‘You’re pregnant? And you didn’t tell me?’
She flinched at the harshness of his voice but he didn’t care. He’d been so careful to protect his future. Now a moment’s lust, a moment’s carelessness, had thrown everything off course.
She didn’t look any different—still slim. But when he thought about last night he remembered that her breasts had seemed larger. He’d appreciated that. It must be a symptom too.
‘I only found out myself this morning,’ she said.
Her bottom lip was quivering, and she looked near to tears, but she met his gaze fearlessly. She gripped the veranda railing so hard her knuckles showed white.
‘This morning? When you went to the doctor?’ Strangely, he believed her.
‘Yes. I got the shock of my life,’ she said. ‘I wasn’t expecting it at all.’
He looked again at her slender figure in the tight black jeans. ‘You’re absolutely sure you’re pregnant?’
She nodded. ‘There’s no doubt. The doctor gave me a test and examined me.’
Zoe pregnant.
He was struggling to get his head around it.
‘But how did it happen?’ He realised what a stupid remark that was the second the words were out of his mouth. He and Zoe had made love with passionate intensity all through that sizzling tropical night two months ago.
Through her misery, a spark of his Zoe emerged. ‘The usual way,’ she said. ‘You know—basic biology.’
‘But we were careful. You’re on the pill.’ He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He should have taken care of the contraception.
‘I know. But the doctor told me the pill doesn’t work if it’s not absorbed. And the Bali belly meant it didn’t get digested. So no protection.’
It was the first time Mitch had seen Zoe so downcast; her lovely mouth set tight, her face strained, her eyes shadowed.
‘So your illness wasn’t an illness at all?’
‘The initial food poisoning, yes. But once I got back to Australia it was what’s called morning sickness.’ Her mouth twisted wryly. ‘Or, in my case, sometimes all-day sickness.’
Percolating through Mitch’s shock was real anger. He’d been worried half-crazy about her. Driving back from the airport earlier, he had been imagining her with a serious, possibly fatal illness. What angered him was how dishonest she’d been.
He’d been stupid. She’d lied.
He made no effort to mask his anger. ‘So when did you intend to tell me you were pregnant?’
He doubted she was even aware she was wringing her hands together. ‘I...I didn’t know how you would react. What...what you’d think of me.’
‘You were going to let me fly back to Madrid without a word? What was I going to get—a lawyer’s letter, demanding maintenance?’
She cringed from him. ‘No! I was in shock. I was...frightened.’
Mitch took a step towards her. ‘You were frightened? Frightened of me? What did you think I would do to you?’
Her face crumpled. ‘I didn’t know. I was so shocked. Trust me when I say it never entered my head that I could be having a baby. I didn’t want you to think I...I’d tricked you into...into some kind of commitment. Or that I expected anything from you. I know how important it is to you to be...unencumbered. A baby certainly doesn’t figure anywhere in your plans.’ Her chin rose. ‘It didn’t figure in mine either.’
A baby. The actual word ‘baby’ hit him. Pregnancy was one thing. Baby was another. The reality was that Zoe was bearing a child—his child. Realising that sent Mitch into a deeper state of shock.
He and Zoe were going to be parents.
‘Did you ever intend to tell me that I was going to be a father?’
He a father. Zoe the mother of his child.
The thoughts were so shocking, so unexpected, whirling around his head.
‘Yes. No. I didn’t know what to do.’
‘You lied to me, Zoe. You said your sickness was caused by food allergies.’
‘It was the first thing I could think of that might sound plausible. I didn’t want you going back to Madrid worrying about it. Not when I know how extremely important the next few months are for you.’
‘You’re damn right about that,’ he said.
Her chin tilted. ‘I don’t expect anything from you, Mitch. Not money. Not support.’ Her mouth twisted bitterly. ‘I know I’m nothing to you except a casual bedmate. If I ever thought anything else this sure as heck proves it.’
She headed for the bedroom, pushing past him. She picked up her red bag.
