“Ellie told you she had lunch with me and Isla, and that I was all over Isla?” He repeated slowly, needing the facts absolutely straight before he reacted.
“Yes.”
His wee sister. His bloody annoying wee sister had fucked up. “If she hadn’t just had brain surgery I swear to God I’d kill her.” He should never have confided in her his plan to give Jocelyn space. He knew Ellie hadn’t agreed with it but he’d never thought she would meddle and make everything worse. And Jocelyn. Oh he was going to deal with her. How bloody fickle did she think he was? How clearer could he make his feelings for her?
Braden stalked her and this time she did take a step back to avoid their bodies meeting. “I never had lunch with Isla and Ellie. They met when she and Adam stopped by the club to drop off a USB stick I left at the flat. They met for two seconds.”
At least Jocelyn had the decency to look chagrined. “Why would she tell me that?”
He turned away, his whole body humming with frustration and he couldn’t bloody have a go at the one who had caused it because she’d just gone through something he couldn’t imagine. But when she was back to 100%, they were going to have a little chat. He sighed. “I don’t know. Probably because I told her I was giving you space as part of the next stage in my plan to get you back, and Ellie didn’t agree it was a good idea. Apparently, Ellie thought jealousy was the next step.” He shot her a look now, perturbed to realize that jealousy hadn’t worked. He knew enough to know that Jocelyn felt possessive of him. It was disconcerting to realize, however, that in this case that feeling had made her run from him not toward him. “Apparently she was wrong.” Braden wandered around her room slowly, trying to process this. His possessiveness of Jocelyn made him fight harder for her. If it did the opposite for Jocelyn, he feared how long it would take to break down her barriers. The idea exhausted him. Life was too short for this shit. Hadn’t Ellie just proven that?
“I still don’t understand. I met Isla, buddy, she’s exactly your type, and she was definitely flirting with you.”
That heat, that almost growl in her words, sparked to life the hope Braden needed to cling to. “Why do you care?” he found himself grinning as he ran his hands along her bookshelf. A bookshelf filled with love stories. God, she was in such fucking denial. “You said you don’t—” he cut off abruptly as his fingers caught the edges of a ticket.
A plane ticket.
To Virginia. He shifted it, looking for the return ticket. But there was only one ticket. One way.
“What?”
Braden picked it up, turning toward her as his ears filled with the rushing of blood in his ears. She thought she could leave him? She thought she could just fucking give up? Hurt and rage suffused him as he glared at her and held up the e-ticket. “Going somewhere?”
“I’m going home,” she blurted out. And then she paled at whatever she saw on his face.
If he stayed in that room with her, he would explode. He would say shit he didn’t mean.
He’d fuck up as royally as her.
So he left.
But not because he was done fighting. He tucked the e-ticket into his pocket out of sight.
This time Jocelyn would come to him.
Braden tried to shrug off his foul mood as he sat with his wee sister but he felt a complicated mix of worry and irritation with her. And his foul mood toward Jocelyn filled the entire apartment. Not wanting to overshadow Ellie’s return home, Braden decided to leave.
He stewed all the way home, anticipating Jocelyn realizing he hadn’t put her ticket back. He wondered what she’d do. How she’d feel? All that really mattered, he decided, as he let himself into his flat, was that she chased him.
Once he had her alone… well he was going to love and fuck the stubbornness right out of her for good.
Thankfully Braden didn’t have to wait long and he found that extremely reassuring. His woman was looking for a fight and a person only fought when something was important to them. He heard the buzzer on his door and strode down the hall to see Jocelyn glaring into the camera. Satisfaction roared through him as he let her into the building.
He stood in the doorway, waiting for her, knowing he appeared more casual than he actually felt. As soon as the lift doors opened, that casualness threatened to disappear. Jocelyn strode out, those gorgeous eyes blazing with indignation. He stepped back to let her into the flat, smirking as she spun so fast on him she almost lost her balance. Yes, she was good and angry.
