by Kaitlyn Rice
Ethan carried Luke to the swings. By the time he’d buckled the little boy snugly into the baby swing, Callie had returned. She stood a few feet in front of them, waiting. Ethan pulled the swing back a few feet and let go, sending the child swaying toward Callie.
Luke shrieked in delight while Callie and Ethan stood smiling at each other from opposite sides of the swing set.
Dressed in jean shorts and a white T-shirt, Callie fit in with all the other mothers in the park today, except for her luscious legs. He’d always had a thing for her legs.
They were as gorgeous as ever, but she seemed different. It was nice to see her smiling again. During those last months in Denver, she’d forgotten how to enjoy life.
“You get a kick out of Luke, don’t you?” Ethan asked.
“Sure I do. He’s a sweet kid,” Callie said, catching Luke and letting go to keep him swinging.
Too bad she wouldn’t get to watch him grow up from a closer vantage point. If she saw him only on special occasions, she’d miss so much. “You ought to move back here,” Ethan said.
Callie made a wry face, then caught the swing and unbuckled Luke. Pulling him into her arms, she carried him toward the slide with Ethan following.
“Why did that suggestion bother you?” he asked.
Callie sighed, then shifted Luke to one hip so she could hang on to the ladder with one hand. “It sounded like an old, tired argument. You know I love my job in Denver.”
“Of course I do. Remember me? I’m the guy who desperately wanted you to come to Kansas with me.”
“You wanted the position on Wichita’s helicopter squad.”
No. He’d wanted both—the job and Callie.
Ethan waited until she’d gone down the slide and returned to the ladder, then he admitted, “Yes, I did. And all I’m saying is that you are very attached to your nephew. Don’t you want to live nearer to Isabel?”
“Living here isn’t an option for me.” Callie sighed when Luke reached for Ethan, but she handed him across and walked around to wait at the bottom of the slide.
Ethan carried Luke up the ladder, and when he got to the top, he held the little boy on his lap. “I guess I never understood why you were so intense about it. I only searched for work here because I thought you should spend more time with your sisters.”
“You did?”
“Sure.”
“I thought you just wanted a way out.”
Ethan scowled, thinking back. After her mother died, Callie had been inconsolable. She’d also been frantic for a baby and following her doctor’s every recommendation, to the point where Ethan had had little say in the matter.
When she’d told Ethan, for perhaps the fifth time, that she might never have married him if she’d known she couldn’t have a baby, he’d given up.
Maybe leaving her had been a mistake.
Maybe the marriage had been a mistake.
No. It hadn’t.
They’d married young—Ethan had been twenty and Callie nineteen—but they’d been great together for a long time.
“Why didn’t you tell me that, Ethan?”
Ethan watched Luke kick his feet against the slide. “I guess that’s what happens when couples don’t talk. I do regret it. We should have worked harder.”
Finally, Ethan let himself slide down. During that few seconds, he listened to the baby’s chortle and watched Callie’s face reveal a legion of emotions.
When he got to the bottom, Ethan stood with Luke in his arms and watched Callie kiss the baby on the cheek.
Then she kissed Ethan again.
This was an innocent peck beside his mouth, but it was as powerful as any kiss they’d shared. A silent apology, certainly. Callie was telling him she believed he’d had her best interests in mind, after all.
It also felt like a kiss of forgiveness.
“YOU HAVE TO STOP kissing me,” Ethan said, although the warmth in his tone communicated the opposite.
Callie studied the upward curves of his mouth and the deep dimples that matched his son’s almost exactly. Then she glanced into his eyes and quickly away. She couldn’t believe she had just kissed him again.
But then again, she could. She’d never lost her feelings for Ethan, but she’d learned to push them aside so she could function. Spending time with him wasn’t helping.
She should be careful. Whatever affection she had for Ethan—whether inspired by a new crush or a thousand old memories—couldn’t be allowed to develop further. She need only remember her son, the baby Ethan believed was her nephew, to find her resolve.
