“Oh, no. Why should I be scared in Oakville?” I do a fake chuckle. So fake.
“I was just thinking about yesterday and Friday and how everything went down.” He clears his throat. “So much shit was happening from the gala to the ketchup scare to the moving out business. I think we had a massive miscommunication.”
I shift on my bare feet, crossing my arms at my waist. Remi’s eyes flicker down to my breasts, and the way his lips press together makes my panties hot. It’s like he’s thinking about kissing me… And my whole entire body wants that to happen. Yes, please.
“A miscommunication?” I focus my brain.
“I’m sorry for not realizing how that extra money made you feel. In no way did I think of it as any sort of payment for your time… I just wanted to do something nice for you.”
His eyes are pained, and I can tell he’s struggling with getting this right. It melts my heart to see him so sincere.
“Apology accepted.” My voice is quiet, and I give him a little smile.
“Ruby…” He steps forward on that nugget of encouragement. “I came here to ask you… Would you consider going out with me?”
“Like on a date?”
“Yes. Go to dinner with me.”
I rub my forehead, trying to think. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
His expression collapses, and I see something like frustration and anger bubbling beneath the surface. It’s a teensy bit scary and a whole lot sexy.
“Why not?”
“First, don’t shout at me… Second, why do you think I moved out?”
“I didn’t shout.” His jaw is clenched, and he’s a little growly. “I thought you moved out so we could date without people making rude insinuations—because you care what these assholes think, and I don’t.”
Okay.
“I moved out because too many lines were getting crossed. Things were getting muddled, and you have a little girl to consider.”
He exhales deeply and turns, looking out at the street a moment before turning back to me. “So you’re saying you won’t date me while you’re Lillie’s nanny?”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Is that a no? Is that really what you want, Ruby?” The crack in his voice breaks my heart.
“Not really… I just. I think it’s too soon to have this conversation. I think we need to give it some time.” My hand is on my stomach, and I instinctively rub the pain there. “When I started you said you needed to focus on your work. Maybe we both need to take a step back and think about what we really want.”
His arms drop, and he pivots toward the street. “I have to go. I was just out jogging, and I needed to say these things. I wanted to be sure you know how I feel.”
“Who’s watching Lillie?”
“Eleanor’s at the house. I expect she’ll want to leave when I get back.”
Nodding, I swallow the lump in my throat. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Afternoon.” He does a little wave and jogs off into the night.
I stand and watch him go until I can’t see him anymore. Then I slowly close the door and pick up the knife. I’m not in the mood for black beans anymore.
32
Ruby
I pick up Lillie in the car line for the first time ever since I’ve been her nanny. Not because I don’t want to face the Mean Moms—I’m not that big of a wuss—but because I got a text from Drew as I was leaving the house.
Dotty’s neighbor has free puppies. Miniature Schnoodles!
Just reading the word makes my insides feel happy. I can’t resist texting back.
Bless you! Now, Miniature whats?
Her reply is the laugh-crying emoji, and I’m bouncing in my seat waiting for Lillie. I called the school and asked them to send her to the car line, and while I’m waiting, I shoot a quick text to Remi.
Important errand to run. Taking Lillie with me. Exciting day!
Remi texts me back with the okay just as the back door opens and Lillie climbs in with all her things. She looks a little sleepy, and I reach back to hold her hand.
“How are you doing, butter bean? Feeling tired?” She does a little shrug, and I can’t stand it anymore. “Want to go look at some puppies with me?”
That changes everything. “For me?”
“What if…” I turn the car toward Dotty’s house. “What if I get a puppy for you, and it lives at my house?”
She presses her little lips together looking to the side. “Would I get to see it every day?”
“Yes! You could see it every day after school. We can go to my house and play with it, and maybe, if your daddy says it’s okay, we can take it to your house sometimes too.”
“Okay!” She starts bouncing in her seat. “Let’s get a puppy!”
“It gets even better.” We’re pulling into Dotty’s driveway, and I kill the engine, giving her my most excited look. “These puppies are called Miniature Schnoodles!”
Her little mouth drops open. “What?”
“Let’s go see them!”
She jumps out of her booster seat, and I grab her hand. We both take off jogging across the lawn to knock on the door.
It’s pretty much love at first sight when we see the box of three apricot puppies with their curly coats and happy little faces. Lillie tries to hold all three at once. She squeals and sits down, and one starts licking her face while the other grabs her pigtail and plays with it like a chew toy. Finally, she gives up and lays flat on her back as the puppies jump all over her.
Janet stands back grinning with her arms crossed. “You taking all three of them?”
That makes me laugh. “No. We’ll just get one. It’s going to be a hard choice.”
We hang out a little while watching Lillie roll around in puppy heaven until finally, I make the call. “We’ve got to pick one, butter bean. Which do you like the best?”
Her mouth presses into a frown, and I’m afraid she might cry. Janet hops in and saves the day.
“I’ve got a little boy coming by later today. He’s been wanting one of these guys, so you’d better pick the one you like best.”
Lillie’s eyes go round. “Is his name Louie?”
I swallow a laugh, and Janet pretends to think about it. “No… I think his name is Nicholas.”
