He puts his arm my shoulder for the thousandth time and I lay my head down.
“Maybe I do deserve it,” I say softly.
“No. You don’t. Stop saying that.”
I sit up and stick my hands out to warm them by the fire. “I’ve made some mistakes in my life, Kent.”
“We all have.”
“It’s only recently that I started to think this was it, you know? I finally had my life together. I finally felt like the pieces were sliding together in my favor.”
“Don’t give up hope, Indy. She’s out there. They both are.”
I stand up and move closer to the fire, watching it flicker in the last pieces of darkness shadowing our campsite. “She’s my daughter. She’s not just my niece anymore. She’s not just some stranger that had to come live with me. She’s my world, Kent. I didn’t tell her that. She doesn’t know how much I love her right now.”
He stands and puts his hands on my shoulders. “Yes, she does.”
“Indy?” a woman says from behind me. Her voice is frantic.
“Yes?”
“We’ve got to go. The searchers think they’ve found something a few miles down the east side, at the lowest part of the river. We’ll have to drive there.”
Oh God. The river. It dawns on me that I have no idea if she even knows how to swim. How can a mother not know that about her child?
“Is it Harper? Is she alive?” I ask as I follow her up the trail to the parking lot.
“I don’t know,” she calls back to me. “That’s all they would tell me. That they found ‘something’.” I push back the fear that “something” is her body.
Kent runs along beside me, and we jump in his truck. I’m in no shape to drive. The drive to the river is steep, and we finally have to get out at a trailhead for experienced hikers. Getting down to the area we need to go is challenging to say the least. The drive alone was several miles, but the hike is grueling and almost completely vertical.
I slide the remainder of the way on a pile of dead leaves and almost run into a tree before getting to my feet again. The woman, a local hiker herself, leads us by using some navigational tool she has in her hand.