I just had to get away long enough to do it.
I can’t get you to come with me when I need you like I need air…
The memory of his words haunted me. Through the long, endless dreams.
As my body healed, my heart fractured even more.
Nobody hurts you, Kit…
* * * * *
Wake up, Kit. Come on, we can’t find you if you sleep—
Once more, icy water was my wake-up call. Choking on it, I sputtered into wakefulness and tried to roll away. They’d learned fast though and I couldn’t get away from it long enough to fade. The force of the water was brutal and I was gasping, choking when it finally ended.
A towel was thrown in at me and I stayed where I was, letting it fall to the floor in front of me.
“So you’d rather stay naked in front of the guards?”
Through the sopping wet hanks of my hair, I shifted my eyes up. I knew that voice. Knew it well—Evangeline.
Absently, I flexed my wrist but memory came rushing at me. The song of my blade was silenced. I couldn’t call her.
She laughed, the sound of it so sweet and innocent, one might have thought she was a child at play.
I wanted to gut her. Wanted it so bad I hurt with it.
“You can’t call that pretty sword now, can you?” she whispered. She paced forward to the bars and wrapped her hands around them, pressing her face against them, smiling at me. “How brave are you now, Kit?”
I shoved the hair out of my face as I took a mental inventory. I could move everything. Rising, I stared at her. I could stand.
That was good.
And there were still abilities they couldn’t strip from me…the ability to go unseen, the ability to fight. As weak as I was, as tired as I was, I doubted I could maintain the invisibility for too long, but I only needed a few minutes. And I’d have to be dead not to fight.
Holding her gaze, I smiled and faded out of sight.
She sighed and shook her head. “That’s not going to help you much. Jude can track the sound of your heart. If I try, I can…” She closed her eyes and judging by the look on her face she was doing just that.
Too bad she wasn’t fast enough.
I shoved my hands through the bars. She was out of practice. She hadn’t caught my location until it was too late. With every ounce of strength I had, I slammed her head against the bars and listened to the beautiful sound of bone crunching. I did it again, and again as her screams went from vicious to broken. She fought and she was strong, but Evangeline had come to Jude to be his little whore. She hadn’t ever learned how to fight.
It took four of the guards to pry her loose and none of them wanted to come into the cell with me.
As they dragged her away, I moved over to the towel and lifted it up, used it to wipe the gore from my face. I was filthy again and I had to fight the urge to scratch at my skin. Instead, I wiped away the blood, the brain matter and bone. Turning around, I listened to her moans. If she’d been purely human, she’d be dead, but a vampire’s companion had a little more strength.
Crossing the cell, I smiled at her battered face. Nobody who knew her would even recognize her. “I don’t know, Angie,” I said, wondering if she’d heard me. “Just how brave am I now?”
One of the guards gave me a disbelieving stare. I threw the towel at him and moved back to the corner.
How much time had passed, I wondered. How much time had I been here?
It couldn’t have been too long. I hadn’t eaten a blessed thing, hadn’t had anything to drink. Even after the healing, I could only manage a few days before I’d start to suffer the effects of that.
“He’s going to hurt you over that,” one of them said.
I looked up and met his eyes and just stared.
Hurt me? Jude had kidnapped me. Raped me. I was being held prisoner. And he thought I was worried that Jude would hurt me because I’d damaged his precious little Evangeline?
I curled my lip as I turned my back on them.
I’d settled in the corner where I could catch a glimmer of sunlight. There wasn’t a window in here, but there must be out in the corridor because I saw a faint beam of light falling on the floor. If I kept my eyes on it, I could maybe keep track of the days. Maybe. There had been one day before Jude—
My mind spun away from that night, cringing in terror. The healer had said she’d put me under for a few days to heal so maybe three had passed? Today could be the fourth or fifth—
I gulped as it hit me.
Focusing on the face of the man waiting in front of my cell, I said again, “He’s already hurt me. And he’ll do it again. I might as well enjoy myself where I can.”
Again, there was a flicker of disbelief in his eyes and he shook his head. “You’re too fucking stupid to be alive.”
It wasn’t the first time I’d heard that. And for some reason, it made the ache in my heart spread. “How long have I been here?”
His mouth twisted. “Six days. Tonight will make the seventh.”
Seven days—
My hands were trembling and I curled them into fists. But not fast enough. He saw that telltale tremor and something that might have been pity flickered in his eyes. “You don’t have anybody coming for you,” he said. “Jude’s marked you as his own little bloodwhore and nobody around here fucks with him.”
The title hit me like a fist. It was an archaic one that had been abolished with the writing of the charter. Some of the older vampires still clung to it. Bloodwhore. Just what it sounded like.
“There are plenty of people here who will fuck with Jude,” I said, forcing the words out.
“Not here.” He stood up and glanced down the corridor. I had the feeling he was eying the window I couldn’t see. “You’re not in your territory. You’re just meat here. His meat. His property. Nobody will help you. Your only chance to escape is by dying. And he won’t let that happen.”
My nails dug into my palms as the full weight of what he was saying hit me.
