by Katie Dowe
“Can you tell me what it is?”
She closed her eyes and sat up on the bed. “I came here and saw your life and the man you were marrying and I started to wonder about my marriage. I saw the way he looked at you and the way he is around you and I wanted something like that. I thought I had it when someone in my department at work started paying attention to me.” She laughed hollowly. “He was charming and very good looking and I lost my head.” She looked at her sister. “We had sex once and a month after that I discovered I was pregnant.”
Cara looked at her sister in shock and tried to keep the horror from showing on her face. “The baby is his?”
“I have no idea.” She said with a sigh. “Clive and I were active a few nights after so I don’t know.”
“You told me that Clive was the one having the affair.” She reminded her, not sure she really knew the girl sitting up on the bed anymore.
“I am sorry I was so ashamed. Clive called me last night and told me he wants a divorce.”
“Can you blame him?”
Carolyn looked at her and averted her eyes. She shook her head no.
“Do you love him?”
“I don’t know,” she said with a shrug. “He is gentle and nice and does not make waves and I guess I wanted something more.”
Cara did not know what to say to her after all that. Her sister had never confided in her that she was experiencing all of this and she had lied to her put on top of it. What could she do?
“What do you want to do?” she asked her quietly.
“I want to stay here a little bit if you will allow that.” Carolyn told her.
All the instinct inside her was telling her to tell her to leave but how could she when apparently the girl was going through an unbelievable amount of stress?
“I would like you to stay.” She told her. “In the meantime I want you to come down and get something to eat or if you prefer I could send someone up with something for you to eat.”
“I am not used to people waiting on me Cara so I will be coming down in a little while. Just give me a moment to myself.”
Cara hesitated for a moment and then nodded. “I have to go to the center to sort some things out. Will you be okay?”
“I will spend some time with my niece and nephew and take advantage of the pool,” she said with a small smile. “I will be okay.”
“I hope you know you can always talk to me.” She told her sister quietly.
Chapter 6
The day of the twin’s birthday dawned clear and sunny. The weather report said it was going to be in the lower eighties with a slight chance of rain. Tents had been put up outside in case of showers but the day was cool and beautiful with hardly a cloud in the sky.
Cara still could not process what her sister had told her and over the weeks she had found herself watching her around her husband and feeling awful because of it. But she had seen when the girl lit up as soon as Matthew came into the room and when she thought no one was watching she would give him longing looks. She had not said anything about it to Matthew and she had not told him what she had confessed a few weeks ago. She was starting to wonder if she should ask her to go home but go home to what?
She was lifting Joel from the bath where she had told the nanny she would give him a bath when she felt the slight pain in the lower region of her belly. She gasped softly and steadied herself before she moved slowly with her son into his room. It was Saturday afternoon and the party was scheduled to start at four. There were going to be more adults than children there and she was determined that it would be over by six.
“Want me to take over?” she looked up to see her sister hovering in the doorway of the little boy’s powder blue room. Joel had his teething ring inside his mouth and was busily chewing on it as she powdered him and got ready to put on his clothes. She was starting to feel lightheaded and slightly dizzy but she was determined not to let anything ruin her childrens’ birthday. She started to say no but saw the expression on her sister’s face and nodded. She was aware that her sister was a month over her in her pregnancy but she seemed to be doing fine except for the strained look on her face.
“I need to sit for a little bit anyway,” she said with a small smile.
Carolyn came into the room and smiled down at the cherubic face of her nephew. Her breath caught as he smiled at her and she was reminded of his father. “He is such a beautiful child,” she said softly as she fastened his diaper and reached for his pants. His hair was a riot of blonde curls and they were always falling down around his face.
“How are you?” Cara asked her as she finished dressing Joel.
“I am okay and I have been seeing the doctor on a regular basis. He has given me something to make me sleep at night.” She said quietly.
Suddenly Cara felt the pity for her stir inside her. She had never experienced marrying a man she did not love and knowing the way she felt about Matthew she could never dream of settling for less than what she had with him. “It’s going to work out Caro,” she told her sister softly.
She stood Joel upright on the bed and used the brush to go through his curls. “I hope so.” She said with a faint smile. “I have a feeling you are disappointed in me and I cannot blame you. It has always been easy for you Cara, you are the beautiful one and you never had to settle. You decided that you would not settle and look where that took you.” She looked around the beautiful room with its beautiful tan furnishings.
Janice’s room was a pale peach and moss green and her bed was shrouded with a thin gauzy curtain, it was a true princess room and no expense had been spared. “I have been bonding with my baby since I have been here and no matter who the father is I am going to love the child.”
Cara looked towards the doorway and saw that Mrs. Morgan had come to collect Joel. “Come in Mrs. Morgan,” she told the woman with a smile. “He is ready for you. We will be right out.”
Janice was with Jennifer who had insisted on getting the little girl dressed. Matthew had stayed outside to instruct the men where to put the bounce about and the trampoline.
