How was it even possible she was looking at me that way? Grief striking her cheeks and sympathy in the warmth of those eyes?
“Did you ever tell Ollie? Does he know you loved her?” she almost begged.
My head shook. “He’d kill me, Rynna. He’d fucking kill me. I just let her walk away. She’s gone because of me. I was responsible, Rynna.”
“No.”
“There’s no lie you could tell me, no lie I could tell myself, that would convince me otherwise. I know it, Rynna. I know if I hadn’t have done what I did, she would still be here.”
It sliced through us. A double-edged sword. Piercing through the atmosphere.
My gaze traveled out into the night, to the duskiness that held to the sky, trees gusting in the wind.
Swore I heard Sydney’s spirit howling back.
“You’d think what happened would have driven the three of us apart. But it tied us together some way. Ollie’s been . . .” I gulped around the barbs spiked in my throat. “He was a goddamned mess, Rynna. Blaming himself for that night when the blame has always been on me, and I’m the bastard who can’t bring myself to tell him. He tries to pretend he’s okay, but he’s not. None of us are.”
Tenderly, Rynna touched my chin. Her lips trembled and her tears wouldn’t stop falling.
I almost managed a grin. “Kale is like a rock. Think he’s the one who held Ollie and me together when we were falling apart.”
“Does he know?”
I gave a regretful nod. “Yeah. He called it the second things started up with Sydney and me. Think the asshole manages to see everything before it even goes down.”
Rynna gave me the softest smile before she laid her cheek on my knee, watching me, holding on to my leg like she could keep me from splitting apart. The girl my strength when that was all I’d ever wanted to be.
“Tell me how you met Frankie’s mom,” she whispered, encouraging me to go on.
“Was lost for a lot of years, Rynna. Fucking lost. But the wilderness gets lonely, you know? So, I fucked around. And that was messed up, too, because any time I touched another girl, when I closed my eyes, only thing I saw was Sydney’s face.”
Rynna flinched, but I continued, unable to stop the train wreck from tumbling from my mouth. “Then Frankie’s mom . . .”
Rynna’s spine went rigid.
“It was just the same as always. Met her at a bar on the other side of town. Went back to her place. Whole time, that same guilt ate me up because the only thing I could think was I wished she was Sydney. Then one day, she showed up at my house, telling me she was pregnant.”
My voice dropped low, and my mouth angled at Rynna like I were offering her a dirty secret. “I freaked out. Accused her of lying. Claimed it wasn’t mine . . . because fuck, I couldn’t have a kid. Not with her.”
Rynna tried to subdue a sob. But it tore free. A partner to the ripping wind. “She’d told me fine. She’d get rid of it. No problem. She took off down my driveway. Next thing I know, I was chasing her, pleading with her to come back, promising her we’d figure it out. She told me the only way she was going to keep it was if I married her.”
The words deepened like a plea. “My mom always taught me to do the right thing, Rynna. So, I did. I married her. I didn’t even know her, didn’t even like her, and I fucking married her.”
“Rex,” she whispered.
My gaze turned to where she was still on her knees, staring up at me. Emotion throbbed all around. Circling us. Drawing us in.
My body shook, every part of me overcome. Overwhelmed. “And then . . . I’m holding this baby girl in my arms . . .” I held out my hands, palms up, like somehow Rynna might get it. Like she could see me holding Frankie Leigh for the very first time. Like she could experience what that felt like. “And suddenly, it’s not just the right thing. It’s the very best thing.”
More tears streaked from the warm well of those shimmering eyes.
My voice was gravel. “Never thought I could love like that. Not after Sydney. And I thought I’d gotten lucky. That maybe I’d been given another chance. So, I let myself love them both. Let them become the center of my world, just like they should be. I had my dog, Missy, and my girls, and we got this house and everything was fucking perfect.”