‘I assume I can get a taxi from here? I’ll walk down to the surf club to wait for one.’
He took a step towards her. ‘Zoe—stop.’
She put a hand up to ward him off. ‘Don’t come near me,’ she said, her voice as cold as her eyes.
She was leaving him again.
He grabbed her arm. She went still.
‘Touch me again, Mitch, and I’ll have an assault charge on you so fast your head will be spinning.’
He stared at her, shocked. How had it come to this? After all they’d shared last night? What had happened to his plans for her to become part of his life? He’d been wrong to react the way he had.
She turned and walked away from him, her back ramrod-straight. But he could see her shoulders shaking.
As she left the room the enormity of what he’d done hit him. Zoe hadn’t planned this. She’d tried to save him worry. He cared for her. She was having his child. And she was walking out of his life. A life he’d begun to hope she could share with him.
He took the strides necessary to reach her. ‘Zoe. Stop. I’m sorry. I was out of order, speaking to you in that way. It was a shock. But I was wrong to react like that.’
She turned back to face him, her lips set in a tight line. ‘I want nothing from you, Mitch.’
‘But what about the baby?’
‘There’s just one thing. For his or her sake I’d like you to acknowledge the child as yours. To play a role in its life.’
The truth slammed into Mitch and left him reeling. He wanted Zoe. He wanted the baby.
‘Zoe, I really am sorry. Please don’t walk away. It was an accident, but we’re in it together. My child. My responsibility. You don’t have to go through this by yourself.’
To his intense relief she put down her red bag.
No way was he going to ‘play a role’ in his son or daughter’s life. He was going to be a father. A good father. Like his father had been to him. And his grandfather before him.
‘When is the baby due?’
‘February, the doctor said.’
The reality of it hit him with full force. Something akin to anticipation, even a stirring of excitement, began to infiltrate his thoughts.
‘My parents will be beside themselves,’ he said. ‘Especially my mother—she’s desperate for more grandchildren.’
‘You...you’d tell your parents?’ Zoe’s eyes were huge with trepidation.
‘Of course I’ll tell my parents. This isn’t just about you and me, Zoe. Not any more. This will be the next generation of my family. A Bailey grandchild. A Bailey great-grandchild. A niece or nephew. A cousin. In my family our child will be a reason for celebration—not commiseration.’
Zoe shook her head in seeming disbelief. She put her hand on her belly in an age-old gesture of protection that shot straight to Mitch’s heart.
‘I...I’m still coming to terms with this. That we’ve made a little person.’
‘You’re thinking about what your grandmother said, aren’t you?’
That mean old witch had a lot to answer for, the way she’d treated her hurting, vulnerable granddaughter. She wouldn’t be getting her claws into his child, that was for sure.
Mutely, Zoe nodded.
‘This baby won’t ruin my life,’ Mitch said. ‘You are not ruining my life. We’re twenty-seven—not seventeen. Our careers are established. We’ve got more than enough money.’
Zoe had no idea just how much money.
‘All true,’ she said.
But Mitch could sense a big Zoe but coming up.
The more he thought about this baby, the more he thought it wasn’t such a disaster. He wanted Zoe. He had to look after her and the baby. They had to be with him.
‘Zoe,’ he said. ‘Come here.’
He held out his arms to her. Her eyes widened but she took the few steps needed so he could draw her into his arms. He held her tight, close to his heart. He allowed relief to flood through him. She was okay. Not ill. Not terminal. Pregnant with his child. He would look after her. He would protect her.
‘I’m not angry. Not any more,’ he said. ‘I’ll admit it was a shock. But this child is our responsibility. We need to get married as soon as possible.’
* * *
Zoe froze in Mitch’s arms. She pulled away. Looked up at him. ‘Get married?’
Mitch drew his brows together. ‘Of course, get married. You’re pregnant.’
He sounded so certain, so matter-of-fact.
Problem solved. Let’s get on with it.
Not a word about love.
Could you actually feel a heart breaking? That must surely be the explanation for the sudden pain that stabbed her somewhere in that region.