“Look. I might not approve of what you did or even begin to understand it but the fact remains that you are my sister and whatever your decision is, I will support you however I can.” She started to get up and felt the pain again causing her sit back down.
“Are you okay?” Carolyn looked at her frowning.
“I think the baby is pressing too far down on my cervix,” she said with a slight grimace. “Please do not say anything to Matthew; I really cannot tolerate his hovering right now.”
Carolyn nodded without saying anything and they left the room together.
*****
Cara settled back against the lounge chair and started rubbing her belly. She had been feeling the pain again while she was doing the rounds and talking to the parents. The children were having a ball and her husband was making sure that the food was enough. Jennifer had been overseeing the serving and making sure her niece and nephew were okay.
Janice looked incredibly adoring in a green and white dress with a red bow at her waist. She had a red bow in her riot of blonde brown curls which had fallen out during the pony ride. Christine, her husband and son were there and she had waved to them earlier. Marissa had come with her husband and had brought two huge gift bags and put them on the table. The last time she had seen her she was going into the cabana to change into her swimsuit to get ready for the pool.
Carolyn was sitting with a group of parents and was engaged in conversation with them. She felt rather than saw when her husband came beside her.
“You are missing all the fun,” he murmured lifting her feet and sitting at the foot of the chair and putting her feet into his lap. His ash blonde hair was tousled and his green eyes sparkling. He was wearing faded denims and a black polo shirt and looked relaxed and very handsome.
“What fun?” she asked him in amusement.
“The one where you get to jump up and down in the bounce about. Oh a
nd the one where Mrs. Larkin’s kid got to throw up a mixture of hot dogs and corn dogs right next to you.” He said wryly.
“At least it was not on you.” She told him with a laugh.
“At least,” he looked at her admiring the loose black and white silk blouse she had on and the crisp white pants. He had been watching her discreetly throughout the evening and wondering if the evening was too much for her. “How are you?”
“Just a little bit beat that’s all.” She told him casually. “Nothing to worry about.”
“Promise?” he asked her, his eyebrows rose.
“Promise.” She wriggled her feet as he stroked it rhythmically. “Carolyn seems to be enjoying herself.”
Matthew looked over at her for a minute and then nodded. He had spoken to her briefly last night and she had cried and told him she had no idea what to do about anything. He told his wife about it.
“You did not say anything to me about it last night when you came in,” she looked at him curiously reminding herself that she had not said anything to him about what she had told him either.
“I am telling you now baby,” his eyes were searching. “Do you trust me?”
“Of course I do,” she exclaimed. “It’s the women I do not trust.”
“Including your sister?”
Cara’s brown gaze met his and then looked over to where her sister was talking and laughing. “Including her.”
“If that is the case then you do not need to have her in the house baby,” he told her quietly. “I know for a fact that she means nothing to me other than the fact that she is your sister but if you feel differently then you need to do something about it.”
“I can’t put her out, I feel sorry for her.” Cara muttered. “I just hate the way she looks at you.”
“I promise to become invisible from now on.” He told her with a straight face.
She poked him in the ribs with her toes causing him to grunt. “She is in trouble and I have to help her. “I am waiting until she has the baby before I decide what needs to be done.”
“I am behind you one hundred percent.” He leaned over and kissed her on the lips. “I am going to rescue my sister from her nephew who seems intent on pulling her hair out.”
*****
The pains came again at two a.m. She had felt it slightly when they were cutting the cake and she was standing beside the table but had ignored it and hoped it would go away. Now with the excitement of the party behind them and the trouble they had putting the twins to bed, she was starting to feel the pain again. Matthew had made love to her slowly and leisurely not wanting to hurry the process in case he caused her any discomfort.
She moaned a little bit as she felt the sharp pain shivering through her. She was hoping it was nothing and had to do with the busy schedule she had had for the past few weeks. The next one came behind it quickly and had her crying out.
Matthew stirred and jumped up when he heard her. “Cara?” he switched on the bedside lamp and looked over at her.
“I am sorry,” she said trying to smile. “I think something is wrong.”
“Christ! Baby I asked if you were okay and you said no.” He reached for the phone and quickly dialed the doctor’s number getting off the bed at the same time.
“She is in pain.” He said abruptly, reaching for the denims he had worn earlier and pulled them on. “Any spotting?” he looked over at his wife and she nodded. “Yes,” he said tersely. “I will be there shortly.” He dialed his sister’s phone and told her what was going on and then he helped Cara get dressed, pulling out a jacket from the closet for her.
They met both women on the landing. “I am taking her in and I will let you know what’s going on,” he said barely giving them a glance. “Look in on the kids.”
“We will.” Jennifer told him wrapping her robe around her tightly.
Carolyn touched her lightly on the arm as she passed.
Matthew strapped her as soon as they got into the car and made short work of getting her to the hospital.