“I know. I will,” she replied. “That was hardly a kiss, though. I was simply saying thanks. You’re a gallant ex-husband, at times.”
“I’m not your ex-husband yet.”
Ethan’s too-quiet voice held a challenge. Callie lifted Luke from his arms and walked away.
When she realized that Ethan was walking beside her, she said, “Well, but you will be my ex. I’ve seen the way LeeAnn watches you. She won’t let you wait long.”
What was she saying?
She might not be anxious to explore thoughts of a reconciliation, but she shouldn’t mention the topic of divorce again, either. Callie wondered if her plan was too outrageous. Could she escape Ethan’s interest, and also avoid a divorce?
Not at the rate she was going.
Here at this Augusta park, on a bright and sunny day, with Ethan so charming and her little birthday boy so smitten with his own father, it sounded crazy. She’d have to try harder.
For the moment, she could avoid her memories and any serious discussions about their marriage, their divorce and the amazing LeeAnn.
Heading for the merry-go-round, Callie climbed on and sat in the middle with Luke on her lap. “Spin us around, would you?” she told Ethan. “But go slow.”
Ethan stood at the edge of the play equipment, pushing gently against the metal bars. “What are you doing later?” he asked.
Now there was a memory.
Callie had met Ethan eleven years ago, across a study table at the Wichita State University library. They’d started talking about their college classes, and after an hour of whispering he’d said exactly the same thing.
What are you doing later?
Back then, she’d said “nothing” and their romance had begun. She’d met him after dinner at Augusta’s Miller’s Five drive-in, where they had ordered two root beer floats to go. They’d walked around downtown for over two hours, talking all the while. Augusta’s downtown area had never been large, so they’d made the same loop several times.
Now Callie frowned as she whirled slowly around with Luke resting against her body. She wanted to say “nothing” again, just to hear Ethan’s response, but in her confusion she didn’t answer.
“Isabel said you were all planning to celebrate Luke’s birthday together later this evening,” Ethan said.
Oh. That was what he’d meant. What was she doing later tonight, for Luke’s birthday.
“Nothing too exciting,” she said. “I bought ingredients for a cake and a spaghetti dinner. He’ll have his first bigboy meal followed by his first taste of chocolate cake.”
“All those firsts sound fun.”
“Luke had his first real haircut today, too,” she said.
And he spent his first morning in the park with his daddy. He demanded his daddy’s attention for the first time. And he played basketball with him.
However, neither father nor son would know today that they’d celebrated all those firsts together. They might never know.
All at once, dizziness overwhelmed Callie. “Stop pushing,” she said. “I need to get off.”
Ethan stopped the merry-go-round, and Callie sat for a minute, recovering. When Luke whimpered, she suspected that the motion had been lulling him to sleep.
“You think he wants to ride more?” Ethan asked. “I can sit with him now, if you’ll push.”
Callie smiled at her little boy. “No. See the pink under hi
s eyes?”
“Sure.”
“That means he’s sleepy. I’d better take him to Josie’s.”
Ethan nodded. “All right. I really should head to Wichita. LeeAnn’s been feeling neglected lately.” He stared at Callie, as if he was surprised he’d said that to her.
Callie was glad that he had mentioned LeeAnn. If his girlfriend felt undervalued, maybe she’d find another cowboy who had more time for her. Then maybe she’d quit nagging Ethan about the divorce.
Then maybe he’d drop it.
“Unless you want to walk with me,” Callie said. “If I put Luke in his stroller, we could walk him for a while and he’d probably go to sleep. It’s such a nice day, we could park his stroller in the shade and enjoy the fresh air.”
Ethan raised his eyebrows. “Really?”
What was she doing? Most definitely, her invitation had been a heart-driven impulse. But the gruff breathlessness in Ethan’s response had caught her attention. He wanted to stay as much as she wanted him to.
In spite of LeeAnn. In spite of Callie’s why nots.
Why shouldn’t they take a walk together on the gorgeous May day that also happened to be their son’s first birthday? Lots of divorcing couples must do the same.