During those long, sleepless hours this morning, when she’d decided to end things with Mitch, she’d allowed herself a single moment to dream of the impossible. She’d let herself fantasise that Mitch would fall in love with her the way she’d fallen in love with him. That their planets might end up permanently aligned.
Her pregnancy had put paid to those dreams.
Those ever-present tears started to sting her eyes again but she fiercely blinked them back. Darn hormones.
‘Just because I’m pregnant it’s no reason to get married,’ she said.
Mitch’s frown deepened. ‘Of course it is. I’m old-fashioned, Zoe. I want us to be married before you have the baby.’
She broke away from him, turned, looked blindly out at the view. Then spun back to face him.
‘Mitch, I appreciate your gesture. It’s honourable of you. Gentlemanly. But I can’t marry you.’
‘I don’t get it. You’re having my child. I want it to have my name. I want us to be together when he or she is born. To bring our child up together. Give him or her a good life.’
‘That’s impossible.’
He shrugged. ‘There’d be some logistical problems—I acknowledge that. You’d have to come to Madrid to live with me. I can’t live here. Not now. Not yet. But I know you want to travel, learn European languages, so I hope you won’t mind that. We’d have to sort something out with your business... You could even bring your cat if you wanted.’
The pain in her heart intensified. She wanted to be with Mitch in Madrid more than anything—but not like this.
‘No, Mitch. I can give my child a good life here in Sydney. But I want my child to know his or her father. I want you to be involved. Maybe...maybe when our baby is older he or she could spend time with you in Madrid, or wherever you end up living. It should be possible to have some kind of shared custody, if that’s what you want. I don’t know... I haven’t had time to think it through.’
If only it could be different—him, her and their baby together.
Mitch’s mouth set in a hard line. For the first time she saw the toughness, the aggressive strength she knew must be there for him to have got where he was in his ultra-competitive world.
‘I don’t agree,’ he said. ‘A child needs both mother and father, and I want to be a father to my child.’
‘You can be a father, Mitch. I would encourage you to have a relationship with our child. I...I just don’t want to get married.’
How it hurt to say that. To lie.
‘Why, Zoe? Surely it’s the only answer.’
Slowly, she shook her head. ‘Mitch, I don’t think I’m getting through to you.’ It was difficult to keep her voice steady and reasoned. ‘Don’t you remember what I told you in Bali? I only want to get married if...if I’m head over heels in love.’
‘I remember,’ he said slowly.
The love was there on her side. There was no doubt about that. She’d been in love with him when she was seventeen—a hopeless, unrequited love. And it had been ignited again in Bali, she now realised.
‘The man I marry has to love me in the same way. I...I can’t settle for less. Not...not even to give my baby its father’s name.’
‘But, Zoe, I do love you,’ Mitch said.
Her poor wounded heart soared. But she yanked it firmly back to the ground again.
‘Mitch, you don’t have to say that. It doesn’t change things.’
Mitch took her by the shoulders, his voice low and urgent. ‘Zoe, I’m not just saying this. I love you. Why do you think I came back this morning? Brought you down here? You know I’ll get a hell of a fine and a reprimand from my club for not being on that plane to Madrid, for missing a game.’
‘You’re missing a game? But, Mitch, that’s so important to you. Your knee—your—’
‘Not as important as you, Zoe. When I drove home from your place last night I was determined you’d come and visit me in Madrid as soon as you could. Once you were there, I might not have been able to let you go. I’m asking you to marry me now. Most likely I would have asked you to marry me when you came to Madrid.’
‘But it... But... I want to believe you, but it seems so sudden.’
‘Does it?’ He tilted her face so she was forced to meet his gaze. ‘I wasn’t completely honest with you in Bali.’
She shrank back from him. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I left out part of my story about when we were at school together. When I came back from soccer camp I kept looking out for you at school because I wanted to say how sorry I was for the way I’d behaved. But that wasn’t all. I missed you. Really missed you. School wasn’t the same without you. I missed our talks. I missed the way we laughed together. The way you believed I was so much more than anyone else thought I was.’
