‘Then it is possible that someone put the hemlock into the ale while the room was empty, knowing I had not yet broken my fast.’
She clung to his hand. ‘Oh, Nathan, I do not like to think of someone here in this house, wishing you harm.’
‘No more do I.’ He smiled slightly. ‘But despite everything, we must eat, you know. I shall call Mercer. He will have everything cleared away from here and bring us a fresh breakfast in the morning room.’
Felicity could not enjoy her food, despite Mercer’s earnest assurances that he had watched every stage of its preparation. However, she admitted she felt better for having eaten something and was able to await the church party’s return with tolerable equanimity. Their shock and horror when they discovered what had happened was understandable, but Felicity found the repeated questions and conjecture distressing and made her excuses to slip away. As hostess she knew she could not absent herself for very long and after a suitable period she went back to join her guests. The short December day was overcast and the house was very gloomy. In the drawing room everyone was gathered about the hearth, where the light from the blazing fire combined with the candle flames to provide a comforting glow around the little party.
Felicity entered unnoticed and she was still in the shadows when Lady Charlotte said emphatically, ‘Look at the facts, Rosthorne; she had every opportunity to slip something into the ale. And it would not be the first time—was she not in the wood when you came off your horse? And I had not been in the house five minutes before I could see that you and that wife or yours are estranged.’
The little group became aware of Felicity’s presence. All eyes turned to her as she emerged from the shadows, the damning words hanging in the air around them. Felicity looked at Nathan. She prayed for him to defend her, but it was Mrs Carraway who said with a touch of asperity,
‘That is utter nonsense, Charlotte. I would ask you not to repeat such foolishness! Felicity, my dear, pray you come and sit here by me. You must not take any notice; we are all a little upset. Nathan has asked Mercer to gather all the staff together in the servants’ hall and he will speak to them all, but I cannot think that any of our regular people would do such a thing. They have worked here for generations and have nothing to gain from such a trick.’
‘What about the stable hands?’ asked Gerald, pouring a glass of wine for Felicity.
Nathan shook his head. ‘I questioned them when I took Bella down to the yard.’
‘I trust you did not trouble Harris with your questions,’ put in Lady Charlotte. ‘You know that he is very simple, and as like to tell you a lie if he thinks it is what you wish to hear.’
‘No, ma’am, I did not question him. He came forward immediately to help Patrick look after Bella. He was overwrought when he saw her; I do not see him harming anyone.’
Felicity hardly heard them. She was still staring at Nathan, wanting some sign of reassurance, but he avoided her eyes. Surely he could not think that she had tried to poison him?
‘If you will excuse me,’ said Nathan, rising, ‘I will go and talk to the servants now.’
‘And I think we would all do well to rest before dinner,’ said Mrs Carraway. ‘Felicity, would you give me your arm, please?
‘My sister-in-law grows ever more eccentric,’ she murmured as Felicity accompanied her along the darkened corridors to her apartment. ‘We do not heed her, I promise you.’
‘But it is true, ma’am, that I was alone in the breakfast room for some time before Nathan joined me.’
‘And he told us you warned him not to drink the ale. Nathan has had a trying day, my dear, but he would be a fool indeed if he did not know that you would never do such a thing.’
Felicity took some comfort from Mama Carraway’s words, but the memory of Nathan’s cool, unsmiling look would not go away.
Once she had settled Mrs Carraway in her room Felicity made her way back towards her own bedchamber. She ran up the back stairs and along the corridor that looked down on the stable yard. The short winter’s day had already ended and in the corridor the feeble light of the candles in their wall brackets was enhanced by the glow from the braziers burning in the yard below. Felicity glanced out of the windows as she passed. Harris was coming out of one of the stalls and she heard someone hail him. Gerald Appleby crossed the yard and put his arm about the groom’s shoulders, engaging him in earnest conversation. Felicity watched them for a long moment, a slight frown between her brows, then she turned and made her way slowly to her room.