Not in my territory…
Oh, shit. Shit. Terror gripped me, so hard, so fast. It wasn’t just what Jude had done. Kidnapping me—that wasn’t so much of a shock. The physical pain, the attacks, that wasn’t even it.
But I was away from the few people I could trust. The very few, I realized.
Good-bye, Kit—
Suddenly, the weight of those words crashed into me even harder and I wanted to sob.
I’d just been trying to help him.
“Don’t,” I whispered to myself. It wouldn’t help. Any self-pity would have to wait, because it would not help.
I’d been trying to help him and he’d walked away from me. The one person who could have moved heaven and earth to find me no longer wanted me.
Now I had to acknowledge that fact, accept it so I didn’t pin any misspent hope on it.
It was possible that Colleen could rally support for me among the witches, but there wasn’t a strong bond there. They’d offered me kinship, but that only meant they’d give me aid when I called.
And how could I reach out to them now?
While I had friends in Wolf Haven who likely would care, none of them would travel that far from their particular safety nets—TJ would never leave the bar, and Goliath wouldn’t leave her.
Which, in the end, left only one person.
Justin.
And one Banner cop, amazing as he was, wasn’t going to be able to storm Jude’s castle.
I’m fucked, I realized.
If I couldn’t get out of there, I was fucked.
* * * * *
Bent over, I half-gagged, half vomited out a bellyful of blood.
Jude was on the far side of the cell.
I was acutely aware of his presence.
Part of me wanted to push him just a little more, because I thought if I did, he’d kill me.
Your only chance to escape is by dying. Something I was considering more and more.
“Call Yasmine,” I h
eard him say, and his voice was a cold blade.
“Oh…come…on,” I panted. “You’re done, al…already?”
He closed the distance between us and fisted a hand in my hair, jerking me up. “You won’t get out of this so easily, Kit,” he breathed into my face. “You’ve internal bleeding. I smell it. If you think I’ll kill you and let you escape me like that, you’re sorely mistaken.”
His hand cupped my face and squeezed. Hard. The bones of my jaw shattered and despite my determination to never give into the need to scream, if I could have then, I would have.
“You’ll stop this, Kit,” he said, hurling me to the floor. He knelt by me and stroked a hand down my hair. “You cannot escape and you will not be saved. Surely you’ve figured that out by now. I’ve had more than a week. Even if your fucking cat could find you, he wouldn’t want you after what I’ve done.”
He raked his nails over my neck, over the raw, angry edges of the marks he’d left all over me.
I summoned up the energy to turn my head away.
The words were a knife in my heart.
He wouldn’t want you—
And although he was still talking, it was no longer his voice I heard.
It was Sam’s, when I’d called to talk to him.
Chang’s, when I’d reached out to him.
His people, closing ranks to keep me from him. All because of a fight.
Jude was right…he wouldn’t want me now.
It doesn’t matter, I told myself and I tried to make myself believe it. I tried, so very hard. I had to believe in it, because I needed something to cling to. Something to focus on so I could get out of here.
The warmth of healing magic brushed against my skin and I knew Yasmine had entered the cell. More blood burned its way up my throat and I gagged on it, too weak, too hurt to move. Her hands rolled me onto my side and she stroked a hand down my back as the spasms gripped me.
“She’s bleeding,” Yasmine said quietly after it had passed. “Lungs, stomach, intestine. Her heart is bruised and numerous ribs are broken in addition to her arm. Again. She can’t keep taking injuries like this without it doing harm, Master. Humans aren’t made for it and she’s half-human. I can only heal so much before there is permanent damage.”
“She needs to learn her place,” Jude said, and his tone was cold.
A gentle hand touched my brow and some of the pain faded away. I didn’t welcome the kindness. I needed the pain.
As I turned my head to glare at her, Yasmine watched me with troubled eyes. Knowing eyes. “There was no lesson learned, I fear, Master,” she said quietly.
More blood rushed up but before I could start to puke up the blood, her magic flooded me. Dimly, I heard her speaking. “She has a tolerance to pain that I haven’t seen in anybody so young. There was a great deal of abuse in her life, Master. You will not break her or bring her to heel in such a method.”
“Is that what you think?”
As Yasmine eased me into a prone position, her hands spanned my ribcage. “I pray you do not take this out on me, Master, for I can only tell you what I see when I look within her. But she will die before she breaks for you. And she’ll do it happily.”
As the magic chased through me, I closed my eyes.
Her voice drifted into my mind. “I am not doing you a kindness, girl. He’ll find another way. You should yield. If he thinks you’ve given in, then you have a better chance at healing, regaining your strength…then breaking free once you’ve lulled him into complacency.”
Even the thought was enough to make me feel sick again.
No.
Just…no.
Chapter Sixteen
Useless. Look at you…
I huddled in the corner and fought to see the slice of sunlight.
I wasn’t quite awake, but I wasn’t quite asleep.