Much, much better than indifference.
“This isn’t funny,” she snapped as he wandered by her into his large sitting room.
He scowled at her. “I know it’s not bloody funny. Believe me.”
She held out a hand. “Give me my ticket, Braden. I am not even kidding.”
Seething, but holding onto his control, he merely nodded and pulled the ticket out of his back pocket. “This ticket?”
“Yes. Give it to me.”
Wanting her to understand succinctly what he thought of the whole fucking ridiculous situation he casually tore the ticket to pieces, letting little bits of paper fall to his floor. “What ticket?”
And then she lost it. More so than he ever thought possible.
Jocelyn flew at him, her face contorted with pain and anger as she shoved at him. So fueled by emotion that she used to force him back into a stumble. “I hate you!”
The words cut even though he didn’t believe them.
She spun away, her shoulders shaking as she tried to control her breathless sobs. “I was fine until you!” She looked back at him with so much pain it almost took him to his fucking knees. “Why? I was fine. I was safe and I was fine. I’m broken, Braden. Stop trying to fix me and just let me be broken!”
NEVER!
The sight of her tears made his own eyes bright as he shook his head slowly. As much as her agony wrecked him, he knew this was good. She needed to get this shit out. Unable to bear being even this far from her, Braden walked toward her like she was a wounded animal and when he touched her, she closed her eyes, her pain momentarily disappearing. The fool woman didn’t even realize he was exactly what she needed.
He wrapped his arms around her, feeling her soft curves melt into him, and the desperation to take away her pain made him tremble as he whispered, “You are not broken.”
Her eyes opened, those startling, magnificent eyes, and he saw only sorrow for him in them. “Yes I am.”
Realizing she pitied him for loving her, he shook her in anger without thinking. She was twenty fucking two. She was too young to give up. “No, you’re not.” God she killed him. “Jocelyn, you are not broken, baby.” His voice turned hoarse, but a whisper as he pleaded with her to fight. “You’ve got a few cracks in you, but we all have some.”
Fresh tears spilled down her soft cheeks. “I don’t hate you.”
Agony blazed in her eyes.
No. She loved him.
That’s what hurt so fucking much, he knew.
His anger turned to passion. Need for her blazed through him, quicker than a match to tinder, and that same need was mirrored in her eyes. They reached for one another, his mouth covering hers as he pulled at the clip in her hair so he could feel the silky strands fall through his fingers as he devoured her.
As he made her his.
For good.
And just like that the kiss became a culmination of all their emotions. Their anger leading the charge. It turned it bruising, punishing, and suddenly they were ripping at their clothes.
Braden pushed her up against the wall, needing to kiss, touch every inch of her and remind her just who she belonged to. Remind her of who she really was. That she was stronger when she loved and allowed herself to be loved.
He hooked her thighs around his waist, his hard cock throbbing against the seam of her jeans between her legs.
“Fuck,” Braden murmured hotly, his mouth dipping to the rise of her breast. He loved everything about this woman, but he really did have a
particular fondness for her spectacular tits. He held her up with one hand on her pert backside, the other peeled her bra down, letting the cool air whisper across her nipple. It puckered up for Braden’s kiss and he relished the sound of Jocelyn’s gasp as he sucked it into his mouth. Desire flooded him as she rubbed against Braden’s erection.
“I can’t wait,” She breathed, gripping at his shoulders.
Yeah well, neither could he. Braden unbuttoned her jeans and slid his hand inside her underwear to test just how ready she was. “Christ.” His head fell against her chest as he slid his fingers in and out of her sweet body. “So wet and tight, babe. Always.” It made him feel like the luckiest man in the goddamn world that he could elicit such a reaction in her.
“Now,” Jocelyn growled, digging her nails into his skin and spurring him on. “Braden.”
Needing to be inside her he held her and moved across the room only to bring them both down onto the couch. And then his hands couldn’t act fast enough. Soon he had her completely naked, her needy pleading filling his ears and making his heart thump hard.