The doctor was waiting for them with a wheelchair and she was quickly wheeled into the examination room. Matthew suited up and went in with them. He watched anxiously as she was put on the bed and her feet put into stirrups for the examination. He saw her wince a few times as the pain took over her and he held her hands tightly.
It was a few minutes before the doctor could tell them what was happening. He took off the gloves and went to wash his hands in the sink in the room and instructed the nurse to take her feet out of the stirrups. “I am afraid I am going to have to recommend a few weeks total bed rest.” He said pulling the skull cap off his head and wiping the sweat from his forehead. “You were going into premature labor and the baby is not developed enough to come out yet.”
Cara stared at him in consternation. “Total bed rest? What does that mean?”
“It means that you are going to have to stay off your feet; no heavy lifting and no sexual activities for the period.” He said looking at them both. “I need you to come back and see me the second week in June. You are due for delivery in July so I want to see how the pregnancy is progressing.”
“How is our son?” Matthew asked him.
“Your son is doing fine for now and I want it to stay that way. I won’t have to keep you overnight Cara as long as you promise to stay off your feet.”
*****
“You told me that you were okay,” he said tersely as he made sure she was comfortable on the bed before taking off her shoes. He had been silent all the way from the hospital and she knew he was upset. “You are not supposed to keep things from me Cara especially when it comes to your health and that of our child.”
“I never thought it was a big deal,” she protested. Both Jennifer and Carolyn had waited up to hear what was going on and was apprised of the situation. “And besides I did not want to spoil the children’s party.”
“You want something to drink?” he pulled off his pants and reached for a pajama bottom. There was no way he could sleep beside her naked now without being able to touch her.
“Water please.”
He went to get the water and brought it to her. “You are not getting off this bed unless it is to go to the bathroom Cara and even if I have to stay in this room with you for the next two weeks then believe me I will.” He told her grimly as he took the empty glass away from her.
“You think I would disobey the doctor’s order?” she looked at him and saw that he had been shaken up.
“I don’t know Cara. I keep thinking that we should not have had this child. I did not give you a break from having the twins and I should have.” He plunged his fingers through his hair in agitation.
“Stop talking as if you were the only one who made the decision. I want this child Matthew and yes we went about it pretty quickly but I wanted us to have another before I am not able to have any more.” Cara told him impatiently.
He sighed and climbed on the bed beside her careful not to jolt her too much. “I am not sure I can even touch you right now in case I start something I am not supposed to. I don’t want to lose you baby.” He murmured taking her hand in his.
“You are not going to,” she said softly moving slightly to rest her head on his chest. “The doctor did not say anything about not cuddling.”
*****
The first few days were hell for her and the inactivity threatening to drive her crazy. She had to take all her meals inside her bedroom with the pillows propped up behind her to give her elevation. Jennifer and the nannies brought the children in to spend a couple of hours with her but they were not allowed to jostle her too much. Carolyn spent a lot of time with her and Jeannette and Christine came to see her but she was bored out of her skull. She got regular updates of what was happening at the center and the four year olds had made some very cute cards for her.
Marissa came to see her and brought her several large cups of smoothies. “You will be up and about before you know it.” She told her friend with
a teasing smile as she pulled up a chair and used the remote to turn off the large flat screen television that she had been mindlessly watching. Matthew had called her twice already to make sure she was not getting up too often. She was allowed to walk around the room for a few minutes but nothing over that. “I see your sister is looking a lot better than when I saw her back then. You spoke to her?”
“I did,” she slurped the smoothie in appreciation. “She is going through a lot Marissa and I don’t know if I can help her.”
“You can do so much and no more and I am advising you not to want to help to the detriment of your marriage.”
“I won’t.” She said solemnly. “How are you?”
“I have been better. I am getting a lot of lip from John’s children. They want to send their children to the apartment for the summer and I have told them a definite no.” She put her half empty cup on the table and patted her hair back in place. “I am sick and tired of them behaving as if I am with their father for his money. I have tried to prove myself over and over again that I am not the gold digger they make me out to be but it is not working. John tells me to ignore them but he does not understand how I feel.” To Cara’s surprise she saw the tears sparkling in the girl’s eyes.
“Honey!” she reached out a hand to her friend not used to seeing the usually tough and down to earth girl crying. “I want to agree with John and tell them to go to hell and you are very good at being direct.”
Marissa gripped her hand and smiled, sniffing away the tears. “You are right but I don’t want to alienate them, they are after all his children and I happen to love the man. His son is not so bad but his daughter is an absolute bitch.”
“I have a feeling you know how to deal with people like that.” Cara said with a gentle smile.
*****
Jennifer ordered tea for both of them. “Why don’t we take a load off?” she suggested as they left the playroom where the children were using the play dough to make magi with their fingers. They had taken over the supervision of the children and apart from going out on Wednesdays to do the work at the hospital, Jennifer usually waited until her brother got home before she went out on her date. There was a full complement of household staff around but she felt it was her duty to make sure that her niece and nephew were taken care of.