I blinked around the confusion. Around my mistakes. “Don’t even know where I went wrong. Working too long. Too many hours. Thinking I was doing what was right for them. And Frankie’s mom . . . she was suffering, and I didn’t even know it. I came home just as the sun was going down one night—”
I was numb as I stood by the side of the road, staring blankly as the taillights disappeared in the distance. I tried to blink through the squiggle of red, neon lines that lit up against my bleary vision. It was like looking at the sun and then closing your eyes. Or maybe I just wished they were closed. But they were open wide, my gaze sucked down.
Down.
Down.
Missy dead at my feet.
The words wouldn’t even form on my tongue, wounds ripped open wide. Gaping and bleeding. Garbling the confession because I just didn’t know what the fuck I’d done wrong.
Just didn’t understand.
Still didn’t.
And her hands. Rynna’s hands were on my face, and she was leaning on both her knees, wedged between mine, forcing me to meet her eyes. “She abandoned you and Frankie. That’s not your fault.”
“It doesn’t matter, Rynna. I still lost her. Every girl I’ve ever loved has left me. After Sydney disappearing? Anytime something happens to Frankie . . .” I fisted my hand, pressed it against the raging of my heart. “I’m terrified, Rynna. Terrified of her slipping away, too. Terrified of something horrible happening to her. If I lost her . . . fuck . . . I can’t. I won’t. I’ll die first before I let something happen to her. Do you get it now? Why I’m terrified of you? Why I’m terrified of the way you make me feel? This afternoon, I—”
Her words were muted but desperate. “I need you to listen to me. What happened this afternoon with Frankie wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t neglect. She was playing, loving the amazing life you’ve given her. Experiencing it the way she should. Living it to its fullest because that’s what she is. She’s life. She’s joy. She’s rambunctious and curious and perfect, and the last thing you want to do is limit that. You can’t keep her from falling, Rex, but you can be there to pick her up when she does. That’s what matters the most.”
My forehead dropped against hers, and I whispered into the darkness. “After Frankie’s mom left, I waited for her, Rynna. Waited because I thought that was what I was supposed to do.”
Loyalty.
Distorted and confused.
It spun around me like a bad fucking dream.
“Truth is, I didn’t want anyone, anyway. Didn’t want to repeat it. Refused to ever fall into that trap again.”
I gathered that gorgeous face between my hands. “And then there was you. There was beautiful you standing across the street, and every promise I’d made myself suddenly felt like a lie. You make me feel again, Rynna. You make me feel like every chance is one worth taking. Like you’re leading me out of the darkness that’s ruled my life. When I close my eyes, who I see is you. Show me the way, Rynna. Show me the way out of it. Fuck. Please, show me the way.”
She pressed her mouth to mine.
Hard.
“Rynna,” I moaned.
Fucking Rynna.
Little Thief.
29
Rynna
Strong arms wrapped around my waist, and the rocker groaned when Rex pushed to standing, taking me with him. He hiked me up into the strength of his arms, my legs immediately cinching around his narrow waist.
With one arm locked around my waist, he gripped me by the jaw with the other hand, controlling our kiss, ruling my mind where I disappeared into the abyss of this complicated man.
My spirit roared.
A thunder of grief and torrent of love.
I wanted to si
ng it. Sing it for him. For this man who’d lost so much and deserved every good thing the world had to give. Instead, I poured it into him. Into our kiss and into every desperate touch.
He gripped me tighter, wedging open the door, carrying me inside. With his foot, he held the door open, breaking away for the briefest flash when he called, “Milo, come,” his voice gruff.
My tiny puppy scampered past his feet, trotting right over to the bed Rex had set up for him in the corner of the living room, already knowing his place.
Then Rex got right back to kissing me. A hand wound up in my hair and the other locked around my waist.
I ached for him in a way that was only possible when someone’s joy mattered more to you than anything else. When you’d give up yours to see them smile. When you’d sacrifice to make them happy.
When you were so far gone the only thing that mattered was them.