When Felicity came downstairs nearly an hour later she found there was an unusual amount of activity in the hall. Footmen were carrying a number of corded trunks out of the door. Gerald Appleby was standing to one side, talking with Nathan, but when he saw Felicity he came across to her, a rueful smile on his lips.
‘My dear Lady Rosthorne, what can I say? How can I apologise? I was just telling Nathan that Mama is rather overcome by the events here and wishes to return to Appleby Manor.’ He lifted his hand. ‘No, no, ma’am, I know you would protest that the Christmas dinner is almost on the table, and that it is very dark, but I am afraid Mama is adamant that she wishes to leave immediately, so we do our best to accommodate her.’
Felicity, who had not intended saying anything at all, merely nodded and walked across the hall to stand beside Nathan as Lady Charlotte came down the stairs, leaning on her dresser’s arm.
‘I have never been in favour of allowing animals to roam loose in the house, and look what comes of it.’ Lady Charlotte’s clear, uncompromising tones preceded her.
Felicity stiffened indignantly. She looked up at Nathan, but there was no reading anything from his impassive countenance.
‘Well, we must hope the little dog makes a full recovery and no harm done,’ put in Gerald, stepping forward. ‘Come, Mama, let me escort you to your carriage.’
‘My compliments to your mother, Rosthorne,’ announced Lady Charlotte as she walked slowly towards the door. ‘She will be sorry I am cutting short my visit.’
‘I have already explained everything to Lord and Lady Rosthorne, Mama.’ Gerald flashed a quick, apologetic smile towards them. ‘And I have sent Harris on ahead to Appleby Manor so I hope that when we arrive everything will be in readiness for you. It is a clear sky, and the moon is already rising, so I think we shall make good time.’
Nathan and Felicity walked to the door and watched as Gerald ushered his mother into the coach. Lady Charlotte’s dresser climbed in and while the two ladies made themselves comfortable Gerald ran quickly back up the steps.
‘Goodbye, Nathan.’ He held out his hand. ‘I do hope Bella recovers; I dare say you will be glad to have us out of the way at this time.’ He gripped Nathan’s hand, gave a quick nod to Felicity and ran back down the steps to the coach.
Nathan watched the carriage drive away, but his thoughts were elsewhere, going over and over the events of the day. After questioning the servants he could not bring himself to believe that any one of them had put the hemlock into the jug, but if that was so, then he had to face an even more unwelcome thought. Beside him Felicity shivered and pulled her shawl a little closer about her. Nathan put his hand under her elbow.
‘There is a chill wind blowing. We should go in. There is a good fire in the drawing room, and Mama will join you soon.’
‘You are not coming in?’
He looked away, not wanting her to guess at the turmoil in his mind. ‘Not yet. I have some work to complete in my study.’
‘Then I shall come with you, for I need to speak with you, alone.’
‘As you wish.’
His heart sank. At any other time he would have welcomed her confidences, but now he needed to be alone, to think through the events of the day. He ushered her into his study and closed the door. Candles were already burning around the room and after the chill of the night air the blazing fire was a welcome sight.
‘You were working here, perhaps, when you heard that Lady Charlotte and Mr Appleby w
ere leaving?’
‘I was.’
‘Their departure is very sudden.’
‘Yes, it was a surprise to me. I would have sent for you to bid them adieu but Gerald begged me not to disturb you.’
Nathan sat down and idly shifted the papers on the desk while Felicity paced the room.
‘Nathan.’ She stopped in front of his desk. ‘I think your cousin knows something of this attempt to poison you.’ Her words were rushed rather than considered.
‘And why should that be?’
His voice was harsher than he had intended and she hesitated before continuing. ‘I saw him talking with his mother’s groom.’
‘When was this?’
‘After I had taken Mama Carraway to her room. I was on my way to my own chamber and saw them in the stable yard. It did not look as if Mr Appleby was giving Harris any ordinary instructions,’ she added quickly, ‘I thought they looked more…secretive.’
