by Sage Sask
“It’s why we do what we do,” Phoenix says quietly. “Our job is to try and keep the world safe.” She smiles, and then asks, “Get started?” On my nod, she says, “Before you touch someone, imagine a light.”
“Ryan mentioned white,” I murmur.
If Gavin is surprised by the information, he doesn’t show it. “White works great. It means harmony, so it aligns all the different energies in your body. Green is the color of healing, so that works also.”
Melanie adds, “Seconds before making contact, flood your body with the light. I do a rainbow of colors. How do you see the visions?”
“As if the situation is happening,” I admit.
“You need to disassociate from them. You’re connecting to the information but also the emotions from the vision.” Phoenix places two fingers between my eyebrows. “You’re overloading your mind.”
“I’m short-circuiting?” I step back before the pain starts.
“Exactly,” Phoenix says.
“It can’t be that simple.”
Jackson shrugs. “We make it complicated.”
Just as we ready to get started, Sawyer rides up on his bike. He kicks off the engine before joining us. Shane stares at Sawyer, who focuses on me. “What are you doing here? I thought you were working with Victoria.” Before Sawyer can respond, Shane turns to me. “Sawyer’s the only reader who can help Victoria strengthen her ability to read readers. He’s a brilliant loser that way.”
With his gaze locked on me, Sawyer explains to the group, “Ryan needed Victoria, so I thought I could help here. Have we partnered up yet?” On Shane’s no, he immediately says, “Good, I have Alexia.” There are some surprised reactions, but he ignores them. He leads us to a secluded spot away from the others then holds out his hand. “Put it in mine.”
“Why?”
“To shut down,” he says, surprising me. “Your pain is debilitating? Let’s work on that first.” When I hesitate, he says, “You have to shut down first completely. Imagine a black curtain coming down over a stage, and the theatre going dark.”
I put my hand in his. On contact, the pain rips through me. I struggle to do as he says. “The pain isn’t lessening,” I murmur through clenched teeth.
“Keep going,” he pushes.
His voice is matter-of-fact, as if he believes I can do it. I strain for the darkness, to push everything out of my mind, including the pain. I imagine a dark curtain falling, not just on the stage but over my entire mind.
“Is everything dark?” he asks. Focused on maintaining the shade, I nod quickly. “Good. Now open the curtain and let white light in.”
I open it and imagine the white light. Every neuron in my mind misfires, sending pain traversing through my entire body. I scream in agony.
“Close the curtain!” Sawyer yells as he pulls his hand out of mine.
I push them shut, and slowly, the pain dissipates. I breathe in spurts until I can take mouthfuls of air. I pull back when he slips his hand into mine again.
“It’s not working,” I argue.
“Let’s try again,” he says. “Ready?”
I force myself to say yes. Sawyer’s fingers wrap around mine and hold on tight. When the pain intensifies, I start the process again until the black curtain covers every facet of my brain. I open the curtain only slightly, barely allowing in a peek of light.
“Good,” Sawyer murmurs when he feels my fingers go lax. “Allow the white light in slowly until it fills the entire stage. But the rest of your brain has to remain dark.”
Afraid of the pain from before, I follow his directions precisely. Slowly I pull back the curtains until, as he said, white covers the stage.
“I’m there,” I murmur. My voice strains from the exertion. Though I have not moved an inch, my body feels like it has run a mile. Sweat drips down my forehead and the back of my neck in rivulets.
“Good. Now, what do you see on the stage?”
I yank my hand out of his and stare at him. “I can’t see anything. Readers can’t read other readers, remember?” He holds out his hand and waits quietly. My instincts start screaming. “Why are you here, Sawyer?”
“To help you.” He motions toward his hand. “Trust me. Don’t worry about why. Only about what you need.”
He patiently waits while I make my decision. His silence implores me to believe him, to take what I need and not worry about the rest. I take a moment and then slip my hand in his and focus. Soon, shadows of images dance in the darkness. I strain closer, trying to make them out. A younger version of Sawyer, cast in shades, emerges. In disbelief, I hold on to the image until the pain becomes overwhelming.
“I can’t do it.” I pull my hand back. I open my eyes only after I am sure I have veiled the truth. No matter his insistence to trust, I rely on my instincts more and keep my secret. “There’s nothing but outlines.”
“Why do you want to read?” he asks.
“What?” I ask, unsure about his question.
“Why do you want to read?” he demands. “Just because you can isn’t good enough.” On my silence, he explains, “What we do isn’t just a job. It’s our way of life.” He motions around us. “It’s all we know.” Sadness filters across his face. “Out there we’re seen as different. Even though it’s not our fault, the world treats us as if it were. They hate us and need us at the same time.”
Humbled, I let his answer settle inside me. Instead of seeing the Circle as a prison, I try and see it from his perspective. “They’re lucky to have people like you fighting for others.”
“You could be one of us,” he says quietly.
I feel a tug at his words; a longing I have never imagined existed. When loneliness is all you have, you convince yourself it is what you want.
“I’m not as strong as the rest of you.”