My gramma had told me I’d just know.
That it’d be magic.
And that was what this felt like.
Magic. Magic composed of so many threads. Layers of wounds and grief and tragedy. All of it bound by a seed of hope that had been planted somewhere along the way.
It bloomed.
Bloomed so big and bright that this man was the only thing I could see.
It felt too powerful to be one-sided. Too vast to be warped.
Lives pieced together precariously. Fragilely. A tender, loving, imperfect balance.
He carried me down the hall, only pausing for a moment to look in at Frankie, who was fast asleep. The man smiled up at me when he partially drew her door back shut, his expression so profound as he swept his hand back into my hair, his words a grumbled rasp. A root that had blossomed from that hopeful seed. “Want to do this every night, Rynna. Want to tuck my baby girl in bed then take my other girl to mine.”
He walked us the rest of the way into his room. He kicked the door shut and tossed me onto his bed. I bounced on the mattress, a wave of need capturing me. Chasing away the fears and the questions that had plagued us since we’d met.
Nothing left to stand in our way.
He reached back and clicked the lock before reaching down and peeling his shirt over his head, revealing the overwhelming strength of his chest and the ripple of his abs glowing in the wispy tendrils of moonlight that flooded his room.
I heaved out a breath.
“Every night, Rynna. I want to take you. Fuck you. Love you. Keep you.”
My entire body shook, the impact of his words tearing through me like an earthquake.
I pushed up onto my palms, squirming on his bed. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He flicked the button of his jeans and shoved out of them.
Baring all.
Oh God.
He was magnificent, his cock jutting free, pointing to the sky. Needy for me.
Me.
“Gonna make you a moaning, sweaty mess, Rynna Dayne, then I’m going to do it all over again.”
“I’m yours.”
The air crackled.
Alive.
Fire and heat and flames.
I writhed as I stared up at him.
Muscle and strength and that amazing heart underneath.
He inched forward, making me insane when he reached over from the side of the bed and dragged my shorts and the bathing suit bottom off. He dropped them to the floor, ran his fingers between my thighs. “So fucking sweet.”
“Rex, I need you.”
“You have me, baby. Anytime. Anywhere. Always.”
He climbed onto his knees on the bed, slowly dragging up my tank and setting it free, quick to do the same with my bikini top.
He tossed it over his shoulder, a wicked gleam lighting in his eye. He leaned closer, framing me in with his big body, mouth blowing across my breasts.
Instantly, my nipples budded into tight, pebbled peaks.
My hips jerked. “Rex. Please.”
I needed him more than I’d ever needed him before. I felt closer to him than I ever had. All his exteriors ripped away, shields down. It was just him and me.
I set my palms flat against the hard, defined ridges of his abdomen, and he rubbed his cock against my center.
A slow, sensual tease.
A shiver slipped down my spine. It dove straight into the pool of desire that grew to a boil in my belly.
My hands slid up his smooth skin.
Greedy as they explored. Savoring every inch. “You’re so beautiful, Rex Gunner. Inside and out. Thank you for letting me see it. For trusting me with it. With who you are.”
I let my fingers trace across the tattoo on his arm that so clearly wept.
Finally understanding what it meant. The kind of loss that would go on forever.
He cupped my face in the palm of his hand, something so serious blanketing his expression. “Who I am is yours, Rynna. I’m going to fix the bullshit in my life I should have fixed a long time ago.”
My mouth dropped open to ask him what that meant, but he took it as an opportunity to delve his tongue between my lips in a kiss that seared my soul.
All thoughts evaporated.
“Rynna.” My name was a plea. A prayer. I don’t think either of us could tell the difference anymore.
He wedged deeper between my thighs. His cock so big, trapped between us, begging for release.
Need throbbed, and he suddenly grasped me by the knees, spreading me wide as he edged back onto his. He dove in, licking through my folds.