‘It is most likely that he was giving him his orders to quit Rosthorne.’
‘I do not think so.’ She shook her head. ‘The groom was looking very frightened.’
‘Harris is simple. You heard Lady Charlotte say so.’
‘Yes, but he could have fetched the hemlock from the stable if Mr Appleby asked him.’ He watched her as she considered this. ‘You sent word that you would be late,’ she said slowly. ‘Gerald could have returned to the breakfast room when it was empty and put the poison into the ale. Nathan, he must be involved.’
‘No, you are mistaken.’
‘How can you be so sure?’
‘Never mind that for now—’
‘Never mind!’ she exclaimed, an angry flush on her cheeks. ‘You would prefer to think that I poisoned you!’
‘Of course not!’
‘Then tell me what you suspect.’
‘At this moment I would rather not—’
‘No, of course,’ she said bitterly. ‘It is easier to think ill of me than of your own family!’
‘Now you are being foolish!’
‘Am I? Would you not be pleased to have some excuse to be rid of me?’
Nathan’s brows snapped together. ‘Now what the devil are you talking about?’
‘I know you would like to put Serena Ansell in my place.’
‘What?’
Felicity dashed a hand across her eyes. ‘She is the wife you really want, is she not? I saw you, at the assembly—embracing!’
‘That was not what you saw! Felicity, listen—’
She put up her hand. ‘You need not deny that you love her, she told me of it herself.’
Nathan stared at her, frowning. He forced himself to speak quietly. ‘And just when did she tell you that?’
Felicity sank down on to a chair and pressed her fingers to her temples. ‘In Corunna, just after you had left town. She came to tell me that you were in love with her.’
‘And you believed it?’
Felicity threw up her head. ‘Why not, when she had your letter and your ring to prove it?’
‘Impossible.’
‘How can you deny it?’
‘I do deny it.’ He sat back, arms folded. ‘And this was your reason for leaving me? Upon the word of a woman with the morals of an alley cat?’
‘She had proof!’
‘Preposterous. I have never written to her.’ Her look of disbelief angered him. ‘Damnation, Felicity, after five years, how am I supposed to convince you?’
She turned away. ‘There is no need,’ she said dully. ‘You said yourself the past is over.’
With a smothered oath he jumped up from his chair and reached out, grabbing her wrist.
‘Well, I was wrong! There is very clearly a need to talk about the past! We must clear this up now, Fee, or every time we have a disagreement it will be there, between us.’
She glared at him, her grey eyes positively smouldering. There was no shuttered look in them now.
‘Sit down, Fee. It is time we were done with any secrets.’
He gently pushed her down into a chair and took another for himself, turning it to face her, so that when he sat down their knees were almost touching.
‘Very well, Fee, let me tell you the truth now. Serena did kiss me at the assembly, but if you had stayed another minute you would have seen me push her away. The woman delights in making trouble. When we were in Corunna she liked to think that every man would fall at her feet. I never did, but I do not think she understood that. I can believe she told you some fairy tale to drive you away from me.’ He rubbed his temple, his fingers coming to rest on the ridge of his scar. ‘Perhaps I should have warned you about her, but she was Adam’s mistress; foolishly I thought that was enough for her. As for writing to her—no, I never did that.’
Felicity stared down at her hands clasped tightly in her lap. Perhaps she had been foolish; she had not wanted to believe Serena, but…
‘She had your ring, Nathan. The band engraved with thorns, I could not mistake it.’
She risked a glance at his face. She knew him well enough now to realise that although his eyes rested on her, his thoughts were far away.
‘I gave that ring to Adam Elliston,’ he said at last.
‘To Adam? But why did you not tell me so, when I asked you about your ring?’
He rubbed his chin. ‘I find it…very hard to talk about Adam. When he died it was like losing part of my soul. We were neither of us rich, but when we arrived in Corunna he spent all his money on Serena, every last groat. It is possible, I suppose, that he loaned her the ring. After all he was quite besotted with the woman. But he had it later, I know, for I saw it. He wanted to give it back to me, but I told him to keep it, for good luck…’ He dragged himself back to the present and looked at her. ‘If only you had stayed, Fee, we could have put this to rights in a few minutes.’