Callie nodded. “Really.”
As far as Luke was concerned, the plan worked like a charm. He was asleep within five minutes. Callie parked his stroller beneath a massive cottonwood tree and sat in the grass next to her husband, leaning against the tree trunk while they plucked tall dandelions.
A gentle breeze flowed through the branches overhead, the constant whir of the leaves inviting conversation. The rush of wind would carry their words away, keeping them private and safe.
They talked about Ethan’s job and Callie’s latest research. He loved the quick response time and the diversity of the helicopter patrol. She thought her current project might have a real impact on the treatment of ovarian cancer within the next decade.
Although they faced outward, toward the park road, Callie couldn’t have been more aware of Ethan if she’d been eyeing him straight on. He had his long, jeans-clad legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles, next to hers.
She remembered their rock-solid feel, hot against her skin. Whenever he’d hugged her. Whenever they’d sat together in a car or on a sofa. In bed.
Wherever.
They discussed Isabel’s house again, and Ethan’s shirt-sleeve tickled Callie’s arm. After she’d brushed away the sensation for the third or fourth time, he leaned nearer. Now his arm rested heavily against hers.
Was he even aware that they were touching? Aware of the sensations he was provoking in her?
Callie considered moving away. But she treasured the solid weight of him so much that she remained. She recognized that this was just the sort of mindless attraction her mother had warned her about.
The conversation turned to Ethan’s parents, who’d relocated to Arizona a year after Ethan and Callie were married. As long as the subject matter remained neutral, Callie felt comfortable talking to Ethan. A couple of times, she realized she was relaxing too much. She worried that she’d make some comment about Luke’s day care experiences, or about some incredible thing he’d done back in Denver.
She managed well until Ethan sat up straighter to peer at Luke in his stroller. “Funny, he doesn’t take after Isabel or her boyfriend. Sometimes when he concentrates, he reminds me a little bit of you.” He chuckled. “Or even of me. He has hair similar to mine, doesn’t he?”
“You think so?” Callie asked, her heart racing. “Well, that makes sense, I guess. Isabel has brown hair.”
Ethan glanced at her. “Does Roger have brown eyes?”
He did, thank heaven. Dark brown eyes. Not warm amber ones. “Yes, he does,” Callie said quickly.
Ethan returned his attention to the sleeping baby.
Callie worried that her little boy would wake up and grin at his new friend, and Ethan might realize where he’d seen similar eyes and dimples and hair before.
In the mirror this morning.
Panicking, Callie threw down the dandelions she’d been bunching into a bouquet and sprang to her feet. “I’d better get Luke home, after all,” she said. “I still haven’t made his cake or wrapped his gift from me. I’d be smart to use his nap time.”
Ethan got up, too. “You won’t wake him when you transfer him to the car seat?”
Callie was already starting to push the stroller toward the rental car. “I don’t think so,” she said. “All this fresh air has him pretty tuckered out.”
“Do you need help?”
“No. You go on home. Call LeeAnn or do whatever. Have fun. Goodbye.”
As she drove to Josie’s apartment, Callie wondered again if she had the wits to see this whole charade through. Every time she saw Ethan, she forgot most of her resolve. She’d be smart to avoid him.
She’d be smarter still to keep him away from Luke. A one-year-old might not communicate much, but Luke had been saying “momma” lately, pretty clearly. He also looked more and more like his daddy every day.
Now that Isabel’s phone line was due for reconnection, avoiding Ethan might be easier. Callie would call before she took Luke by Isabel’s house, she’d visit for only short spells and she’d keep the baby away whenever Ethan was expected.
Ethan didn’t need to see her or Luke to help Isabel. Callie would instruct her sisters to put her estranged husband to work every time he showed up, even if they had to send him to the backyard with a bucket of cleaner and a scrub brush. The man was born to help. If Isabel asked him to, he’d probably scrape grime off the outside of the house.
