Joshua tried to hide the smile he knew she wouldn’t appreciate, but it was hard.
“True,” he said, “but I met Ada just last week. So to me, she’s close to my age.”
This earned him a full-on eye roll and an exasperated sigh. “So now she’s like a hundred because you met her last week. That makes a lot of sense, Joshua. Thanks for clearing everything up. I feel so much better now.”
“I meant she’s eighteen to my nineteen. No matter how many years I’m alive, I’ll always be nineteen.”
“But I thought you were really old,” Angel bit back. “You can’t have it both ways.”
“Actually, I can. I do.” He’d never tried to explain it before. It made sense in his head, but once he started trying to put it in words, it became absolute rubbish. “It’s like when you look at a picture in a magazine. You’re looking at this model, right? And she’s got this amazing, blemish-free skin, and there are no scars or bulges on her body. Her stomach is flat and smooth, and her legs go on for miles. You’re looking at it, and you think, ‘Okay, this is what this chick looks like. She’s literally flawless.’ But that’s just your perceived reality. It’s real to you because it’s what you see, but in actuality she’s been Photoshopped from here to Mars. They buffed out a zit, smoothed out some belly rolls, and added an extra two inches to her legs.
“That is how time works for me. There is real time with all those years adding up one on top of the other, and then there is my perceived time. And just like you looking at the Photoshopped model, even though I know the truth, it’s the perceived reality of time my brain actually processes and believes.”
Her eyes were still red and glowing, but the tears had stopped. “Your perceived time? What does that look like?”
“Like a picture,” he said. “Just like a picture captures a single moment and preserves it forever, my brain snaps onto something and keeps it at one point in time forever.” He wasn’t making sense, so he tried again. “In my head, I will always be nineteen. No matter how many hundreds of years I might be forced to live, I’ll still be nineteen. But it’s not just my age that works that way for me. I think of your parents as adults because they were in their forties when I met them. To me, they’ll always be in their forties, even when they’ve lost all their hair and teeth and can’t remember when or where they took off their pants. Same goes for Jase and Scout. No matter how old and boring they get, they’ll always be teenagers to me.”
Angel scrunched up her eyebrows. “But I was only eight when you met me.”
“Exactly, munchkin.” He ran his hand over the top of her head to mess up her hair. She shot him a death glare, and this time he didn’t even try to hide his smile. “And eight you will always be to me. One day you’ll be all grown up with a husband and kids of your own, and you’ll still be my munchkin.”
“I’m never getting married and having kids,” she said, turning her head so he couldn’t see her face.
“Of course you will.”
“No,” she said, “I won’t. I’m never falling in love again. It hurts too much.”
After Joshua first became an Immortal he went through months and months of intense training. During one of the sessions, Benjamin stabbed Joshua through the heart with his own sword to prove a point or four. That wound hurt a hell of a lot less than the one Angel just ripped into his chest.
He wanted to tell her it didn’t always hurt, but he didn’t like lying to her. If there was one thing his long life had taught him, it was love always hurts. There was a time when he shared Angel’s it’s-not-worth-it sentiment, but then he met Jase and Talley. Not long after that he watched as Scout and Liam, and later Charlie and Maggie, figure out how to navigate love’s pothole-riddled road. It was hard to be a romantic pessimist when surrounded by people hopelessly devoted to each other.
“Someday, Angela Sophia Donovan, you’re going to meet someone amazing. He’s going to be strong and kind and funny and he’s going to love you with his whole heart. But he’s still going to make you cry, because love is just too big and too extraordinary to fit in a small, comfortable place in our hearts. It has to run all through you and rip out some of the old pieces to make room.” Joshua placed his arm around her shoulders again, and this time she let him. She was limp but compliant as he pulled her against his side and kissed the top of her head. “And when you finally decide he’s worth it, and you give him your whole and reformed heart, I’m going to come along with my big, shiny sword and threaten to cut him into a million little pieces if he so much as thinks about bruising your beautiful gift.”
“Why do you care?” Angel asked, wiping her nose on the edge of his shirt sleeve.
“Because despite the way you’ve mistaken my vintage t-shirt for a Kleenex, I love you, munchkin.” Her eyes were filled with confusion and hope. “You’re like the pesky little sister I never knew I wanted,” he clarified, and then wished he hadn’t.
“I. Don’t. Want. To. Be. Your. Sister,” she said, punctuating every word with a fist to his sternum.
“Yeah, well, you don’t want to be Jase’s sister either, but it’s the luck of the draw. You don’t get to choose family.”
“You’re not my family.”
“Of course I am,” he said pulling her even tighter against him. “I have to be, because you guys are the only family I have.”
Chapter 15
Joshua had learned to accept who and what he was a long time ago. There wasn’t room in his life for petty things like jealousy or envy, but sometimes, in extreme circumstances, he found himself wishing he was more like the Shifters. At that particular moment, he longed to possess their ability to quickly locate prey. He’d been all over the Serenity Shores resort, and thanks to one phone forgotten on the kitchen table and another whose battery had died exactly thirty-seven minutes ago, he couldn’t find Scout or Talley anywhere. He was about to text Liam (who Joshua knew was on the other side of the county since the Alpha Male had the sense to keep his GPS-enabled phone charged and in his pocket) when he opened the door to the banquet hall.