She did not answer. If only she had stayed.
‘I understand why you wanted to get away from me,’ Nathan said. ‘I realise you must have been hurt and angry, but later, when you had time to think, why did you not contact me? Why hide yourself away for so long?’
He leaned forward, his eyes fixed upon her. ‘Well, Fee?’
Silence stretched between them. Felicity stared at the floor, her arms wrapped across her stomach.
‘When I arrived in Portsmouth I was still intent on disappearing, but I had been violently ill during the sea voyage and could do no more than find myself safe lodgings, calling myself Mrs Brown, the name I had used on board ship. Then, I realised my condition. I was carrying your child.’ She began to rock herself on the chair. ‘I wish I could explain to you that first, joyous realisation: suddenly anything seemed possible. I decided I should move closer to London, where I would be within reach of the best doctors. I reasoned you could not object to me spending your money to protect the baby.
‘My landlady had a sister in Camberwell with a lodging house and she recommended me to her.’ Felicity stopped rocking and glanced up at him. ‘Since she knew me as Mrs Brown I did not like to confess the truth, lest she thought me not respectable enough for her house, but I thought that once the baby was born I would write to you and try to effect a reconciliation.’ She shivered. ‘Then the sickness returned. I gave money to my landlady to engage a good doctor. Unfortunately, not all his skill or the careful nursing of my landlady proved effective. The baby—a little boy—was born three months early and died within a few hours. I did not even hold him.’
Felicity blinked hard, and stared at the Turkey rug beneath her feet. She would finish this now.
‘It was then that I regretted being introduced into such an honest household; all I wanted then was to sink into oblivion. It would have been so easy for the landlady to let me die and keep my money for herself. Instead she paid the doctor to visit me regularly and undertook to nurse me back to health. Gradually, I recovered my strength and from somewhere came the will to live again.
‘I saw a notice in the London papers, announcing my friend Lydia�
�s marriage to Sir James Souden. I decided to write to her and ask for her help.’
‘Why did you not write to me?’
She gave the slightest shake of her head. ‘I buried all hopes of resuming my life with you when I buried my baby. I thought it was a punishment. Y-you see, when my uncle had died, I felt no grief, no remorse, only relief that I was free of him. Then, when you rescued me in Corunna, it seemed too good to be true, such happiness could not come without a price.
‘It was at this time that I read your notice, seeking information about me. Of course no one in Camberwell knew who I was, so I was able to ignore it. I saw one or two more notices, but then they stopped and I learned that the Guards had returned to the Peninsula.’ She lifted her head to look at him, her eyes swimming with tears. ‘I lost the baby, Nathan. Our baby. How could I expect you to forgive that, since I could not forgive myself?’
Nathan put a hand up to his eyes. So many thoughts battered him; he grew cold at the thought of her being so alone. Now he could understand why she had been so determined to stay with Lydia this summer.
Felicity gave a little sob. ‘I beg your pardon—pray tell your mama that I, too, am overset by the events of today and I will not dine with you!’
She was at the door before Nathan could collect his scattered thoughts.
‘Fee, wait!’
By the time he reached the study door she had disappeared. His mother was standing in the hall, staring into the darkness of the upper landing and without a word he dashed past her and up the stairs.
Five minutes later he came back down to find Mrs Carraway waiting for him.
‘Felicity was crying,’ she said. ‘Have you quarrelled?’
‘No, Mama, not exactly, but she is upset.’
‘Then should you not go to her?’
‘I tried, but she has locked her door. She does not want to talk to me.’ Nathan’s chin went up. ‘I am not such a monster that I would force myself upon her.’
His hand was gripping the carved handrail and she covered it with her own.
The Earl's Runaway Bride Page 21