“That’s good.” She lets out a little exhale and returns to the small reddish dogs.
One has returned to the box and is rooting around in the blankets. Another has gone to the food bowl. Only one stands by her feet as if waiting to see what she’ll do next.
“Him!” Lillie reaches down and picks up the small dog. “We’ll call him Buddy.”
“He might not be a boy…”
Janet scoops the little dog up and checks its bottom. “Buddy it is!” She presents him to me and walks to her kitchen. “I have their vaccination records I can give you.”
“Are you sure you’re giving them away for free? These guys are normally kind of expensive.”
Janet only waves a hand. “Everybody’s got a dog in Oakville. Nobody’s going to buy one.”
I don’t want to argue her out of a deal, so I just agree. “Let’s go, Lillie and Buddy.”
Lillie holds the dog in her arms like a baby, and he puts his puppy head on her shoulder. It’s the most adorable thing I’ve seen since… pretty much ever.
I put her in the booster chair and take a blanket out of my trunk. “Wrap him in this just in case he pees. He’s probably never been in a car before.”
“He won’t pee, will you Buddy?” She’s talking to him in her little sing-song voice, and I make the short drive to my house.
Fortunately, I have a fenced in backyard, and we spend the rest of the afternoon deciding where Buddy should sleep. I decide I’ll have to buy a large kennel until he’s house broken.
“We have to train him to use the bathroom outside.” I’m on my laptop reading all about the breed. “He’s supposed to be a very smart dog, so hopefully it won�
�t take too long.”
“I love him.” Lillie is in the middle of my bed with her new baby, and as I research, both of them curl up together and fall asleep.
I cover them with a thin blanket and walk out to my dining room where I’ve set up an easel. I started a painting on the canvas I bought yesterday. At the moment it’s just line sketches, but I plan to make it my version of Gustav Klimt’s “Mother and Sleeping Child.”
In my version, I want the mother to have distinctively Asian features, and I want the child to have golden curls and sweet green-hazel eyes.
I’m just laying down the eggshell background when I hear a knock on my door. This time I’m not terrified. I’m pretty confident I know who it is. He always liked to watch us playing together as if it gave him back something he’d lost.
I miss having him above us, looking down.
Opening the door, he glances up and gives me that panty-melting smile. “Can I see what all the excitement is about?”
“Of course.” I reach out and clasp his hand. He threads our fingers immediately, and it feels so good. “Be quiet.”
His eyes travel quickly around my small house as I lead him to my bedroom. He pauses a beat to study the painting, but I give him a gentle tug. Finally, he joins me outside my door, and for a minute we both stand watching Lillie lying on her side with Buddy curled up right beside her.
“Oh, man.” Remi’s voice is so warm. “That’s the cutest thing ever.”
“He’s a Miniature Schnoodle. Lillie named him Buddy.”
“A Schnoodle?”
Turning quickly, I launch into the speech. “Don’t worry, he can stay here at my house, and I told Lillie she could come and see him as much as she wants—”
“Hey,” Remi holds up a hand just in front of my lips. “It’s okay. Whatever you want is fine with me.”
Warm hands drop to my waist, and he pulls me closer. “Thank you for being so sweet to her.”
My lips press, and I want to kiss him so bad.
I’m staring at his mouth when he speaks again. “I’d like to kiss you, too, but I’m afraid it might violate your rule… the one where we’re supposed to be thinking about what we want.”
I’m thinking about it… I’m leaning closer when a little voice interrupts our moment.
“Daddy!” Lillie sits up in the bed and we step apart. “Look what Ruby got for me! It’s a puppy! His name is Buddy. He’s a Schnoodle.”
Remi gives me a smile and a light squeeze before going to his daughter. “I think Buddy is amazing. I’ve never heard of a Schnoodle.”
“Isn’t that a funny word for a dog?”
Buddy wakes up and starts hopping all around. “Lillie! He probably needs to pee. Let’s get him outside, quick!”
She jumps up and runs with him to the back door. Remi and I trail behind her, watching as she walks around the small backyard talking to her little companion in the growing twilight.
“It feels right, doesn’t it?”
Remi’s voice is so full of love, it’s like warm liquid in my veins.
I couldn’t agree more.
33
Remi
Lillie spends every afternoon at Ruby’s house now that Buddy is in the picture, and I get daily updates of his house-breaking habits, how my daughter is teaching him to sit, roll over, speak.
According to Lillie, he speaks a lot.
According to Ruby, he’s a smart little dog who’s very good with children.
According to me, this is all fucking amazing.
We’re like a new little family slowly forming.
Far too slowly forming if you ask me. Still, I hold back. I’m giving Ruby the time she needs to think.
Every day when I pick Lillie up before dinner, I can see the progress of Ruby’s painting. She’s added dark navy and maroon poppies around the border. The background is eggshell, with perfectly square brush strokes creating a pattern. The brushwork in the child’s hair is so meticulous and loving, and the strokes down the mother’s back… It’s brilliant.
I’m not an art critic, but Ruby is fucking fantastic.