“We are all energy. Connected through our emotions and thoughts. That’s what gives us the power to read.” He stares me down. “Find the reason you want to read.” Like a coach to an athlete, he encourages me. “The reason has to be bigger than the pain. Then try again.” He considers me then says quietly, “And if you ever find that you can read another reader, you need to guard that secret with your life.”
“Why?” I ask, shaken.
“Victoria is guaranteed her place at the Circle because of her ability. It’s the only reason she doesn’t have to go through the Evaluation. As her twin, David will see anyone who can take her place as a threat.”
“David is her twin?” Fury at how he treated me makes me wonder who Victoria is.
“And her protector,” Sawyer says, more severe than I have ever seen him. “Anyone or anything that threatens Victoria, he eliminates.”
“Did Victoria…” I pause, losing my courage. If I ask him how she knew, then he knows my secret. But if I don’t, then I am without an answer. “Did Victoria send you?” I compromise with myself.
His look of confusion gives me the answer before he says, “No. Why would she have?”
“No reason.” Then, before I chance revealing more, I walk away.
SIXTEEN
It is still dark outside when the knock comes. All night I have tossed, replaying Sawyer’s words in my head. If it wasn’t Victoria, then who? How did he know I needed help? When the key twists seconds later, I pull the blanket over myself and get ready to lecture Ryan, but Jackie walks in.
“Rise and shine,” Jackie chirps. I groan at the high-pitched sound. “Too much?” She takes a closer look at me. “You look terrible.”
I force myself out of bed and glance out the window. My reflection stares back at me. Dark circles line my eyes. The clothes from last night hang off of me.
“Not much sleep last night,” I admit.
“Then today is your lucky day.”
“I get to sleep in?” I swallow the aches with every movement. All of my m
uscles scream in harmony.
“No. Better.” Jackie tosses me a pair of jeans. “It’s a surprise.”
Too exhausted to care, I get dressed then follow her to the dining hall. The crew at the table is nearly finished. As we pass them, Shane throws a roll at me. It hits my shoulder and drops to the ground. I glance at it, then him.
“You were supposed to catch it.” He looks pointedly at me. “Thought you might be hungry.”
I gesture toward the food tables. “There’s food right there.”
“Huh.” He glances at the buffet and purses his lips. “Right then.” He goes back to his meal.
I follow Jackie to the tables and grab a plate. “What’s the surprise?”
“Why didn’t Ryan want to wake you up this morning?” Jackie asks, instead. “He told me he had things to do, but…” She jerks her head toward a table where he’s sitting with Victoria and David.
I think about our interaction after the Council meeting. Ryan was tense and angry. We haven’t spoken since Harrison interrupted us.
“Maybe he was hungry.” I drop my voice.
Jackie glances down and fidgets with her plate. “How did the reading session go yesterday?”
Sawyer’s words replay in my head. “I hit a wall.”
“Keep trying,” she murmurs.
It was her friends who helped me yesterday. They included me because she did. “Thanks,” I say, meaning it.
I finish filling my plate then join her at the table. I toss a roll at Shane. It knocks him on the head then drops to the table. When he glances up, I smile.
“Returning the favor.” When he laughs, I pause, surprised at myself. It’s the first time I’ve felt safe enough to be myself. To chance playing.
Shane grabs the roll and takes a healthy bite. “Thanks mate.”
Derrick leans over and lowers his voice. “Heard the meeting went well with the Council.” At my look of surprise, he says, “Rochelle is my mom.”
Remembering her command of the room, I say, “She seems kind of like a badass.”
He laughs out loud. “She is. Was the best in the field.” On my questioning look, he explains, “They had to amputate her leg after a mission.”
I hear his sadness and pride. “You’re close?”
“Yeah, very. She’s really sweet.” He grimaces in embarrassment when he sees my disbelief. “I know. You have to dig deep. Think excavation deep to find that side of her.”
“I’ll take your word for it.” In one form or another, they are all connected. Every one of them a link in the chain of the Circle. I’m the only one that doesn’t have a place. “Victoria read me,” I admit. He nods as if the decision makes sense. “She confirmed I’m not evil.”
“Did you think you were?” he teases.
I scan the faces of the group. After a short time, they already consider me one of them. Cassia catches me staring and gives me a thumbs-up. They have included me — even though they have no idea where I came from or whose side I’m on. With a start, I realize I don’t either. My memories speak of a life that doesn’t make sense. But every time I reach for them to understand better, they disappear as if I conjured them from my imagination.
“No.” I hope I’m right. “I didn’t.”
***
“What’s the surprise?”
We walk through a large manicured field. Trees sway from the ocean breeze. I automatically stiffen when I hear the ocean lapping against the shore. I mask my face when Jackie gives me a curious look.
“Flight training,” Gavin answers.
The planes Gavin mentioned. I search the area. “Where?”
“There.” Samira points to the arena. Like the others, she has on pants and a short-sleeved shirt.
“It’ll be fun.” Shane bumps his shoulder against mine, nearly knocking me over.