Braden tried to control himself. He didn’t just want this to be a passionate coupling where they took out their frustration and anger on one another. He wanted Jocelyn to be fully cognizant of what she was asking and that by asking for it, she couldn’t run away afterward.
He gazed at her sprawled beneath him, her breasts heaving with excitement, her hair spread out all around her head like spun dark gold. And those eyes. Those exotic, fierce eyes that were soft with seduction. She was so beautiful it actually hurt.
He pressed a hand to her belly and felt it quiver beneath his touch with desire. Teasing her, he smoothed his hand gently up her stomach, between her luscious breasts, to her silky jaw. He bent his mouth to hers and whispered against it, “Ask for it.”
Her answer was to pull down the zipper on his jeans, slide her fingers into his boxer briefs and close a fist tight around his dick. A groan fell from his lips as she tugged him out of his jeans. His eyes closed with the pleasure of her tight grasp and his breathing stuttered.
“I want you to fuck me,” She licked at his lips and his eyes shot open. “Please.”
And that was it. He was a goner. He shoved his jeans further out of the way and helped her guide his cock to her entrance. Her slickness eased his way and her hands moved to his ass, her fingers biting into his muscle as she urged him to fuck her.
Which he did with pleasure.
“Harder,” She moaned. “Harder, Braden. Harder.”
Nothing made him harder nor more desperate than her sexual pleas. He kissed her and then slammed home. Because this, right here, with Jocelyn was home for him. God, he needed her to see that.
When climax finally hit them both, Braden thought it would never end. He saw the awed, glazed look in Jocelyn’s eyes and new she’d felt it too.
Had sex ever been better this? He couldn’t think when.
Fuck.
She was going to be the death of him. But Christ it would be the sweetest death.
Braden groaned and collapsed against her, unable to hold himself up any longer. He salivated over the stroke of Jocelyn’s hands on his ass, a tender caress that pleased him.
Feeling her skin damp with perspiration, he turned and pressed a kiss to her skin.
Was she as sated as he was? Or was she still pissed? No better way to know than to ask. So he did.
She sighed and then explained. “I was going home to do what I should have done eight years ago. I was going home to say goodbye to my family.”
Braden grew still as remorse flooded him. He’d torn up her fucking ticket. Shit. “God, I’m so sorry, babe. About the ticket.”
“I can reprint it. And… I was thinking about staying in Virginia permanently after Ellie is back on her feet.”
The remorse fled quickly, replaced by cold panic. “Over my dead body.”
“Yeah, I thought you’d say that.”
Annoyed he grunted. “I’m still inside you.”
“I can feel that.” She had the audacity to smile.
“Well at least let me get out of you before you tell me you’re attempting to leave me.”
“I don’t know if that’s what I’m doing yet.”
Braden exhaled slowly and withdrew from her reluctantly. He tucked himself back into his jeans and sat up, holding out his hand to her. She let him pull her up to her feet, and followed him up the stairs to his room. He nodded at his bed. “Get in.”
To his surprise she didn’t argue with his command. He stripped off the rest of his clothes and slid into the bed beside her.
He settled Jocelyn into his side, loving the feel of her melting into his arms, the silky caress of her hair on his chest as she rested her head. If she ran again, he didn’t know what else he could do to convince her to run back toward him. “So what are you doing?” he asked reluctantly.
She was silent a moment and he held his breath waiting.
Then… “I had a really good family, Braden.” The pain in those few words made his arm tighten reflexively around her. He waited, hoping she’d give him more. She didn’t disappoint.
“My mom was an orphan. She grew up in foster care here, and then moved to the States on a work visa. She was working at the college campus library when she met my dad. They fell in love, they got married, and for a while they lived happily ever after. My parents weren’t like my friends’ parents. I was fourteen and they were still sneaking around, making out when they didn’t think I could see them. They were crazy about each other. They were crazy about me and Beth. My mom was overprotective and a little overbearing because she didn’t want us to ever feel as alone as she had felt growing up. I thought she was cooler than all the other moms because, well, she had a cool accent, and she was kind of blunt, but in a really funny way that shocked some of the preppy housewives that lived in our town.”