I moaned, writhed, fisted my hands in his hair. “Rex.”
His only answer was to devour me. Fucking me with his tongue. Long laps and sweet, dizzying sucks.
Pleasure wound. So fast that I restrained a scream. That I writhed and moaned and whimpered his name.
It built to a pinpoint. Ready to burst.
The second before I did, he was over me. One hand planted next to my head as he hooked his other arm under my right knee.
He pinned my leg up high on his arm, pressing our chests together.
I could feel the beat of his heart where it raged against mine.
Wild. Wild and free.
He slowly pressed himself into my body. Never looking away.
Taking.
Owning.
Obliterating.
My mouth dropped open while his jaw clenched.
He began to move. His thrusts slow. Each rock of his hips deliberate. A slow, steady conquering. Winding me right back up.
He teased me with the most exquisite kind of torture. Passion stretched taut. Palpable and alive.
It was too much and too little and I begged him for more.
The physical and emotional that had waited anxiously on opposite sides suddenly charged toward the other.
The two crashed in the middle.
Sublime devastation.
Body and soul.
Tears pricked at my eyes and streaked down my face.
Because I was again overcome.
Overwhelmed by this man. I inhaled and filled my lungs with the magnitude of him.
Lake and earth and the clearest sky.
He moved in me in barely contained thrusts, slow and hard in his claiming command while I spun through the brightest kind of bliss.
Blinding.
Where I basked in this unfathomable beauty.
In that place that had become us.
Real and whole.
His mouth brushed against mine. “You changed everything, Rynna. Where I found an end, you saw a beginning. You saved me. Called me from the shadows. You changed everything the day you walked into my life. You are my heart’s second chance.”
I floated on the ecstasy of that chance.
Elevated.
Tossed into our perfect harmony.
Where I’d fall forever.
Weightless.
Rex clutched me by the shoulders, his rocks turning frenzied as he clutched me against him, as he burrowed his face into my hair, as he whispered my name.
&nbs
p; “Rynna.”
And Rex.
He fell with me.
Exactly where he’d always belonged.
30
Rynna
Peace swam through his room, a dusky quiet broken by the milky moonlight streaming in from the window. I didn’t think there could be anything more perfect than being nestled in the crook of his arm with my head resting on his chest.
Tangled together.
Basking in the afterglow.
He gently brushed his fingers through my hair, and I sighed, so content, and I could only pray this incredible man felt the same. I rolled a fraction so I could place a kiss over the thrum of his heart. “You’re my heart’s second chance, too,” I told him through a murmur.
He shifted me to lay on top of him. Nudging me back, he peered up at me. “How’s that?”
I played with one of the longer locks of his hair. “The entire time I was in San Francisco, I felt as if I was missing something. When I left . . .” I blinked through the memories, searching for what to say, wondering if I should even bring it up.
The past was the past.
But he’d shared his, and I needed him to know mine.
“I won’t pretend what happened to me comes anywhere close to what you went through. To what you and Ollie and Kale lost that day. But I lost a piece of myself when I left. More than one piece,” I admitted in a hurried whisper. “I left behind my dreams and my innocence and my hopes. I left behind my grandmother. My only family.”
The loss of her drummed through me. A woeful ache.
He threaded his fingers through my hair and cupped the side of my head. “You don’t have to minimize what you went through, Rynna. Yeah, what happened with Sydney was brutal. So goddamned brutal. But I know I’m not the only person in this world who’s suffered.”
Rex wavered for a moment, before his words dropped low. “What happened, Rynna? What sent you running?”
Blinking into the distance, I let my thoughts slip back to that time. “There was this girl . . . we were friends.” I shook my head, my voice going even quieter. “But really, we weren’t. I told you before how I never quite fit in. I was always on the outside. Lonely. Looking back now, I see how she took advantage of that. That I was willing to take any abuse if it meant I had friends.”
Tempt Me: A First Class Romance Collection Page 55