There is a roar, and then two oval-shaped planes fly overhead in perfect sync. They flip in unison to loud applause. They head back and begin their descent. As they approach the airstrip, two other capsules speed down the runway and start their ascent. Their circular fronts point upward as they gain speed. Once in the air, they steady out and fly parallel, then veer off in opposite directions. They idle in the air, then turn to face one another.
The energy in the air is fast and furious. I can feel the planes’ power as they cut through the air. Unable to stop looking, I pause and watch. There is another loud rumble as they fuel their engines then speed toward one another.
“Show-offs,” Melanie mutters. “Guaranteed David’s inside the cockpit.”
“We don’t get inside the capsules too often,” Gavin explains, though I barely hear him. He shrugs when Jackie scoffs at his defense. “Can’t help the fun.”
“Why do you have them?” I ask as Jackie motions me to follow the group into the large metal enclosure. It opens into a field filled with a nearly full stadium.
“Senior members use them to get to and from the island.” Cassia pauses before saying, “During the Evaluation, they are for rescue.”
Phoenix adds, “The government doesn’t have enough material for more planes, so they designed smaller versions for our use. Learning to fly them is part of our training.”
Above us, the capsules take a sharp turn seconds before colliding. The audience jumps up from their seats with a round of applause. The crowd gasps with anticipation as the pilots hover a few feet from each other. One soars over the other before both fly straight toward the sky. A loud bell signals them to start their descent.
The first pilot hits the landing strip then guides the capsule to a parking spot. The door bangs open, and David emerges from the cockpit. The second capsule parks alongside him. I watch as Ryan steps out with helmet in hand.
“Ryan’s been flying almost as long as Gavin has,” Phoenix says when she catches me. “He’s an excellent pilot. So is David.”
“I wasn’t…” I start to say I wasn’t watching Ryan, but Phoenix smiles.
“Come on.” Phoenix gestures toward a small brown building next to the parked capsules. “They’re waiting for you.”
“For me?” I ask.
“Yeah. The surprise? You’re flying today.” Sure I’ve misheard, I wait for her to correct herself, but she only laughs at the look on my face. “Time to earn your wings.”
I stare at the sky. A buzzing excitement flows through me. “Let’s do it.”
***
Floor-to-ceiling windows reveal Hudson at the control center, facing the runways. Ryan takes a seat next to him. Inside the door, I overhear them guiding the next set of capsules for landing and takeoff. An older member observes from nearby.
When Hudson spots Phoenix and me, he slips off his headset and joins us. “You ready?”
“Definitely.” I try but fail to hide my excitement.
Hudson laughs. “Most people are scared their first time up.” He falls quiet as he considers me. “Not you, hmm?”
I shrug, uncomfortable. “Fear doesn’t seem to help.”
He hands me a helmet, then helps me to tighten the straps before tapping the protruding mouthpiece. “You speak to control through this. There’s a speaker inside the helmet for return sound.” He steps back and assesses me, then nods. “You’re all set. The capsule is out back and keys in the ignition. Good luck.”
Sure there has to be more; I give him a look. “What am I missing?”
Hudson considers me before shaking his head. “Like I said — all set.” He taps my helmet again, and then points toward the door. “Better get going.”
I start to argue when Jackie joins us. She has changed into a flight suit and helmet.
“Ready? I’m your trainer.” She gives Hudson a questioning glance when he bursts out laughing.
“Funny.” I glare at him, but inside, I feel light and hopeful.
“I thought so.
” He gives my covered shoulder a quick squeeze. “Good luck up there,” he says before heading back to the control panel.
Jackie leads us toward a back door. “We’ll go through the basics then take a test flight.” She motions me ahead of her. “Don’t worry. I’ll be in the seat behind you.”
***
On an otherwise empty smaller airstrip sits a single capsule. Jackie slaps the hood with pride. “This is it.”
I study the silver-painted oval bird. There are two seats, one in front of the other. A shiny new coat of paint glistens in the muted sun’s rays. The plane’s sleek nose curves around the glossy edges. Two front wheels sit directly below the first seat, and another pair holds up the rear.
Jackie uses the foot track to pull herself up. She hits a lever, and the covering over the cockpit lifts and slides back.
“This is our trainer capsule. Brand new. We just received it last week.” She runs her hand over the exterior like a proud parent. “It’s a copy of our standard two-engine capsule meant for speed and covert missions.” She catches my eye to make sure I am following before continuing. “The capsule moves fast and is easily maneuverable.”
The roar of two capsules speeding down the runway drowns her out. She pauses as they gain speed then lift off. Airborne, the pilots circle the perimeter, and then flip their capsules over. The audience bursts into applause.
I scan the array of buttons and levers on the console. A large red button on the end flashes. “What’s that for?”
“It controls the magnet installed around the capsule’s exterior,” Jackie explains. “The island has a magnetic shield around the perimeter.” She runs her hand beneath the capsule. A dark streak marks her hand. “It protects us from detection by passing aircraft. It also serves as a shield against our training capsules leaving the island.” She points to the red button. “If the capsules cross the barrier, they’ll explode immediately, killing the pilot and destroying the capsule.”