He smiled at the thought. “Sounds like someone I know.”
He felt her smile against his chest. “Yeah?”
Braden gave her a squeeze feeling that ache inside him grow. He wanted to give this woman everything and he couldn’t bloody well give her the one thing she wanted: her family back.
“Well, she was awesome. And my dad was just as great. He was the dad who checked in with you every day to see what was up. Even as I got older and became this entirely new creature called a teenage girl, he was still always there.” A tear splashed onto his chest and he squeezed his eyes in empathy. “We were happy,” She whispered.
He kissed her hair, holding her tight, probably too tight, but he couldn’t help it. “Babe, I’m so sorry.”
“Shit happens right?” She swiped at her tears. “One day I was sitting in class and the police came to tell me that my dad had swerved into a truck to avoid a motorcyclist who’d come off his bike. Gone. Mom. Dad. Beth. I lost my parents and I lost a little girl I hadn’t really had a chance to get to know. Though I knew enough to know that I adored her. I knew she would cry if she couldn’t see her favorite teddy bear—this ratty old brown bear with a blue ribbon around his neck that used to be mine and still smelled like me. His name was Ted. Original, I know. I knew that she had a sophisticated taste in music because all you had to do to stop her from crying was play Mmmbop by Hanson.” She laughed sadly. “I knew that when I was having a bad day, all I had to do was pick her up, hold her close, smell her skin, feel her tiny warmth against me and know that everything was okay… “
Braden was a grown fucking man and yet he wanted to bawl like a baby for her. All he’d wanted was for Jocelyn to give him this — this trust. Now that he had it, he’d do anything to turn back the clock for her, even if it meant he’d never get the chance to meet her.
And although he already knew he loved her, it was in that moment he realized what that love meant.
He loved Jocelyn Butler more than he loved anyone. More than he loved himself.
Braden hadn’t known this kind of love even existed. But he guessed it ma
de sense. She tapped into his emotions like no one else could. Emotions he didn’t even know he had.
“I went off the rails when I lost them.” Jocelyn continued. “My first foster home was full of other kids, so my foster parents barely even noticed I was alive, which was fine by me since it meant I could do whatever I wanted. The only thing that numbed everything was doing stupid shit that made me feel like crap about myself. Lost my virginity too young, drank way too much. Then after Dru died, I just stopped. I was moved to another foster home on the other side of town. They didn’t have much, but there were less kids there and one kid in particular who was pretty cool. She wanted a big sister though…” She sucked in breath before admitting, “I didn’t want to be anything to anybody. She needed someone, and I didn’t give it to her. I don’t even know what happened to her after I left.”
He could feel her regret as she sighed. “When I was there, I went to a couple of parties over the years, not a lot. Always ended up with some guy I didn’t know or care to know. Truth is, I went out on the same night every year. To a party, to a bar. It didn’t matter as long as it helped me forget. I’ve spent eight years burying my family, pretending they never existed, because yeah – like you said – it was easier to pretend I’d never had them, than to deal with how much it hurt to lose them. I realize now how unfair that was to them. To the memory of them.” Fresh tears dripped onto his chest and he readied himself for what she was about to say. “The one night I went out was the anniversary of their death. But I stopped doing that when I was eighteen. I went out that night and I went to a party and I can’t remember anything that happened after I arrived. I woke up the next day and I was naked in bed with two guys I didn’t know.”
It wasn’t jealousy that made him curse under his breath and say her name hoarsely. It was anger and fear, knowing anything could have happened to her.
“Believe me, I’ve been there,” Jocelyn said, seeming to understand his reaction. “I was furious at myself, violated, scared. Anything could have happened to me. And sexually…”
ON DUBLIN STREET: THE BONUS MATERIAL Page 5