Delirium plagued me and hunger gnawed at me, but I couldn’t eat and I feared moving from my little spot in the corner. I hadn’t moved since I had crawled away from Jude the past night. At this point, I was so weak, I barely had the energy to move.
He’d broken no bones, but it was becoming a struggle just to fight.
Every injury he’d left on me should heal within a day or so.
Except it wasn’t. Blood still oozed from my cuts, the bruises were as vivid as they’d been when he had put them on me. I wasn’t healing at all.
You’re not eating. How can you hope to heal when you do not eat?
I rubbed my ear against my shoulder and tried to ignore that buzzing gnat of a voice. It almost sounded like Rana. One of my hated aunts.
Is this how you escape? Through starvation? A coward’s way.
How can you be strong enough to flee from him if you do not eat? You have to eat, Kitasa—
I tried to get away from her voice, but no matter how hard I tried, the voice was still there.
The small panel of sunlight had traveled half way across the corridor. That meant it was noon. The day was half done. And that meant—
It means he is sleeping for a few more hours and you have those hours to eat, drink, and plan. Use them. Or are you the useless weak fool we always thought?
Useless…
I flexed my hand and thought longingly of my blade. I missed her music.
Dully, I turned my head and stared at the food sitting on a tray by the door. I couldn’t eat.
Not yet.
But I was thirsty.
* * * * *
“You took some of it.”
At the sound of Yasmine’s voice, I looked up.
Drinking the water had been a mistake. It had brought a painful clarity to my mind, one I could do without. I didn’t want clarity. I didn’t want to think and I didn’t want any more strength in my body, either. The weaker I was, the easier it was to drift away.
But I also knew that if I wanted to escape, I had to stop hiding. Had to do…something.
“Yes.”
She nodded and studied the tray. “Can you eat?”
“No food.”
“I’ll send some broth down. They are preparing your lunch, but I can do that much.” She turned and walked away.
I stared at her back. “Why?”
She paused. Without looking at me, she said sadly, “You are not the only prisoner here, Kit. I simply chose to make the best of my situation. I’m a healer. I heal the broken and the sick. I do what I must to survive. You’d be wise to do the same.”
Disgust curled through me. “Survive…as his bloodwhore?”
“Would you rather die?” she asked.
Your only chance to escape is by dying.
“You already know the answer,” I said. “Why bother to ask?”
If I had to choose between surviving here and dying, dying was the best option, no question. But if I could get away, that was my first choice. So I’d hang in there.
Reevaluate once I saw where I was. What was going on.
* * * * *
Broth and water for two meals made a disturbing difference.
I felt almost myself when Jude came in. Stronger. Clearer. And so terrified when he looked at me.
As the cell doors swung open, he came inside, that enigmatic smile on his face. “You look much better, darling Kit.”
I stayed where I was. My hair was still damp from the daily dousing with the hose and I was cold; I’d been cold ever since they’d brought me here. I was almost used to it. Every instinct in me was screaming for me to run, or fight. Instead, I stayed where I was, staring at the wall.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” he asked.
I just stared at the wall. Gray stone.
Gray—my heart hitched in my chest, because that color reminded me—No. Don’t do this to yourself, Kit—I bumped my head against the stone to knock the memory out. It didn’t do much good, but Jude wasn’t done tormenting me.
He came closer and stroked a hand down my hair.
“Aren’t you going to fight?”
I didn�
��t answer.
And to my dismay, to my humiliation, he started to laugh. “Oh, Kit…broken, already?” He patted my head, like I was a fucking dog. “You held on longer than I’d expected, but I was starting to think I’d have a real fight with you. You barely managed two weeks.”
Two weeks.
Raped every day I wasn’t unconscious.
Endless beatings.
Sure…you think I’m broken, you fucker. I kept my eyes closed, because if I looked at him, he’d see the rage in my eyes. See the hate.
“Come. Let’s get you some place more comfortable to rest. I’ll let you have a night to yourself. Tomorrow, you’ll be bathed and fitted for some clothing,” he murmured. And the bastard had the nerve to put his arm around as he dragged me upward. “Your new life begins tomorrow. It will be easier than the past few days.”
* * * * *
There was no window.
I’d needed a window.
I missed the sunlight and I needed to get an idea where I was so I could start plotting my escape route. I’d hope I could even try tonight, even though instinct told me that wasn’t wise.
Another meal was brought to me, but I ignored most of it. The rich pasta, the sweet desserts were more than I could possibly force into my long-deprived belly. I did drink the water. There was some fruit and I ate that.
I took a shirt and some trousers from the simple wardrobe. The servant who’d been sent to help me nervously said, “You won’t stay here after tomorrow. The master didn’t want you in your real quarters until you’ve been bathed properly.”
I didn’t care.
The door was locked once she left and I grabbed a blanket, searched the room.
Spying the closet, I went inside and shut myself inside.
Small, confining spaces might not seem ideal to some. Normally, I wouldn’t like it, either. But after two weeks of sleeping behind bars, where anybody could see me, this sounded perfect. Locked behind a door, behind the illusion of safety…perfect.
Night Blade (Colbana Files) Page 22