‘I still think that,’ she murmured, not expecting an answer.
‘When I went round to your grandmother’s place and she told me you wouldn’t be coming back I was gutted. I got moody—bad-tempered. Lara didn’t like it. “What’s the matter with you?” she taunted me. “Were you in love with that geek girl?”’
Zoe felt herself blush for her seventeen-year-old self. ‘Surely she didn’t say that?’
‘She’d hit on a truth I hadn’t recognised until she put voice to it. It all made sense. I did have feelings for you—feelings I hadn’t acknowledged. That’s why I missed you so much. I snapped back at Lara. Denied it. I realised then why she’d been so mean to you. She was jealous. She’d seen how it was with you and me from the get-go.’
‘I can’t believe this,’ Zoe said, slowly shaking her head. She wanted to believe it. But it seemed surreal.
‘Believe it,’ said Mitch. ‘My first break-up with Lara was over you.’
‘But you got back with her. Stayed with her for years, on and off.’
‘You weren’t around. I was seventeen. Lara was persuasive. What can I say?’ Mitch said with a rueful grin.
‘So how do you explain what happened in Bali?’ she said, still reeling from what Mitch had confessed.
‘You caught my eye straight away. I thought you were hot even before I recognised you.’
‘Really?’ she said, pleased. It didn’t hurt a plain girl’s ego to hear that she’d caught Mitch Bailey’s eye.
‘You were wearing a towel that scarcely covered your amazing body. Of course I noticed you.’
‘I don’t know what to say to that,’ she said. ‘I was terrified the towel was going to fall off.’
‘I was hoping the towel would fall off.’
‘Mitch!’ she said with mock indignation, and laughed.
‘I thought I was long over you. That my feelings for you had been a teen thing. I was
glad to see you and to be able to put things straight. That was all. I didn’t expect to fall in love with you all over again.’
‘And...did you?’ She couldn’t control the tremor in her voice.
He nodded with a smile that set her heart racing. ‘But I didn’t realise how hard I’d fallen until I was back in Madrid. I tried to deny it. Man, did I try to deny it. The timing wasn’t right. Like the timing of this baby isn’t right. But we can’t control that, can we? Life can have a way of making up our minds for us.’
‘My getting pregnant, you mean? Or...or you falling in love?’
‘Both,’ he said. He cupped her face in his strong, gentle hands. ‘What about you, Zoe? Could you fall in love with me?’
The look of mingled hope and expectation in his eyes made her knees feel weak and shaky.
‘Oh, Mitch, I’m already in love with you.’
‘Head over heels?’
‘So head over heels I feel dizzy. I had a crush on you at school, but I never dreamed it would be reciprocated in any way.’
‘It was such a long time ago. We were kids.’
‘But the emotions were real,’ she said slowly. She thought back to those hours she’d spent with Mitch in the privacy of her villa. ‘I...I think I fell in love with you during our water fight.’
‘I can’t pinpoint when. It was just...there,’ he said. ‘And everything changed. I tried to tell myself it was just a vacation thing. Reaction to fear of the earthquake. All that. Then when I saw you in Sydney, looking so hot in that pink suit, I knew the attraction was genuine. But you were so glamorous, so contained—so unlike the Zoe I’d known in Bali. I wasn’t sure it was the same person.’
‘I was terrified of saying the wrong thing. It took a while for us to relax with each other.’
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Until I wiped you out on the dodgems.’
‘I’m glad we worked it out,’ she said, hoping he could tell the depth of her feelings for him.
At last he kissed her, his mouth warm and possessive and tender.
Kissing a man you loved, who loved you, who wanted to spend his life with you, felt so different from the other kisses she’d shared with Mitch. Just as exciting, just as sensual, but taken to a new level by love. She wanted Mitch’s kisses for the rest of her life. Never anyone else’s.
From Paradise...to Pregnant! Page 15