Callie needed to remember three things: that Ethan had left her, that she alone had chosen to bring her precious boy into the world, and that she couldn’t fathom losing her son entirely.
If Callie remembered those things, she’d find her resolve.
Chapter Seven
By the time Ethan had finished ripping out Isabel’s ruined bathroom vanity, it was just after eight o’clock. Too late for him to make it to Wichita for the beginning of Lee-Ann’s concert, or to launch another cleanup project here at the house. The city inspector was overworked, but Callie’s middle sister was expecting her name to appear at the top of his waiting list at any moment. Then, she’d said, her new bathroom and kitchen cabinets would be installed.
Ethan was grateful for the break. His stiff hands and sore back reminded him that he wasn’t some passionate kid out to save the world anymore. He heard Josie’s radio playing in the second bedroom, so he went to check on her progress.
She’d knelt in the doorway to paint the very last corner of the room.
“Wouldn’t this be Luke’s room?” he asked.
Josie jumped, then chuckled as she glanced at him. “I forgot you were still here,” she said. Squinting, she studied the room she’d been painting all evening. “Oh, yeah. Luke’s room.”
“Funny choice of color, for a baby’s room,” he said. “Is that tan or orange?”
“It’s Majestic Gold. Very princely.”
“Oh. Well, we got a lot done today,” he said. “Guess it was a good idea to divide and conquer.”
“Yes. We’ve really made progress.”
“The old cabinets are in the basement and I fixed those bad spots on the walls,” he said. “I’ll just say goodbye to Izzy, then head home to Wichita.”
“All right.”
Ethan was more tired than he’d realized. The constant motions had kept his muscles fluid. Now they were stiff. And he was famished. He hadn’t stopped for dinner, had he?
He should go. He could go hit an east-Wichita drive-through for a sandwich, and get home by nine. If he caught River’s Bend’s last set, he could buy LeeAnn a drink afterward. Although he’d talked to her this morning, had even treated her to breakfast at the Beacon, he knew she’d been jealous of the time he spent here in Augusta. He felt awful about it.
But at the moment the drive to Wich
ita appeared endless. A hamburger on the run didn’t sound good, either. As far as Ethan knew, Callie’s sisters hadn’t eaten since he’d arrived early this afternoon.
“We never stopped for dinner,” he said, causing Josie to chuckle again. “Aren’t you hungry?”
“Sure.” Josie maneuvered her legs around to sit cross-legged, then relaxed against the doorsill and looked up at him. “Callie was planning to bring something by, but she called a while ago and said Luke was fussing a lot. She decided to keep him at my apartment.”
At the mention of Callie, Ethan felt a different kind of hunger. Foolish as it was, he’d missed seeing her today. Maybe he’d go by Josie’s apartment to say hello, and also check on the little boy. “Is Luke okay?” he asked.
“Oh, sure. He’s just teething. Callie would have given him a pain reliever, so he’s probably asleep.” Josie leaned forward and began to paint again.
He shouldn’t go by. He might wake the baby. He should do the right thing, and spend time with LeeAnn.
“I noticed the pizza place is open for business again,” he said. “Aren’t you a mushroom fanatic?”
“Oh, my God! A thin pizza with mushrooms and green peppers sounds heavenly about now,” Josie said, her eyes alight.
He chuckled. “The one in my heaven has Italian sausage, onions and a thick crust.”
She gasped. Apparently, she wasn’t picky about toppings.
“I could have a couple delivered,” he offered, liking the idea more every second he thought about it.
Josie dipped her brush into the paint, slapped it against the rim of the can and painted gold over the last strip of primed wallboard.
He waited for her to tell him it was a bad idea. That she was too busy and that he should go home to order a pizza. Instead, she dropped the paintbrush and leaped up with a nimbleness that reminded him of their seven-year age difference. “I’m game,” she said. “Let’s go see what Izzy thinks.”
They found Isabel in the kitchen, sweeping the floor where the cabinets used to be. From the back, she resembled Ella, but when she circled around to peer at Ethan and Josie, her expression was much more welcoming.