She’s taking online courses to add art therapy to her skill set, and even though we’re apart, she tells me about it while I wait for Lillie to tell Buddy goodnight when I pick her up.
It takes a half hour for my daughter to be sure her dog (who only lives at Ruby’s house, she notes) knows she loves him and she’ll be back again tomorrow.
I can’t help thinking if this dog is really so smart, he’s already figured it out.
Driving home, Lillie usually dozes, but tonight, she’s unusually vocal. “Daddy, when you were in preschool, were there mean boys?”
I assume this is more Louie bullshit. “Yeah, they usually tried to do feats of strength and stuff like that. Why? Is Louie trying to make you eat something gross?”
“No!” She shrieks, her little nose curling. “I don’t listen to Louie anymore.” Then she gets quiet, and I can tell by her eyes, she’s thinking. “What’s feasts of strength?”
“Feats. It just means boys trying to show off who’s the strongest.” Alpha-male bullshit.
“I think grown-up girls do feasts of strength.” She looks out the window as if she’s done with this conversation.
Not so fast.
“What do you mean, princess?” She does a little sigh, and she’s singing another Disney song I don’t know. “Princess? Are grown-up girls being mean to you?”
My hackles are up, and I’m ready to get to the bottom of this.
Mamma bear? Meet Pappa bear.
“Not to me, Daddy.” She laughs like that’s ridiculous. In my experience, sadly, it’s not so ridiculous. “I think some of the mommies are mean to Ruby.”
If I thought the idea of someone being mean to my kid was bad, I had no idea how I’d react to someone being mean to Ruby. I can only guess it’s because I sense it might be partly my fault.
“Did something happen, baby?”
“Huh uh.” She shakes her little head no. “Ruby always wants to go home real quick. She never talks to Ms. Terry anymore. She says Buddy misses me.”
A knot is in my throat, but I hide it. “I’m sure Buddy does miss you. You’re his favorite human.”
“And Ruby!” My daughter’s voice is shrill and offended.
“Right—of course, I meant and Ruby. I just meant of the humans who don’t live with him.”
“Ruby’s doing a painting. She says it’s me and her.”
The confession cements my resolve. I could see the resemblance as the days passed, but I didn’t know for sure. Mother and sleeping child? Do I need to be hit over the head with a frying pan?
Lillie goes back to singing her Disney song as quickly as she stopped, and as always I’m amazed at how fast my daughter lets go of disagreements once they’re settled. We should all be this way.
Back at the house, I pace in front of my computer. I’ve had this idea in my head since my conversation with Stephen, and it’s only grown stronger with every passing day. It seems impulsive and ill-advised, but truth be told, Buddy cemented the deal.
Last week I ordered the ring, and tonight, I’ll sit down with Lillie and ask if she’s okay with what I’m planning to do. I’m pretty confident she’ll be onboard with the idea.
Then I simply set the stage for it to happen…
34
Ruby
The text from Remi blasts in my face.
Would you be able to take Lillie to school? Emergency errand. May can watch til you get here. Thanks.
I’ve got to stop falling asleep with my phone in my hand.
Rubbing my eyes, I glance at the clock. Seven fifteen! I throw my feet out of bed. Buddy lifts his little head, seeming as annoyed as me at this unexpected intrusion.
“Come on, Bud.” I grab him off the bed and carry him to the back door.
Thanks to my little helper, he’s gotten to where he goes outside, does his business, and comes back when he’s done. Lillie is tak
ing responsible pet ownership very seriously. I just love that girl.
I especially enjoy the afternoons spent talking to her dad while she mothers Buddy like he’s the only Miniature Schnoodle on the planet.
Stepping into old sweats and pulling on a turtleneck, I gather my hair into a messy bun and grab my mug of coffee. I’m going to have a chat with Remington about unscheduled emergencies like this. Yes, I’m still Lillie’s nanny, but I’m not Miss “Drop of the Hat” girl. I wouldn’t have stayed up all night finishing my painting if I’d known I was getting up at the crack of dawn.
Stopping in front of the easel, I smile. The portrait is similar to the original, a woman in a black dress with a sleeping toddler on her shoulder, but my woman’s hair is shining black, her profile is mine, and the toddler is clearly Lillie. I have to say, I captured her angelic face and golden curls pretty damn well. I call it “Caregiver and Sleeping Child.”
I love giving her care.
“Come on, Bud.” I step into my black Uggs and scoop him under my arm.
Lillie will be thrilled to see her puppy before school. I also love spoiling that child.
Only because she’s sweet about it.
If she were a little shit, I might not feel so spoil-ey.
Damn, I’m grumpy when I’m awoken unexpectedly.
“Lillie! Time for school.”
“Ruby!” She squeals from upstairs, and Buddy goes bananas wiggling under my arm.
“All right, all right, Bud.” I put him down, and he high-tails it to the stairs.
It’s his first time in this house, but I swear to God, he scampers up those stairs like he knows exactly where his human lives. I stand in the grand entrance and watch his little apricot butt climb two flights, three flights, and take a sharp right at the top floor.
Half a second later, she’s squealing his name. “Buddy!”
Tempt Me: A First Class Romance Collection Page 85