“I’m not wearing it,” Scout’s voice bounced off the concrete walls of the coat room. “I already have a dress.”
“A dress you bought from a discount site online.” Talley was standing in front of the Alpha, her hands perched on the swell of her hips. Her eyes were narrowed and lips thinned into a line of annoyance Joshua rarely saw from the warm-natured Seer. “The top part is so small your boobs are either going burst the seam or get cut in half, and three or four people could climb into the waist with you. And don’t even get me started on the way it stops two inches above your ankle.”
Two dresses hung on the rack behind them. Even with his very limited knowledge of women’s fashion, Joshua knew which one Talley was talking about. It looked like something Angel might have produced years ago when she first started designing and sewing clothes for her Barbies. The hem was obviously uneven and half the beads decorating the bodice were hanging on broken threads.
“It has character,” Scout said.
“It has a stain on the hip,” Talley shot back.
“Mrs. Matthews really outdid herself on this one.” Neither girl startled at his abrupt entrance, which meant they’d both known he was there and had been too wrapped up in their argument to care. “This is a real work of art,” he said, skimming a finger down the tiny pearls crisscrossing the fitted bodice. “Interesting choice in color.”
There was no doubt the dove gray would suit both Scout’s unique monochromatic coloring and I-am-Alpha-hear-me-howl personality. Talley’s mother could See colors and patterns, allowing her to make clothes that defied description. The skill had made her into one of the most sought-after consume designers in the world. It was impossible to watch a winter Olympics without seeing her creations displayed by ice princesses from across the globe. Most people would have killed to have a wedding dress made by Mrs. Matthews, but Scout was not most people.
Scout’s eyes narrowed on the dress as if
it was shouting insults at her instead of innocuously sitting on the rack. “I will not wear a dress made by that woman.”
“That woman is my mother,” Talley reminded her not-so-gently.
“And she turned me over to Sarvarna,” was Scout’s equally ungentle response.
As always happened when this conversation came up, which was thankfully not often, Talley’s face took on a decidedly red color. “That was five years ago.”
“Five years? Is that the going timeframe to forgive someone for trying to have you killed?”
Talley’s coloring went from red to violet. “She thought she was doing the right thing.”
Scout snorted, and Joshua could see this conversation was going nowhere good, fast. Usually Liam or Jase were around to calm these choppy waters, but since both of them were meeting with the contractors who would rebuild the Donovans’ home, it left the somewhat inept Joshua to save the two girls from tearing their friendship apart over a past neither of them caused or could change.
“Sorry to interrupt what is obviously a very important Say Yes to the Dress moment here,” he said, not sorry at all, “but I have Pack business to discuss.” He stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels, waiting for his words to sink in. Once both girls were fully focused on him, he continued. “I need to trade assignments with Talley.”
Talley cocked an eyebrow to mimic one of Jase’s preferred facial expressions. “My assignment is to get Scout ready for Saturday night. It includes talking her into going to a salon and taking her bra shopping.”
“Sounds like fun,” Joshua said even though the exact opposite was true.
Scout’s shoulders drooped, the fight finally gone out of her. “What has Angel done this time?” she asked, hopping up into the window where partygoers passed their coats to an attendant on the rare occasion someone actually had a formal function in Lake County during the winter.
Joshua shuffled his feet. “She’s in love with me,” he said, realizing a little too late this conversation was almost as awkward as the one he had in the treehouse.
Instead of going into a diatribe about how he wasn’t good enough for her sister or lamenting that a twelve-year-old didn’t know what love was, Scout just waited for him to continue.
“You knew,” he guessed.
“Only because I have eyes and can make logical conclusions.”
“I thought you knew,” Talley added.
“If I had known I would’ve made sure she didn’t see me kissing someone else,” he said, annoyance sharpening his tone. “If I had known, I might have been able to let her down gently instead of ripping out her heart and stomping it into the dirt like some careless jerk.”
Talley muttered a “bless her,” but Scout’s attention was caught by something other than her poor little sister’s feelings. “You’re already hooking up with Ada? That escalated quickly.”
His annoyance level jacked up two notches.
“What do you know about Ada?” he finally demanded after deliberately leaving the subject alone for days now. “What have your Seers Seen?”
Talley gave Scout a slight shake of her head.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Joshua wanted to argue the point, but he’d learned quickly there was no changing Scout’s mind when she was convinced she was doing the right thing. She could, however, be persuaded to give up on one argument if it meant protecting something she thought was important.
“Take me off of Angel duty,” Joshua demanded in type of verbal Hail Mary. “She needs someone who is kind and caring right now. She needs Talley.”
Scout slung herself around to where her feet were now braced on the opposite side of the window frame, her long legs stretched across the counter. “She needs to know you’re not terrified of an adolescent girl’s feelings and that you’ll always be around to protect her, no matter what.” She leaned back against the window frame, crossed her arms under her breasts, and closed her eyes. “You’re staying with the munchkin, and Talley gets to keep putting up with my crap.” He started to argue, but Scout said, “End of discussion.” She opened one eye to make sure he was listening. “Trust me on this. I’m doing it for your own good.”
For the first time since Kennedy was president, Joshua felt a fiery well of rage growing in his stomach. How dare she? He had been fighting against the corruption tainting the Shifters and Seers of the world for decades before she was even born. How dare she make decisions about what information he could know and what was best for him? He was an Immortal. He answered to no one.
Expect, that wasn’t entirely true. He answered to the Alpha Male and Female, and had ever since he took the vow to become a member of the Alpha Pack. And even though she was just as screwed up and overly self-confident as any other twenty-something running around thinking they could take on the world, she’d put an end to the abuse of power that had plagued the Alpha Pack for centuries and established herself as the new Alpha Female before she turned nineteen. She’d earned his respect, so he would do what she wanted, but first…
He walked over the dress she’d purchased and grabbed the collar in both his hands. One good jerk and the material parted, sending cheap plastic beads raining down onto the industrial tiled floor.
“Trust me on this,” he said, throwing the ruined dress toward the trashcan. “I’m doing it for your own good.”
He heard a growl and caught a flash of something out of the corner of his eye. It was the only warning he had before getting slammed to the ground.
Chapter 16
Joshua’s head smacked against the floor so hard he saw brightly colored flashes of light behind eyelids squeezed shut in pain. He barely got his brain unscrambled in time to stop the fist flying through the air from connecting with his face. He batted it away with his forearm at the same time he rolled his body in an attempt to pin Scout beneath him, but she kept the momentum going, rolling onto her feet as he once again found himself on his back.
“That was my wedding dress,” she hissed, her fist raised as she waited for him to get to his feet, a sign that she was serious about fighting this out. Violent outbursts weren’t unheard of in the Alpha Pack - they were a bunch of wolves and coyotes after all - but usually once someone dropped it was over. But Scout was dealing with a lot of built up frustrations and annoyances surrounding her upcoming nuptials and was looking to blow off some steam, and Joshua was happy to assist her. He had his own frustrations and annoyances to work out.
Joshua took his time pulling himself up. If he was another Shifter he would do a fancy jump, backflip, or something equally ridiculous to get his feet under him again, but Joshua didn’t feel the need to show off.
Plus he really had no idea how they did that sort of thing. He figured it had something to do with their animal halves and overdeveloped muscles. He’d tried it a couple of times when he was working out alone, quickly giving up when he realized he was in danger of breaking his back. He really didn’t want to have to explain that injury to his friends.
Scout waited patiently as he stood, loosened his muscles, and got into position, but as soon as he was ready, she launched herself at him again. This time, he was prepared for the impact. He couldn’t completely avoid the fist flying through the air, but he managed to catch it in his shoulder instead of his nose. She’d hit him hard enough there was a chance a bone had cracked. Eventually, he would have to acknowledge the pain, but as long as he was in motion, attacking and counter-attacking, it didn’t exist.
She came at him again, and this time he managed to grab onto her arm. Using the momentum from her punch, he spun and tossed her through the glassless window and into the foyer of the banquet hall. The moment he jumped through the same opening, he sent his own fist on a collision course. It hit its mark on Scout’s stomach. The Alpha Female instinctively doubled over, and Joshua used the opportunity to plant an elbow in the back of her neck. As she bent further over, he thought he’d gotten the better of her, but then tw
o hands wrapped around his ankle and gave a swift jerk. He was on his back again before he could even process what was happening.
“Up,” Scout commanded, and he surged to his feet once again, his fist already up and ready for another round.
“Guys, maybe you should—” But before Talley could finish they were already moving. Scout would jab, and he would block it. Joshua would swing, and Scout would move out of the way before his fist could connect. It became a dance, a flurry of movement, neither finding an opening in the other’s defense. Joshua had no idea how long they went on like that, but sweat was running down his neck, plastering his hair to his scalp when he became aware of someone turning the handle on the door.
While beating the crap out of Scout was generally seen as a fun activity within the Alpha Pack, slamming the Alpha Female into a wall wasn’t really considered acceptable by most Shifters. As the door started to swing open, Joshua allowed himself to take the hit. Unaware of what was happening, Scout hadn’t bothered pulling the punch. Her fist connected with his stomach hard enough to send him literally flying backwards. He landed against something hard and warm. Two hands grabbed ahold of his shoulders to keep him from sliding to the ground.
“Joshua,” Charlie Hagan said as he steadied his friend and fellow Stratego. “How are you doing, man?”
Joshua took an experimental deep breath. “Scout broke my rib,” he said, thinking it was probably more like two or three ribs, but it wasn’t a big deal. They would heal. Bones and flesh were much more resilient than hearts.
“You broke my dress,” Scout reminded him. “Now we’re even.”
A tiny little slip of a girl slid around Charlie and gave Joshua a quick kiss on the cheek before walking through the open door of the coat closet and gravitating to the dress Mrs. Matthews had made. “Oh Scout,” Maggie McCray said, fingering the beaded cap sleeves, “this is the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s art.” She turned an accusing eye to Joshua. “Whatever you did to harm this dress deserves a broken rib. You should be ashamed.”
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